Kalina and friends: the first three years



Kalina and Edward held hands all the
way from the park to the car!



Not long ago, whenever I asked Kalina who her best friends were, she would inevitably choose something furry and stuffed: various cats and farm animals, especially. Usually a group of animals, as they don't generally like to be separated. Sometimes Aunt Nancy.

But a few short months later, Kalina has effectively expanded her circle. She now cites Elise as her best friend (aw!) and can actually name a few unrelated humans, and their mommies, who she actually enjoys on occasion. Getting excited to see them, even, instead of cowering in fear.



Goofing around with Evan



And soon, we will move 800+ miles away from them. The end.

*sigh*

But when better for a tribute to Kalina's playmates? From Kalina's first few months of keeping us up at night to the big-girl bed transition (just a few weeks ago), they mercifully handed prized stuffed animals back to my sobbing girl, graciously shared snacks with her and were always happy to receive her cuddles (once again, only in recent months/weeks).

 

With Miah and Ms. Jaya on their
second Halloween



In the beginning, Kalina's friends were the babies she was introduced to far too early to care much either way, and climbed over to reach toys or Mommy. Occasionally they'd glance at each other during stroller walks and covet each others' snacks, which were easily shared.

Then, the Kalina we've known for most of her life emerged. Other kids were to be feared, whether they were half her age or twice it. Even now, more often than not, the approach or presence of another child from an activity Kalina is pursuing is enough to stop her in her tracks and send her straight back to Mommy. Particularly friendly children may have thought her rude, but we all know she's not--just petrified. Most have been oblivious to her flight, just as they would be to her presence.



Honorary member of the boys'
playgroup.



For this reason, the kids Kalina has felt comfortable with have been those who, for all intents and purposes, ignore and avoid her. She's always tolerated those kinds of kids--the ones who pay no attention as she sits on the sidelines and laughs at their antics, or does her own thing as well.

But throughout this time, Kalina's friends of choice have still been of the furry and stuffed variety. After all, what's a playdate with an armful of cats? Which does not, by the way, help her navigate playdates, and particularly ones in public places, as unnoticed as she would hope. Instead she's spent a good portion of her time running away in tears as another child toddles curiously after her in pursuit of her cargo. Like swimming in a shark tank while desperately clutching a raw steak. We've solved this by allowing her to keep her animals in the car or my diaper bag, but, again, what's a pladate without your best friends? Poor Kalina and her sweet little conundrum.

Climbing with Tierney

And this brings us to a couple months ago, when I actually witnessed, on several occasions, Kalina holding hands and/or hugging other children. Unbribed. She's eagerly awaited playdates of late, and run to greet her friends when we arrived. She's engaged in games of tag and run barefoot on a certain "tickle bridge" with them. She's even told jokes to total strangers, most of whom, being kids themselves, didn't understand what was so funny about having a pretend bird poop on their heads (I laughed). And little Kalina has even consented, at least once that I remember, to share one or more of her kittens. It all nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Peyton, the neighbor boy

We've known many of Kalina's friends since sometime in her very first year, so Kalina has, understandably, built up a bit of a history with each. And as baby/toddler/preschooler relationships go, each friendship has had its ups and downs. Some offer her cupcakes one time and then push her down another. Some inspire her to run loose and have fun, but intimidate her by actually trying to carry on a well-meant conversation. Some engage her imagination with stories she loves, but may have even been indimidated by her at times. Some have shared her love of animals, taken her by the hand to show her their cool toys, or amused her by the silly things they inevitably say and do. All have made her smile, laugh, cry, and grow into the lovely little girl she is. And all will be greatly missed--by me, too.

And now I realize that my shy sweetie is actually a "people person" at heart. She truly loves people--even those approximately her own age. When she gets to know them, that is, which can take a good two to three years. But once you're in Kalina's "inner circle," you never leave--no matter how far away we live.

Elise thought it was
hilarious that Kalina took
the giraffe for a "walk"

[Worth mentioning: The nature of Kalina and Elise's friendship is another thing entirely. While Kalina is happy to declare, "I love my baby!" she also would at times rather we left the baby outside while Mommy, Daddy, and Kalina played inside (even if she crawls into the street and gets hit by a car), sell her with the house when we move, use her as a vaccuum cleaner and let her fall off the bed (in the latter instance, "Kalina loves Elise so much, she wants her to fall off the bed and go to the hospital!") Elise on the other hand so far has only had positive feelings toward Kalina, except for once when she really just didn't want to have her hand held by her big sister right then.]