Family vacation: a mammoth adventure

We made it to Mammoth Cave! If
only Matt had been in the photo!

Family vacation time! We embarked with high hopes bent on relaxing hours spent at the indoor waterpark in the hotel we'd booked, cable TV in the room, delicious cooked-for-us-and-cleaned-up-afterward restaurant food and a little exploring, too. Not to mention a lot of fun as a family. The girls were excited: "It's so boring being stuck at home and not on vacation," -Kalina. "I will bring my ponies!" -Elise.

Matt and I were excited, too, but also worried about the snowy weather that could turn our vacation into a staycation. I explained to the girls our predicament, and Kalina responded with a good attitude that she showed time and again during the trip (which worked out despite the snow). I spent the day before running around like a crazy person packing, not having done anything ahead of time in fear of having to undo it later. By the end, I was unable to form complete sentences, but I had, indeed, included every single thing we could possibly need, with the possible exception of extra extra diapers for our long-time potty trained second child. It was all to come in handy, as would've the diapers. It took Matt all of 10 minutes to pack up his own suitcase. At least it was one less I had to pack?

Elise, on the other hand, spent the day regressing in her potty training, which for the past few months she'd negotiated nearly flawlessly. She must be learning some big new skill, like hopping on one foot (which she desperately wants to do), or figuring out new uses for her favorite word, poop.

There's something about actually getting on the road that makes me breathe a sigh of relief--if we've forgotten something, there's no longer anything I can do. It's a freeing feeling. Unless, of course, I really should've packed more diapers, which becomes readily apparent within the first hour or so as Elise's exclamation of, "I have to go potty!" quickly turned into, "I went potty!" when we couldn't find an exit off the interstate in the next 30 seconds. Fortunately, the carseat makers' crash-test dummies must come equipped with full bladders, as they nicely include a little extra, removable, washable padding, so we still had a shot at a pleasant ride. Elise went into a swim diaper (which I actually had included more than enough of), and stayed in one for any ride of any duration the rest of the trip. Which frustrated me no end, as Matt has never believed me that she's potty trained, and now never will. We both cringed the rest of the trip whenever Elise started any sentence with, "I have to...," which she did a lot, especially while on the interstate. ("I have to...put my ponies in this cup." "I have to...find my orange ball." Heart starts beating again.)

I'd stocked up on a few new trip toys, including lap trays! Kalina was off to the races making her own sticker storybook in a spiral-bound notepad. Elise, who soon rejected the toys and hardly said a word despite having a captive audience, happily cuddled her soft blankie and an orange sparkly ball we'd resurrected in time for the trip. Periodically, someone would drop something and if I contorted myself enough, I would be able to pick it up. Which is a small price to pay for happiness, however, as the kids moved slowly and a bit begrudgingly from the, "I must be entertained!" mindset into the, "Hmmm, that's a rather interesting dot on the ceiling," mindset that's so necessary for travel. And we were well on our way!

The tiny plastic figures lined
up, including some brought
from home. 

Halfway in, I unleashed the, "This is as good as it gets, girls!" trip toy, which was, honestly, about as good as it gets if you're a kid. I'd found some "busy books" that contained a book, some plastic characters and a playmat (for the hotel). Elise was delighted to add seven new plastic ponies to her collection (her best friends lately have been plastic ponies), and Kalina was thrilled to be introduced to Strawberry Shortcake and friends. Although the toys were easily dropped, the play value turned out to be astounding.

Finally, we arrived at our hotel in Kentucky! It had a small indoor waterpark, and a tiny room for us, but we soon made it our home (read: spread our stuff everywhere). The girls played with Strawberry Shortcake and ponies while we unpacked. Elise picked up right where she'd left off from home: filling a cup with water and giving everyone baths. In fact, they were having so much fun that I wasn't sure we'd go swimming at all. ("Would you rather go to the pool, or just play in the hotel room until bedtime?" I tried to say without any emotion in my voice.)

You don't get any readier to
swim than this!

Soon enough, we were in the pool, which was really perfect for us, and made better by the fact that the girls could have small floaties, and Elise could bring her favorite orange ball. The only reason we ever went back to our room was because the water was just a bit chilly. Kalina figured out the joy of floating, and Elise seemed to run buoyancy experiments on her orange ball, or gave it rides in her turtle floaty. A few similarly aged boys noticed how much fun she was having and tried everything short of grabbing the ball to get my girls to play with them (or, specifically, to gain control of the ball). Seeing as the boys were well-behaved, I watched to see what would happen. Elise held on fiercely, having been prejudiced towards boys by her older sister and actually worried earlier about what would happen if another kid tried to take her ball. While she had previously convinced herself that a "big-girl baby" (what's that?) would return the ball, she knew in her heart that a boy might not. Kalina simply payed them little attention. I felt a little bad for the boys and tried to give them an apologetic look.

