Spring has sprung! And so have we! (Also: The Elise's Easter Kitten, and a Baby Bulletin)

We did not try to coordinate
colors, but I think we go
well together nonetheless!

Spring! It's not only a season, it's an action, and especially around our house. While the weather has continued to fluctuate through April, we've finally been able to peek outside, leave our cozy little den and frolic in the sunshine. And three of us are pretty cute frolickers.

There's something about great weather that makes kids want to PLAY, so it's always fun to send them out for the first particularly nice day we've had in several months of not-nice days. First, they run. And run, and run--around in circles, up and down hills, back and forth. All that pent-up energy finally has an outlet. Then, they rediscover all of the things they loved three months ago, except now the kids are three months older, so they love them in a different way. Then they go searching for bugs, worms and other treasures, creating new habitats for the poor critters. Because what worm doesn't want a handful of grass dumped on it?

At Grandpa's with a pet worm.

In fact, worms have been the star players this spring--every container becomes a home for these "pets." Elise, in particular, can play with her pet worms for hours--long past their animation has ceased. They get rides down the slide, they get transferred to the sandbox, they get carried around in shovels. And their only crime was to have been in the wrong mud at the wrong time. Kalina enjoys digging, and we have given her a spot in the yard to do so (which meshes nicely with Elise's worm-caretaking hobby).

Now that she doesn't have to face a cold wind, Naomi loves being outside--either with a birds-eye view (to her) from the Baby Bjorn, which utterly delights her, or being carried around to various trees, bushes, stones and other textures as she learns about nature in her own baby way. She also loves to dig in the grass, and would enjoy the opportunity to sample a leaf if only Mommy would allow her or turn her back for just a minute.

If babies could sneer... "Fine, Grandpa
can hold me. But I don't have to like it."
We're pretty sure you'll change your
mind when you experience his awesome
story-reading skills, Naomi!

One of the best moments of spring, when you're young, is the first time you go outside in shorts, or even a short-sleeved shirt. Now that you're more aerodynamic, you can run faster and longer! It's a very freeing feeling.

To this end, we went on our first "big-girl" mall shopping trip and found a few new clothes for each girl (with the emphasis on Kalina since so many of Kalina's clothes are finding their way to Elise's closet). We also found matching outfits for all the girls for spring, and more for fall (for $2.99 a piece since they were on sale!), and about a million dollars in American Girl products that we want. It was lots of fun, especially once I decided not to get annoyed by the fact that no one wanted the chicken strips they'd ordered for a special lunch out, because they're not just like McDonald's.

Of course, it wouldn't be spring without Easter. And we saw the Easter Bunny! Kalina preferred to stand back with Mommy and just smile and wave at the giant furry creature, but Elise soon became best friends with it. The rabbit doesn't talk, but it can wave, dance, hug, give high-fives, etc. Elise happily did all those, and then the bunny gave her an Easter egg from his basket. She cracked it open to find a dollar inside!! Enough to buy two of the tiny rubber sea animals she loves so dearly. I found it interesting that even the chance of receiving a week's worth of allowance wasn't enough to tempt Kalina to approach the giant bunny.

Each girl came up with her own Easter
craft project, and they are both amazing.
Kalina's was a soft, cottony lamb!

Elise made an egg with bunny
ears and chick feet and a tail
and lots of other random things.

Back at home, Elise spent the next two weeks preparing a goody
bag for the Easter Bunny to take with him after he visited our house on Easter Eve. She also decided that she wants to be the Easter Bunny, coloring several pictures and acting out several scenes to that effect. Which makes sense: anything involving sharing candy and jumping would be right up Elise's alley.

We also read the Easter story a dozen different ways, completed Easter crafts in preschool and out, asked every day in really excited voices if it was Easter yet and played with Easter decorations. In this way, we passed the time until Uncle Tom arrived with his girlfriend, Marla and her 4 1/2-year-old daughter, Lenorea!

Egg dying! And can you believe we
have a group picture where everyone
is smiling? Seems impossible!

As you can imagine, the kids were instant friends, but to ensure a bond, we dove into egg dying right away. Kalina immediately set up an egg-dying operation, with eggs plunked into each color of dye within reach, while Lenorea and Elise nicely shared the purple dye and worked with one egg at a time. The difference a year (or two) makes! Kalina also for the first time followed in Uncle Tom's footsteps and managed a couple beautiful multi-colored eggs. Elise was fascinated by the robin's-egg blue ones in addition to her usual purple.

The weather was beautiful all weekend, so we spent as much of it outside as we possibly could. I think the girls found hundreds of Easter eggs, all told. They'd each chosen their own dress this year (with the exception of Naomi, who wore the cutest one that fit, of which there were about two since she's so miniature). Elise in her purple and Kalina in her "golden" orange dress both felt like pretty princesses. And they were!

Easter loot!

And of course, the Easter Bunny made his visit, as evidenced by the appearance of three treat-filled baskets hidden throughout the house. Everybody received stuffed animals this year: a lamb for Naomi, a kitten for Elise and a green and pink unicorn for Kalina. Plus candy for the bigger girls. Naomi was also excited about the Easter grass in her basket, but Mommy managed to whisk it away before it ended up too far into Naomi's mouth while she wasn't looking.

Good thing it was raining,
or this picture wouldn't
be quite as cute!

Naomi had no trouble helping
this Easter egg find its way
to her mouth.

Post-Easter, we visited the Botanical Garden, which smelled as beautiful as it looked. We were in fairyland, and even the garden caretaker whose job it was to fish all the flower petals out of the fountains (that our girls were tossing in--oops!!) couldn't help but smile at the girls.

And although we're still shivering at times, we're hoping Spring is here to stay. Not too soon to be replaced by summer...




_____
The Story of the Easter Kitten

Mouth full of chocolate,
basket full of kitten, heart
full of happiness.

When Naomi reached a certain age and ability to be out of the house longer than 30 minutes, it became inevitable that I would need to take them all grocery shopping. At the same time. By myself. And actually buy more than milk, bread, eggs and the first decent-looking fruit I came to.

Sure enough, that day arrived. Knowing we could no longer fit in one of the racecar carts, I had a gentle, yet firm discussion with the big girls en route about how I'd need their help, how important it was to stay close to Mommy, and how they were not to grab things off the shelves. Things they already know. I don't remember whether I handed down only serious-sounding words in my best "I'm bigger than you but I'll be nice until you feel the need to change my mind," voice or set up consequences, but either way, the trip was mostly a smooth one. Possibly the fact that we hadn't done this (much) in a couple months helped.

Towards the end of the freezer section (which is always last, of course), Naomi started making the little "mmm...mmm..." noises that soon turn into "uuuhhhh...uuuhhhh..." that then become "Wahhhh...Wahhhh..." and finally settle on "AAAEEEEHHHH!!! AAAAAEEEEHHHHH!!!" until her situation changes drastically. I knew we were on borrowed time, but that was okay: we had picked up our bag of frozen peas (or whatever) and were headed for the finish line! I started propelling the heavy cart in that direction when it happened.

"Mommy, can we get this kitten?" My middle-born was holding up an adorable, soft, white stuffed kitten that I knew probably cost somewhere between $6 and $10. It came from one of the several stuffed animal racks that curse key locations throughout the store. It's always the same: "Mommy, can we get it?"

Unfortunately, unless allowance money has been hoarded long enough, the answer is no. No matter how cute the animal or the child. But the saying of "no" always takes several minutes of my precious time, and produces a grumpy child (and Mommy) to boot. I hate those fluffy racks.

Frantic to get to the checkout, weary beyond belief and sooo ready to be done, I uttered an unintelligible combination of, "blah-blah...your allowance...blah-blah...birthday...blah-blah...Christmas list." The three-year-old wasn't buying it, and rightly so. "But I don't get an allowance, and Kalina does, so I can't buy it myself!" she protested through frustrated tears.

Meanwhile Kalina, sensing my weakness, hurriedly searched the rack for an identical kitten or, failing that, any other stuffed animal she would tolerate bringing home, just in case Elise won the battle and she could piggyback on the success. She'd have a strong case, after all.

