Kalina at 4

Let's begin by saying that I love 3. The kitten escapades, the endless curiosity and the penchant for stories all come to mind. Learning how to do "big girl" things, showing true depth of thought and empathy, and making up songs about anything and everything. And the cute things Kalina says, and thinks, and how wonderfully little she still is. Can't she be 3 forever?

But she can't, and 4 has pleasantly surprised me by being 3, but even more so. So far, we enjoy even more complex kitten escapades, Kalina artwork that sometimes makes sense (but it's okay if it doesn't, too), invented words, silly jokes, and truly original thinking. Logic, a sense of order, and patience are all lovely traits, too.

Uncle Alan and Autn Diane visited!

During her threes, Kalina went from purely shy to jubilantly friendly, and from often frustrated to an increasingly able problem solver. She's attuned to herself--her feelings and needs--beyond her years and  openly apologizes for wrongs better than many adults. She can now actively play with other kids--and actively play without anyone. Animal caretaking is still a top priority, yet she recently left the house without an animal friend and survived--even thrived--for about the first time since she could walk.

Still sugar-sweet, Kalina cheers me up, and Elise, and Daddy, and random strangers in the grocery store, I'm quite confident. She makes me think about things I've never thought about before (and not just, "Is God allowed to run through traffic?") She's ever-loyal, and honest.

What's a cat party without matching
cat outfits?

The girl who never wanted to bother with numbers can count past 100, frequently cites a trillion, and adds a little bit. She writes her name (albeit never left to right), draws balloons, houseboats and mouse kennels, and holds rhythm better than many elementary-schoolers according to a music teacher friend of mine. She dances her own, lovely version of ballet to classical music, and teaches Elise how to do cool things like that, too. Kalina can find and name all states where friends and family members live. And she can read (a little) and spell (inventively, but well). She knows how to raise plants and baby kittens, almost always asks permission, and never runs into the street. She recently learned how to pump herself pretty high in the swing, which also required overcoming her fear of swinging high.

No, she's not the perfect person. But Kalina is nothing short of amazing.

The party table!

As you would probably guess, Kalina decided to have a kitten party to celebrate her new age. Actually, it was going to be a kitten/lamb/bunny party, but we simplified lest I have to track down party paraphernalia representing three different species. Would she rather do something special with her family? No. Would she rather go someplace fun? No. A kitten party we would have. I couldn't have been more excited.

In years past, our house has been too small for parties of almost any kind--especially with kids around. Not the case, this year. I excitedly typed, "cat party" into Google. After seeing too many pictures of cats in party hats, I changed my search to, "cat birthday party." Even worse. But...by adding "kids," I soon accessed a wealth of ideas--even improved upon since our previous cat party when Kalina turned 2.

What's not to love about
chocolate kittens?

It took only a nanosecond for me to decide we'd be providing each guest with a small (cheap) stuffed kitten at the party. After all, Kalina, who's very fond of her friends, would like nothing more than to play "kittens" with them--and offering them a free cat might be the only way to convince them to even come close to sharing her enthusiasm. After all, four-year-olds ask far too many questions to simply humor someone.

After much deliberating, I involved Kalina in almost all of the planning and preparations. She made the final decisions on which stuffed kittens to buy, she helped bake the cupcakes, and she went to the store with me to pick up balloons. After all, that's half the fun. She was pleasantly surprised, however, to see her cupcakes decorated like kittens when she awoke on birthday party morning.

I'll admit that poor Kalina was a bit confused as to when, exactly, she'd be turning 4. "Now am I 4?" she'd ask throughout the day. In truth, Matt and I hadn't quite decided--should we officially celebrate over the weekend, when he's around, or on her real birthday, two days before we were heading out of town on a giant trip? In the end, I couldn't lie to my child. So we'll end up celebrating "birthday week," hopefully to culminate in frozen yogurt at exactly 3:45 on Thursday, followed by one or two presents and any cards she receives in the mail.

But nothing could be more festive than a kitten party, in Kalina's opinion, anyway, so Saturday morning was the highest of highs. She and Elise wandered around with armfuls of balloons while Matt and I frantically put the finishing touches on the decorations, food and craft activities.

