The first week home

Me and my birthday present!

Naomi is home! And we think she likes it! Even though she's spent most of the time sleeping (most of the daytime, anyway).

Day 1: We arrived home on my birthday! What a present! I'd celebrated myself last weekend--now it was time to celebrate Naomi. The big sisters had been kept up from their nap to greet their new little sister, and did so with appropriate exuberance. I learned that while I was away, Kalina had mastered Daddy's dart gun, which she could fire with surprising accuracy as Elise darted among the darts retrieving them. I was pleased to see that the girls were alive and well, although it took me a bit to get reacquainted with the fridge and pantry.

Ready to go home!

Day 2: Naomi's first visit to the pediatrician! At 8:15 a.m. Why this cruel timing? Because it's safer for the newborns to arrive before the germs do. I threw a few things in a diaper bag, and Naomi and I headed out just the two of us (our first mommy-daughter date!). We discovered that she weighed 5 lbs. 11 oz.--the same as she had the day before when leaving the hospital. But this was a good thing--many babies are still losing weight at that point. I no longer felt quite so bad about the long stretch of time I'd allowed her to sleep the previous night. Naomi is perfectly healthy! We discussed how to keep her that way, and the doctor advised me to be as pushy with hand-washing as a first-time mom. But he also said that now's a pretty good time to have a newborn--not to many germs floating around yet, and we can always go to a park if we need to get out. We scheduled a bunch more appointments (the next one is at 2 weeks), and headed back to the safety of home.

Home!!

Having slept relatively well the night before (owing to the ultra-sleepy newborn stage combined with the fact that since we're not first-time parents, we can nod and smile at the nurses' commands to wake our baby every three hours to eat), I began to put myself and the house back in order while Naomi slept, and slept and slept. I did wake her often to eat in the daytime, and I did hold her a lot. Who could resist?

And we hit a milestone! Not one that's on any of the books, but since it was cute, I'll write it down. Naomi started smiling in her sleep: big, goofy grins, no less! What was she dreaming of? Couldn't have been puppies, ice cream or snow on Christmas mornings, but it must have been something special to her. Milk? Being swaddled? The adorable outfits she's been wearing? Mommy???

The big girls continued to want to hold Naomi, the only downside being that Naomi cries almost every time they hold her. Both big girls are very understanding, however--even Elise knows that babies cry all the time. She is quick, however, to have me take the baby back. As is Daddy at times.

The baby is just hanging out,
happy and awake. I had to
get a picture.

With a sleepy baby and an extra pair of hands at home, I made dinner! Actually, Naomi woke up just as I was about to start, so I started dinner and directed Matt through the rest of it. Regardless, we had a real meal, and Naomi joined us.

Day 3: Daddy and the big girls went to church. Naomi slept, and I continued my quest to make the house look decent again. The big girls decided that diaper changes are worth dropping everything to watch, and that the swing makes music. Now, swing music plays on repeat for hours every day. They are not yet sick of it. Nope, not them.

I'd noticed that the baby, for the most part, spent her time during the day sleeping, eating or crying. There's more to life! I wanted to tell her. But for one of the first times today, Naomi's eyes were open and not tearing up--and in this moment, she noticed something really cool waving in front of her face: her hand! She was entertained for at least a minute, and I even caught it on film.

The baby first spots her hand
Cool, she thinks.

Daddy babysat Naomi for the first time on his own, while Kalina, Elise and I got frozen yogurt! All went well until it came time for Daddy to take off a Band-Aid the nurse had put on Naomi after her Vitamin K shot. Poor Daddy gets all the tough jobs. It was stuck tight (an alcohol swab helped), and fortunately I arrived home just in time to pick up the pieces.

Day 4: I was tired, probably having overdone it the previous few days, and so was the baby. While the more intrepid family members enjoyed a trip to the zoo, Naomi and I put our feet up and rested. We needed it: I'd been on my feet too much, and Naomi was, after all, less than a week old.

We've learned by now that Naomi prefers being held. Sometimes she's too sleepy to notice, but the rest of the time she'd like to be warmly cuddled in someone's arms. She's not too picky most of the time, but has been known to play favorites (sorry, Daddy).

I really like this hand!

We started tummy time, an unpopular attempt to make sure Naomi doesn't end up having to wear a helmet to reshape her head. She managed to roll herself over, having had enough of that silliness (you'll thank me later, Sweetie!). It doesn't help that anytime she's awake, she's hungry.

Nights had been deteriorating, so we may have purposely tried to keep Naomi up a bit in hopes that we could help her learn that daytime lasts from about 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., not 4 p.m. to 4 a.m.

Day 5: Our re-education process may have paid off! Naomi slept several very healthy chunks of time last night all by herself. I slept so long (2 and 3 hours at a time!) I was almost disoriented upon awaking, and Matt got his third full night since the baby was born, a fact that he doesn't feel like discussing. :)

Nursery sweet nursery. Couldn't
resist doing a little decorating for my
newest little girl!

Matt, Kalina and Elise spent much of the day at Grandpa's house and a children's museum, while I tried to relax on my last day of "maternity leave." Naomi tried to relax, too, mostly in my arms.

Day 6: We decided that our first day without Matt should be a "Big Girl Fun Day!" We dressed Naomi in a cute outfit, made chocolate chip cookie bars, enjoyed a few "big sister" presents, had a friend over in the afternoon and ordered pizza for supper.

Naomi and I learned that newborn sleep is random. She spent a good 24 hours needing to be held in order to sleep (including the previous night), or simply not sleeping but choosing, instead, to remain in a "fussy wakeful" state. I spent about the same amount of time typing things like, "Newborn sleep patterns" and "Why should it be this difficult to get my 1-week-old to sleep?" and "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?" into Google. I learned that it's me, not her. Newborn sleep is, for all intents and purposes, random.

In other news, Naomi's umbilical cord stump came off! It's no less weird and unsettling the third time than the first. Fortunately, the friend who visited is a nurse, and she assured me that everything looks great.