But she couldn't win. "Sorry, Honey, you have to put it back. Give it a nice pat and please put it away." I similarly quelled Kalina's bid for a new stuffed toy. Elise must have been as tired and grumpy as I was, though, because she cried as though her heart would break--very nearly breaking mine in the process. In fact, I'd been feeling guilty lately about the fact that Kalina owns most of the household's kittens even though Elise loves kittens dearly and often pretends to be one.

"Put the kitten back, we need to go," I informed the small girl. She sadly walked toward the display, then glanced at me, tucked the kitten under her arm and started walking toward the exit. I will forever in my mind be able to see the half-hopeful, half-rebellious look Elise gave me over her shoulder as she peeked back to check my reaction. Should I have given in??? I still wonder.

Instead I simply said, "Elise, you may not steal the kitten. They might call the police." Crushed, poor Elise slowly turned and wandered back to the display. With a final heartfelt sob, she put the kitten back and we finished our shopping. It was awful.

But then the kitten appeared in her Easter basket! A couple long months later, Elise is now the happy owner of her very own soft, white kitten. She hadn't mentioned the Dierberg's incident after the fact, but I recalled it to her as I "noticed" that the kitten kind of looked like the one at the grocery store. Her ecstatic reaction Easter morning was probably worth the misery of holding my ground earlier. Well, not really...I still would've liked to have given in.
_____

Happy and in her crib at the same time?
Is that possible?

The Baby Bulletin:

Naomi has her first tooth! It arrived on or around April 10, and partially explained why the previous week had been such a rough one (double ear infection plus new tooth? Mommy couldn't put her down for a second!). She has always enjoyed chewing, and now enjoys it even more. Kalina thinks it's great when Naomi bites on her finger. "I can feel her tooth!" I imagine she won't find it so magical for much longer.

Despite some (albeit inconsistent) sleep training, Naomi continues to refuse to make progress toward human sleep patterns. She might actually be nocturnal. Mommy is not nocturnal. We've officially given up much hope of improvement for at least another month or two, seeing as Kalina and Elise didn't sleep through until at least 9 or 10 months, and they were actually better sleepers than this one. Why? WHY? WHY??? I have been rereading the old blogs rather wistfully lately. We will keep trying, but will stock her crib with encyclopedias, puzzles and a tiny violin so that she can at least use her nighttime awake time wisely down the road.

Look, I have a furry toy, too!

Naomi can now pivot, roll and inch, so that about a four-foot radius around her is up for grabs, literally. Kalina takes this in stride, but Elise freaks out. In all fairness, it seems that Elise is often as much concerned for the baby's safety as she is about getting drool all over her possessions.

I've long suspected that Naomi is sensitive to overstimulation. Although we're (begrudgingly) done with all forms of swaddling, this is showing up in other ways. Does the baby make it through 1 1/2 hours at the mall, benignly taking in the sights, without a peep? Does she have a fabulous time during an hour or so of Baby Bjorn-ing on the golf course (our evening roaming grounds on nice nights)? Does she consent to being put down on the floor while Mommy walks into a different room while spending a couple hours at a friend's house? Yes to all three--but the return home has brought floods of tears, near-panic attacks and veritable hissy fits. Is it a "thing?" Can the baby only handle so much of a new environment at a time, only to fall apart from the new experience as she attempts to process it all? Will she ever be able to travel and if so, will she require four suitcases so she can completely surround herself with familiar objects? Only time will tell.

___
Kalina!

I realize I haven't blogged much about Kalina lately. Making up for lost time with the other two, maybe? Nevertheless, there's lots to say about her growing independence and her newfound ability to actually read. But I might save that for another blog...

Elise's sleep journey: Part 3



I think this is my first-ever picture of a
sleeping baby. My general rule is that
you don't jeopardize what you work so
hard to achieve.

 Sometimes it seems to me that of all my friends, I'm the most neurotic about my kids' sleep--and yet my babies are among the very worst sleepers of the bunch (not so with my toddler!).

I've even had friends tell me they use me as an example to other friends to let them know "it could be worse--you could be Mary!" followed by a rendition of my latest horror story. I don't mind--if I could brighten someone's outlook with my sleep-deprived state of suffering, I'll be happy to.

I do find it ironic that I'm approached for advice on a regular basis, being "the one who knows about sleep," but yet have failed so miserably with my own very young children who, apparently, have pored over none of the sleep books that I have.

When I last wrote about Elise's sleep (in the post entitled Yummy, Delicious Sleep, which was actually the second part of Elise's sleep journey), she'd learned to suck her thumb as a method of self-soothing and was only waking up once or twice a night. As late as a week and a half ago, we'd both slept a glorious 5-hour stretch.

However, whether she's willing herself across portions of the rug to reach the really cool toy 6 inches away (she doesn't quite understand that she's not yet able to crawl, and won't let that stop her from achieving her goals) or screaming for the whole neighborhood to hear because I didn't quite get the bite of mushed mango into her mouth fast enough (I may have wanted to take a bite of my own dinner, for instance), Elise can be a persistent little bugger.

"But I liked seeing Mommy 5 times a night!" she began to insist. And to prove her point, she contracted a head cold so that I had no choice but to visit her.

As I dutifully trekked into Elise's room to settle my poor, hoarse baby, my only consolation was that "it has to get better when she's over her cold." It didn't.

Soon, Elise lost any ability to settle herself at nighttime, and naps were beginning to be endangered as well. I stumbled through my days, refusing to succomb completely to my exhaustion other than using it as an excuse to let the house go a bit. I ventured to the online sleep forums and was greeted with the sunny advice to either:

1.) Just get someone to watch the kids while I catch up on sleep during the day. (Anyone want to come over every day for 8 hours and cook dinner and get groceries and clean the floors while engaging both kids in age-aapropriate activities?)
2.) Put the baby down for naps every 2.75 hours after waking. She's clearly overtired. (She clearly wasn't.)

I also evaluated my personal notes showed that Elise seemed to be getting frustrated at waking up so often, and wide awake when I ventured into her room. Could it be that she wasn't really a fan of these night wakings anymore either? Maybe she wanted a change as much as I did.

Friends, who kindly told me that I didn't look at all the worse for wear started to talk about their success with sleep training. I took the hint. It was time for a little more cry-it-out.

I did have my limits. I insisted on relatively frequent checks, and I would not let the baby cry endlessly. And so we began, with me putting the baby down for bed and then heading out for dinner and a pep talk with a friend. Before I left, I made Matt promise in blood that he would check/comfort Elise regularly and call with updates on her situation.

Partway through dinner, the phone rang. Elise had quieted for a while, but just started crying again. A few minutes later, another phone call: Elise was definitely asleep!

And she mostly stayed that way, except during two nicely-space feeding intervals and until 6-ish in the morning. I have never been so happy to endure two night feedings.

But how would the daytime sleep go? I braced myself, but crying never came (except 30 seconds of sympathy crying when I was dragging a crying toddler out of the baby's room at the start of naptime). Nor did she cry when I put her down for bed last night. Was the worst of it over?

And then 9:30 rolled around and Elise popped awake. Awake she stayed for the next 50 minutes, followed by just enough sleep for me to almost drift off, followed by a couple more minutes of crying that left Matt and I wondering whether she had rolled into a quite awkward position.

The next person to wake up was me, at 3:30. I couldn't resist: I sneaked into Elise's room to check on my littlest. Who of course woke up, but not before I could ascertain that she had flipped onto her tummy and her little legs were sticking out the side of the crib.

And that was the position I found the baby in again at 5:40, when I again fed her so that that whole family wouldn't be up for the day pre-dawn. The must be something I'm missing about how snugly crib rails are.

At 7:13, I again found my newly formed tummy sleeper awake, and we happily started our day.

Naps, by the way, have been shorter now that Elise's night sleep is more consolidated. I will miss them, but I think my babies are simply unable to regularly get more than 13-ish hours a day after a certain age. And believe me, I try.