Molly, Madeline, Elise, Kalina
playing at the vet's office.

Kalina could hardly wait to welcome her guests. Soon, six small girls (including Kalina and Elise; it ended up being a small party--and we don't actually know any boys Kalina's age, by the way) were darting around the family room. That's when I brought in the kittens, in a basket.

Both of my girls had known for at least a week or two that they would be getting a kitten at Kalina's party (which Elise thought was her party, too, for her birthday, too, but no one really minded). They dove in, and the other girls followed.

Then we made beaded collars for them, complete with name tags (Kalina named her kitten Emily, and Elise named hers Meow). And kitten carriers, with stickers. The kittens all visited the vet (Kalina's had a broken leg that veterinarian Madeline mended) and the bathtub. Soon, they were in tip-top shape, and it was all pretty adorable. Elise, by the way, was an active participant in everything--from directing Grandpa in the exact specifications of her sticker-adorned cat carrier to scrubbing her kitten in the tub. I think she thinks she's 4, too.

Molly, Kalina, Madeline, Juliette.

 The kitten cupcakes were a hit, Elise sang along, in her own little way, to "Happy Birthday," and each candle was extinguished with minimal spittle. The party was perhaps quieter than some, but fun nonetheless. Kalina loved it.

The next day, after a visit from Uncle Alan and Aunt Diane, we opened family birthday presents with Kalina. We hadn't accounted for how zonked the child would be from all the activity, nor how quickly she would dive in. What resulted was that all the presents were unwrapped at record speed, and that she was really too tired to play with most of them.

However, that didn't stop her from wanting to have Daddy set up her brand new BIKE!

It was with great confidence that Kalina informed us she was ready for a big girl bike--after months of trike practice. After all, the neighbor girl, age 4, has one. And it was with a healthy measure of doubt that we actually decided to give her one for her birthday. This was followed up by extreme terror on my part as we took her for her first ride, later in the day. 

Kalina saddled up (she calls her seat the saddle--and please don't anyone tell her differently) and pushed off, apparently not knowing that she might tip over, and if she did, there would be blood. And then, with only a little help from Daddy going up a hill, she rode! A bike! All by herself! And liked it! (With training wheels, of course.)

Elise and I followed on the toddler's "new" big-girl trike as Matt walked along beside Kalina--hanging on nearly tight enough for my taste. I was glad Kalina couldn't see my face and only heard, "Wow, Kalina, all that trike practice really paid off!" rather than my silent shrieks as she pedaled too close to the curb or went a bit faster than was comfortable for me.

We worked on braking, with Matt carefully letting her approach parked vehicles while patiently (too patiently?) reminding her to brake, helping her figure out how to steer a little but not a lot, and catching her when she would've fallen over otherwise (yikes!). He cautioned her against coasting down a large hill all by herself. 

Presents!

Kalina made it all the way around the block and would've gone further if she hadn't been hot and tired. Her kitten had fun, too, in the handlebar bag.

Elise has started to insist I not push her on the trike--but before she gets anywhere with that, will have to learn to pedal. Little Meow also had fun.

Continuing on with birthday week, Kalina tried her bike again Wednesday night. We made it a couple hundred feet in tiny increments before we all walked home. Whew, for a second, I barely recognized Kalina--glad she's back!

Guess what's in the big box!

Birthday morning dawned sunny and sweet. It took Kalina a little prompting to remember the occasion, but that didn't stop her from milking it the rest of the day ("I can flush twice, Mommy, it's my birthday!" "We should have three stories, it's my birthday!"). But it was all said with a smile, and that's pretty much all I ask on a birthday. Within limits, of course.

What did Kalina want to do for her big day? Stay home and craft. With temps of 108 degree anticipated, that was fine by me. While the birthday probably wasn't the most exciting ever, that's exactly what we needed. Vacation was two days away, and we'd already had our fill of busy-ness for the week/month/season.

Elise made sure the Hello Kitty
plates were in the picture.

