The Odegaard family: in progress: Big sisters

Prettier than Grandpa's roses!

We recently started Elise on an allowance. It's a bit crazy--a 3 1/2-year-old getting an allowance--but neither of us really feel up to the task of explaining to her that she's younger than Kalina. It would take a lot of tears and a lot of convincing (especially when Kalina brings home a new toy every so often just because she's older), and we're pretty sure she would never forgive us. So we just give her a couple quarters a week, and consider it an investment in family peace.

[That being said, maybe we should give Kalina more credit--she's spent a good portion of her allowance on Elise and seems to enjoy indulging her little sister (or once, by her own admission, being able to play with her own toys without her little sister constantly asking to play with them). Elise has received small plastic Care Bears, a stuffed grey kitten, gum and more from her big sister's generosity.]

Elise's favorite activity at
Grandpa's house.

In this and other ways, Elise has been a "big sister" for almost as long as Kalina has. For example, Elise the Brave is usually the one who doesn't mind going down to the basement, or to the "scary" part of the basement, to retrieve the forgotten toy. Or to the neighbor's house alone without asking permission to knock on their door and ask the neighbor girl to play with both of them while Kalina watches from our yard. Kalina lets me call her "little Kalina," but Elise insists on "big," or at least "middle." And I'm pretty sure Kalina learned some of the nuances of bike riding from little Elise (don't tell her I called her that).

It does sometimes seem to confuse and frustrate Elise when she feels out of place among Kalina's friends, or can't run quite as fast as Kalina ("She always gets the swing first!"). But being a mere 3 1/2, poor thing, is never reason enough for her to give herself a break.

A pair of scientists.

Of course, we're still watching Elise unfold as an actual big sister. As Naomi has learned to scoot and crawl and become a real threat to Pink Bear and other treasured possessions (such as Mommy, who is still walking Naomi around in all her free time), Elise has, as you'd expect, sensed a tiny bit of competition. But Elise's natural generosity and easygoing spirit also shine through: "It's okay if Naomi puts Pink Bear in her mouth." What 3 1/2-year-old ever says that? Granted, Naomi is cuter than most babies.

Meanwhile, Kalina, who was a bit younger than Elise (at only 3 instead of 5 1/2, as Elise seems to be now) when Elise was Naomi's current age (did you follow that?), has settled quite naturally into the roll of substitute mommy. Although she occasionally gets it wrong (stop tickling the baby right before naptime!!!), she's occasionally almost on par with Daddy for quality of caretaking (stop tickling the baby right before naptime!!!). She patiently and sweetly plays with the baby, often stepping in without being asked, and winning some of the best grins of the household.

Naomi could do this all day!

Elise, by the way, has her own style of playing with Naomi, which often includes plain old silliness. I imagine Naomi will better understand the humor behind, "Look, Naomi, there's a giraffe on my head!" with a few months' experience ("Wait a second...giraffes don't belong on peoples' heads! Hahahaha!"), but the two are already forming their own sweet relationship.

Both big girls are ultra protective of their little sister. Sometimes more protective than is entirely convenient.
Kalina or Elise, panicking: "Mommy, the baby is playing with a napkin!!!"
Me, the hypocrite: "Um, I know, it's okay, I'm watching her."
Kalina or Elise: "But she's not supposed to play with napkins! She might tear off little pieces and eat them!!!"
Me, fully recognizing the very valid point and countering with what feels like a very valid point of my own: "Thank you, Sweetie, but this is the only way I'm going to be able to make lunch for us, and she's not trying to eat the napkin right now. If she does I'll take it away, I promise."
And so the big sisters are learning that all rules are relative and at the mercy of convenience. Bad mommy! I will have to undo all of this down the road, but for now, we need to eat lunch.

Kalina and Naomi playing happily.

Speaking of choking hazards, it's been made painfully obvious that girls as a species gravitate toward tiny objects. The big girls love miniature animals and shiny beads, and the baby loves them just as much. Beyond this, the big girls love building pet cages and landscapes out of blocks, and the baby has no problem with knocking them down as she explores their creations. We have navigated this territory before with the two big girls and everyone survived, but only through a miserable combination of baby gates (which nobody really likes), new rules, sadness and mad grabs.

Tiny treasures aside, for the most part, the girls are actually helpful. They are happy to fetch Naomi's comfort animal--a hedgehog puppet that she attached to all by herself--attempt to distract her during fussy diaper changes or carseat transitions, feed her, read her naptime story and pile around her more toys than she could possibly play with at one sitting (partly because she doesn't like to sit still). I used to worry that Naomi would be alternately neglected and picked on; now I am pretty certain she'll be spoiled no end, never so much as having to tie her own shoes until she's eight years old.

One of Elise's favorite jobs
is to swing the baby.

I maintain that every baby should come with a 5-year-old and 3-year-old girl. Life is crazy, but more often than not, it's a fun kind of crazy. Many times a day I'm very thankful to have a couple of "big sisters" around, whether they're haphazardly trying to drag her away from potential choking hazards (which almost always provokes a rushed, "Thank you for helping, but please don't drag the baby!" from me) or pretending to sneeze on her (Kalina: "But she likes it!"). And I'm pretty sure Naomi is, too.

_____________

Some cute things the big girls have said lately:

Me: Wow, clouds and wind. What do we think of that?
Kalina: Clouds plus wind make rain!
Elise: And rain plus sun make a rainbow! And a rainbow makes colors! And colors make love! (Big, sweet smile.)
Kalina: And love makes imagination, and imagination makes fun, and fun makes happy!
Leave it to my girls to turn the possibility of rain into happiness.

We raised tadpoles! And are about to
release them.

Kalina: I want to be a queen for my birthday.
Elise: And then you can marry Jesus!

Elise: If I ever poof up and start to float away, just tell me to let out some of that air, and I will float back down.

Elise, every so often: Am I magic?
She's pretty convinced she is. When asked what her super powers are:
"I'm super-strong. I can lift my bike. And I can talk without talking." (She means thinking.) What's her favorite thing to say without saying it? "I love you."

Squish, squish, yum!

All about Naomi:

In her 9th month, Naomi worked her hardest on half a dozen different milestones. I think she might say "ma-ma-ma and almost mean it," and possibly even "ball," and her pincer grasp can easily get Cheerios, peas and other small bits of food into her mouth, a process she relishes. In fact, her favorite way to eat her food is by squishing it first. Squish, squish, yum...squish, squish, yum. And in this way, she actually works up a pretty decent appetite, even while extinguishing ours.

All the rest of the developments have been gross motor skills that have nothing to do with squishing macaroni and cheese. Naomi waved at Kalina on Wednesday, and at Daddy today. She can pull up to standing, sometimes bend down and keep her balance, stand for a few seconds by herself, walk one-handed and dance. She can crawl, too, but she still prefers walking unless she has proper motivation. And my personal favorite, she gives hugs on command--but only if she loves you. :)

We sold a couple cups of lemonade
during a neighborhood garage sale!
Thank goodness everyone let us
keep the change...

The baby continues to love studying things and freaking out if you pull her away too early. Her personality is very interactive--she occasionally tries to engage her big sisters in play, enjoys "showing off" and wavers back and forth between quite cheerful and furious, depending on whether or not she is doing something she wants to be doing. Naomi is not mellow, but is happy to be distracted for reasonable periods of time as long as the distraction is worth her time.