I'm pretty sure it's only going to get better from here--but I'm equally sure there will be a few more bumps in the road. Stay tuned to hear the rest.


 The story of the photos: I'm not usually blessed with the need to wake Elise from a nap, but it does happen. On this particular day, I mentioned to Kalina that in a few minutes we'd need to wake Elise up so we could head out to _____ (I forget). She disappeared up the stairs as I readied 2-3 snacks for Kalina, water for both of us, a meal for Elise complete with bib and spoon, and a million other little things. I figured the girl was collecting her cats to bring along.

Kalina came back down a few minutes later to inform me that Elise was awake. "That's strange," I thought. "The baby monitor is quiet." I attributed it to toddler error. "Yes, Kalina." I said, probably patronizingly. "We're headed up to wake the baby pretty soon. Should we go now?"

"Yes!" said the girl with a knowing smile. She lead me proudly up the stairs. I knew something was wrong when we came to Elise's room, which had lamplight streaming out of the open doorway. As my baby usually (read: always) sleeps behind a closed door in near-complete dark, my heart almost left my body as I wondered what other surprises Kalina had in store for me.

I think I laughed when I was greeted only by my sleeping baby! Somehow Elise can sleep through a toddler intrustion, but not a middle-of-the-night Mommy check. There was only one thing to do: I rushed downstairs to grab my camera and happily snapped away.

Elise did wake up moments later, and only appeared slightly confused--albeit not squinty-eyed--at all the activity in her room.

Yummy, delicious sleep

When a baby enters the world, she has four basic needs:

1.) Food

2.) Sleep

3.) Cuddling
4.) Lots of cute outfits and soft toys

The baby will continue to need these things her entire life, although they will change in substance as she grows and matures. For instance, in the future, the only milk Elise drinks may be in her double mocha espresso, with extra whipped cream. One day, she may be shutting out her light for the night mere hours before nowadays she's waking up. The family dog will likely get more hugs from her than I will, and her closet may at some point contain no pink whatsoever. Only time will tell.

In fact, this weekend it became apparent that Elise was ready to make a few shifts in several of these areas. Or, at least, we were ready for her to.

To our dismay, Matt and I had noticed a strikingly downward trend in Elise's overnight sleep. Hunger called at every hour, it seemed, and we were both exhausted. Especially me, as feeding the baby in a cold recliner at all hours is much less cozy than just going back to sleep in a soft, warm bed. (Although I recognize that Daddy's several screamy pacifier attempts were no fun, either.)

Most professional sources will tell you that solid food has nothing to do with a baby's sleep patterns, but every time I face extra night feedings, I disagree, desperate for any kind of "fix." That, and some new findings suggesting that early exposure to foods may help ward off allergies convinced me that 5 months was a great time to start Elise on solids. (She also responded favorably when I let her lick a banana I was eating a few days ago.)

Accordingly, I set up Elise's high chair (which Kalina gleefully noted is right next to her booster seat), mashed up a banana and carefully mixed up some free-sample formula to swirl in with the banana. I also found a fresh, new bib (none of Kalina's crusty hand-me-downs for Elise's first meal!) and chose a cute purple spoon. All set.

I did not let Kalina feed Elise, despite the older girl's request. I wanted to make sure things would go smoothly first.

With Daddy snapping away on the camera, I pulled Elise's mouth away from the high chair strap she was gnawing and set a bite of mushy banana on her tongue.

And I have never seen anyone make such a sad look of disgust as my baby did at that moment.

Seriously, child? You don't like banana? That's as good as it's going to get for a while, I'm afraid. You can have cake on your first birthday.

I tried again with an even squishier bite. Maybe she just didn't like the texture. Nope--the same look. And again--sometimes you have to try a food 10 times before the baby knows whether or not she likes it. Same result.

And that was the end of Elise's first feeding. In her defense, she was rather tired at the time.

I did, of course, try again this morning. I skipped the formula (it didn't mix well anyway) and put a miniature bite of banana on Elise's tongue. Utter disgust.

But...by about the 6th bite of banana, the baby only seemed a bit confused on what to do with the stuff (am I supposed to hold it in my mouth, send it down, or push it out?). And after that, she seemed to begin catch on to the whole concept, almost eating about 3 more bites before losing interest.

I think I'm glad we're starting relatively early. At this rate, Elise may be ready for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by the time she's packing a lunch for kindergarten.

Along with "big-girl food," as well told Kalina, it was time for Elise to embark on the first steps of "big-girl sleep." Essentially, sleep without the pacifier and swaddle (which she has been struggling out of some nights, anyway, raising plenty of worried eyebrows in our household). This would not be easy for any of us, I imagined.

The first night was rough for a while, and then Elise learned to suck her thumb and we've all had a lot more sleep since then. The end.

Epilogue:

Elise now talks to herself a bit and then just fusses just a bit each night before she falls asleep, thumb in mouth, I assume. She still wakes up once or twice to eat, plus once or twice to settle herself, which has never taken too long and is sometimes instantaneous and always gets some reassurance from Daddy if needed. Tiring? Not at all, compared to previous nights when she had to be settled 10+ times.

After a particularly disastrous nap, we've decided to allow Elise the swaddle and paci for naptimes and hope it doesn't confuse her. So far, it hasn't.

Mommy reports getting 7 hours of sleep total last night, and Daddy may have gotten a nice 5-hour stretch, and then some. Everyone slept until 7:00 this morning. And they lived happily ever after, or at least until the next sleep crisis.

Photos:

1. I just love baby profiles. Don't you? (And I'm letting Elise play with one of Kalina's toys during Kalina's one nap of the week--don't tell Kalina or she'll never nap again!)

2. The highchair strap tastes better than banana.

3. Giving it her best shot.

4. A mere shadow of Elise's look of disgust. Note that she prefers wearing the food on her chin to eating it.

Elise's sleep journey: Part 1

Every child is special. And so is every child's sleep. As most of you know by now, we're fairly obsessed with sleep here at the Odegaard household: possibly because we all do so much better when we get enough.

We're all (even Kalina) on a quest to help Elise get the best, most quantificous sleep possible. Here's a summary of the first step in her journey, as designated by the fact that I have the time to write this now.

When Elise was born, after all the ooohing and aaahhing, I began to eye the girl a bit suspiciously. After all, she was a newborn: not only are they notoriously rocky sleepers (asleep in the daytime, awake at night), but they all vary, just like bigger people do.

Just as some newborns grow up to be successful biologists or writers while other less fortunate newborns grow up to be clowns and politicians, some newborns are the rave of their mommies' blogs and Facebook statuses for their lengthy naps and nighttimes, while others' sleep habits are only bemoaned in the same venues.

How would Elise and I get along? I wondered. I'm positive we'll find some things in common (already have: we both enjoy a well-placed window), but until then, will be both be sleeping? Or not?

When anticipating this new baby, I counted on the fact that newbors sleep a lot during the day. I pictured playing with Kalina, helping my older child not feel quite so displaced in her new family, while Elise dozed happily by our sides despite tumbling blocks and toddler shrieks of delight. If this wasn't the case, I had no further strategies: all hope would be lost.

And true to newborn form, Elise slept just fine for the first couple weeks--even nighttimes weren't too bad. I breathed a sigh of relief and focused all my energy in smoothing sisterly relations while Elise dozed in her swing. But I knew from experience that teaching a baby to sleep after the first month is about as difficult as instructing a baby in the fine art of French cooking, so I sent Matt to the library and he came home with armfuls of our old favorite sleep books (and some new ones).

Elise's sleep deteriorated as I read up on ideal waketimes and newborn brain mechanisms, and by the time I felt the slightest bit equipped, I needed all the help I could get. Our philosophy of "she's a newborn, she'll sleep when she needs to," had been fun, but it had also produced a wildly overtired baby who wasn't sleeping much more than our toddler. Trouble. Fortunately, help was on the way.

The Baby Whisperer's book had struck a chord with me. A combination of no-nonsense and a soft heart who advocates understanding your baby, the author offered some concrete techniques for getting a good night--and day--of sleep. Perhaps I was thinking a bit too wistfully, but I also liked her promise that, if I timed put-down correctly, I could simply hold my baby swaddled in a dark room for five minutes, put the baby in the crib, and walk confidently away, anticipating that not only would the baby fall asleep on her own, but she would stay asleep for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Sign me up!