So we crafted. We mixed clay, and we made a pom-pom caterpillar. We also did a puzzle, ate a picnic snack in the yard, took Kalina's new umbrella for a run in the sprinkler, pretended to be squirrels gathering nuts, and whatnot, interspersed with some cleaning and other chores that needed doing before the trip. We had fish sticks for lunch, and I let Kalina get up from her "downtime" early and watch a little TV.

Then Grandpa arrived, and the true festivities began. We headed out for frozen yogurt (and to get keys made for our upcoming trip), and then back home for more low-key playtime. When Daddy got home, we opened cards and the two remaining presents.

Me, my birthday girl, and her fawn.

I'm not sure for how many birthdays I'll be getting Kalina stuffed animals, but it's become clear that a new "friend" is a sure way to light up the girl's day. We already have a million, and she plays with them all, so what's one more? At 4, she's the proud owner of a new little fawn that she named Lilac. She's in love, and this little deer, which she's essentially been asking for for a year or so, rivals the bike as the favorite present.

We had hot dogs for dinner, of course, followed by leftover kitten cupcakes (they went over as well the second time as the first).

And then we did read two stories for bedtime, and the second one twice. After all, you only turn 4 once--we have to make it special.

Happy birthday Kalina! We love you and thank God for you every day!

Camp and Mommy Camp

My big girl won't be wearing
that shirt much longer!

Kalina loved her year of preschool! Yay! And now she gets to attend a week of summer camp at the same place with the same teacher and some of the same kids! Double yay!

Kalina was excited, too, until the first morning arrived. "I don't want to go to camp," she moaned into her Grape Nuts. Yet I coaxed her into the car, promising preschool-like adventures (by which I meant quiet crafting and stories) and awesome snacks (like a cookie).

But when we walked into her old preschool classroom, it all looked different. And to my sensitive child, different, at this point, was not okay. She burst into tears when I suggested I'd leave, ramping up her reaction until she was the hysterical child her teacher had never guessed was behind that sweet smile, and I was the unprepared parent, virtually powerless to stop the storm short of giving up and lugging her home (or following her home, as she was pretty much already on her way).

At Grant's Farm with my
friend Allison, who came
for a visit, much to my
girls' delight!

Elise, by the way, was delighted to be heading to camp (although not so much when she thought I was going to leave). She dug into the first-day activities with gusto, oblivious to the fact that she was the littlest "camper" in the room. And so "Mommy Camp" was born.


My original plan was to grocery shop, clean and spend quality time with my littlest while my oldest crafted, sang and explored to her heart's content. Instead, Elise and I played for three solid hours in the busy kids' museum (we were both really over-stimulated afterwards) while checking in with our emotional roller coaster whenever it seemed like it would help. A mom friend of mine, whose child, also at camp and super-attached but not nearly so loud, helped spy on my girl so I wouldn't upset the apple cart by sticking my nose into the classroom at the wrong time. Despite the fact that my nerves were shot by the end, Kalina managed to complete Day 1 of camp and Elise and I got the quality time we'd been hoping for. However, Kalina let me know she was done with camp and would just stay home tomorrow.

Allison, Julie (and her baby) and I,
all friends from high school.

So, what to do about days 2-5? Should I force it? Isn't camp supposed to be fun? Wouldn't we all be happier if we wrote it off as a loss and hoped for better days ahead with preschool this fall? Everything from, "It's good for her," to, "But we already paid for it!" ran through my head. Still, I have to admit that Matt was the main motivation for me to keep going, and as he has a desk job, it became my job to be Kalina's motivation. At which I failed, miserably.

However, Daddy did rescue Monday night in a stroke of sheer brilliance by reminding Kalina she only had four days left of camp. "But I will miss camp!" wailed the reverse psychology victim herself. And she resolved to march herself right in the door the next morning and push me out. Thanks, Daddy!

On Tuesday, Kalina darted off for camp and I, hardly able to believe my eyes, carted Elise out the door for our second day of Mommy Camp. We began at a shady park that wasn't too hot yet, and split a peach waffle to make it festive (yes, the park was selling waffles). After all, she was at camp. Back at home, I hauled some old favorite toys up from the basement and Elise happily strew them across the family room as I accomplished a sizable amount of housework.

