Coping with a pregnant wife

Poor Matt. He's not so much into writing in this blog, so I'll attempt to do the best I can to fill you in on how his life is changing.

First is Matt's reaction to his pregnant wife. Probably the best way to illustrate how his life has changed is through the list of brand-new rules he has to follow:

1. Don't ask too many questions. Ask exactly the right number, and only the right questions. If you don't get the answer you want, don't ask again. It's best to avoid most questions other than "how are you feeling?" and "is the baby kicking?" Even then, timing is everything. To be safe, just don't ask questions.

2. Keep the stairs cleared of debris even though your wife will keep loading them up (we have a landing that makes a great location for purses, coats, laptop bags, etc.). This is to ensure she doesn't slip and fall again as she did around week 12. As a side note, she slipped because her socks were too new and slippery, not because there was debris. And she's fine. [editor's note: Matt made up this rule himself. It's very sweet of him.]

3. For the following questions, the only acceptable answer is yes: Would you like to feel the baby kick? Want to have some ice-cream with me? Can I have another back rub? Will you please take out the garbage?

4. When your wife goes crazy, pretend she's not. But you can't let her know that you're just pretending, and in fact, should instead convince her she's being entirely rational.

5. Never, ever try to take any kind of food away from the pregnant wife unless she specifically offers. All sharing generally goes in the other direction (husband to wife), unless it's 1) vegetables; 2) meat.

6. Assuring your wife she looks "cute" pregnant, but certainly not fat: see Appendix A

Fortunately, Matt is doing extremely well with the rules, and seems to have caught on to some of them even before I did. He doesn't seem to mind them one bit, but perhaps that's a rule I have yet to discover. He did once ask me if I knew where the garbage can was outside. No, Hon, I don't.

In a future post, we'll take a look at how Matt's dealing with the fact that he's about to be a dad. I think this will be a good one for after he's spent a bright, shiny Saturday during the crappie spawn assembling a crib with his crazy pregnant wife "helping."

A silly idea that might just work

Most of you are probably going to think I'm crazy, and I'm okay with that. But you'll find out sooner or later, so I'll go ahead and tell you now: we're planning to cloth diaper Baby Girl.

I'll let the initial shock wear off.

We have lots of reasons (one of them being that it's a way for me to shop while actually saving us money!), and I won't get into all of them now. The picture is my very first diaper--isn't it adorable? The inside is fleece, and it has 3 different size settings adjusted with snaps.

Some of you are going to leave now, but to the rest, I'll explain my cloth diapering strategy. It may bore you, but it's actually helping me to get it all down on e-paper.

There are several different types of cloth diapers nowadays, and hundreds of options within each. I'll try to break it down for you:

The one above is a pocket diaper. The outside is waterproof, the inside is absorbent and the miracle worker is called an insert, which you stuff into a flap (or pocket) inside. Very easy to use. Major pros: adjustable absorbency. Major cons: inserts can be expensive, and you have to stuff before you use.

There are also all-in-ones. These are like a pocket diaper, except with no pocket. Instead, the absorbent material is sewn in as part of the diaper. Even easier to use. Major pros: Ultra easy, probably the trimmest fitting. Major cons: Take a long time to dry, not as adjustable.

And finally, there are prefolds and covers. A prefold is just an absorbent piece of cloth you fold, and then put a cover over. Covers are, of course, waterproof. Major pros: Very cheap, adjustable. Major cons: Potentially more of a hassle, potentially bulky, potentially a bit leaky.

I plan to begin with a mix. I've read the reviews and found a few brands I want to try. Many are designed by work-at-home-moms, and seeing as I plan to be one, I like to support them.

I'll order about 5 pockets total, including the one above. Three of these will be one-size-fits-all diapers, so they'll grow with Baby Girl. The others are sized, but some parents are lucky enough to get by only buying smalls and mediums before potty training, and since Baby will be perfect, I'm confident we'll be this lucky.

I'm also planning to order 4 all-in-ones. There are a couple I've seen excellent reviews for (some even promise to dry fast!) and all are known for being both trim and absorbent.