My initial problem was that, although I only skimmed certain sections of the Baby Whisperer's book, I never saw her mention what to do if you have a toddler trying to scale the side of your baby's crib while you put the baby down in it. Fortunately, after a week or so of trailing behind me into Elise's room, Kalina has decided that she has better things to do with her time while I put the baby down for endless naps. She also rarely attends diaper changes anymore.

I began first thing in the morning, having already noticed that Elise likes nothing better than a good nap almost exactly an hour after waking up. This is also convenient for me, as I can deal with the toddler whirlwind of: "Kalina wants a hardboiled egg to eat on the picnic table. Read a book. The cat is stuck behind the chair and Kalina can't get the cat out! Potty," without having to drag Elise through all of it, poor girl.

I followed instructions to the T, walking confidently away after I'd laid Elise in her crib. Then, at Elise's beckoning, I came back and put the pacifier back in her mouth about a million times, probably, and I might have rocked her a bit (to make sure she's drowsy), and finally she fell asleep. For 20 minutes.

What do you even do with a baby who only sleeps 20 minutes? Or 30? Or 5? First-time moms on the message boards I occasionally visit dreamily talked about holding their baby for all naps. Meanwhile, I did loads of laundry, kept the house clean-ish, baked and freelanced while managing a toddler, too. It's a world of difference.

I repeated the nap routine (sometimes resorting to the swing or carseat when nothing was working) through the next day, and the next, and the next until it seemed that most of my time was spent in a dark room, and I'd blink whenever I saw sunlight. As you can imagine, the addition of darkness to my repeated failure did nothing to improve my frustration. Sometimes the baby would sleep an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, and sometimes not at all, despite hours of trying.

The sleep books told me to put her down earlier: I did. A small part of my brain told me to put her down later: I did. I put her down full and swaddled, I let her fuss a bit, or sat there holding the pacifier in. I ignored the Baby Whisperer and drove her around in the car. I rocked her until my arms were about to fall off. I ran up and down the stairs as I tended to her needs and the toddler's needs at the same time. I spent entire days focusing on naps while Matt and Kalina went out and had all kinds of fun. You name it, I tried it. I could not force the baby to sleep.

It wouldn't have grieved me so much had I hadn't seen Elise's frustration as well: here was a baby who wanted to nap, but couldn't, whether I helped her or left her alone, put her down early or late, etc.! What was I doing wrong? Why can I do all the right things and still not have a napping baby, while other people do nothing and have excellent sleepers? Poor Matt got very tired of having his deer hunting conversations interrupted as I bemoaned Elise's poor sleep. It was officially an obsession.

And then I gave myself a break, and went back to having an overtired baby, and reaching out for help on Facebook (thank you to all who responded, you cheered me up considerably!).

After wallowing in despair for the rest of the day, I decided that there's no budging around the crib nap: Elise hadn't had a good swing nap in days, and wasn't getting any less aware of the toddler bustling around her. I tried harder. Elise seemed to nap a million little times a day, but at least she was napping.

As I persisted, Elise matured, so that about the time I really needed to see progress, she instituted a long morning nap. The household breathed a sigh of relief.

Now, Elise eats once at night (and occasionally wakes up just to be settled one or two other times), and once usually in the 5 a.m. hour (night? morning? we haven't decided). Regardless of when she eats, I make sure she's awake "for the day" by 6:30. She naps an hour afterward (so, around 7:30, give or take), and usually sleeps until 9:30-ish. Yes, it's true!

On a good day, Elise will catnap in the car if we head out after that, and then take a long afternoon nap--but these days only happen maybe 2 times per week, usually on the weekends when Matt's babysitting. The rest of the day, she'll take 45-minute naps, or less if we're out and about. She's not always happy that she can't get back to sleep, but we all manage. And she seems to be dropping her late evening nap, although she still needs to sleep at that time so I'm not really sure what I'll do (probably move bedtime earlier or distract her with a bath).

And our routine is as simple as the Baby Whisperer promised it could be. Simpler, really--Elise doesn't really require rocking anymore, which I'm admittedly a tiny bit disappointed in.

I learned a little about Elise during this time: mostly, that she can't be awake for more than about an hour (sometimes a bit more if we're out) without getting overtired. She also hates being moved or messed with when she's sleepy. "Just give me a swaddle and a pacifier and a dark room and leave me alone!" she seems to say.

She also really can put herself to sleep, as long as the timing is right. Sometimes even without the pacifier, I'd guess.

And it also seems that she's willing to be a decent crib napper, or a decent on-the-go napper, but not both, so I can picture us having to limit our outings in the future. Sleep is important. We will maintain a balance, though--I refuse to stay inside the house for the entirety of the baby's first year just so I can put Elise down for all her naps. Kalina and I both have our sanity to maintain. So we will stay in only on the really cold or wet days.

I must admit that I'm a bit proud for having almost figured out this whole sleep thing, and proud of Elise for the same reason. However, I'm not ready to claim success quite yet: we still have the 4-month sleep regression in our path. I'm sure you'll hear from me again then. Let's hope it's good news.

Photo: Elise helps decorate the Christmas tree!

The value of sleep (plus, a Doctor Visit!)

As I'm sure you remember (who can forget?), I basically didn't get much of anything you could call sleep between late April of 2008 (thank you, pregnancy) and March of 2009.

Matt sympathetically referred to this time period as sleep torture. "Even criminals and war prisoners of civilized nations are allowed a full night of sleep," he'd remind me. "That's one of the ways they torture people--they wake you up every hour." I did appreciate his comments, they made a lovely excuse for why I felt less than human for most of a year. Ugh.

When you endure sleep torture for almost a year, you don't forget it. Which is why we've unabashedly shushed houseguests, married a schedule, refused to travel for 6 months after Kalina started sleeping through the night, and still occasionally whisper out of habit even if Kalina's sleeping upstairs and we're in the kitchen. We realize we're a bit ridiculous, but neither of us has the heart to change anything. Imagine being locked in an isolation cell for 11 months. How long would it take for you to willingly walk into a closet and shut the door?

And thanks in part to our efforts (and probably in part to prayer and general maturity as well), our little girl now more-or-less happily helps gather all her animals and then heads up the stairs whenever we mention the fact that "it's naptime" or "it's nighttime." After a 20-minute-or-less routine, she sleeps at least 10 hours for one and generally at least 2 hours for the other, falling asleep on her own (along with Lamby, Mountain Lion, Farm Animals, Cats and Frog, of course) and generally doesn't wake up in the middle, and we're all quite content.

But what can be more disruptive to a good nap and a good night of sleep than a newborn? We have yet to find out what damage, exactly, our new addition will do to our well-laid plans, let alone our psyches (and what damage we all will do to hers), but at least our past experiences have taught us a few things.

For one, that good sleep is worth more than money. To that end, we're shelling out the big bucks to protect every night of sleep we possibly can. This has ranged from buying a new crib and mattress so we don't have to transition Kalina to a big-girl bed and risk a sleep fiasco until she's older (not to mention the fact that cribs fit better in our house than twin-sized beds, and it didn't cost us quite a fortune since we're savvy shoppers), to purchasing a window air conditioner on a whim when our air conditioning went out. It'd be hard to place a real number on how much sleep is worth to us, but I think if given the chance, we'd gladly trade a check with 3 zeros on it for the knowledge that our baby would sleep through the night by 8 weeks of age. (We've heard of these types of children--they're the same ones who are entertained by handing them a toy and aren't terrified of everyone over 6 months of age.)

Other things we've learned: We must have some sort of sound machine at least in Kalina's room, we must have a routine, and we must not travel just when we've finally made some progress with sleeping through the night. And one day, maybe within the next year, the sun will come up and we won't be there to greet it.

