Kalina's inner circle of free babysitting

As the first grandchild on both sides of the family, Kalina's a pretty big deal--and has been since she was about the size of a lentil.

So much so, that one side of the family has migrated the the area to be closer to her (and, possibly for warmer weather as well, and other reasons, but these don't matter to Kalina) and the other visits regularly.

To keep it straight, we now have Grandpa Tom and Aunt Nancy in town, as well as Uncle Tom. Grandma visited recently. And Cousin Poky-Dog is here as well.

With this bolus of family comes the offer of free babysitting. And it always leaves me mystified.

What? You want to sit and play with the baby? While I go do something else? Maybe even something fun? You want to? Hmmm. Let's go over this again.

Not that I don't enjoy playing with my child--I do. But I have to like to play with her--I'm her mommy. The same mommy who will always take her side in a schoolyard dispute, even if she started it (the other kid looked at her funny) and tell her that her purple plaid pants look just adorable with her red striped shirt--because they will, Mommy says so.

And not that Kalina's not a sweet child to play with. I guess it's just that after 16 months of being held captive by my little girl, I'm not quite used to being allowed out into the real world again.

Not that I never have free time. I have it every evening, and most naptimes. When I'm not freelancing, I get to watch old videos of Kalina, stare at pictures of her, or even go shopping for her if Matt's kind enough to stay home. Or I can blog. So, I'm not exactly deprived of time to myself.

I can even understand offering to babysit while Kalina's asleep, and Matt and I have had some nice babysitting exchanges with friends that have provided us a date night or two.

Then why is it so astounding to me that family would want to babysit Kalina? Is this a sign that taking care of my child has become too much of a chore? After all, I'd be equally astounded if someone enthusiastically offered to sweep my floors or dust up my cobwebs. And I wouldn't let them: "This is my dirt--I can wrangle it myself. Now you go and enjoy yourself," I'd tell them. If I had enough energy, and if I wasn't wrangling Kalina too much to protest.

Besides, what if Kalina needed me, as she surely would? Nobody can take care of her like Mommy can. What's that? They might take care of her differently but just as well? Hogwash.

Fortunately, Kalina likes her extended family. She's not entirely relaxed around them yet, though. A hospitable little hostess, she jumps up to show them her new tricks every time they visit. "Look, I can stick out my tongue!" she exclaims proudly. "And that beep? That's the microwave! It's over here, and now we open the door to see what's inside," she happily explains.

Even better, I can occasionally leave the room, focus on something else, or, if the stars align, leave the house without the child pitter-pattering after me in hysterics (this works especially well during naptime).

But not everyone is welcomed immediately with open arms into Kalina's inner circle. It takes persistence, dedication and, in the event of Aunt Nancy, a voice that sounds comfortingly like Mommy's. Grandma, for instance, needs to be around for about a day before Kalina curls up in her lap for a story (not bad considering Kalina sees her only about 4 times a year). Aunt Nancy is cool as long as we see her every few days. Grandpa Tom is instantly popular out of doors, and fun to entertain indoors as long as he doesn't make any sudden moves to pick her up. Uncle Tom is still a bit scary for now, albeit hilarious at times. Poky Dog is greeted immediately, given the best seat in the house and as many Cheerios as Kalina can sneak away.

It may take me a while to get used to this whole free babysitting thing. And Kalina, too. Soon enough, though, I'll learn that being away for a few hours every now and then is good for my psyche, not to mention my career. Kalina, for her part, will learn that her world can stay intact even if Mommy is not sharing the same roof with her at the time. And probably, eventually, that she can get more candy out of the people not responsible for her dental bills.