At the library

Today Kalina and I went to the library so she could, of all things, burn off energy. It's going to be our new hangout and if I'm not careful, we'll almost certainly get kicked out.

We had signed up to attend "Miss Margaret's Lapsitters," a singing, storying, rhyming good time for tots, some of whom actually managed to stay on their mommies' laps for much of the time.

The room was babyproofed and rather sparse, except for some carpet samples set in a circle. I migrated toward the only empty one and almost managed to sit on it before Kalina was up and running. She smiled at everyone and everything while we got acquainted with our neighbors.

We seemed to be the only ones there who didn't already go way back with Miss Margaret, but she made a valiant effort to remember Kalina's name as we went around the circle and introduced the kids (yup, just the kids).

And then we began. By singing kiddie songs. Accompanied by fun hand gestures. It quickly became obvious that I was the only mommy who hadn't been attending for months on end. I clapped out of place and sang half a step behind while trying to corale Kalina within arms' reach. I noticed that some of the babies doing a better job with the hand gestures than I was, and that beyond a minute or two, Kalina couldn't care less.

On to the next thing: puppets. Miss Margaret stuck a turtle on one hand and a lamb on the other, and invited the babies to toddle up for a pretend petting zoo. Kalina hooted with excitement and grabbed my hand so she could toddle faster toward the turtle, which she immediately tried to snatch from Miss Margaret. Upon her unsuccess in this attempt, she settled for circling back to the turtle several times before it was finally put away.

And then we had stories: "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?" on a flannel board. As the other kiddies sat in rapt attention (except one wandering boy), Kalina investigated a drawer she found. After all, she'd heard the story before.

However, she hadn't heard "Five Little Monkeys," especially when told with the help of a monkey-faced glove prop, and she settled in my lap for the first time since the very beginning.

And finally we has music time. Miss Margaret set out two boxes of musical instruments, which the children flocked to like bad cats to a baby-filled high chair, and turned on some upbeat music. The room got very loud. Kalina decided an egg shaker was her best bet, and grabbed two of them so she could join in. However, she saved her loudest noise for when we had to put the eggs back in the box. The othe kids quietly helped pick up all the instruments while Kalina cried.

One more short song later while Kalina ran around in circles, and we were done for the day. But our trip to the library wasn't, as we needed to find a week's worth of entertainment for Kalina.

We went to the kids area, which had a few toys and puzzles, a giant bead maze toy, a few plastic chairs and some shelves with lots of board books on them. My task was to find half a dozen or so board books that might interest Kalina (she's made it clear she has her favorites) and that weren't in Spanish or about "My First Hannukah." Kalina's task was to toss all of the books off the shelves and onto the floor, no matter how many times I picked her up and plunked her back down by the bead maze instead. I worked quickly, picking up after Kalina as I went, and moving books from low shelves to high ones out of her way.

And then we were done! We talked about Five Little Monkey's all the way home. Miss Margaret, you'll see us again.

Photo: Sharing a popsicle with Daddy ("Will lapsit for popsicles")

What's in yours?

What do you do with all of Baby's stuff when you're on the go? Some choose to leave the baby at home rather than drag half of the nursery's contents out and about. For the rest of us, there's the diaper bag. Everyone's got one, and nobody really likes them.

Before the baby is even born, moms-to-be are asked if they have the diaper bag packed. Of course they do, they have all the time in the world. The diaper bag has, in fact, been packed and repacked and repacked, in such a way that everything actually fits, and quite cutely. However, no one who actually has a baby will be able to put it all back together, and from its very first use it will be doomed to be a catch-all cesspool of baby gear, of which generally only the top two inches' worth is ever accessed.

The irony here is that everything you actually need for the baby in the first few months can fit on your person. A diaper in your back pocket, wipes in the other one and your shirt doubles as a burp rag anyway.

The first several times you leave the house with the baby you forget the diaper bag. After that, every time you leave the house even without the baby you instinctively reach for it. I usually have to give it a good, long look just to remind it and myself that its value to me only applies when the baby is along.

As an aside, it seems that every mom goes through the "I'll just use my purse as a diaper bag" phase. At its worst, this phase sees Mom venturing out to buy the biggest purse possible with pockets on every surface, and then spilling pacifiers all over the table when she finally gets to go to dinner with a friend. At its best, Mom is back to lugging around a diaper bag the next day. Sometimes there's even a complete reversal, which has Mom triumphantly vowing "I'll use my diaper bag as a purse." This is just sad, and usually ends the first time her wallet is left behind on a trip to the grocery store.

Of course, once the baby has started solid food and takes an interest in toys the diaper bag probably needs its own room in the house. There's no end to the stuff you can pack in it, because it's always helpful to have an extra toy or snack. It spills over into the car, which is never the same again. The bag does, however, double as a warehouse you can easily visit in the middle of the night if you run out of diapers on the changing table.

It's acceptable diaper-bag etiquette, by the way, to forget one baby-related item as long as you're out with another friend who has a diaper bag. You just have to hope that both of you didn't forget the same thing, and you must gracefully compliment her diaper bag on its cuteness as you borrow the needed item.

Must you have a boy-themed diaper bag if you have a boy? Not unless the boy carries the bag around for you and changes his own diapers.

Without further adieu, here's a short quiz to help you determine your diaper-bag personality:

What does your diaper bag say about you?