It's funny, but you'd think that with all our past experience, we'd have discussed the sleep issue more thoroughly. In truth, there hasn't been much to say--we know and agree to everything above instinctively, as the only options that will allow us to survive this whole newborn business. The new crib/mattress and air conditioner decisions were no-brainers. And one time I openly wondered "will you still help me at night, even though you have a real job now?" and Matt said he'd do what he could, and we left it at that. After all, what more is there to discuss? Inwardly, though, I know we're both resolved that it has to be better than last time. Or else the Odegaard species will go extinct.

I do want to make sure I'm prepared, though. I've heard that you can figure out your newborn's natural schedule by keeping track of when she's active in utero. I liked this idea until I realized that while Little Sister's on a fairly pleasant schedule during the day (read: sleeping a lot), she rivals Big Sister's toddler dancing/twirling between the hours of 11 pm and 5 am. We're all in trouble. And yes, Kalina is already waking her sister up--the occasional elbow to the belly will do that, even to a child who hasn't even been born yet!

Pregnancy sleep has, unfortunately, been much ruder to me this time than last time. With Kalina, I remember that once week 33 hit, we were all done sleeping. I think this time it's been very hit-and-miss since maybe week 25? It's all a bit of a fog. Fortunately, I'm also used to managing with less. I've also noticed that when I sleep particularly poorly, I take it really easy on myself and Kalina the next day (if at all possible) and we end up having a lovely day together.

"Do you nap when Kalina naps?" I was asked yesterday. "No, I'm writing a book," I managed to laugh. Who has time to nap? Even Kalina doesn't at times, busy girl. I'm just hoping that her naps last through the first draft. Lamby, for her part, takes the occasional adorable catnap in Kalina's arms. At least one family member is well-rested.

Doctor Visit!

I think this doctor visit was the easiest yet. I'll admit that I was so relieved not to have a really long wait with a toddler, or bad news once I got to talk to the doctor, that I forgot to ask how I'm measuring and how much weight I've gained (which I think is a perfect 2 pounds).

Grandpa babysat Kalina again, and Kalina took the news in stride. "Daddy's at work. Mommy's off to the doctor. Kalina stays home with Grandpa," she recited throughout the morning, without crying or even frowning. The situation was complicated ever so slightly by a 100-degree fever, but Kalina if anything just mellows out when she's sick, and loses her appetite, so it was a non-issue after all. Whew.

The parking lot was empty when I arrived. Despite being 7 minutes early, I was shooed into an exam room immediately and assured the doctor was already ready for me. With the recent baby boom, I'm not used to this treatment. It was lovely, although I wouldn't have minded a 10-minute wait, seeing as I like reading pregnancy magazines and sipping water. And sitting down.

I did end up with a wait, and I'm not sure why except the doctor must have been finishing some paperwork. I got to browse pregnancy magazines after all, where I read that sometimes newborns don't sleep well, and you can help the situation by keeping the lights dim at night.

I assume I'm still measuring small and was glad that the doctor found no cause for concern. The heartbeat sounded just fine to both of us. The several contractions I've had are nothing to worry about. Nor is labor: everything is faster, easier and less stressful the second time. I should "breeze through it," and my nurse had no business telling me that she had me "pegged for a c-section" last time. Hmph. Baby is positioned just fine.

And so, that was it! I got to leave without scheduling any more worrisome appointments (although my next one is an ultrasound to check the baby's growth--it had already been scheduled), and I felt very good about everything.

Photo: Matt's 3 girls at 34 1/2 weeks! Yes, Kalina and I like to dress alike nowadays. We both think it's fun. I don't care what anyone else thinks--it helps facilitate dressing the toddler in the morning. And we only have a few clothes that "match," anyway, so it's not like we do it every day.

Mommy worry and solid food

When presented with the probability of becoming a mommy, no one plans to be the continually worrying type of one. We initially refuse to obsess about such mundane things as diapers and their content, strained peas or even ridiculously cute baby clothes. We steadfastly vow not to let the baby slow us down. We certainly won't fret about every little thing.

We tell our bachelor friends our plans, and they commend us. "Babies pretty much take care of themselves anyway," they remind us. "After all, what do they do except sleep and eat?" We take heart.

We tell our mommy friends our plans, and they smile and nod. "Sleep when the baby sleeps," they tell us more often than not. We laugh and say we're already sleeping terribly thanks to our giant tummies and tiny bladders and assure them it can't get any worse. They go home and get the last laugh in private so as not to hurt our feelings.

And then we're plunged into the thick of mommyhood with nothing but a sea of pain and hospital food to transition us. We're shown how to bathe a newborn and sent home with a small pamphlet on how to take care of a baby.

This is often the extent of our preparation for mommyhood.

We leaf through the pamphlet a week later and notice, to our shock and dismay, that Juniorette isn't following the carefully bulleted (but not proofread) guidelines. Now what?

And so the worry begins.

Eight months of intense sleep-deprivation later (that's right, Kalina has lapsed into her former ways of waking at least once during the night), and I'm a chronic mommy worrier. Can you blame me?

For instance, my day is now planned around whatever I think will make the baby sleep through the night. Having at least skimmed every mainstream book on baby sleep, I have a virtual checklist I go through each day, making sure she gets enough floor time, walking time, Mommy time, Daddy time, learning time, naps and quiet time. And heaven forbid she catnap between sleep periods in the carseat.

Really, it's a lot of pressure: one toy too many and the baby is too overstimulated to sleep through the night. One toy too few and she's not tired enough. Is it any wonder she wakes up? I never knew babies were so complex.

All while hearing over and over "there's not much you can do, really, but try these few things..."

Which brings me to my next point: there's the one thing that all the old wives swear will help Baby sleep through the night, that all the scientists say is hogwash: solid food.

Secretly, I believe the old wives. So when Kalina refuses to eat any solids, I understandably begin to worry. (Freak)

When we started Kalina on solids, she loved them. She'd eat anything we dished into her little mouth, even the occasional accidental cat hair. This continued for a blissful month or so.

Sometime after her half birthday, however, Kalina decided she was done with solid foods. "That was fun, guys," she seemed to say. "But really, haven't I had enough?" And she'd clamp her little lips tightly closed, turn her head and give us every sign in the world that she wasn't letting the spoon in.

I wouldn't have been so desperate to feed her had not the introduction of several rather large solid-food meals every day corresponded nicely with the advent of sleeping through the night--something she held to for almost two weeks before reverting in the worst way. The old wives chattered amongst themselves, and I couldn't help but overhear: could solid foods be the root issue?

But the books told me not to force the issue, and that it's fine if Kalina only eats a bite or two of solid food a day. Fine for who? I wanted to ask/scream. I would imagine that in order to write a book, the authors were getting somewhat more than a couple 1- to 2-hour stretches of sleep at night. Then again, these same books swear there's no correlation.

And so, like many desperate mommies across the centuries, I tried to force the issue. We pureed anything I could possibly puree. We tried finger foods. We tried adding cinnamon. We experimented with temperatures and consistencies. We tried eating while playing. We tried taking bites off of Mommy's banana. We almost tried cake, but my better sense got the best of me.

Kalina is a force to be reckoned with, however, and would still have none of it. Well, almost. She would happily eat the occasional large solid-food meal. For all I could figure out, the incidence of this is entirely, unnervingly random.

I discovered that when I pretended I didn't care whether she ate or not, sang to her or recited nursery rhymes or read to her in Spanish from the back of the Cheerios box throughout the meal, bribed her with Cheerios and spread a veritable feast of possible foods to try across the table, I could get the baby to eat a few extra bites. And so I did. Mealtime turned into a huge occasion--sometimes we even sent cards and exchanged gifts.

Then better sense got the best of me and I plunked her down at the table while Matt and I ate. That night she dined on chicken, peas, carrots, brown rice and cottage cheese. It worked!

The next day it didn't (nor did anything else). The day after that she happily ate a bowl of baby oatmeal with pureed banana.

And that brings us to this morning, and back to the original point: until all babies sleep peacefully through the night, eat everything we give them, poop uniformly, maintain a constant, safe body temperature and never topple over while learning new tricks, and never so much as get an itch in the middle of their back they can't scratch nor tell anyone about, there will be mommy worry.