I wasn't initially going to try prefolds, but after spending lots of time on message boards and review sites, it seems like they'll be worth a shot. I'll get about a dozen prefolds and 3-4 covers, which don't have to be washed after every use--only if they get dirty (which isn't as often as you'd think, apparently). The added benefit of prefolds is that they can be used as inserts for pockets, burp rags, spill rags, car-washing rags, snake-cage-cleaning rags, etc., and are only about $1.50 each.

I'll use the prefolds/covers mainly during the day when we're just around the house. Pockets and all-in-ones will be for going out, babysitters and the diaper bag (along with a few disposables). Overnight, I'll probably see how pockets work. And once I figure out what brands and styles I like best, I'll stock up a bit more.

Some of you who are still left might be wondering about laundry. Me too, actually! I've heard it's not bad, and especially since I'll only be working part-time and from home, I'm optimistic that I'll be able to take on the extra work. I'll try to end up with enough diapers that I only have to wash once every 3 days, and until then I'll use disposables as needed. Yes, diapers do come clean! I won't bore you with the details, but there are lots of great methods.

And some may be wondering about leaks. Well, not only will Baby keep her excrement to a minimum (remember, she's perfect!), but I've made sure that each cloth diaper or cover I order has lots of reviews that rave about how leak-proof they are.

Also, until Baby Girl is about 8 pounds (and able to fit into smalls), we'll just use disposable diapers. Assuming she isn't 8+ pounds at birth--yikes.

So there you have it! If you have questions, I'd be glad to answer them. Without ever using them myself, I feel like something of an expert. I'm sure that will change once I have a squirming baby. But wait, Baby Girl certainly won't squirm!

A day in the life of Baby O.

Baby Girl is at a really cool point in her pre-birth development. She's got fingers, toes, a little bit of hair, ears, some decent muscles--essentially, everything she needs to have a good time. What's more, she's not so big yet that she has no room to move around. So the little over-acheiver is making us proud and taking full advantage of her space.

Baby Girl starts her day with about 15 minutes of aerobics. Must be from Matt's side of the family, because you certainly couldn't get me to wake up to aerobics. A bit sluggish at first, she warms up and gets in a pretty good workout for such a tender time of the morning. Still working on getting my eyelids to cooperate, I'm always surprised and impressed at her energy.

Once she and I are fully awake, she takes a nap.

She may wake a bit from her nap mid-morning but, like our cats, isn't very mobile at this time of the day. She pursues quiet activities such as reading, knitting and learning to breathe. If I forget she's in there, she's usually kind enough to give a little tap.

Every hour or so throughout the morning, Baby Girl demands a snack. And anything less than 100 calories barely counts. We usually eat roughly around 8:00, 10:00, 11:00 and 12:00 before we start her afternoon snacking schedule. If she is not fed within about 10 minutes of her initial request, she admittedly throws a little tantrum. We're working on it.

Mid-afternoon she's again on her feet and moving around. Her schedule varies. Some days she takes a trampolining lesson, jumping off my spine and into my stomach, and back again. Other days she continues to enjoy sedentary pursuits that are still a bit more active than her morning ones, such as gardening or light housecleaning. Snacking continues, as does the occasional nap.

In the evenings, when she's not riding horseback, she likes to rearrange her furniture. She may also practice rollerskating and jump-roping--her interests are quite diverse.

Baby Girl then puts up possibly the biggest fuss of the day when it's time to go to bed. Sleep is for mid-morning, apparently, not for nighttime! Fortunately, she tires out and falls asleep eventually. Or maybe that's just me?

Maternity "fashion", or "I spent my maternity clothes budget on cute baby bedding"

What am I wearing these days?