Day 7: Continuing the theme of random newborn sleep, Naomi drifted off to sleep in her crib, with only a little Mommy help, for her first nap of the day. I learned that she likes to be petted on the forehead, like a kitten, to help her relax and close her eyes. She spent the rest of the day peacefully napping acting like last night, another tough one in which we couldn't set the baby down if we expected her to sleep, never happened--I'm hoping it bodes well for tonight. When Kalina woke me up in the morning, it took me a good two minutes to realize she wasn't Elise. Ah, sleep deprivation--my old constant companion! But Naomi sure is cute. I dressed her for success in one of her most adorable outfits and carried on with the day.

The big girls visited their new preschool classrooms with Grandpa and met their teachers, a day I hated to miss but couldn't justify risking my newborn's health for. After all, what's germier than a preschool classroom?

Kalina and Elise remained excited about their new sister, and are always happy to check on Naomi, shush her, sing sweet made-up lullabies to her, wave toys in front of her face, swing her in her swing and turn on her infernal swing music (and, more often than not, leave the room right afterward and stranding me with it). Every diaper change is a spectacle sport, and the goodwill they feel toward their little sister has not yet faded into the jealous resentment I'm keenly watching for.

I'm grateful the weather is hot now (it switched from gorgeous to blistering as I entered the hospital) because it gives us a good reason to hole up inside. The girls are playing wonderfully together, and I even get to put my feet up now and then. Having nearly driven myself into labor with all the preparation I did in July and August, I think I've earned as much of a rest as I can possibly get. In fact, it's almost cozy having a newborn!

And that concludes our first week at home! Here's hoping they can all be so sweet!

Some of the highlights of Naomi's photo shoot in the hospital:

Welcoming Naomi Anne!

Naomi Anne! 

Naomi Anne is here! Earlier than any of us was expecting! And we're delighted to be graced by her presence all the sooner! And equally thrilled that by not entering the world on a Saturday, she's already shaking things up in our family.

It was a bright and sunny Tuesday and the big girls and I were going about our usual business, as I was pretty confident we'd have at least until the end of the week before our new little one made her debut. We enjoyed a park playdate with friends in the morning, then checking off a few more of the tasks on my, "Much easier to do pre-newborn" to-do list. This had me trekking through Target with a full cart, and may have contributed in some small way to our baby's appearance. I noticed myself feeling increasingly contraction-y and crummy (as I had been for a couple days prior), and enough so that I mentioned to Matt that we weren't necessarily not having a baby that night.

When you suspect you're in labor the first time, you drink plenty of water, time contractions, rest up and Facebook your friends. When it's the third time around, you put in a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, straighten the house a bit, put fresh batteries in the camera, finish prepping the carseat and pack your hospital bag (after all, the baby wasn't supposed to come until the weekend). So it wasn't until my head hit the pillow at 10:30 that I paid much attention to the fact that contractions were coming every 4-5 minutes.

But the baby wasn't supposed to come until Saturday! Why do I keep mentioning this? Because both of my previous deliveries happened at about 39 weeks, laboring on Friday night and delivering on a Saturday. Like clockwork. This would've put me in labor on my birthday, I should add.

So I worked on getting to sleep, which I did succeed in for about an hour (more than for any of my previous kids). Not too long after I woke up from that, Grandpa was arriving and Matt and I were leaving for the hospital.

The weigh-in!

I was surprised to find that my contractions were still quite bearable. I was even more surprised when they stopped the second we walked onto the labor and delivery floor. And quite annoyed when I almost got sent home (after all, I'm a third-time mommy, I know when I'm in labor and as long as I'm going to be up all night, let's have a baby instead of doing this again tomorrow night!). Unfortunately, the monitor showed that the baby's heart rate was dipping occasionally, but fortunately, that and the fact that I was, actually, having regular contractions 3-4 minutes apart (just not very painful) made them admit me.

Newly born

The moon was full that night, and possibly not out of sheer coincidence (from everything Matt could grill out of every nurse he asked), labor and delivery was a hopping place. I was lucky to get a room, (and even luckier later on to get a nice recovery room). In very little pain, I dozed. This made my contractions go away again. I wondered if I should just go home.

But my doctor and nurse had other ideas when I consulted them a while later. For one, the weak contractions had actually made progress! They were real, they just didn't hurt much at all. The next news was that my doctor wanted me to go ahead and get the epidural, and start me on a trickle of Pitocin to get things going a little better. The baby, by the way, was doing just fine.

Look what I have! A baby!

The fact that I had a shot at a relatively pain-free labor actually took a while to sink in. I was opposed to the idea at first, having had much more painful labors than I'd hoped for with the first two. Could it really be this easy? Should it? Then I realized that I was the crazy one, not them. The anesthesiologist was in my room within 30 minutes.

Epidural safely in place, however, I briefly engaged in a somewhat alarming struggle against low blood pressure. We fixed the problem soon enough, and shortly after I was  reading, dozing and watching The Price is Right as the baby did the hard work of getting ready to be born. The attentive nurse helped keep me comfortable.

When it was almost time, my doctor arrived for a casual chat. She was early because she'd had several cancellations in her schedule. But in reality, she was just about right on time, and after less than 5 minutes of catching up about our kids, it was time to push.

At 5, Kalina is a lot more eager to
hold a newborn than she was at 2!

Naomi was out within 10 pushes, crying nicely (the only time I like to hear crying!), more than Kalina and less intensely than Elise. She had a short little umbilical cord, but it was enough to make her the first cord blood donor in our family (the other girls having been born on Saturdays where, in Durham, they didn't have anyone to collect the cord blood). Good plan being born on a Wednesday, Baby!

Naomi Anne was born at 1:30 p.m., weighing 6 lbs. 1 oz., and 18 inches long. The smallest of our three small babies! (But in her defense, the earliest!)

She has dark brown hair, very dark blue eyes, very light eyelashes and--most surprising--a dimple on each cheek! But where did they come from?

