The infinitely quotable Elise

If you've ever talked to Elise you know that, well, Elise likes to talk. Fortunately, she also has a way of putting smiles on our faces, unless, of course, she's lawyering us. But we'll save that for another post. Over the years, I've kept track of some of her choicest gems, preserved here, along with quote from Kalina and Naomi afterward. I'll continue to update this but the best ones are a little fewer and farther between.

Age 4: "It's quiet in here except for us!" amid lots of chattering as we made our way through an office building to the dentist.

Age 4: "Mommy let me tell you something. If you climbed this tree you would get a free ride to the sky." (spoken about a tall tulip tree)

Feb. 6, 2013: Kalina told Elise the following story: Once upon a time there was a little girl named Elise, and she didn't have a big sister, so she went to look for one. She came across a girl named Kalina, and she said, "Will you be my big sister?" and Kalina said "Yes." And they lived happily ever after.

*sniff*

Age 5: "Mommy, Jesus and God have to be different, because Jesus died and God didn't." 
Me: "Wow. That's something people have been talking about for hundreds of years." 
Elise: "And I already figured it out!" (super proud, and told Matt later that evening)

December 2015: "My  name is Elise, I'm a cheerful girl, and I love ballet!"

February 2015: "Mommy, how does Santa get all the money to buy the toys?
Me: "Doesn't he just have his elves make them?" 
Elise: "But he said in his letter that sometimes he sends his elves out to buy toys." 
Me. "Oh yeah, that's right." 
Elise: "How about all the parents can send Santa Claus some money for the toys he buys?" 
Me: "That sounds like a good idea." 
Elise: "Or maybe he could just get the toys from the store without paying." 
Me: "Wouldn't that be stealing?" 
Elise: "Well, he'd do it at night and make sure no one saw so it wouldn't be a big deal."

February 29, 2015: 
Matt, changing an air filter in the car: "Elise, I want to show you how to put in an air filter--you might have to do it someday!"
Elise: "That's okay, Daddy, I'm planning to get married."

March 2016: "Dad, the only problem with my swimming is that I can't float."

March 3, 2016: 
What Happens in Winter, by Summer Odegaard
Down fall the snowflakes
The wind rustles in the trees.
Squirrel has a nest
But what about me?

I have a nice, cozy home
That I sleep in every night
And I have toys to play with in the morning
And I have everything I need.

And best of all, parents and God.

Spring 2016: Elise's recipe for Blueberry Bread
"How? Make normal bread but wait, I'm forgetting something. Before you bake it, put blueberries in the dough that you have made. Now you may bake bread, a little less than normal temperature--you don't want your blueberries to get burned. Once you have baked it for one minute less than you normally do--or half a minute if it's a minute--then take it out and wait til it cools. Then you can all have a piece if your mom says so. All you need is this recipe--I don't know how to make bread, but that's fine."
Sell our blueberry bread
 $10 per loaf
We will have to taste our loaf
It's true that it's delicious, true, true, true. 
Only $10! Give samples to assure them, and lemonade.


Late April, 2016: "I accidentally smelled the flowers, but I'm glad I did!"

After Easter, 2016:
How My Kitten Got it's Chocolate Paws
One time my kitten got off its shelf in Target and the door was open. The Kitten walked our and walked into a factory and went along with a tour. It dipper its paws into the chocolate and somebody noticed her and the person chased it out and the chocolate dried. It entered Target again. Much, much later, while I was at piano lessons, Mommy bought it with Naomi and I got it for Valentine's Day. The end.

May 2, 2016: Bean juice spilled on my clean kitchen floor, and a couple Corn Chex crunched on it as well.
Me: "Oh wow, I just cleaned the floor and it's already quite dirty again! I'd better clean it up."
Elise: "That's okay, Mommy. We're used to a dirty floor."
Me: "Oh no, I suppose I need to clean the floor more often!"
Elise: "No, we're used to a dirty floor, Mommy."

June 29, 2016: A proud announcement: "Mommy, I think I'm beginning to be able to smell pheromones. Whenever I'm around ants, I smell a smell that I don't smell anywhere else!"

Elise's wishes in her own words (winter, 2016):
1. Go to Fairyland
2. Help people
3. Dance in the Nutcracker
4. Be a scuba diver
5. Lose teeth soon

Personal, not as big:
Be a bike and scooter star
Sail around in the ocean and float in outer space

Winter 2016"The funny thing about me is I love pies, and they're not my favorite!"

1-6-17
Elise: "Mommy, most people don't seem to know that fairies are real."
Me: "It sure seems that way."
Elise, whispering: "I'm smarter than most grownups!"