Orange, purple and blue popsicle
tongues, respectively.

It was a good day for Kalina at camp: despite some self-proclaimed ups and downs, she got to play in the vet clinic, and she made a pumpkin from an orange and named it Leaf. Nevertheless, she wouldn't be returning the next day. Or so she told me. We ignored the issue in favor of having a pleasant afternoon: continuing on the summer fun theme, we devoured some popsicles and ran through the sprinkler.

Day 3 of camp, Wednesday, was our all-time low. Fueled by an indecisive mommy, Kalina's anxiety reached an all-time high. As did mine. Once the eyebrow-raising  kicking and screaming were over, Kalina managed to have a blast "growing" snow, pretend ice-skating and making a marshmallow snowman. After delightedly growing her own snow at home, she informed me she wouldn't go to camp any more.

My cousin and his family came for
a visit, at Grandpa's house!

Mommy camp was tainted by my pounding heart (camp is not for the weak), but Elise and I managed to have a nice enough time at another park, the farmer's market and cleaning the bathrooms (which she enjoyed so much that she even refused to go play in the "forbidden" realm of her sister's room). By this point, while Elise had gotten used to the routine of dropping Kalina off at camp every morning, she missed her sister and asked for her all the time: "This would be much more fun if Kalina were here!" Usually I agreed--but not while cleaning bathrooms.

On Day 4 eve, after some discussion, Matt and I decided to keep going with camp. Clearly Kalina was having some fun, and clearly she had some anxiety issues to overcome.

And on Day 4 morning, I used my best assertive voice to put the kabosh on any thought of skipping camp, or whining about it, for that matter.

Enjoying watermelon with
cousin Anna
(matching shoes!)

And do you know what? It worked! Kalina readied herself for camp in record time, and held off the tears until we had arrived. Once she'd been pulled away in a hug by her teacher, she thoroughly enjoyed herself.

Elise and I did too! We vacuumed the upstairs in time for a trip to "Tot Time" at the local pool. Elise loves everything to do with water: pouring it, drinking it, bathing in it, wading in it--you name it. Plus, it'd been hot all week. And after 15 minutes of sunscreening, we were ready. We arrived at the kids' pool about when the clouds did, and shivered through 20-ish minutes of playtime before warming up the blueish toddler in a towel and diving in for a little more. Elise splashed with her hands and feet, practiced swimming until Mommy was too tired of being stooped over holding her to continue, and waded up to her chest. She wasn't thrilled to leave, but quieted on the promise that we'd bring Kalina with us sometime soon.

Elise's new friend, cousin Mary.

We dashed home to change and then picked up our cheerful Kalina. Who insisted that she would definitely not go back to camp the next day.

On Day 5, Kalina's anxiety again got the better of her, but she cheered up quickly after we dropped her off (according to her teacher). Meanwhile, Elise and I headed out to a park playdate with a few girls roughly her age, and then to pick up gift cards for Kalina's camp teachers for all their extra effort this week on my daughter's behalf. The teachers really appreciated them.

After it was all over, Kalina greatly missed camp. But would she go back again if given the choice? She'd much rather attend Mommy Camp with Elise--and Elise was thrilled to hear it! 

Visiting Aunt Nancy

Vacation frozen yogurt!

We miss Aunt Nancy! Time for a trip to Durham. Here's how it went:

The decision of who should go visit Aunt Nancy was a big one. Cost, time commitment and each family member's ability to sleep and roll with the punches of traveling were all factored into the decision limit the trip to myself and Kalina. We couldn't wait!

We wanted to thoroughly discuss every minutiae of the trip before the time came to leave, but we couldn't: Elise got jealous whenever she heard she wouldn't be included. So Kalina and I quietly planned and packed and then waved a cheerful goodbye as we headed out the door, only nine small stuffed animals tagging along (or 10, if you include the stuffed kitten Kalina had picked out as a new-baby gift for a friend).

All smiles before the plane
left the ground, but the
kitten was a bit nervous.

Before I tell you about the rest of the adventure, I should mention that Elise relished the attention of both Daddy and Grandpa while we were gone, and that she was even still potty trained when we returned. No toddlers were ignored in the duration of this trip, and in fact, they were probably a bit spoiled. (No more so than Kalina and I!)