The big sisters (and Grandpa) descended upon us in the evening for dinner! Kalina and Elise were overjoyed to meet the new baby, and tossed around lots of "sweet!" "cute!" and "baby!" Kalina noted that the baby's feet looked cold, and expertly covered them up with a blanket. And Elise grinned proudly, ear to ear, the whole time it was her turn to hold Naomi. I wonder if little Naomi knows how excited we all are to have her join our little family!

The bundle is twice as big as the
baby!

We also worked on pronouncing Naomi, a name they distrusted at first, but quickly fell in love with. Thank goodness for the practice: otherwise, the poor girl might grow up thinking she's to be called, "Meeomi!"

Naomi's first couple of days have been lovely. She's perfectly healthy and perfectly beautiful. Her only hardship in life, so far, is that she seems to have been born with a tummy full of amniotic fluid that she spent her first 18 hours or so spitting up and enduring some tummy pain over. Poor thing! She still seems to have some gas pains, but hopefully they'll calm down as her tummy gets used to having something other than amniotic fluid in it. She also gets really fussy when she needs to sleep. But don't we all?

Pancakes, yogurt, fruit and a cookie,
our first meal together as a family
of 5!

I have learned a few things about Naomi already. First, the spasmodic tapping I felt coming from her in-utero is her foot. It just kicks like that sometimes. She likes to cuddle and thought being on her tummy was just the best for her newborn photo shoot yesterday (pictures to come--she's already proving herself extremely photogenic). And she slept well last night--I was worried she had adjusted her sleep-to-eating ratio a little too far toward the sleep end, but her final weighing at the hospital showed her weight at 5 lbs. 11 oz., which means she only lost 5% of her birthweight. The nurse assured me that was excellent!

And, as the best birthday gift ever, I got to bring her home today. No, I did not put a bow on her. Yes, I am tempted to.

Look at my beautiful eyes!

Kalina, when we brought Naomi home: "Ooooohhhh look at her cute little outfit! Isn't she adorable?!?"

Elise: (sniffing her little sister) "She smells like a baby!"

Now, we're all taking turns holding the cuddly little bundle, and she's alternating between tolerating and enjoying the attention.

 We're all so grateful to God for this newest little blessing! We can't wait to see what life has in store for her--and what she has in store for us!

Elise's sleep journey: Part 1

Every child is special. And so is every child's sleep. As most of you know by now, we're fairly obsessed with sleep here at the Odegaard household: possibly because we all do so much better when we get enough.

We're all (even Kalina) on a quest to help Elise get the best, most quantificous sleep possible. Here's a summary of the first step in her journey, as designated by the fact that I have the time to write this now.

When Elise was born, after all the ooohing and aaahhing, I began to eye the girl a bit suspiciously. After all, she was a newborn: not only are they notoriously rocky sleepers (asleep in the daytime, awake at night), but they all vary, just like bigger people do.

Just as some newborns grow up to be successful biologists or writers while other less fortunate newborns grow up to be clowns and politicians, some newborns are the rave of their mommies' blogs and Facebook statuses for their lengthy naps and nighttimes, while others' sleep habits are only bemoaned in the same venues.

How would Elise and I get along? I wondered. I'm positive we'll find some things in common (already have: we both enjoy a well-placed window), but until then, will be both be sleeping? Or not?

When anticipating this new baby, I counted on the fact that newbors sleep a lot during the day. I pictured playing with Kalina, helping my older child not feel quite so displaced in her new family, while Elise dozed happily by our sides despite tumbling blocks and toddler shrieks of delight. If this wasn't the case, I had no further strategies: all hope would be lost.

And true to newborn form, Elise slept just fine for the first couple weeks--even nighttimes weren't too bad. I breathed a sigh of relief and focused all my energy in smoothing sisterly relations while Elise dozed in her swing. But I knew from experience that teaching a baby to sleep after the first month is about as difficult as instructing a baby in the fine art of French cooking, so I sent Matt to the library and he came home with armfuls of our old favorite sleep books (and some new ones).

Elise's sleep deteriorated as I read up on ideal waketimes and newborn brain mechanisms, and by the time I felt the slightest bit equipped, I needed all the help I could get. Our philosophy of "she's a newborn, she'll sleep when she needs to," had been fun, but it had also produced a wildly overtired baby who wasn't sleeping much more than our toddler. Trouble. Fortunately, help was on the way.

The Baby Whisperer's book had struck a chord with me. A combination of no-nonsense and a soft heart who advocates understanding your baby, the author offered some concrete techniques for getting a good night--and day--of sleep. Perhaps I was thinking a bit too wistfully, but I also liked her promise that, if I timed put-down correctly, I could simply hold my baby swaddled in a dark room for five minutes, put the baby in the crib, and walk confidently away, anticipating that not only would the baby fall asleep on her own, but she would stay asleep for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Sign me up!

My initial problem was that, although I only skimmed certain sections of the Baby Whisperer's book, I never saw her mention what to do if you have a toddler trying to scale the side of your baby's crib while you put the baby down in it. Fortunately, after a week or so of trailing behind me into Elise's room, Kalina has decided that she has better things to do with her time while I put the baby down for endless naps. She also rarely attends diaper changes anymore.

I began first thing in the morning, having already noticed that Elise likes nothing better than a good nap almost exactly an hour after waking up. This is also convenient for me, as I can deal with the toddler whirlwind of: "Kalina wants a hardboiled egg to eat on the picnic table. Read a book. The cat is stuck behind the chair and Kalina can't get the cat out! Potty," without having to drag Elise through all of it, poor girl.

I followed instructions to the T, walking confidently away after I'd laid Elise in her crib. Then, at Elise's beckoning, I came back and put the pacifier back in her mouth about a million times, probably, and I might have rocked her a bit (to make sure she's drowsy), and finally she fell asleep. For 20 minutes.

What do you even do with a baby who only sleeps 20 minutes? Or 30? Or 5? First-time moms on the message boards I occasionally visit dreamily talked about holding their baby for all naps. Meanwhile, I did loads of laundry, kept the house clean-ish, baked and freelanced while managing a toddler, too. It's a world of difference.