1-8-17
Crouching down so her bear hat seems to sit on the table: "A bear has come for dinner!"

5-9-17
Trying Havarti cheese for what she believes to be the first time (although it probably wasn't):
Elise: "It's like when you go down a super-fast slide for the first time. And you know it will be more fun the next time you do it."
Me: Would you like another bite?
Elise: "Yes, please."

6-27-17
(With a piece of paper in her mouth like a duck bill). "Mmmph, mmph, mmph." Me: What's that, Elise? (Taking the paper out): "It's my duck bill. Now I know why ducks can't talk."

7-13-17
Me, prepping the girls for a playdate with friends who don't all know each other: "Make sure you do something so everyone's included. Like put on a show, or play hide and seek."
Elise, laughing indulgently and rolling her eyes a bit: "Mom--really? Hide-and-seek? I think I'm a little old for that!"
Me: "A lot of kids play hide and seek, it's fun!"
Elise: "Um, Mom, I think I'm a level above hide and seek. That's, like, Naomi's level. I mean, do the moms get together and play hide and seek?"
Etc. 
I never convinced her--although very recently (2020), she was open to the option of playing hide and seek in our backyard.

7-26-17
Dejectedly, while making a sweet birthday heart card for Matt, "There are so many birthdays to celebrate that aren't mine."

10-3-17
"Mommy, you don't know what it's like to be friends with a tree."

November, 2017
"Yeah, it really was an awesome trip to Florida, and the third bite [sting] wasn't the jellyfish's fault."

12-19-17
Elise was talking about her beloved stuffed hamster. She's been making felt hamsters for her sisters, and was listing their birthdays. She purchased her stuffed hamster, which shares her birthday, with her allowance money the day after Thanksgiving, and has played with it daily ever since.
Me, totally expecting a resounding yes: "Elise, would you still have bought Furble if it didn't share your birthday?"
Elise: "No, it was so expensive. Five dollars! Are you kidding?  For a hamster?!"

12-21-17
With a heap of made-from-scratch chicken pot pie on her plate.
Me: "How's the chicken pot pie?"
Elise, trying to be polite: "Mmm, I don't not like it as much as I usually don't like what's for dinner."

1-3-18
At the tail end of a great discussion about genetics and ethics (i.e, why we can't make actual mermaids using fish and human DNA).
Kalina, somewhat seriously: "How would a mermaid poop?"
Elise, confidently: "In seaweed bundles."

After making her own recipe of cupcakes: "They're even healthy, with one cup of sugar but two cups of flour!"

7-5-18
The girls found and captured a box turtle.
Matt: "What kind is it?"
Elise: "We don't know."
Matt: "It's not a snapping turtle is it?"
Elise: "No!"
Matt: "How do you know?"
Elise: "I touched it."

5-12-19 (Mother's Day)
Me, stuffed: "I'll try my chocolate tomorrow."
Elise, sighing: "It just seems as though if you get two packs of chocolate, you should at least try one."

Summer 2019
After trying sauerkraut. "It's disgusting! But I still consider it a valuable experience."

April 2020
Me: "Hey Elise, what did you think of the corn and beans?"
Elise (smiling sheepishly): "Well, um, it's just that, I can tell it's a good recipe and it's the type of thing I would probably like if I were an adult. But I'm a kid and, well, kids like sweet things."

Naturally, Naomi and Kalina have had their own share of delightful quotes (and others have been preserved in other blog posts). Here are a bunch of my favorites:

9-7-11 Kalina

Kalina's pinky finger was "painting a garden," along with signs for the garden. The signs said: "Don't fly in the sky unless you have a bird with you," "Don't fall into holes unless you have a friend with you," "Don't hang kittens from high places in trees because they might get stuck and a fire truck would have to come get them down," "Don't light a fire when the baby is in the chimney."

12-10-11 Kalina
Drove around with Kalina to look at Christmas lights.

Kalina: Mommy, are there 100 lights?

Me: I bet there are even more than 100!

Kalina: How many are there?

Me: I don't think it's even possible to count all of them!

Kalina (quietly): One. Two. Three.

A few streets later she quit counting after about 76. Too many to count, I suppose.

3-28-12 Kalina

Among Kalina's morning ponderings: What do squirrels have inside them? What would happen if a raccoon ate a flower? What would happen if a shadow went all the way into a deep, dark, hole? Can God count to a trillion? Do kittens lick up water? Kittens? Water? Cats? Water? (I guess she just wanted a lot of confirmation on the last one--it's very important to know for sure when it's your job to care for kittens.)

9-6-12 Kalina

Kalina: Mommy, I'll grant you any wish with my magic wand. What do you wish for?

