Firsts for the second





The baby has had a busy couple of weeks. Not just because we're getting ready to move, or because her crawling skills have enabled her to cause mischief anywhere in the house not higher than three feet off the ground, but because she's been checking off milestones like I check off my grocery list. Let's begin with the tooth.

Life must just be a lot better for babies when there's not a tooth working its way through their gums. I remember with Kalina wondering how people knew when their child was teething, until they could feel the tooth, at least. But with Elise, I no longer wonder. Here are the signs:

1.) The baby cries, sucks her thumb and reaches up to be held all at the same time, every waking moment.
2.) The baby sleeps worse, whatever that means.
3.) The baby chews everything.
4.) The baby cries even while stuffing her mouth full of peaches, her favorite fruit, because it irritates her gums. And then cries for every other kind of food, too. And your high hopes of actually getting her to eat meat are dashed once again.
5.) The baby seems happy for a grand total of 30 minutes a day. For Daddy.
6.) The baby does better after the, "Hmm, nothing else works so maybe this will help!" dose of ibuprofen.

Elise got her first tooth a week or so ago. She returned to her usual forecast of "sunshine" the next day. She got her next tooth yesterday. And was sunny again today. I'm told there will be more.

Fortunately, Elise's mouth isn't all trouble. In fact, we're pretty sure she's been saying "Mama," and not just by chance. It usually happens when she's teething, or something equally tragic, and she needs me to make it all better. In fact, I don't think we've yet had the type of "Mama" that implies, "I just cleaned up after myself at the table!" or even, "Look, I'm playing with a toy that's not forbidden for once!" No, in fact the word is almost always accompanied by sobs. "Fix it, Mama!" Nevertheless, I will take it, and chalk it up to her first word.

I believe it's been a week or two since Elise first started clapping, but I was trying to teach her sign language at the same time and it could've instead been her attempt at signing "more." Which would make sense, because it seems that the first few times it happened, she was eating some sort of fruit or other deliciousness. But she also may have just been applauding, "Yay, I love peaches!" or something to that effect.

In the past couple days, however, the baby has clapped for at least one of her own accomplishments (possibly her peekaboo prowress, or taking a bite of chicken, but I regrettably don't remember exactly) and I believe even one of Kalina's, following my lead. She's most likely to clap with fists than open palms, but she does make contact and is quite cute.

And finally, Elise took her first step this afternoon, and another this evening! Hooray, Elise!

The bad news is that Little Miss Spaghetti Legs is nowhere near ready to walk. Even fully supported by my helping hands, the baby often does little more than flop her way around the house. But that's not to say she's not improving--she is, and she's practicing a lot, too. Her progression has been a bit unconventional, however. Here's how it's gone:

1. Pushing into a fully balanced standing position from the floor.
2. Standing next to a piece of furniture, letting go and balancing.
3. Walking floppily, but proudly, with lots of help.
4. Attempting to walk up stairs with help, but with me making her crawl instead because it just doesn't seem right.
5. Jumping with no help whatsoever (just mini jumps, but they count!), and without falling over afterward. On command, no less.
6. Taking a shaky, but real, step toward Mommy, unsupported, to show me a cool new toy.
7. Doing it again, perfectly balanced, without even falling into my arms afterward. But not taking another one.

I'm left a bit puzzled as to how and when Elise will be following her big sister around the house on foot, but I would imagine the baby will get her land legs not by doing laps with Mommy, but by treating each step as an individual and focusing on quality rather than quantity. One thing's for sure: the baby has a really good sense of balance.

I have, by the way, wondered if I'd get as excited about Elise's firsts as I have for Kalina's. Yes, I do. Not only is each of them different from her older sister's (walking couldn't possibly be more different, in fact), but Elise just beams with pride each time she does something new. Except, possibly, pop a new tooth in. In those cases, she's smiling with relief--as are the rest of us.

Kalina and friends: the first three years



Kalina and Edward held hands all the
way from the park to the car!



Not long ago, whenever I asked Kalina who her best friends were, she would inevitably choose something furry and stuffed: various cats and farm animals, especially. Usually a group of animals, as they don't generally like to be separated. Sometimes Aunt Nancy.