I repeated the nap routine (sometimes resorting to the swing or carseat when nothing was working) through the next day, and the next, and the next until it seemed that most of my time was spent in a dark room, and I'd blink whenever I saw sunlight. As you can imagine, the addition of darkness to my repeated failure did nothing to improve my frustration. Sometimes the baby would sleep an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, and sometimes not at all, despite hours of trying.

The sleep books told me to put her down earlier: I did. A small part of my brain told me to put her down later: I did. I put her down full and swaddled, I let her fuss a bit, or sat there holding the pacifier in. I ignored the Baby Whisperer and drove her around in the car. I rocked her until my arms were about to fall off. I ran up and down the stairs as I tended to her needs and the toddler's needs at the same time. I spent entire days focusing on naps while Matt and Kalina went out and had all kinds of fun. You name it, I tried it. I could not force the baby to sleep.

It wouldn't have grieved me so much had I hadn't seen Elise's frustration as well: here was a baby who wanted to nap, but couldn't, whether I helped her or left her alone, put her down early or late, etc.! What was I doing wrong? Why can I do all the right things and still not have a napping baby, while other people do nothing and have excellent sleepers? Poor Matt got very tired of having his deer hunting conversations interrupted as I bemoaned Elise's poor sleep. It was officially an obsession.

And then I gave myself a break, and went back to having an overtired baby, and reaching out for help on Facebook (thank you to all who responded, you cheered me up considerably!).

After wallowing in despair for the rest of the day, I decided that there's no budging around the crib nap: Elise hadn't had a good swing nap in days, and wasn't getting any less aware of the toddler bustling around her. I tried harder. Elise seemed to nap a million little times a day, but at least she was napping.

As I persisted, Elise matured, so that about the time I really needed to see progress, she instituted a long morning nap. The household breathed a sigh of relief.

Now, Elise eats once at night (and occasionally wakes up just to be settled one or two other times), and once usually in the 5 a.m. hour (night? morning? we haven't decided). Regardless of when she eats, I make sure she's awake "for the day" by 6:30. She naps an hour afterward (so, around 7:30, give or take), and usually sleeps until 9:30-ish. Yes, it's true!

On a good day, Elise will catnap in the car if we head out after that, and then take a long afternoon nap--but these days only happen maybe 2 times per week, usually on the weekends when Matt's babysitting. The rest of the day, she'll take 45-minute naps, or less if we're out and about. She's not always happy that she can't get back to sleep, but we all manage. And she seems to be dropping her late evening nap, although she still needs to sleep at that time so I'm not really sure what I'll do (probably move bedtime earlier or distract her with a bath).

And our routine is as simple as the Baby Whisperer promised it could be. Simpler, really--Elise doesn't really require rocking anymore, which I'm admittedly a tiny bit disappointed in.

I learned a little about Elise during this time: mostly, that she can't be awake for more than about an hour (sometimes a bit more if we're out) without getting overtired. She also hates being moved or messed with when she's sleepy. "Just give me a swaddle and a pacifier and a dark room and leave me alone!" she seems to say.

She also really can put herself to sleep, as long as the timing is right. Sometimes even without the pacifier, I'd guess.

And it also seems that she's willing to be a decent crib napper, or a decent on-the-go napper, but not both, so I can picture us having to limit our outings in the future. Sleep is important. We will maintain a balance, though--I refuse to stay inside the house for the entirety of the baby's first year just so I can put Elise down for all her naps. Kalina and I both have our sanity to maintain. So we will stay in only on the really cold or wet days.

I must admit that I'm a bit proud for having almost figured out this whole sleep thing, and proud of Elise for the same reason. However, I'm not ready to claim success quite yet: we still have the 4-month sleep regression in our path. I'm sure you'll hear from me again then. Let's hope it's good news.

Photo: Elise helps decorate the Christmas tree!

Pediatrician visit!

Today, all three of us ventured to the pediatrician. Elise needed her 2-month checkup and Kalina needed a flu shot.

Yesterday, I let Kalina know that she'd be getting a shot. We practiced with her doctor kit and I assured her she'd get a treat afterward. Possibly thanks to this preparation, Kalina was surprisingly calm heading out the door this morning. I thought I'd have to drag her kicking and screaming, but she was actually more cooperative than usual.

We made it there on time and were called back, much to Kalina's aggravation, as we were in the middle of the first waiting-room book she'd picked up. Elise, for her part, was wide-eyed--not taking the nap I'd hoped she'd get before her appointment.

In the exam room, I chatted with the nurse, and then got Elise out of her carseat. As I was preparing to undress Elise for the weighing, I heard quiet sobbing coming from the chair behind me. The reality of an impending shot had finally sunken in for the poor 2-year-old. Fortunately, the nurse agreed we could take pity on her and do Kalina's vaccination first. She headed out to get the shot ready as I tried my hardest to pull Kalina's jacket off and roll up her sleeve. Not easy, least of all on Kalina's nerves and my protective instinct.

I was finally able to relax her a bit by convincing her to sing "Sing a Song of Sixpence" with me--her favorite song.

And then it was over. The nurse obliged my request to not put on a band-aid, and instead let Kalina play with it like a sticker. Kalina proudly wore it on the back of her hand. The tears were soon over, and she played contentedly and quietly with Lamby for the rest of the appointment (I think I even saw her poke her finger into Lamby's stomach like she was giving the poor animal a shot). Maybe she thought she'd get another shot if she misbehaved.

And finally, onto Elise! My littlest girl weight 9 lbs., 12 1/2 oz.--I believe just half an ounce mor than what Kalina weighed at this age. She's in the 25th percentile for weight, and 40th for height, at 22 inches long. Her head is a nice, normal 36 1/2 inches around--the 50th percentile.

I brought up my concerns about sleep: is it okay if Elise still sleeps on Daddy in the recliner at night? How about if for naps she only sleeps in 5-minute increments a few times a day, occasionally? How hard should I work at getting her to nap? Which of the sleep books is best? Really, I was asking "when am I going to be able to carry on a conversation without mixing up all the words again?"

