Waiting patiently

One thing I've been working on with Kalina is the concept of "waiting patiently." Patience is such a lovely virtue, and especially in a toddler, and especially, especially in a toddler who is expecting a new sibling any minute. I knew Kalina had mastered the technique today as she made her stuffed cow and donkey wait patiently as we built them fire trucks out of blocks (Cow had to wait even longer than Donkey, since we built Donkey's fire truck first). Eventually both animals were happily situated in their fire engines, but each had endured a patient wait.

Nowadays, it seems like we're all waiting patiently. Every night is like Christmas Eve, but we have no idea whether "Santa" will come or decide to hold off for another day, and whether we'll get the fun new toy we wanted, or will be stuck with coal. (I'm pretty sure we'll get the toy.)

It's hard to know what to tell Kalina:

"Sometime soon, when the baby decides to come, Mommy and Daddy will go to the doctor at the hospital. Mommy will have to stay a few days."
*Frown,* said Kalina. And then bravely, "And Kalina will stay back home with Grandpa."
I could've kissed her for making that connection, and I probably did. What a trooper.

But then, every day the poor girl reminds me that I'll be going to the doctor. Which I do once a week, but not necessarily to have the baby, and I'm back in an hour or so, and so you can see where there might be some confusion.

It's also always strange saying goodnight to Kalina every evening not knowing whether I'll see her in the morning. How do you explain that to an extremely attached 2-year-old? (I don't even try.) Or to an admittedly also very attached Mommy, for that matter?

We've also been reading "big sister" and "new baby" books, which Kalina seems to enjoy. Today she effectively fed Lamby a "bottle," which was actually a toy bowling pin. I think she's picking up on the whole idea of having a baby around the house.

As for me, the fact that we'll be embarking on more newborn adventures first hit a few months ago when I held one. A brand-new, 2-day-old, teeny-tiny, wobbly-headed little boy. The sweet little guy slept peacefully in my arms for almost an hour, and was easily calmed by his mommy when he decided to fuss a little. I kind of missed newborn Kalina.

The experience couldn't have been nicer, and yet it left me shaking in my flip-flops at the prospect of actually having one of my own. The memories pelted me like shrapnel, the middle-of-the-night feedings first and then the crying and then the middle-of-the-night feedings again. And the diaper changes, which are endless and complicated and always messy.

And perhaps most of all, the complete inability to just hand the baby off to someone else who can make all her problems go away, because I'm the end of the road.

Besides, newborn Kalina was nothing like the newborn I'd held. Calming her generally required the likes of patting my head while rubbing my stomach while riding a unicycle with a flat tire, as well as extensive amounts of paperwork and a clone of myself. At least that's what it seemed like at the time.

It just happens that Kalina and I get along so much better now than we did back then. And no wonder. Based on her preferences about music, wearing socks and where the cats are at any and all times, we were getting it all wrong when she was a newborn. Good thing she can (and does) tell us what's bugging her now.

And here I am starting over. And I know exactly what I'm getting myself into, except for the fact that now my 1 hour of sleep/free time each day will be eaten up by my voracious, albeit adorable, toddler, who I'm sometimes convinced is only a sweetheart because I can take her to the park anytime we want and I rarely withhold stories from her when asked.

Fortunately, Matt and I are mostly prepared. Our freezer is stocked with nutritious home-made meals. Our house and cars are clean and relatively clutter-free. We've talked many times about what we'll do differently with this baby (and have spent about 5 seconds addressing what we'll do the same). We've discussed our roles, including Kalina's. We've discussed labor. We have almost all the supplies, and almost all of them are clean and fresh and nice for Little Sister. Nursery pictures to come.

I think we're both looking forward to the challenge of seeing if we can get this one to sleep like a normal child, and whether all kids hate:
-changing clothes
-tummy time
-"after-bath"
-being set down anywhere, at anytime
as much as Kalina did. It will be nice, in a way, to have new issues.

I have not packed the hospital bag, but I've at least started a list of what needs to be in it. I realized this was very irresponsible last night as I was experiencing regular cramping while drifting off to sleep. Eh, I'll pack tomorrow.

As for the book, all 72,000 words of the first draft are written and approved by the client, and I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be officially on maternity leave after this Friday as planned (having wrapped up a few additional loose ends).

And with most of our work complete, we've been able to have some fun as well (see the previous post). At the risk of utterly spoiling Kalina, we've been heading out to parks and on walks, reading lots of books and just goofing off. The other day, for instance, we all played in a giant sandpit and caught imaginary fish (made out of either Kalina-sized handfuls of sand or pure air) with imaginary rods (made out of the same materials), tossing them into the "livewell" (which was originally a "swimming pool" that Daddy dug in the sand) and finally eating them. Do you think Little Sister will fit in with our loony little family?

Matt thinks the baby will come any day, I'm thinking I have at least a week. What do you think? (Vote in the poll!)

Photo: Hanging out at the EPA lake, where Daddy works. (Having seen Daddy take a fishing pole to work recently--going in on a weekend--Kalina now seems to think that fishing is Daddy's job.)