But a few short months later, Kalina has effectively expanded her circle. She now cites Elise as her best friend (aw!) and can actually name a few unrelated humans, and their mommies, who she actually enjoys on occasion. Getting excited to see them, even, instead of cowering in fear.



Goofing around with Evan



And soon, we will move 800+ miles away from them. The end.

*sigh*

But when better for a tribute to Kalina's playmates? From Kalina's first few months of keeping us up at night to the big-girl bed transition (just a few weeks ago), they mercifully handed prized stuffed animals back to my sobbing girl, graciously shared snacks with her and were always happy to receive her cuddles (once again, only in recent months/weeks).

 

With Miah and Ms. Jaya on their
second Halloween



In the beginning, Kalina's friends were the babies she was introduced to far too early to care much either way, and climbed over to reach toys or Mommy. Occasionally they'd glance at each other during stroller walks and covet each others' snacks, which were easily shared.

Then, the Kalina we've known for most of her life emerged. Other kids were to be feared, whether they were half her age or twice it. Even now, more often than not, the approach or presence of another child from an activity Kalina is pursuing is enough to stop her in her tracks and send her straight back to Mommy. Particularly friendly children may have thought her rude, but we all know she's not--just petrified. Most have been oblivious to her flight, just as they would be to her presence.



Honorary member of the boys'
playgroup.



For this reason, the kids Kalina has felt comfortable with have been those who, for all intents and purposes, ignore and avoid her. She's always tolerated those kinds of kids--the ones who pay no attention as she sits on the sidelines and laughs at their antics, or does her own thing as well.

But throughout this time, Kalina's friends of choice have still been of the furry and stuffed variety. After all, what's a playdate with an armful of cats? Which does not, by the way, help her navigate playdates, and particularly ones in public places, as unnoticed as she would hope. Instead she's spent a good portion of her time running away in tears as another child toddles curiously after her in pursuit of her cargo. Like swimming in a shark tank while desperately clutching a raw steak. We've solved this by allowing her to keep her animals in the car or my diaper bag, but, again, what's a pladate without your best friends? Poor Kalina and her sweet little conundrum.

Climbing with Tierney

And this brings us to a couple months ago, when I actually witnessed, on several occasions, Kalina holding hands and/or hugging other children. Unbribed. She's eagerly awaited playdates of late, and run to greet her friends when we arrived. She's engaged in games of tag and run barefoot on a certain "tickle bridge" with them. She's even told jokes to total strangers, most of whom, being kids themselves, didn't understand what was so funny about having a pretend bird poop on their heads (I laughed). And little Kalina has even consented, at least once that I remember, to share one or more of her kittens. It all nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Peyton, the neighbor boy

We've known many of Kalina's friends since sometime in her very first year, so Kalina has, understandably, built up a bit of a history with each. And as baby/toddler/preschooler relationships go, each friendship has had its ups and downs. Some offer her cupcakes one time and then push her down another. Some inspire her to run loose and have fun, but intimidate her by actually trying to carry on a well-meant conversation. Some engage her imagination with stories she loves, but may have even been indimidated by her at times. Some have shared her love of animals, taken her by the hand to show her their cool toys, or amused her by the silly things they inevitably say and do. All have made her smile, laugh, cry, and grow into the lovely little girl she is. And all will be greatly missed--by me, too.

And now I realize that my shy sweetie is actually a "people person" at heart. She truly loves people--even those approximately her own age. When she gets to know them, that is, which can take a good two to three years. But once you're in Kalina's "inner circle," you never leave--no matter how far away we live.

Elise thought it was
hilarious that Kalina took
the giraffe for a "walk"

[Worth mentioning: The nature of Kalina and Elise's friendship is another thing entirely. While Kalina is happy to declare, "I love my baby!" she also would at times rather we left the baby outside while Mommy, Daddy, and Kalina played inside (even if she crawls into the street and gets hit by a car), sell her with the house when we move, use her as a vaccuum cleaner and let her fall off the bed (in the latter instance, "Kalina loves Elise so much, she wants her to fall off the bed and go to the hospital!") Elise on the other hand so far has only had positive feelings toward Kalina, except for once when she really just didn't want to have her hand held by her big sister right then.]