I like our doctor. His philosophy is: the sleep books each work for different kids. If you want to prioritize sleep now (like having your child sleep on your husband at night), that's completely fine, just realize you'll have to undo it somehow later. All you can do is all you can do--you can't force a kid to sleep. And balance and perspective are important. These are all things I knew, but was glad to hear from a professional.

We then moved on to other matters such as Elise's heart murmur. It's still there, very localized and very small. Nobody's worried.

Kalina watched as the doctor checked Elise's eyes, hips and everything else--all is well. We also chatted about grad school and such. It was a very laid-back visit.

And finally it was time for poor Elise's shots. I wished I could bribe Elise with a treat, as I had Kalina. I also wished she only had to get a tiny flu shot. But no, she needed three shots and there wasn't much I could do to make her feel better.

It's clear that Elise is tuned into pain--the poor baby did not calm down well, and really was only quiet after the experience overwhelmed her with sleep. I was admittedly glad she was getting the nap that she needed, and also that she'd probably sleep for a while, and that she can now have Tylenol.

After finishing the half-read waiting-room book, we returned home via Dunkin' Donuts, where Kalina persuaded me to get her a donut hole for in the car and a chocolate sprinkle donut for at home (where it was soon lunchtime). In my defense, I only gave her half of the sprinkle donut and ate the rest myself just now.

Elise has slept for most of the day, and I've used the time to get her used to crib-sleeping, catch up on quality playtime with Kalina and do some light housework (including cooking dinner!). I was really, really, really hoping to use the time to get a nap in myself (my day having started at 4:53), but Kalina threw a wrench into that plan by utterly refusing hers.

I hope Elise feels better tomorrow--I can tell she's still hurting a bit and needing to sleep it off.

I am incredibly proud of both of my girls, by the way. Kalina for being such a trooper, even though she was so scared, and Elise for smiling a few times today despite everything. They both deserve far more donuts than I can provide.

*This post is thanks to Aunt Nancy for letting me borrow her computer. My laptop got milk spit on it. Yes, spit, not spilt. Only half of the keyboard works.

Adventures With Two: Good Mommy-Bad Mommy

There are lots of times in a mommy's life when she's presented with two choices. Do you change the baby's diaper after she's simultaneously pooped and drifted off to sleep, or let her be? Do you let the toddler have ice cream and a donut, both in the same day, because, well, look how happy she is, or do you deprive her because two treats in one day would be crazy?

Although in my sane moments I realize that in some challenges of mommydom there actually aren't right answers, at the time there's often no way to escape the choice without at least a little mommy guilt. "I left my baby in a dirty diaper because it took 2 hours of rocking to get her to finally sleep!" Or, "I let the toddler have both treats, now her teeth will rot and fall out and it'll be all my fault, plus she'll be spoiled!"

However, this particular Wednesday morning I had no doubt about how to be a good mommy. Kalina's playgroup was planning to tour the fire station, and with Kalina's ongoing fascination about fire trucks, we had to be there. At 10:00 a.m., as a matter of fact.

The fire station being one goal of the morning, the other goal was to get poor Elise, whose sleep even at this tender age is always at the mercy of her older sister, to take a decent nap. Anywhere, but preferably in her crib. Or if not in her crib, in her bouncy seat. Or if not in her bouncy seat, in my arms, which is increasingly difficult for her with all the distractions that come along with getting a toddler ready for the day (have you ever tried to dress an unwilling 2-year-old while holding a floppy newborn you're trying to rock into dreamland? It's fun for no one.).

Those were my only goals, and it shows: The house is a mess, I'm wearing no makeup (not unusual these days) and was neither fed well nor particularly hydrated this morning. We also watched TV first thing. For all this, I cared not. I had my goals.

An hour and 20 minutes after embarking on goal #2 (the nap), Elise had finally drifted off in her bouncy seat. I silently cheered and ushered Kalina around the house, finalizing snacks and all our luggage for the 30-minute fire station visit.

At times, in mommyhood, you can cross your fingers and be lucky in even the riskiest of your endeavors. Sometimes you actually can distract your toddler from the fact that you forgot her snack cup at home, or leave your baby in a diaper that probably doesn't have any poop in it, and you come out ahead. So when the time came to unswaddle Elise and transfer her to her carseat, I banked on the hope that she'd fall back asleep instead of waking hungry and screaming. It just had to work out, right? Kalina needed to get to the fire station, and it was high time for us to be going!

It did not work out. Elise wasn't even mellow-hungry, she was starving-hungry, and, really, I couldn't blame her.

I hate moments like this--when you have to choose between two kids. Does one child miss the fire station trip? Or does the other child go hungry for 15 minutes, and possibly cry all the way to the fire station?

Both kids were in the car by now. I wondered if I could tide Elise over with a few sips from her bottle.

Nope. This was no "I could just snack a little bit" baby--her hunger was the real thing. I writhed inwardly. And then, with a personality that strives to disappoint no one, I resolved to drive while holding the bottle for the baby, even though I would need to dislocate at least one arm to do so.

And this is when I became a bad mommy--probably the worst in my social circle. In order to transfer myself to the driver's seat, I had to prop the bottle up for Elise for a minute. And lookee here, the baby is happy, the toddler is happy and I'm happy--all in the same second.

And so I did the unthinkable--I left it propped, and started to drive. There we were: Kalina munching on her snack cup, me driving via the view in the backseat mirror as I watched for any signs of choking, and the 1-month-old contentedly gulping her bottle with no one to hold it or her. I was glad the drive to the station was only 10 minutes, with plenty of possible stops along the way.

I hadn't heard anything about this practice being illegal, but I couldn't help but imagine that if social services heard about it they'd cart my kids away. I figured that anything that makes Mommy's life easier must be illegal, like leaving your baby in the swing too much or letting your toddler eat raw cookie dough, and lots of it, because while she cleans off the beater you can tackle the mess in the kitchen. I hoped we wouldn't pass any police cars on the way.

Then I realized Elise needed a diaper change, too. We stopped a mile down the road at a park for me to check on Elise and change her. She was mostly done with the bottle, and let out a little burp when I unbuckled her seat belt. Fastest feeding ever.