The post we've all been waiting for...

Odegaard baby sleeps through night, mostly.
(Mommy doesn't even come close.)
Seven months after her birth, Kalina Odegaard, baby, sleeps through the night.

This phenomenon is defined here as sleeping until morning without needing any parental intervention.

"If you consider 5:09 morning, then I made it!" exclaims the baby girl.

Her mommy, giddy but groggy, couldn't be more proud. "Everyone told me this would happen someday," Mommy slurred. "I stopped believing them long ago."

The baby alternated between happily cooing and hungrily fussing until her mommy came and got her at 5:27.

When asked how she felt after a full night's rest, Mommy responded: "What do you mean? I woke up every hour and a half and I hardly slept at all after 3:45. About half of those wakings, though, the baby was quiet." Her eyes glazed over before she added, "Kalina fussed at 3:00 and 3:45 before waking again at a little after 5:00. I decided that was just about good enough."

The young girl was caught up in the celebratory spirit this morning, her Uncle Tom's birthday, smiling at everything and even eating a few bites of the solid-meal breakfast of banana and oatmeal her mommy ordered to help make up for the skipped nighttime feeding.

"Mommy said she's making me a cake to celebrate, but I know it's really for the birthday party. That's okay, I don't know what cake is anyway," mentioned Kalina.

The girl easily went down for both morning and afternoon naps, and was generally cooperative throughout the day.

"I think she does better when she sleeps," commented a chipper-yet-also-drowsy Daddy. "I think we all do better when she sleeps."

Mommy is looking forward to a future of the occasional 8-hour night of sleep. However, she may not get there soon. "I've been suffering from insomnia, plus random wake-ups during the night, not to mention the fact that I wake with every noise the baby makes. I'm lucky if I get a 3-hour stretch," she complained for everyone to hear.

"Mommy said we're going to sleep-train her now!" giggled Kalina. "I hope we use the cry-it-out method" she muttered, becoming serious all of a sudden.

The Odegaard parents used a combination of cry-it-out training as well as lots of patience to achieve the desired result of a night of sleep.

"Well, we're not there yet," Daddy warned. "But it does seem like she's finally developmentally ready to sleep long periods of time. She's been waking later and later for her feeding the past week or two, and we can finally consider it morning," he said with a slight groan. "Mommy wanted to celebrate, but all I could think of was 'great, we're up extra early this morning!'"

The family will be turning over a new leaf with the onset of sleep-filled nights. Daddy has been filling in for Mommy during the early mornings with the baby, and will soon get a well-deserved chance to sleep in for a change. Kalina will use her extra sleep to process the millions of things she's learning each day.

Mommy has big plans as well: "With all the extra energy, I plan to write a book on sleep training that reaches out to other suffering parents. I may also start a foundation to fund hotel stays for tired, broken mommies and daddies who just need a break. And after that," she added, "I'll take on a full-time job or two, run for office, build a solar-powered house, tame lions and sew Kalina's entire summer wardrobe. That should keep me busy for a week or two."

She noted crankily that she actually hasn't had a good night of sleep since last April, pregnancy having interfered until the baby took over.

"The last night of sleep before I went into labor was particularly bad," Mommy remembers. "And labor started as I put my head on the pillow that evening. I felt cheated," she admitted.

And so the Odegaards are celebrating their good fortune, glad it's a Saturday so they can spend the day together.

"Maybe I'll even sleep through again tonight!" quipped the baby.

Why I like 6-month-olds

Even before Kalina was born, our kind friends were telling us when "it" (meaning baby-raising) would get easier. We had estimates of 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 3 months and 4 months.

I'm not saying it didn't get easier at each of these points (with the exception of 4 months, when everything went down the tubes entirely), it's just that saying that life with a baby gets easier is like saying you can get used to having a live yak attached to you at all times. Yes, it gets easier as you give in to the insurmountable major inconveniences, but that's not to be confused with "easy."

Unless you have a baby boy--my newest theory is that baby boys are easier in general than baby girls and that you can occasionally ignore them if need be (not the case with baby girls, who demand attention at all times).

So at 2 weeks, we ceased to worry whether the baby was eating enough, at 6 weeks she was giving us some longer stretches of sleep at night--often longer than she gives us now--at 8 weeks she started to entertain us and at 3 months she started to be entertained. All of these helped make it a tiny bit easier. (We won't even talk about 4 months.)

And yet, due to a combination of factors that you should know by heart by now if you follow the blog, the baby has only had about 2 total hours in her life in which I considered her "easy." She was sleeping at the time and looked like a little angel.

However, I'm feeling good about 6 months. Could this be the elusive "easier" I've been looking for? Let's consider the facts:

1. She's considerably less floppy than she used to be. I can hold her on my hip as long as my arm allows without her wilting out of my grasp. I also don't continually get the feeling that I could break her.

2. I've heard of 6-month, 9-month, 12-month and 18-month sleep regressions (as well as the horrid 4-month one), but I don't believe anything short of a half-dozen mice let loose in her crib could make her sleep any worse than she already has. It can really only get better or it won't be considered sleep.

3. She's eating more solid foods and within the next 6 months should be fed entirely with solids. In fact, someday she might eat what I cook for me and Matt. And then she'll turn 2 and won't eat anything but olives and sweet tarts, but that doesn't sound half bad to me right now.

4. I get to start planning her very first birthday party, to which you're all invited. I've already found the perfect cake pan.

5. The other day she entertained herself for a good 20 minutes with a single plastic block. She did the same thing the next day, same block. Not that she's entirely self-entertained, but this type of progress does my heart good. (Of course, I had to be sitting next to her the entire time or else she would've freaked out--we're working on that.)

6. Milestones in the first 6 months were often variations of "she lost the tongue-thrust relfex!" and "she can track circles with her eyes!" What a snooze. However, today as a 6-and-a-half-month-old she pushed herself onto her knees all by herself and also stood for a split second without holding onto anything. Now those are milestones.

7. I've quit recognizing her "I'm bored and want Mommy to entertain me" cries as reason to run to her rescue. In fact, most child experts agree that after 6 months it's fine to let babies self-soothe as long as their basic needs are taken care of. Whew. (For extra credit, tell me about a time when you tried to keep so much as a houseplant happy for 6 months straight while experts breathed down your neck through the Internet.)

8. I can make anything into a fun game simply by smiling and laughing. "And now we're going to write Mommy's grocery list! Yay!" And she laughs back, sadly having no idea that the joke is kind of on her. My other super power is the ability to make anything into a toy (sometimes she gets one step ahead of me and makes, oh, say, the electrical socket into a toy before I can hand her an empty paper towel tube instead).

So yes, I suppose "it" is easier finally now at 6 months. So when does it get easy?

Pacifier? What's a pacifier? or Sleep Training Nights 2 & 3

On Saturday afternoon, Matt was with Kalina when she caught a glimpse of her nighttime pacifier on a shelf. She started cooing really excitedly. "Look, Dad!" she gurgled. "It's my pacifier! I found it! Now we can quit this silliness of making me fall asleep without it, right? What a relief!"

Poor baby! We told her that in exchange for her pacifier she'd be learning valuable lifetime lessons about how to fall asleep on her own that would contribute not only to her health and happiness, but to her brain's ability to learn. So when she discovers a cure for cancer 30-some years down the road that sets her up for life, maybe then she can have her pacifier back. Should we press it in the baby book for her?

Saturday night was fairly similar to Friday night, except the early hours were a little more interrupted than we all would've liked. 3:30 and on have always been difficult for Kalina.

Last night, however, not a single tear was shed! The only incident was that she woke up around 1:20, presumably wanting to be fed. Matt and I had stupidly decided last night that we may or may not wait to feed her depending on when she woke, and Matt would potentially comfort her in the meantime. Seeing Matt stirring beside me and not wanting to make the decisions on my own, I asked him what we should do. "Let's wait until one hundred," he said. "One hundred? That's not a time." "I'm half asleep. Feed her at 4:30." I was thinking 2:00 would be much more reasonable, but fortunately Kalina saved me the trouble of communicating this to my sleep-drugged husband by falling back asleep. Matt did, by the way, remember the conversation this morning.