Sweet Elise

I think I remember the exact moment that Elise turned into a picky eater. Or at least, the moment when I realized she was doomed.

It was a typical mother-of-two instance, when, desperate for a snack that might actually satisfy both girls in body and in spirit, I reached for a large box of Multi-Grain Cheerios I was looking to clear out before our move. As they were stale, and I am human, I fed them to my children (who theoretically shouldn't care about stale food since they should be too young to know the difference, and besides, I would hate for them to be as picky as I was as a kid) instead of dutifully downing them myself.

They both loved the little O's, as I figured they would--gorging themselves and asking for more as I congratulated myself on a win-win-win situation. I went so far as to give the box a permanent place on our kitchen table for a few days, replacing the cheery yellow box of plain Cheerios.



A particularly delicious meal
a few months ago, when
Elise would both eat anything
and smear anything on her
face. (She still smears.)



That is, until I scrutinized the nutrition information (undoubtedly looking for more reasons to congratulate myself, such as a particularly high protein or iron content). Six grams of sugar in one serving?!? Surely not! In a perfectionist-mommy horror-movie scenario, I dove for the multi-grain box and whisked it away, hiding it in the pantry once more and hoping against hope that out of sight would, indeed, mean out of mind.

With great remorse, I reflected that what should've been a special treat for Kalina (as is anything with more than a couple grams of sugar) I'd given by the handful to my poor baby! My dreams of feeding the baby broccoli for breakfast and snacks, as I'd been able to with Kalina, shattered in front of my eyes. Stakes were now raised. Everything must taste as good as Multi-Grain Cheerios from now on.
Overdramatic? Probably. Silly? Most definitely. Wrong? Seemingly not. Elise's tastebuds have tasted sugar--more than the one gram found in Cheerios, anyway--and apparently are ruined for life. Understandably, the only thing that can compare is a nice, juicy, ripe, peeled and chopped soft fruit.
Before this incident, it seemed that my only problem at feeding times was that I couldn't shovel the food in fast enough. The baby probably would've eaten all day long if I'd had the time/patience.

Now, every bite is met with suspicion and all-too-keen discernment. Is this a fruit or veggie I particularly enjoy, or will I get something better if I spit it out? What's the sweetness ratio? And most of all, is Mommy trying to hide broccoli in it? [Side note: why is this healthiest of vegetables also one of the strongest tasting?] Entire bowls of carefully prepared purees are rejected and even finger foods are raged at if they're not juicy and sweet. And sometimes, even them.

"I've tasted a little bit of heaven," my baby informs me. "And I will no longer stand for anything less." I have only given her the good stuff once, by the way, since the original spree, and in its absence, Elise demands fruit.

This is all complicated by the slow, painful emergence of Tooth #1. Heaven forbid Elise ever grow molars. What's more, Elise often seems to prefer to fill up on water than on food. This light fare is hardly conducive to sleeping through the night (nor is teething).

Not that it's bad to be a fruititarian, and especially in the summer when I can buy all manner of berries, mangoes, apricots, plums, etc., without leaving an arm and a leg behind in the grocery store (both of which I desperately need these days). It's just that occasionally babies need things like protein and iron to grow. Plus, Big Sister is boycotting almost all fruit, especially fresh, so this means I'm constantly making two completely different meals whenever it's time to eat. Both will happily devour cherries, which take forever to pit and turn my fingers purple for days. But I digress.

My predicament has forced me to be more creative with what I serve. Will Elise eat chicken if it's mixed in with twice as much applesauce? Sure: a few bites. How about blackberries mixed with yogurt? Sure: a few bites. A Gerber jar of squash? Absolutely! Mommy's cooked and pureed green beans? Not so much.

Anything Elise rejects, by the way, gets frantically waved away by both arms, so that trying to shovel the food into her mouth creates a scenario somewhat reminiscent of the windmill hole of a mini-golf course. Entire spoonfulls of food are occasionally grabbed, with the contents flung across the room.

But while we'll likely have problems in the candy aisle of the grocery store and may need to scrub Elise's teeth extra well as she gets older, there are worse things than enjoying sweets. After all, in Elise's case, there's no doubt she is what she eats.