But it gets worse. It soon became apparent that I'd forgotten to restock the diaper bag after our last outing. Although I was prepared with crackers for Kalina and a clean outfit for Elise, there was not a single diaper in the large bag. Worst. Mommy. Ever.

Fortunately, I was once a good mommy, and had stocked some of Kalina's diapers in the seat pocket. I pulled one out. It was probably a size 3, which says two things. First, it was realistically too big for Elise, reaffirming my original incompetence. What's more, it's probably been almost a year since Kalina has worn a size 3. The diaper would fit neither child well. *sigh*

But it would have to do.

And then, out of sheer desperation (I knew we were running late, and also had realized my changing pad was at the bottom of Kalina's laundry hamper), and following the basic principle mentioned earlier that sometimes just work out, I decided it'd be a good idea to try to change the diaper while Elise was still in the carseat. It was not.

I breathed a sigh of relief, though, when I saw that the diaper wasn't actually too bad of a fit for Elise, and that we had 3 minutes left to be at the fire station on time .

Once there (late, of course), Good Mommy prevailed. Kalina had a lovely time and Elise took a nice nap in her cozy wrap. Worth all the trouble. (see pictures)

The super-friendly and patient firefighters let our toddlers explore an entire fire truck, and wander at will around the garage. It was great fun, and although most were a bit too timid to actually "drive" the truck, they all appreciated the opportunity.

Photo 1: Kalina "riding" a fire truck.
Photo 2: We all made it!
Photo 3: The "boys" playgroup that Kalina is an honorary member of. I like how she's the only one smiling.

Pediatrician visit!

Elise is a month old! And yesterday we went to the pediatrician to celebrate.

The day before I spent almost entirely trying to get Elise to nap, having been promised by all the reputable sleep books that her life would be ruined (and so would ours) if she became overtired. Based on her sleeping patterns that day, we're all doomed. The night wasn't so great either.

Yesterday, however, Elise decided to make up for it by taking the awesomest nap during Kalina's naptime. That I woke her from so we could make it to the doctor's office in time. That I maybe could've napped during. She fell back to sleep in her carseat.

We easily arrived 10 minutes early at the doctor's office and I recalled the early days with Kalina when I was perpetually rushed. I like being a second-time mom.

The receptionist signed us in without so much as asking for Elise's still non-existant insurance card, and we were shown into the exam room at lightning speed.

I had to wake poor Elise up to take off her clothes, adding injury to insult with how cold it was in the exam room. Accordingly, she was not happy on the scale, in true Odegaard Baby form. However, Mommy was happy, as the scale read 7 lbs., 15 ounces--Elise is gaining almost an ounce a day and not running anyone ragged in the process. And no wonder she's just about out of some of her newborn clothes! *sob*

We headed back to the exam room, where Elise fell back asleep within the 5-second wait we had for the doctor to enter.

The doctor and I discussed reflux (Elise may have some reflux issues) and sleeping (apparently, she's very normal with her 5-minute naps, and she'll be fine despite what the sleep books say). Then we woke Elise up yet again for her examination. Here's what we found:

The baby is 20 3/4 inches long. Her height is the 30th percentile, and her weight is in the 20th. Her head circumference, however, is in the 5th. Everything is fine and normal.

As for her heart, the doctor couldn't hear the murmur! However, he admitted to not being very good at hearing the smallest heart murmurs, which Elise's is. At her last visit, he told me, the murmur was ranked a 1 on a size scale of 1-6. We'll find out on Thursday whether or not it's completely gone.

Elise promptly fell asleep in my arms again as I picked her up, and I finished chatting with the doctor. Then I woke the baby up yet again doing a diaper change and putting her clothes back on. She went back to sleep in her carseat. *sigh*

Looks like I have yet another perfect baby!

Photo: I'm getting bigger! At least compared to this tiny duck.

What to do with two

Before Elise was born, I thought that being the caretaker for two small children would be impossible. How would any of us get anything to eat? Could we all manage to get clean every day? And most worrisome, how was any of us going to get any sleep at all, ever? I decided it was hopeless. Part of me wasn't looking forward to the challenge of proving myself wrong.

And then Elise came along and nothing mattered except the fact that the four of us were nice and cozy in our little house and there were moments when all of us were happy at once.

And then Matt went back to work, and I've had to face that which can reduce even the boldest and strongest among us to tears: managing a toddler and a newborn. You've heard about the best of the worst of my first day. Since then, things have improved (you haven't heard the worst of the worst of the first day, and you won't). I've learned a few things. At one point I thought it was easy, and that lasted at most 10 minutes.

This post is dedicated to all my mommy friends who are facing life with two. Here's how to survive the first few weeks:

1. If someone offers to make you a meal, shout "yes" at the top of your lungs, and then sign them up for a specific day before they can change their minds. No matter how much you love to cook, you will not love to cook while holding a floppy newborn and denying your toddler the privilege of eating the eggshells she's grabbed from the counter.

2. Shower courageously. Got 5 minutes before one is supposed to wake up from her nap and the other is supposed to eat? That means you can take a 4-minute shower! It's okay to assume it's going to work out, because we all need a little hope. Go forth. Shower. Be clean.

3. Get organized and find a system. I have 3 diaper-changing stations that I stock every night. I hate that I have 3 diaper-changing stations, but it works right now. Hopefully I can work my way down to 2 in the next few weeks.

4. Subscribe to a magazine that has nothing to do with kids. Read it occasionally. Talk about what you've learned. Try not to think about your kids for 5 minutes a day. It's hard, but it's one of those things that reminds you you're human, and not a domestic robot like your kids would occasionally like you to believe.

5. Track your accomplishments. It might be "I got the baby to nap in the crib today for 30 minutes!" or "I prevented the toddler from squeezing her entire juice box onto the dining room floor!" instead of "I wrote a book chapter this weekend!" but it matters.

6. When all else fails, sing. You may appease at least one child and if not, at least it'll give you something to concentrate on and drown out the crying.