Grandpa dropped Kalina and I off at the airport curb, where we spent a full five minutes (it felt like) helping Kalina figure out how to wheel her little purple fuzzy suitcase behind her, and me how to haul the carseat on my rollerbag. Good thing we weren't walking to North Carolina. We soon got the hang of it--Kalina was an expert by trip's end--and navigated the various airport lines and inconveniences with no trouble. Soon, we were on the plane.

We loved Aunt Nancy's new
house!

Kalina immediately wanted to be buckled in, and then her nerves and excitement prompted her to ask, "Are we in the air yet?" or, "Are we lifting off?" as we sat on the ground and wheeled around the airport for the next 20-ish minutes. Once aloft, we went through a cloud, looked down on the clouds, and scoffed at the people who might be getting rained on while we had the brilliant idea to be above the clouds. Kalina even saw muffins in the clouds. We also saw fields and rivers before shutting the window--apparently, being several thousand feet up is a bit intimidating for a 3-year-old. I resisted making her switch seats so that I, at least, could gaze out, and instead read stories.

Soon, we were offered the first of many treats of the trip: orange juice, pretzels and cookies, plus M&Ms just to sweeten the deal (and just in case we needed bribes to keep the seatbelt buckled--after all, the skies are not very friendly after all). Life was good.

Kalina knows dogs love bones! She
picked out this bone toy for Poky.

Then came the turbulence, and Kalina decided she was done flying. Sorry, kiddo. It ended soon enough, and then we were on the ground. Ironically, Kalina decided that landing was her favorite part, bumps and all (I hate landing, personally).

We were thrilled to see Aunt Nancy, and thrilled to be back in our old stomping grounds. However, they would have to wait until tomorrow to be explored: first, was a tour of Aunt Nancy's new house, and then bedtime in the cozy little blanket-bed nook set up just for Kalina, complete with a "sleep hippo" friend. To help her sleep, the girl decided, or in case her animals needed help sleeping.

The truck behind "truck park!"

Sleep hippo success: the next morning, I had to wake Kalina for our 10 a.m. park playdate. Time zone shift aside, clearly this was a big trip for my little girl. But she was elated to grab some special Honey Nut Cheerios out of Aunt Nancy's cupboard and head off to her favorite "truck park."

When we arrived, our friends Katy, Ian, Evan and Ben were already there. Kalina took off at a run--toward the truck. Then toward Evan. Then the truck. Then Evan. And finally, the truck won. It's a pretty cool truck. Eventually, the reunion happened and Kalina, while taking comfort in the fact that her old friend was around, pretty much ignored everyone as she played. Mommy thoroughly enjoyed catching up.

Poor little sick doggie.

Next, we picked up Aunt Nancy for pizza. Kalina's not a big fan, but we managed to convince her to tag along, anyway--and she settled into a big bowl of pasta. Then a Target trip, but not a "boring" one, as Kalina told Aunt Nancy: we needed a few things for the beach the next day: namely, sunscreen and an umbrella, plus a few extras because, after all, we're on vacation. Afterward, we decided frozen yogurt would be a good idea, lest anyone forget we're on vacation. And finally, back to Aunt Nancy's house for some much-needed low-key playtime.

Aunt Nancy's toybox is well-stocked, plus Kalina had aged into one of my and Nancy's favorite old games. What's more, there were presents! For Aunt Nancy's dogs from us, and for Kalina, whose birthday is at the end of the month. Kalina opened her pretend vet office set and book about doggy Biscuit, who sees the vet, and immediately set out to curing every animal in sight.

Even the mommies had fun!

Our dinner plans included a park, a picnic and a bunch of old friends: what could be better? The evening was gorgeous and the company was wonderful--Kalina and I both had a great time. Afterward, Aunt Nancy read Kalina's bedtime story as I headed out to an old favorite cake place with friends for more catching up, and realized how much I miss North Carolina.

Second generation friendships!