Anatomy of a happy baby

Elise just loves to explore new
places. So why not this one?

Sometimes it seems as though raising a baby happens through a series of "ifs." That may sound like:

"If the baby would sleep through the night, we'd all be happier."

"If the baby would eat more protein, she'd sleep through the night."

"If the baby would've slept better, she wouldn't be nearly so fussy."

"If the baby would just play with her fuzzy octopus toy a little longer, I could get everything I need at the store."

"If the baby would keep the adorable hat on her head, I could get the cutest picture!"

"If the baby would just hold still and not try to sit up throug the duration of her diaper change, it would be over that much quicker."

"If the baby could hold a snack cup in her hand and eat out of it, our impending 13-hour drive won't stretch into a 30-hour drive."

A baby in a tutu suit with a pool all
to herself (for 2 minutes, anyway).
Life is good.

And so forth. It's a lot of pressure to be a baby, but fortunately, Elise seems oblivious to the fact. She also doesn't know that all of our "ifs" are for the high-minded goal of a happy baby, or a happy family. Or both.

Elise has been from the beginning a quite happy baby, when she's well-rested and well-fed and not falling down from one adventure or another, that is. Nevertheless, we often have our "ifs," usually in the theme of sleeping, because that really does effect everything else.

Except for a few days ago--possibly the most perfect two days I've ever spent with a baby (no offense, Kalina). After a two-hour morning nap, Elise emerged not only happy, but chronically thrilled for the next 48 hours. As parents, we could do no wrong: every toy we showed her was deemed incredible, every game was ingenious and simply making eye contact garnered chortles of glee. Even when we left the room to throw in a load of laundry (tough to pull ourselves away, considering how magnetic Elise was), the baby patiently entertained herself until we returned, and held no grudge against us for our momentary absence. We were all on cloud nine.

Celebrating Grandpa's
birthday! Blurry because
this baby is always on the
move.

I'll admit that I thought it would never end. In the playgroup circles, anything difficult about our kids is considered "just a phase," while only the best behavior reflects their true, cherubic personalities. Based on this explanation, Elise had simply come through whatever "tough time" she had been negotiating and could now be her sweet, bubbly, ecstatic self.

For two days, and then it was back to business as usual, which, fortunately, generally means dealing with a baby who only cries for diaper changes, food, missing toys and the want of sleep.

But since I've experienced the joys of "baby nirvana," I thought I'd clue you all in on what a delight a happy baby can be, from head to toe:

Hair: Soft and slightly tousled from sleeping on it wet. It's cutest this way, and so is included in our "happy baby" sketch.

Eyes: Bright and smiling and locked with yours. Alternatively, studious as the baby carefully examines a sparkly ball, a plastic giraffe or even a single wooden block--happy babies really are content with anything.

Nose: Button-like and dry.

Mouth: Smiling. Giggling. Stuffed with toy. Blowing raspberries. Repeat.

Arms: Waving frantically up and down with excitement. At you.

Tummy: Round and full and tickly.

Thighs: Squishy.

Legs: Kicking approval at being picked up, or working on mobility.

Toes: Cute and bare.

Now, please remind me of this post next time I fret about Elise's sleep habits (which are slowly improving now that we've officially given up!) or her random strong attachments to forbidden objects (like lamps or batteries).

What Elise has been up to:

Elise continues to enjoy to explore the world, and loves to try out new places. She enjoys meeting new people, and especially "daddies," for some reason. The baby can make a wide variety of new sounds, mostly clicks and pops and gurgles, and isn't quite as quick to put things in her mouth as she once was. Elise still eats voraciously, devouring fruit and tolerating the occasional other food item. In my opinion, however, she's a bit picky considering her gigantic appetite. "I want to be composed entirely of fruit," she seems to say. Sleep is a bit better, and we're generally down to one feeding a night without any trying, as Elise catches on to any of our soothing techniques far too soon for them to be of any use. More about that in another post, no doubt. This baby certainly has an opinion, and is not quick to back down. Her saving grace is that she's also a quick learner and can get the hang of things like, "no, I may not take this half-full bottle to bed, nor can I bring a shoelace or a noisy egg shaker toy" rather easily--even willingly giving them up when I hand her her teddy bear.