Me: That we could all take a walk after dinner.

Kalina: No, I will not grant that wish.

Me: Why not?

Kalina: Bibbity Bobbity Boo, your eyes are now teal!

9-9-16 Naomi
Me: "Naomi, do you want to help me empty the dishwasher?"
Naomi: "I have chores to do." (as she plays near her toy kitchen)

10-21-16 Kalina
Kalina: "Mommy, Elise discovered something!" (Excitedly)
Me: "Wow! What is it?"
Kalina: "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's something that has been discovered before." (Dreamily, sitting down with a book, ending the conversation.)

Naomi Late November, 2016:
N: "I don't like the rain."
Me: "Why?"
Naomi: "Because it falls from the sky."
Me: "What would you rather it do?"
Naomi: "Come from the ground and go up to the sky."

Kalina 12-1-16:
*sigh* "Time is so precious." (Being asked to come in and clean up after she plays outside)

Kalina 5-6-17
Matt and I were talking at dinner about how we were going to go to Lowe's on our date.
Kalina: "Is that what you call a date?"

Naomi: Spring, after we found out we were moving, and with tears in  her eyes.
"Will we get a new Grandpa in Kansas City?"

Naomi: 6-21-17
Talking about who she's going to marry.
"He has to be nice, and I have to like him, and he has to be a boy." Concerned: "But who am I going to marry?" Me: "You might not know him yet. You might meet him when you're older."
Naomi: "I have to love him, I have to like him, and I have to know his name."

Naomi (age 2-3): "No I amn't" (pronounced em-nt--she made her own contraction!)

July 2017
Naomi: "Squeak, squeak"
Me, looking up: "Was that you Sweetie?"
Naomi: "No, it was my dolphin."

7-23-17
Me: "Naomi, don't run at the pool." (Naomi begins to skip)
Me: "Naomi, please don't skip either."
Naomi: "Skipping isn't running, it's happy walking!"

August, 2017
Coloring a Mayflower picture:
Naomi: "What color should I color it? I'll do orange, that's a cross between a good color and brown."

August, 2017, playing a game
Naomi: "What color of bear would you like to start with?"
Me: "Yellow."
Namoi: "Um, yellow doesn't go with any beautiful colors."
Me: "Isn't yellow beautiful?"
Naomi: "Well, it's the color of the sun, and the sun burns my eyes."

December, 2017
Naomi: "Daddy, get me out of this itch-dress!"

1-25-18
Naomi: "I like it when kisses stay on other people."
Naomi: "Why do snaggles like to have tangly fun?" (When I was brushing her hair)

2-22-18
Naomi: "Mommy, Bella [the purple stuffed bunny] wants everything to be perfect. But don't worry, because I'm perfect."

2-22-18
We celebrated Naomi's half-birthday yesterday. Because nothing else was going on and we happened to be making chocolate muffins. She knows she's now 4 1/2
Today, me: "Here, Naomi, how about these socks?"
Naomi: "Um, Mommy, I feel like those are kind of 4-year-old socks."

2-1-18
Kalina, responding to a "hopes and dreams" paper assignment: "All my dreams are disasters and all my hopes are unlikely!"

6-1-18
Naomi: "If I don't have my fairy wings on, I'm only halfway dressed."


6-25-18
Leaving the library through automatic doors, Kalina pretended to "magically" open the doors with a wave of her hands. "I might be able to make dogs and toddlers believe it," she commented matter-of-factly.

7-7-18
Kalina
"When I go off to college, I'm going to get a chameleon, so I don't have to worry about hiding it. It'll hide itself. I'll have it in a terrarium with fairy statues, like a fairy garden."

7-10-18
Kalina, after emerging from an air-conditioned house into a pleasantly warm evening: "There doesn't seem to be a temperature."

5-1-19
Me, talking about a math assignment: "How did you get that answer?"
Kalina: You know, I just added the way people do when they're supposed to be subtracting.

5-11-19
Naomi, wanting popcorn because Matt and I were having some after her bedtime: "Waaahhh! You and Daddy always have popcorn without me!"
Me: "Naomi, you'll have some soon, now I'm done talking about it"
Naomi: "Waaaahhh!"
Naomi, through her sobs, "Mommy, why did people grow victory gardens?" And then we proceeded to discuss the ins and outs of victory gardens and ration cards.

4-4-20
Naomi, quietly crying during a movie: "When everything turns out well it's always the end, but when everything turns out well is when it ought to keep going!"

4.22.20
Me: "What should we do for Earth Day?"
Kalina: "Put up a bat house!"
Naomi: "But then we might get coronavirus!"