The next morning dawned bright and beautiful, and could not have been a nicer day for a beach trip. The 2-hour drive passed like nothing, the parking spaces were plentiful, the dead cat on the walk to the pier was only "sleeping," and by 10:15 we were set up and digging our feet into the sand.

Sweetest girl on the beach.

Or wallowing in it, in the case of the 3-year-old. So much so, that we soon decided our tentative itinerary of heading down to the aquarium later and crossing an inlet on a ferry would be downright cruel, and we instead determined to keep to the beach.

It's hard to tell what Kalina liked most: picking up every shell that caught her eye (many of which now have a home in our sandbox), endlessly filling and emptying her bucket, or jumping the (little) waves with the help of her two adults. The only disappointment was that Aunt Nancy never did manage to catch a minnow for her. However, we can't complain: we spotted one (and only one) dolphin surfacing through the waves, an older girl obligingly showed us a little mole crab she'd caught, and from the pier we could see a lone jellyfish floating in the ocean.

Kalina loved watching the waves from
her perch beside Aunt Nancy!

 Also from the pier, which we sprang the $3.75 total to walk out on, we saw the waves breaking from above (I think Kalina could've watched all day had I not been a bit worried about replenishing her sunscreen), a few small fish that people had caught, and plenty of seabirds.

What's a beach trip without
ice cream?

Speaking of birds, Kalina caught even more attention than she already had (by being the cutest girl on the beach and wearing her pink tutu suit) by chasing and heckling them as she does the robins and garden-eating bunnies at home. "You bad birds!" I'm gratified to know is the worst thing she can think of to say, "Go away! Get away from here!" The seagulls, who were doing no harm, walked calmly away from the running, flailing, happy little girl, as the onlookers laughed.

Our parking meter ran out at 3 p.m., but it was 4 p.m. before any of us thought to check the time. Our perfect beach day remained unmarred as we somehow avoided a fine, but that didn't change the fact that it was time for us to pack up. Kalina sadly said goodbye to the ocean, while I vowed we'd get back, somehow.

Kalina avoided sunburn entirely, and I only turned a little red on my shoulders. Aunt Nancy's splotchy back proved an example of, "Look, Kalina, here's what happens when you don't wear sunscreen!" (Oops! but Aunt Nancy was only too happy to help protect Kalina's skin.)

The next morning, Kalina and I both stirred early:
Me, whispering: Kalina, are you awake?
Kalina, whispering: No.
One of us continued to doze, while the other gave up the battle. A bit later, we were both on our way to see our friends: Sarah, Stephen, newly 4-year-old Edward and baby Marie.

Edward and Kalina, while outwardly an unlikely pair, had been something like best friends when we lived in Durham. He was into light bulbs, batteries and circuits while she's more into animals, but both could anthropomorphize anything and enjoyed developing elaborate stories and worlds. Not necessarily together, though--I think what the liked best about each other was the fact that could play near each other in companionable quietness, as neither possessed the toddler impulses for hitting, hugging, or stealing from other kids. Needless to say, I was excited to watch the reunion of these two, as they'd known each other since they were about 6 months old.

Kalina and friends.

Kalina was all grins and the occasional hug, and Edward chattered about baby lightbulbs riding in a firetruck when we met. And then the kids picked up right where they'd left off: happy to play in the same vicinity. We soon headed out to a park and were joined by Katy, Evan and Ben, and did typical park stuff the rest of the morning. Kalina and Evan at one point pretended to be spiders, and Kalina and Edward sat beside each other on a little ledge. With Kalina becoming relatively social among her girl friends here in St. Louis, I was surprised more of that didn't show with her old companions. But after all, they are boys.

On the way back from the park with a wilted Kalina, I suggested stopping to see one more friend or potentially heading out to a restaurant with Aunt Nancy, but both were vehemently opposed. As soon as she set foot in Aunt Nancy's house, Kalina put herself down for downtime without lunch or a story, and rested/played for a solid 45 minutes on her own.


Finally, after some more playtime it was time to board the airplane, albeit reluctantly, for home. And would you believe it? Now we miss Aunt Nancy even more! I guess we'll have to go back sometime.


P.S. Happy birthday, Uncle Brian!