But the big news from last night is that we're pretty sure we're officially and finally down to 1 feeding! As an added treat, Kalina slept in until 6:45!

For some reason, instead of feeling delighted I was a bit sad. I over-analyzed the reason for her lack of crying and rather pessimistically decided it was because she didn't think we cared anymore. I still can't shake that feeling, but I'm also satisfied that we're averaging only 3-4 wakeups per night (down from about 80-85). I just hope the baby has the good sense to cry loudly if there's a cat on her face or something.*

At this morning's nap, poor Kalina experienced her first-ever insomnia. It took her 30 minutes to fall asleep. The time was punctuated with short bouts of crying, and I could relate: which of us hasn't felt like screaming sometimes when we're tired but can't sleep? I would've offered her a book and a flashlight, but reasoned that she probably wouldn't like the taste. Instead I took a shower, glad that even if Kalina cried continually, I could easily finish the shower in the 7 minutes I had before I was supposed to check on her.

Although we're still hoping to get down to just 1 wakeup per night, we're considering sleep training a success so far. This chapter is officially closed unless there's anything further to report. Rumor has it I might even stop complaining about lack of sleep every time anyone asks me how the baby is doing. I bet you're as excited as I am!

*As a side note, once we consider sleep training "done," we'll be sure not to wait long before checking on the baby, just in case.

Air raid sirens in my head, or Sleep Training: Night 1

Moms are programmed so that when the baby cries, it sounds to them as if World War III is upon us. We know in our minds that, in fact, World War III is not actually happening (at least as a result of our baby crying), but we can't help looking over our shoulders for atomic bombs when our babies burst into tears. That is why we may seem a bit uptight when the baby is fussy.

I'm sure you can understand, then, that I haven't been keen on cry-it-out methods of sleep training. Kalina has been so young, so helpless. Could I really let her sob for hours on end, alone in the darkness?

The answer became a resounding yes when my exhaustion tolerance was reached after Thursday night--a night that began with insomnia (since I'd gotten a good 2 1/2-hour stretch the night before) and ended with me getting up every 15 minutes until Matt took pity on me around 6:00 a.m. No more, I said. Nobody is sleeping well, least of all the poor baby.

It finally seemed better to find a way in which we could all get a little more rest. It's in Kalina's best interest, after all. How is her mind supposed to grow and develop if she's not sleeping? How can she even function (these questions I asked of myself as well)? And she'll be fine.

So last night we kicked off the real sleep training. None of this no-cry stuff, which neither of us ended up having the patience for and didn't seem to be working anyway. We decided that the pacifier was a major stumbling block for her, and also that she was eating too often (as many as 4 times in one night recently). Through a process so complicated we needed to write it down on a clipboard and quiz each other on, we decided to take away the pacifier cold turkey, get her stabilized at 2 feedings and eventually get her down to 1 feeding and then later an amazing 0. We decided on the Ferber method, which allows frantic parents to check on the frantic baby every so often.

I was miserable the entire day yesterday. I tried to prepare Kalina for what I knew was ahead by getting her used to sleeping without the pacifier as best I could. After I tucked my sweet baby in for her last scream-free nap around 4:30, I went downstairs and quietly freaked out. Could a baby really cry 11 hours straight? I wondered. I doubted it would work at all.

Matt gave me a pep talk, as did many websites I found through my good friend Google. I ignored, of course, the guilt-laden ones that said I was cruel and insensitive and that it's silly to try to sleep train this early because they're going through so much it won't do any good. I read how to quickly and quietly clean up any vomit present without doing much to disturb the baby.

I baked brownies, because I knew they might come in handy.

And finally the time came. The screams came. Matt did the first check, and then turned off the monitor and headed upstairs. I was to stay downstairs and try not to listen. But who doesn't hear air-raid sirens?

Then the crying stopped. What? Seven minutes into it? Does the baby know that if she'd just screamed 1 more minute she would've earned another visit from one of us? Matt turned up the monitor and we both listened to her breathe.

We promised each other it'd be worse in the middle of the night--after all, we're not going to get through this without a little hazing--and eventually headed off to bed ourselves.

Sure enough, the 11:45 wakeup came along. Instead of rushing to the nursery (and back to bed, and back to the nursery, etc.) as usual to spend my next 45 minutes or so getting the baby back to sleep, I stayed warm and cozy, albeit on edge, because you never know about those atomic bombs. Eight minutes later, peace once again filled the house.

After eating at a generous 1:45, Kalina slept comfortably through until 5:37--her second feeding that the night before had been her fourth instead. She was then up for the day at her usual 6:15 and she even smiled all morning, as if we hadn't been perfectly willing to let her cry the entire night. Please remind me to delete this blog before she's a teenager.

The naps so far have gone just as well if not better.

Is the elusive good night of sleep, which I haven't seen since April, finally in sight? I'll keep you posted.

Coming to a bookstore near you

Matt and I are proud to announce that Kalina's first bestseller will be hitting the shelves sometime next week. We couldn't be happier. Her book has been the product of several weeks' intense struggle and we're thrilled to see this difficult, yet exciting, period coming to an end.

At least that's what must be happening, right?

In all my Google searches the past few weeks, one of the most valuable things I've learned is that while babies are working on some sort of keen new development, their sleeping and eating habits go berserk. There's a method to the madness and certainly a madness to the method.

So Matt and I can only conclude, based on the fact that my days and nights with Kalina have been rather berserk indeed that Kalina must be either winning the Nobel prize (which we ruled out due to the timing) or writing some masterwork of fiction. We're looking forward to reading it.

After all, the only other thing the baby has seemed to be working on lately is blowing raspberries, and if all this madness is simply for a silly mouth noise I'm going to throw in the towel. She can't even do it right yet.

In case you haven't noticed, we're also increasingly confident that our child is a super-genius. We were hoping for a calm, cool B student (having been awkward A students ourselves) but instead we'll probably be sending her off to Harvard when she's 12. Poor girl.

We have our reasons. For one, she can't be bothered by simple baby toys. As if to let us know she's already advanced far beyond them, she often stares off into space no matter what cool things we surround her with. We're sure she's busy contemplating the quantum mechanics of her exersaucer or something.

She also already knows all her vowels, and has invented her own language out of them, although the words are mostly variations on "I'm bored again" "I'm hungry," "But I don't want to sleep" and "Hold me."

And then there are all her night wakings. She must be squirming in her swaddle because she can't quite reach a pen to write down her latest big idea for how to solve the global food crisis.

She's a busy baby indeed.

And while Kalina's slept decent stretches at night twice in the past week, signifying that this turmoil inside our sweet little girl's mind might be drawing to a peaceful, if temporary, close, we know we're not out of the woods yet. After all, there will be publicity tours and book signings to keep her schedule busy through the holidays.

The bright side

Fortunately, it's in my nature, once I get done freaking out, to look on the bright side. So despite the fact that I see every hour on the clock throughout the night, I can no longer follow recipes, I get winded walking up the stairs, and playing with brightly colored objects that rattle is now just about the perfect activity to challenge my mind, I'm going to look on the bright side of sleep deprivation.

Mainly, the fact that the reason I'm not sleeping is likely because Kalina is traveling through a rather massive developmental spurt.

Really, she's pretty amazing nowadays. And the cool thing about being a sometimes-work-at-home-but-mostly-stay-at-home mom is that I see all of it. This makes my conversation somewhat boring to most normal people as I gush about how Kalina rolled not once, but twice, complete with play-by-play ("And then I came back into the room, and she was on her back!!! Can you believe it?!?"). They smile politely and try to change the subject. Pet owners, fortunately, can relate somewhat. "Really? Rover rolls, too!" "How did you train him to roll over on command?" "This neat whistle, want me to show you?" "Where can I get a whistle?"