7. If you feel yourself bouncing back and forth between needy kids like a ping pong ball, just count your blessings that you're not pregnant anymore, because that would make it a lot harder to reach the pacifier that bounced behind the recliner while removing a spray bottle from your toddler's deathgrip.

8. Come up with a strategy each day for what you'll do if your toddler doesn't nap. It could be a special outing, a craft or baking project or a heap of stories that you'll plan to read because that way you'll at least get to sit down.

9. Spoil everyone a little. Bribe your toddler once in a while when you really, really need her to just let you brush your teeth, for goodness sake, so you can get out the door and because she had juice this morning. Hold your baby during your toddler's entire nap, if you enjoy it. Sneak an extra Oreo. You can undo all the bad when you're getting more sleep (or before your children leaves for college, whichever comes first).

10. It's okay to count the minutes until Daddy gets home. Even neurosurgeons and air traffic controllers have easier days than mommies of two, sometimes.

11. Let the electronic babysitters take over occasionally. You're not a bad mommy if every so often one child is sitting in front of the TV while the other is sitting in her swing while you run around like crazy doing laundry and dishes between popping the pacifier back into the baby's mouth. Or so I tell myself.

12. Remember that lots of successful, happy people have two children. Maybe it'll work for us, too.

Photo 1: Kalina helping Elise with tummy time.
Photo 2: Cute!
Photo 3: 3 months later, Kalina is finally riding her birthday tricycle! Parents won the helmet war.

Newborn: take two

I'm going to let you in on an awful little secret. It's one I feel okay sharing because I don't think it'll cause too, too much emotional turmoil down the road for my firstborn since I've hopefully made it clear how delighted I am by her overall.

Here goes:

I'm enjoying the newborn stage the second time around much more than the first.

There, I said it.

It's not that I didn't enjoy Kalina's newborn and infant stages. I occasionally look back and pictures and remember how cute she was and how much fun it was to watch her grow and develop. It's just that many of the times when the camera shutter wasn't clicking, I was tearing my hair out and slowly dying from sleep deprivation. Worst of all, I didn't even know what hit me.

I remember at the time one friend who gave birth to her second a few months after I gave birth to my first told me, not unkindly at all, how much easier it had been with just one (hi, Krista!). "Good thing I won't be having another," I mentally told myself.

And yes, thinking back, it could've been far easier with just one, had I known that my one would eventually sleep through the night, roll over on her own and quit her infernal screaming through every single change of clothes and diaper, for heaven's sake.

But with your first, the shock of "I've been bouncing this baby for 2 hours and she's still awake," or "I just did laundry yesterday and now all my clean shirts have chunky yellow spitup on them so I have nothing nice to wear to the grocery store," and the emotional trauma of the horrid Facebook posts from childless friends that complain "...might not survive, it's 5 am and I'm already awake" leave you withered and fried. [Or possibly worse, "my 3-week-old is sleeping through the night!"]

Can you tell I'm still, to this day, getting over it?

And then the second one comes along. This time, you hardly hear the crying--it's relatively simple to remedy and besides, you've heard worse--and nothing takes you by surprise. You preemptively scatter burp cloths, blankets and pacifiers around the house (only to have them gathered into a big pile by your neat-freak toddler). You develop a strategy and full range of tactics to combat sleep deprivation, reevaluating every evening. Most of all, you remember that it does go rather quickly (in hindsight, only) and that you have a matching hat and booty hand-me-down that will make your cute newborn even cuter, if such a thing were possible.

You know:
-Soon, the baby will learn not to poop at night, which means fewer miserable "diaper changes by Braille"
-Spitup washes out just fine, even without stain stick, until the baby starts solid food.
-Sleep usually gets better before it gets worse, but at least you get a respite.
-Any bad habits you create out of sheer desperation are usually fixable.
These things will all help.

Plus, newborns are remarkably easygoing. You can dress them up in ridiculously cute outfits and lug them all around town and they just go on eating and sleeping and excreting as they've been born to do. Nothing phases them as long as they're in a cozy carrier of some sort.

And of course, it helps that Elise is pretty amazing. We think she already understands the concept of using her hand to keep her pacifier in, and she can even occasionally calm herself down. She likes her swing now and has even been looking at the little dangly things on it that are supposed to entertain babies, but that Kalina never gave a second (or first) thought to. Her hair is still soft and fuzzy, which is fun in the middle of the night when I'm so sleep-deprived that all I can think of is "aw, I'm petting a baby bunny!" She doesn't mind tummy time, and she's starting to be fascinated by lights, which is a very easy-to-entertain phase (they all are for a while).

I do feel bad that I can't pay the same attention to Elise that I did to Kalina. The poor girl gets all but ignored every morning and afternoon, but doted on every second that I'm not trying to rescue her from her big sister's hugs, kisses, and wild jumping (so, when the 2-year-old is asleep). I have a feeling she'll find her own way to budge into the conversation and playtime, though, as she's proven she's not afraid of being vocal.

We have fun personifying Elise and showing her things (and showing her off to Kalina's animals). We put words in her mouth ("Elise loves your new cat shirt, Kalina!") and generally make sure she's part of the family. It's just fun.

I'll admit, though, that we enjoy her most in the daytime. When do newborns sleep through the night?

Photos:
1: Cute
2: Elise's fist bottle! During our family adventure on Saturday (yummy breakfast out and a walk in a garden)
3. Cute

Outnumbered

Sometimes it seems that babies and young children are set up such that they drive their parents to the brink of going crazy, but no farther. It's so we don't give up entirely and run screaming from the house, leaving them to fend for themselves.

Essentially, while Elise is sleeping worse at night than she ever did her first week, Kalina's been rocketed into the terrible two's. The pair wears us out some days. And yet in such a cute way that I know we'll get nostalgic about this in a good 30 years.