For supper, we decided to try the hotel restaurant. "Restaurant." More of a poolside snack bar, it at least offered pizza and chicken nuggets. "Chicken" nuggets. We dug in. And regretted it. At $1 per nugget, the chicken was crunchy (in a very, very bad way) and the pizza could be topped by a Tombstone frozen original (but not by Imo's, we both decided). At least the kids hardly knew the difference, except when they couldn't chew the chicken, and we managed to fill our tummies before heading upstairs to gorge on the dried apricots I'd brought and slowly wind down for bed.

Elise is always excited about her pack-and-play, for some reason, and I'll hate to break the news to her soon that she's almost outgrown it. Sometimes, in fact, she's a little too excited. She loves the way her feet can push against the soft sides, and make swishy noises. For an hour. While we're all trying to sleep. It sounds as though she's trying to dig her way out, or perhaps fly, and occasionally she whispers (so as not to wake the rest of us up, I assume) to her animals, too.

2-year-old + Turtle = Happy

Matt and maybe Kalina were able to get to sleep, but I couldn't dream of dozing while one of my children is awake (no matter how hard I try sometimes). Instead, I worry and send sleep vibes in their direction. This is something I've been doing since Kalina was a newborn, and it works about as well as you'd figure--but I have to do something.

And actually, shortly after I sent a couple concentrated blasts of sleep vibes in Elise's direction, the swishing finally stopped and her breathing became steady and even (all within about three minutes). And finally I could sleep!

I was awakened about 45 minutes later by another hotel patron cussing loudly at someone outside my door. Three times. Had he woken up my two young children and taught them a new word, he would've faced fierce, growly Mama Bear, but fortunately for him, I was the only one who heard him before he moved on. Three and a half hours later, give or take, I was asleep again.

Kalina loved riding on top
of her monkey!

In the morning, it didn't take much to excite the girls for breakfast and another swim. Much to their delight, Kalina and Elise got to indulge in their first-ever bowl of Fruit Loops (or, as Elise called them, Rainbow Cheerios--not to be confused with the slightly healthier Fruity Cheerios, which don't taste quite as good as the real thing if you're a kid) and some yogurt. Then we put on our swimsuits and headed down to a near-empty pool for another nice swim. Two things happened: the boys were back, and my girls learned how to splash. Matt and I made sure to splash back, friendly but serious, so they quickly learned the consequences of splashing another person. Fortunately, the girls never splashed the boys, or vice versa, so we all played peaceably. Also, Kalina ventured down the kiddie water slide on my lap, me holding her above the water when we hit it so that only I would be dunked (yay.). As you'd figure, she thoroughly enjoyed her ride. I volunteered Daddy for the next one. Matt also tried a slide, and managed to find a way to shoot out of it like a torpedo, dousing everyone on deck but garnering belly laughs from his three girls.

After the swim, the bathtub was almost as exciting, as the kids could play with their tiny plastic figures and the occasional hotel cup or two. We let them play--we were in no hurry. Then, it wouldn't be vacation without a stop at McDonald's, and finally we were on our way for the meat of our visit, a tour of Mammoth Cave! We were on the road an hour early--after all, we wanted to explore the park a bit before taking the tour. And then we realized were were actually on the road two hours early, as the cave was in a different time zone. Hooray! Free time!

We would have to drive for nearly an hour and a half to get there, but the girls were seasoned travelers by now. Nevertheless, I didn't know what our supper options would be, so I packed plenty of snacks even while rejecting the DVD player. The girls packed along their tiny plastic figures.

About 30 minutes down the road, we puzzled over a road sign that quietly warned us of an accident and mildly suggested we exit in about five miles. One mile later, we passed a different exit, and several hundred feet after that, we were brought to a standstill. Thankfully, Elise had fallen asleep only minutes ago, as she wouldn't have done while we were stopped, so we whispered back and forth about the implications of a possible interstate closing, and how it's a good thing we'd left early. And how we were sure they'd get it cleaned up soon.

We watched the minutes tick by as Elise woke up from a good nap, as we channeled both to the potty chair in the back of the station wagon as needed (what would we have done without it?!?), half-heartedly entertained the kids, who were actually doing a better job than I was, at least, of patiently staring at nothing out the window, and managing our disappointment while shifting plans, just in case we didn't make it. We didn't make it.