Question 1: How many diaper bags do you own?
a.) One. Duh.
b.) One suitcase.
c.) Several, so I can choose one depending on the occasion and the duration of the outing.
d.) Zero. I put anything I need into my purse or work bag.

Question 2: What does Daddy carry when he's out with the baby?
a.) The diaper bag.
b.) A baseball glove, an iPod, a sandwich, an umbrella, tools, a flashlight, and a good book or two.
c.) Whatever I put in his hands on the way out the door.
d.) Nothing. There's a diaper in the glove compartment if he really needs it.

Question 3: What does your diaper bag look like?
a.) Brown.
b.) Lots of pockets. Lots of stuff hanging out of lots of pockets.
c.) Cute and clean. Like something you'd see in a magazine about how to put together your diaper bag.
d.) A Gucci bag.

Question 4: What item do you use most from your diaper bag?
a.) Diapers.
b.) The entire front pocket.
c.) Hand sanitizer.
d.) My iPod.

Question 5: What item do you forget at home most often?
a.) My lipstick.
b.) My wallet.
c.) Accessories that match the baby's outfit.
d.) Diapers.

Results:

Mostly a's: The well-balanced mommy
You're one of the lucky few: only about 1% of mommies fit into this category. And for good reason--by the time most mommies are this put-together they are no longer carrying a diaper bag. You have your priorities straight and even if you don't always get it right all the time, you have a good time trying.

Mostly b's: The out-of-control mommy
The bad news is that you may need to reign in your mommy-ing a bit. It's starting to scare Junior. The good news? You have a lot of friends. And you're always prepared, for everything from a little baby congestion to a natural disaster. However, you may want to take some time to organize your life--your diaper bag doesn't need to solve world hunger.

Mostly c's: The neurotic mommy
Your hair is always clean. As are the dishes. You host playdates in heels. You lost your pregnancy weight by the time you got home from the hospital. And your diaper bag? It's always cute, always packed and always perfect for the occasion. The downside? You may be a bit controlling. Ease up a bit. Forget the wipes once, we dare you.

Most d's: The in-denial minimalist mommy
Self-absorbed much? Admit it: you carry only a purse because you hate the thought of a diaper bag. But you stock it, right? With an extra little packet of Kleenex and a thing of Tic-Tacs, because they double baby snacks and a toy (you buy your breath mints from Starbucks). There's nothing wrong with that (well, except the Tic-Tacs), just fill your iPod with toddler tunes once in a while and get a reality check.

Photo: A picture I was saving for the next time Kalina blogs. She's too busy to type nowadays, so I decided to use it anyway.

Kalina is turning everything into a push toy.

Kalina is turning everything into a push toy.

She's practicing a "big-girl" laugh and still getting excited at every doggie she sees. She can sign "all done" (I think) and continues to love applause for all her accomplishments. Today when I asked her where her mommy was, I think (or pretend) she smiled and pointed at me (was the smile one of pity? "Poor Mommy doesn't know where she is! Silly Mommy!). Her favorite toy at the moment is a musical butterfly, which I have a love-hate relationship with since it flaps and sings every time I so much as set my foot down too heavily, yet entertains my child.

Kalina celebrated Mother's Day, by the way, by sleeping in until 5:45 (yes, we were thrilled) and looking mighty cute in her dress.

And that's all for tonight's blog as the majority of the day's ration of brain cells are strewn about the floor along with half of Kalina's dinner and several pieces of garbage I've been letting her play with.

Photo: Mother's day!

World's tiniest walker

World's tiniest walker aims to take over world

Baby Kalina Odegaard, 17 1/2 lbs. and 10 months, is officially walking, having been spotted taking several independent steps in a row throughout the day.

"I've been working on this for about 10 months now," the petite girl stated. "I've noticed that most of the world's rich and famous people can walk, so I decided this would be a good first step toward my ultimate goal of world domination. Pun intended."

"They also all eat their vegetables," her mommy commented wryly.

Kalina had been cruising around the furniture, stairs and Mommy's legs for weeks now, and had already been taking a few cautious isolated steps when her progress erupted this afternoon with four unprovoked steps in a row.

"I was holding a toy, and it just kind of happened," Kalina boasted. "Sometimes I walk better when I'm holding something. Mommy's hands work best, of course, but today I didn't need them. Mommy said something about the 'feather in Dumbo's cap,'" but I didn't know what she meant by that."

The young girl then outlined an elaborate plan for the next few months that culminates in her becoming the planet's sole human ruler. Too detailed to list here, the plan's highlights include an army of fuzzy squirrels and pink cupcakes for the masses.

Kalina's mommy claims to be thrilled about Kalina's newfound bipedal mobility, despite fellow parents' warnings that "now it really gets tough."

"I've spent about half of the baby's life stooped over helping her walk. I don't think they make enough Advil to take care of that kind of back pain," she informed bystanders. "Besides," she added, "there's nothing more angsty than a future world ruler who can't even walk yet."

When asked how she felt about finally being able to walk, Kalina emitted a kind of patience far beyond her years, mentioning the fact that she still has a lot of work to do.

"Really, I won't be happy until I can run," she said. "At lightspeed. But most importantly, I need to keep the end goal in mind: being the first baby--nay, toddler--to take over the world."

Photo: Kalina practices walking today in her cute new mommy-made diaper

Video: Yet to come. My hard drive has crashed, as has my computer--to the floor yesterday from the counter where I was trying to get it fixed, at the hands of Kalina.