My strategy is simple:
1. Quit going to work (this was decided for me--I'm working from home full-time)
2. Don't care what anyone thinks
3. Don't care if I wear the same thing every single day
4. Gladly welcome loans (thanks, girls!)
5. Follow rule #2, but keep my integrity
6. At least a couple times, be the stereotypical "cute pregnant woman," just because it's fun
7. Shop smart
8. Find a great pair of jeans

Let's start with #8, my favorite. Have I told you all how much I love my jeans? I have two pair, but one stands out. They're comfy. They're stretchy. They look like jeans I'd wear if I weren't pregnant. They go with anything. The elastic waist doesn't go anywhere near my shrinking bladder. They don't make me feel fat. They should last me throughout the pregnancy. I won't mind returning to them after delivery while I get rid of my belly. They didn't cost an arm and a leg. And there are more where they came from, should I need an emergency replacement. Best of all, they're there for me when I most need them. When no other jeans in my closet fit, they did. Can you ask anything more of a pair of jeans? In case you're pregnant (or not!) and wondering, Motherhood Maternity Super Stretch Boot-Cut. Love 'em.

7. With the exception of my jeans (worth every penny!), I can proudly say I've gotten all my maternity clothes on sale, some deeply discounted ($34 capris for $3.40!). I also bought only the bare minimum of wintry stuff because I knew I wouldn't be wearing it before spring. And I bought versatile clothing--shirts that can be worn in almost any season, for instance.

6. As a side note, I'm hoping that I'll actually have enough belly to be the stereotypical "cute pregnant woman" before I give birth. Would it be wrong of me to buy a fake pregnant belly to wear under cute clothes?

5. For the most part, even though I'm working from home I refuse to dress sloppier than I would if I weren't pregnant. This would change if I got another head cold, in which case my non-maternity comfy gray sweatpants would possibly surpass the aforementioned maternity jeans as my favorite legwear. I reserve the right to change this rule, by the way, when I look and feel like a cow.

4. They've found a good temporary home, and I'm gentle-washing, line-drying everything. I truly value the variety they've given me!

3. When your entire in-season maternity wardrobe can fit on a handful of hangers, you don't have many options. I secretly like it better this way.

2. Tired of my maternity jeans? Think that all my shirts look the same? Tough!!! If you'd like to take on even just my heartburn and indigestion, I will buy myself some new clothes.

1. This wonderful situation contributes to everything else.

But enough about me. Isn't Baby Girl going to look cute in her new lamb-and-bunny bedding? :)

A case of the grumpies

Poor Matt.

I've heard that, on average, men change moods about 6 times a day. Non-pregnant women change moods about 30.

Pregnant women, however, are moody for two now. I would imagine (um...or I know...) that in women pregnant with baby girls the effect increases even more. Thirty plus thirty, after all, does equal sixty.

I think Matt would agree (unless any of you have heard something different! :) ) that my mood changes generally alternate between happy, happier, happy, a bit less happy, happy most of the day. At least, pre-pregnancy they did.

Now, however, I have days when my moods would need a Richter scale to truly understand their magnitude. So, poor Matt.

But wait, have we factored in pregnancy insomnia, which has lately brought on lots of tossing and turning in the early morning hours (please, please, please don't anyone remind me that this is the most sleep I'll ever get until the child is in college--I've heard)? And what about the nausea that still catches up to me in the evenings? And the general stress of monitoring everything that could and will affect Baby K? And the fact that I only have about 15 weeks left of only having to worry about myself (and Matt and the cats occasionally)?

Is it any wonder that my moods aren't bright and shiny every second of the day?

And if you're wondering, I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS!!!

Okay, calm down. I'm posting this because it's only fair to be honest about all the effects of pregnancy--not just the fun ones like baby kicks and the lovely things I get to eat.

Really, everything's fine. I think we all miss the old Mary (especially poor Matt, who is bearing up extremely well), but hopefully Baby Girl will be cute enough to make up for my shortcomings. Either that, or she and I will have a good cry together.

I only look small. (Doctor visit post!)

Yesterday evening when Matt and I were taking our usual walk, our neighbor kindly told me I actually look pregnant. Whether he was making it up or not, I was thrilled--could it be I finally have a real, pregnant-looking belly? By the way, I'm about 5 1/2 months along and you can only see my bump if I'm wearing the right shirt (it's invisible under anything bulky).

Not that I want to be huge right now, but I really wouldn't mind if just one stranger asked me when I'm due!

Really, I have to admit that it's convenient being small. I can easily tie my own shoes, fit through doorways, sleep and walk--all of which are very nice things to be able to do.