A couple weeks ago Kalina started to stand with help. Now, it's fun to see that her joy and pride over this accomplishment have turned into nonchalance. "Um, I've been standing for weeks now, just like you guys. A little credit, please. I can do way cooler things than this," her glazed-over eyes seem to say as she munches on her hand.

She also almost sits without help, for as many as 5-10 seconds at a time. She does so well during those 5-10 seconds that I kind of start to forget that she can't actually sit yet. Then she starts to slowly tip over, and I have to rush to catch her. It's startling for both of us, but I think she likes sitting overall because it gives her better access to her toys.

Speaking of toys, Kalina munches them with a vengeance (see video). It's actually a little unsettling how she likes to tear into things nowadays (and she doesn't stop at toys--Mommy's hair and Daddy's nose have both been targets). Let's just say I wouldn't want to meet her alone in a dark alley. She's very serious about her play--she seems to be the frustrated artist type about it. If her mouth grip isn't perfect, she gets angsty but tries again with determination. I imagine she'll be the type to color in the lines, and make sure the other kids do, too.

And then there's the laughing. I think it's worth losing at least an hour of sleep a night for, although I'm still deciding just how much sleep I'd trade for her laughter. Before Kalina started laughing, I used to think she was this really selective critic--sometimes it was beyond my repertoire and budget to get her to crack a smile. Now I know she's not, seeing as she got the biggest kick out of Matt doing a one-person wave (think baseball stadium) the other night. I'm relieved to know that I won't have to develop complex comedy routines or hire professionals just to entertain my child, as I previously worried.

Did I mention she rolled twice in a row? I put her on her tummy and left the room briefly. And then I came back into the room and Kalina was on her back!!! Can you believe it?!? The reason this is so exciting is that she's hated tummy time for so much of her life that I'm thrilled to see the end is approaching (as much for me as for her). I don't think she understands these implications, though, as she seems to be in no hurry to roll again.

As for me, I've found a few personal bright sides as well. For one, while I'm doing chores or cooking dinner, I occasionally look up and ask myself why in the world I'm so tired. Then it hits me: I don't sleep anymore. So I quickly put an end to whatever I'm doing and hightail it to the couch, no guilt involved. The other bright side is that if I do ever sleep as many as 2 hours in a row, I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

So I'm almost at peace with the fact that neither of us is getting any sleep. Although now I wonder what she'd be able to do if she were sleeping. Today, the exersaucer, tomorrow, the world, I suppose. Maybe next month?

On the importance of a good breakfast cereal

I've discovered recently that Fruity Cheerios is about $1 cheaper at my local Target than at my local grocery store. This is important because other than Kalina's cries, Fruity Cheerios are the only thing that get me up some mornings. I like the fact that they're whole-grain and healthy-ish, yet pleasing to the eye and palate with a delicious array of flavors and colors.

That's right, this is the long-awaited "I'm not getting any sleep" post.

I've tried to avoid writing this post as long as possible. I think it's in poor taste to complain publicly about not getting any sleep when you have a new baby. At the same time, I'd planned by now to be able to write a triumphant "the baby slept through the night!" post, and since that's about as far off as Kalina's retirement party, this is my consolation.

At the risk of sounding grumpy, I won't bore you with the details--I'll just say that Kalina used to sleep much better and now, in addition to two meals, she's decided on an "I just want to see Mommy" awakening that often happens just as I'm first drifting off to sleep for the night. Add in a few "oops, my pacifier fell out and now I need it again, please" wakings and the fact that I sleep through nothing and you'll see why I haven't posted in a week.

The real purpose of this post is not to complain about lack of sleep, but to kick off Kalina's official sleep training boot camp.

Don't worry--we're sending her to a rather posh one that doesn't allow cry-it-out methods. In fact, we're hoping she never has to cry it out, seeing as none of us would enjoy that very much.

In asking Google what the general consensus is on 4-month-old sleep, I found answers ranging from "4-month-olds sleep terribly and there's nothing you can do" to the ever-so-helpful "my 4-month-old has been sleeping through the night for weeks."

Therefore, I ended up consulting a book that now seems like the worst of both worlds: you can help your baby sleep longer, and potentially through the night, but it's going to take a lot of effort and in the meantime you'll all get less sleep.

We just started. You're supposed to wait 10 days before evaluating your progress. Ten days, by the way, is eternity (see my "Pregnancy timeline" post). And although we're only a couple nights into it, we're already slacking, questioning our intentions and rethinking goals and methods. We're wondering if maybe it wouldn't just be easier to go with the flow. Is this a prelude to our future parenting skills? (Or lack thereof?) We attribute the slacking to the fact that our baby is "different." She is--have I mentioned we can already tell she's a genius? So she certainly won't respond to ordinary sleep-training methods. Right?

Of course, there's always the chance that she'll develop the ability to sleep longer at night on her own. Please.

If there's anything interesting that comes out of this, you can be sure I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I should say that Kalina is actually an excellent napper. Maybe too good: could it be she's simply napping through the night? Only time will tell. Thank goodness for Fruity Cheerios.

Kalina vs. the experts

Ever since Kalina's been born, we've been reading "How to raise a baby" books, all of them chock full of advice. We like to laugh at them together. Here are some of our reactions:

"Sleep when your baby sleeps."
Kalina: Hope my grunting doesn't keep you up.
Me: Seven 15-minute naps per day don't add up to any decent amount of sleep.

"In the first two weeks, your baby should eat at least every 2-3 hours. If your baby falls asleep, you can wake her by gently tickling her or touching her with a cold washcloth."
Kalina: I want to eat every 3 1/2 hours.
Me: The baby will only eat every 3 1/2 hours. We sprung eight rambunctious monkeys, a fire hose and a marching band on her and she remains unmoved and asleep.

"After the first two weeks, continue to feed your baby every 2-3 hours during the day."
Kalina: I changed my mind. Now I want to eat twice an hour.
Me: The baby will not stop eating. Is this payback for the rambunctious monkeys?

"Between the third and fourth months, your baby will lengthen the time between feedings."
Kalina: Yes, but I still reserve the right to eat absurdly often.
Me: The baby is now eating every hour and a half to two hours. Finally, some relief!

"Burp your baby at least once in the middle of a feeding."
Kalina: Interrupt a feeding? Don't even think about it. I'll burp when I want to.
Me: The baby is a really good burper.

"If your baby spits up a lot after feedings, keep her upright for at least 30 minutes."
Kalina: I'll find a way.
Me: Can I buy stock in Stain Stick?

"Between the third and fourth months, your baby will begin a sleep schedule, with 2-3 naps a day."
Kalina: I want five short naps. I will complain about each and every one, but I will complain more if I don't get them. Any deviations must be approved by me in advance.
Me: She's a good sleeper, but we can't leave the house.

"To calm your baby when she's crying, try putting her in her swing. The motion will calm her down"
Kalina: If you do, I'll just scream louder. I'll always make you regret putting me down when I'm unhappy.
Me: The baby sometimes seems to cry all day long.

"Babies are fascinated by their hands, as well as colorful objects."
Kalina: Only as a last resort.
Me: The baby is hard to entertain. Could that be because all of her toys look like they came from a pet store?

"To help your baby relax and get ready to sleep, use a bedtime routine, for instance, bath, change into pajamas, book, bed."
Kalina: Frankly, I don't think anything could prepare me for bedtime.
Me: I'm the only person on the planet who can get Kalina to fall asleep, even if she's not at all hungry. How could a bath help the situation?

"Make sure you give your baby plenty of tummy time every day. Don't do tummy time soon after meals, and if your baby fusses, turn her over so she doesn't learn to dislike tummy time."
Kalina: I've always hated tummy time.
Me: Based on the above requirements, there are only about 3 minutes a day that Kalina might possibly be content to do tummy time and not spit up. But we give it our best shot and promise to do better the next day.

And our personal favorite:
"Around this time, your baby will sleep longer and longer stretches at night. She may even start to sleep through the night!"
Kalina: No.
Me: Do we have a newborn? She wakes every 1 1/2 to 4 hours between 7:30 pm and 7:00 am. If this isn't a growth spurt, I'm going to cry.

You're all invited to a public book burning.