By the time we'd been on the interstate for 4 hours, we'd totaled 10ish hours of preparation, plus 10 hours of driving, and had spent almost 2 1/2 in the pool. Do the math, and it doesn't come out in our favor, other than the fact that the kids were actually quite happy. When we broke the news that we'd neither be going to Mammoth Cave that day, nor Dinosaur World (a place I'd mentioned weeks earlier and that Elise had her heart set on, but was really just not practical to visit in the freezing weather), Kalina's reaction was simply a cheerful, "That's okay! We'll just go back to the hotel!" Elise, however, insisted that if she couldn't go to Dinosaur World, she just wanted to go home. Eventually we will have to get her there.

We'd driven for 30 minutes, sat and creeped for 3 1/2 hours, and then we were finally on our way back to our hotel--another 30+ minutes. By the time we arrived, it was time for supper. Despite a few hilarious jokes about revisiting the hotel restaurant, we decided that only comfort food would fit the bill and stopped at Cracker Barrel. The girls sat nicely in their seats and cheered for applesauce. Simple pleasures--but I'm continually amazed at their forbearance, which is officially better than mine. I now realize that I was the whiny 2-year-old on the trip, not Elise. In truth, it kind of felt good.

After a brief swim, it was lights out again, and we all slept better except, potentially, Kalina who woke up smiling but presumably disoriented around midnight (I dashed to her side and redirected her head toward the pillow, and all was good).

We woke the kids up bright and early so we could, again, try to visit Mammoth Cave! They were game, especially after another bowl of Fruit Loops. We cautiously ventured out onto the interstate, and were amazed to find that the ground it took us 3 1/2 hours to cover the previous day simply whizzed by in two minutes or less, while the girls dropped toys and, in Kalina's case, reread her sticker book, which she'd turned into a cute little story that she made up. Nevertheless, neither of us rested easy until we were sitting in the Mammoth Cave Parking lot, about 20 minutes before the building opened.

Once inside, Daddy and Kalina enjoyed the museum while Mommy and Elise spent some quality time in the restroom--or rather, running back to the car to get the potty seat because we're now apparently afraid of falling in, or something. When will potty ever not be a massive undertaking? Apparently, not for a while.

We'd prepared the kids for the darkness of the cave, for stalactites and stalagmites, and for the excitement of being underground. Neither claimed to be more than a little nervous. We forgot, however, to prepare Kalina for the bus ride to and from the entrance. She said she was scared of the bumps, but really, I think it was the fact that we were careening around curves with a higher than normal center of gravity. Elise enjoyed it; Kalina insisted on being clutched tightly by me the whole way, and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she was able to plant her feet on firm ground again.

And into the cave we went! Although this particular cave tour was a bit narrower, darker and more slippery than I remembered it, no one got scared! And it was really cool, with plenty of stalactites, stalagmites and other formations. In fact, I was so excited to take pictures that I dropped my camera! And broke it. Without snapping a single photo of the cave's interior.

I swallowed my disappointment, and tightly held onto one child's hand or the other throughout our short tour. Kalina walked along nicely, even paying attention to the tour guide at times. Elise took the opportunity of constant hand-holding, which she wasn't too thrilled about, to alternately try to hang from our hands through the cave, and slip away so she could touch things she undoubtedly wasn't supposed to. Both navigated amazingly well, however, considering their ages.

We found a pink formation and a purple formation, watched drips of water splashing down and spotted cave crickets and spiders. Kalina took an extra 49 narrow, slippery steps with Daddy to see even more, while Elise and I decided to wait safely at the top (mostly, neither of us wanted to manage a squirmy toddler down the steps--maybe in a couple years). It was the perfect length of tour for the kids--and enough to leave Matt and I hungry for more another time. Kalina's favorite part was the stalactites and stalagmites, while Elise's was the dripping water.

Back at the surface, we headed to the gift shop for postcards. Kalina enthusiastically tried to get one of each, while Elise immediately donned four rubber bracelets. We soon distracted them by allowing them to each pick out one small souvenir--and they both convinced us to let them get a souvenir for a friend, too (how could we argue with that?). Elise quickly settled on a shiny purple ball for herself and a blue bracelet for a friend. Kalina filled a tiny bag with polished stones for friends, and then could not for the life of her decide what she wanted! She surprised us all by bypassing the stuffed animals and opting for two small turtles carved out of stone.

After making a few sandwiches, we hopped back into the car for the trek home--now with even more small objects to lose in the car! I still didn't mind, though. By now, the kids were so accustomed to riding patiently that we probably could've driven straight through to Alaska, but we'll save that for another time.

The ride home was uneventful and hardly whiny at all, especially considering Elise did not nap, except when the girls realized that vacation was basically over. They have settled back in nicely, however, and happily played with tiny plastic figures much of the first day home while I unpacked. And while we might not be returning to Kentucky anytime in the near future, we will certainly be vacationing again!