Elise can now:

-Get into a standing position from the floor and stand up straight even while flipping through a board book. She was never a "now I'm holding onto the couch and now I'm not" freestander, she preferred the "surfboard" style of working on her balance from the ground up. And she's great at it, by the way.

-Crawl up onto Kalina's stepstool and stand up at the sink. (Instant heart attach the one, and only one, time I found her this way--fortunately I was only two feet away, having only turned my back for a second.) Also, climb onto Kalina's picnic table. Yikes.

-Shovel half a chopped-up banana into her mouth in less than the amount of time it takes me to find the Cheerios box.

-Take a few steps, holding onto my hands, when super-motivated (has only happened once).

-Get complete strangers to stop in their tracks, smile and talk baby talk to her several times in one grocery store trip. She can also, apparently, apprehend a purse clasp from one such stranger and stuff it into her mouth without anyone knowing, sucking on it until Mommy finally sees it and removes it later in the car. Or at least, that's my best guess at what happened. Could've also been from the checkout lane.

-Pay attention to short books.

What a happy baby!

Celebrating 3: Part 2

Kalina is firmly three years old, and has just about recovered from all the activity surrounding her achievement of the age. Happy birthday, Sweetie!

On the girl's actual birthday, she awoke a bit pensive, perhaps reflecting on her achievements in the past year. During Elise's morning nap, I volunteered to do whatever she wanted, and she chose fingerpainting. After a mere 10 minutes shmearing blue, green, orange and purple gook around (it all makes brown!) until the paper became quite soggy, she was finished and we cleaned up in the sink. This led to 45 minutes of intense suds play, during which my arms and hands got thoroughly washed several times, but I also got the floors swept because she was so engrossed that she didn't really seem to care if I stuck around.

We then attended our usual Tuesday playdate with Kalina's bestie, Edward and treated ourselves to frozen yogurt. The afternoon was spent playing comfortably with Grandpa, and Kalina gorged herself on bacon and pancakes for supper. We did sing Happy Birthday one more time, and we opened presents throughout the day. It was nice for all!

The next day was happily spent playing with various presents and making real lemonade just like Maisy does in the book Kalina received. Sometimes I think the day after the birthday is more fun than the actual birthday.

Yay, Kalina's three!

And because this post doesn't really have much to it, I thought we'd take a look back at the past year. It all began with a cat party.

Two in Review:

-Kalina discovered her love for chocolate. I didn't realize how important it was to me that she enjoy chocolate until it was confirmed by her unbiased preference for "brown" ice cream, etc. Whew!
-She was exposed to adventures from tricycling to canoeing to having Mommy leave for several nights on a business trip and giving birth. We learned that Kalina's not much for adventures, but can handle them if she absolutely has to.

-She discovered that being a "big girl" means anything from getting to watch cat videos on YouTube to helping with household chores.

-Kalina overcame her fear of babies (for the most part), ants, driving over train tracks, and lint, among other things.

-She declared her first non-animal, non-relative best friend.

-She started to "talk to the animals" on her own rather than demanding we create endless scenarios for them (Mommy TV). And they're hilariously creative, by the way!
In addition, Kalina began to:
-Color in the lines
-Ask poignant questions
-Make up her own songs and sing them all the time. (Side note: What will I do when life isn't narrated by song anymore?)
-Lighten my load by climbing in and out of her carseat just as I was almost too pregnant to help her, getting her own milk cup from the fridge and putting on her own shoes and take them off immediately upon entering the house after tiptoeing to her spot on the stairs so she doesn't get my floors dirty.
-Skip naps
-Watch TV
-Hop
-Reach light switches
-Play with a doll, a little bit

But some things haven't changed:
-Kalina's still firmly a Mommy's girl!
-She's still fascinated by balloons, trucks (fascinated, yet afraid) and cows
-She still likes to dance, even when there's no music
-Her favorite hobbies are still baking and crafts
-And perhaps most striking, Kalina still loves cats and all things furry, provided they're pretend or at least on a leash

And that's my big girl! Despite all the fun we had at Two, I know Three will be just as wonderful.