But today at the doctor's office I was a bit nervous about my relatively small size, so the doctor kindly pulled out a measuring tape to measure me. I'm right on schedule--neither big nor small! If my belly just looks like it needs a few situps to get it back into shape and everything's fine with Baby Girl, where exactly is she? Perhaps I'm growing up rather than out? Do I look taller than normal?

The doctor assured me I'll get bigger before I get smaller, so I'm not worried. Just curious.

And poor Matt. He learned early on that I want to have a belly and I won't accuse him of calling me fat if he tells me I have one (I know he was mentally wrestling with that for a while). But that doesn't mean he should have to reassure me daily! He's coping well under the pressure.

The rest of the doctor's appointment, by the way, went well. It was a routine weight/blood pressure/heartbeat check, and I passed all three with flying colors and a quick warning that if I'm not careful at this stage of pregnancy, I could gain 8 pounds in a matter of days. I was warned that the greatest risk of flying home for the baby shower in a few weeks was the array of tempting foods I'd be subjected to. I heartily agreed and left it at that.

Can't wait--I have to get a belly somehow.

Growl, munch, growl

As I was about halfway through a cup of strawberry-kiwi yogurt a few minutes ago, the strangest thing happened. My stomach growled. And I don't mean it complained a little bit--this was a regular roar. I think it woke the cats up.

And then it hit me--wait a second, I'm sitting here EATING for goodness sake, and my stomach is telling me I'm hungry! What in the world??? This would never happen pre-pregnancy.

It has actually happened before during my pregnancy when I was eating carrot sticks, but I really didn't think yogurt would let me down.

Baby Girl must be enjoying 3rd breakfast along with me. Fortunately, it's almost time for lunch.

P.S.--No, not all my posts will be about food, but I guarantee this won't be the last one.
P.P.S.--I've just finished the yogurt. My stomach is still begging for more.

I miss my brain--sort of

I experienced it before I even knew what it was, or why I had it. This malady has caused me to forget deadlines, names and why I entered a room. The trouble is pregnancy brain, and I'm one among many sufferers.

For me, it has a bit more to do with lag time than outright forgetfulness. Yes, I'll remember the deadline--as I'm brushing my teeth the night it's 3 days overdue. I'll even remember why I entered the room--in my car a week later.

The upside is that pregnancy brain allows me to live in a state of ignorant bliss. Did I leave the stove burner on? It's delightfully the farthest thing from my mind. Have I missed a meeting? I don't care because I haven't thought about it in days! Pregnancy brain allows me to remain stupidly happy.

Another thing to note is that once I do remember, it's usually in a time and place that allows me to do absolutely nothing to remedy the situation. So once I've mused over the thing I've forgotten for a few minutes, it congenially wanders away into the depths of my mind, to be retrieved again only if I'm lucky or startled into reality.

Of course, I've wondered occasionally what causes pregnancy brain. Well, the only thing that's changed since the days I could easily navigate deadlines, meetings, social activities and dinner without so much as a day planner is Baby Girl. She's growing and developing as we speak. And I think she's eating my brain.

The girl is going to be a smart one, because she seems to be eating as much of it as she possibly can. I hope she enjoys it, because I sure did.

Do I want my brain back? I guess so. There are two reasons I don't. The first is my peaceful state of ignorance. No longer do I worry about to-do lists--what I don't know doesn't hurt me, right? I love worrying less. The second is that it makes a wonderful excuse. I forgot to get the brochure copy written? Haha! Silly me! Pregnancy brain! And everybody else just laughs with me. We're all having a great time.

Overall, though, the vague sense of unease that comes over me at times when I know I must be forgetting something does make me miss my brain. After all, I don't really want to return home from the grocery store to a house in ashes thanks to my forgetfulness. So yes, I'll be glad when I can reclaim it. But yes, I'll also miss my cheerful oblivion.

The take-away message is that if I owe you money, a phone call or a book I borrowed a long time ago, you might want to speak up. Chances are I'll remember--but not until long after you're aggravated with me. I will be, as always, blissfully unaware.