And with that sentiment, here's a rundown of yesterday, my first day flying solo:

12 a.m.: Elise and I have been asleep a little more than an hour, despite having been giving it our best shot since 8:30.
1 a.m.: Up feeding Elise.
2 a.m.: I'd promised myself I'd be back to sleep by now, but I'm clearly not. So now I promise myself it can't be much longer.
3 a.m.: After being awake for 2 full hours, I've informed Matt that it's "Mommy's turn to sleep now" and hand him a baby who's all set to conquer the world while I head to bed.
4 a.m.: I'm almost glad to be awoken by Elise's hunger cries from my dream that I'm set to have yet another baby in a few weeks. For a second I'm simply grateful to have just one newborn.
5 a.m.: Elise is pretending to sleep. I fall for it and also sleep.
6 a.m.: Elise is with her daddy, having woken back up. We've agreed that Matt will probably be late to work.
7 a.m.: Matt decides he can make it to work in time. I find my zombie self left with two kids and a rainy day. Kalina senses my overcast mood and decides her favorite word for the day is "no."
8 a.m.: Those of us who can have solid food are finishing breakfast (score 1 for me: I ate breakfast!). The other one is not happy in her swing. Why are my kids never happy in their swing?
9 a.m.: The baby is hungry and there's a soggy toddler refusing to get out of the bathtub. However, I've had a lightning-fast shower and am dressed for success, following my rule of "the worse you feel, the better you should attempt to look." The fickle toddler eventually asks to be gotten out of the tub (after I decide I really don't care if she stays in there), and she reads me Daddy's bug book while Elise eats. She knows more bugs than I do.
10 a.m.: Grandpa is here to take Kalina to storytime! I have given up on getting Kalina completely ready to go (crying baby and "no"-ing toddler having frustrated me beyond what my sleep-deprived state can endure) and instead am reading her "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer." I hustle through the rest of the preparations with Grandpa around to distract the toddler (who doesn't yet misbehave much for him) and take a deep, cleansing breath as I smile and wave goodbye.
11 a.m.: I'm pretending to be human again. Elise has had a bath and a calm, relaxed feeding with no threat of being slightly squashed by her sister. I feel like a better mommy already.
12 p.m.: Kalina has finished a healthy lunch, Elise is sleeping in her swing and I find myself magically able to put Kalina down for her nap in a relatively normal fashion. Normal nowadays requiring far too many "no's" on both our parts. (Kalina: "No, I won't get down from the toilet." Me: "No, I won't read you 37 naptime stories, or even that one book 37 times.")
1 p.m.: I'm eating lunch while feeding Elise while learning from Google that it'll be at least 6 weeks, probably more, before Kalina might even begin to return to her old sweet self.*
2 p.m.: I'm trying to nap while Elise lays next to me and spits her pacifier out every five seconds (but that's not to say she doesn't want it back, immediately, under threat of waking up Kalina).
3 p.m.: I try to convince Kalina to go outside with me and splash in puddles, knowing that if I don't get some fresh air I may not survive they rest of the day. She finally agrees. It's raining harder than I thought so I bring an umbrella and try to at least keep the baby dry. I pretend I'm having fun, but I'm really not, as I have to keep Kalina from throwing important things into the sewer drains or running into the street without holding my hand, and she's tired of taking "no" for an answer (as am I).
4 p.m.: Aunt Nancy arrives. Kalina seems suspicious that Aunt Nancy is going to try to take her away from Mommy (lots of people have been trying to take her away from Mommy lately), but warms up quite well when she sees that Aunt Nancy is really only here for a visit and to empty the dishwasher and pop the pacifier back into Elise's mouth. Having told Kalina "no" as many times as she's told me "no" today (so, a lot), I try to do whatever Kalina wants for playtime, and we end up chasing each other around the house. Aunt Nancy follows with a chicken puppet, at Kalina's request.
5 p.m.: A yummy dinner arrives shortly (courtesy of a friend), and soon after, Matt appears. He's tried to bring me flowers, but the flower shop was closed. Then he tried for chocolate, but the grocery store only had "yucky" ones. So we instead all dig into a bag of some of my favorite cookies that he's managed to secure. Things are looking up!

And I've made it!

*Actually, she's back today! I'm sure we're not out of the woods, but at least they're pretty woods.

Photos:
1. Kalina noticed Elise was wearing her cat sleeper and decided she wanted to wear her long-sleeved cat shirt. Then she was more than happy to pose for a picture with her sister. Aw!
2. Uncle Tom holding Elise for the first time!
3. Elise's first bath! Her umbilical cord stump fell off at 4 days--yikes! But it looked fine according to the doctor and so we're cleared for tub baths. Elise liked it!
4. A nice warm towel.

The new baby balance (and Pediatrician visit!)

Elise is 1 week old. And so is our family of 4. Here are our observations:

1. Elise is so easy! We realize it's early. Kalina slept a lot at this stage, too. But we're thrilled to see she can be happy even when not being held, she sleeps well and long, and even the nightly screamfest seems to have disappeared. We will be keeping her for sure.

2. It's easier to take care of a newborn than a toddler, but possibly more fun to take care of a toddler depending on whether the toddler is in one of her "moods." For instance, you can go out for ice cream with the toddler, but the newborn isn't allowed to leave the house yet. However, the newborn can only make bathtime a tiny bit miserable, whereas a toddler can adeptly turn it into a very wet battle in the blink of an eye.

3. A pediatrician appointment for the newborn that both parents attend can be considered a "date," since the newborn sleeps during the 20-minute drive and the toddler is at home with her Grandpa.

4. When you're short on attention from your parents, and have maybe regressed a little bit, and you yell "potty!" everyone jumps into action. Even if you don't really have to go. Especially if you're already in your crib for naptime.

5. There's basically nothing in this whole new arrangement for the toddler. "You guys have a new baby? Congrats. Now I'd like my snack and a story, pronto," she seems to say. It could be several decades before she thanks us, or at least quits resenting us for this upheaval.

6. When they're cute, they're soooooo cute! Nothing's better than a sweet little newborn, dressed in sweet little newborn clothes that she's still swimming in. And nothing's better than a jubilantly happy toddler at the end of another tough day, even if she's eating dinner off a cutting board on the counter (no knife in sight), and gleefully wallowing in the packing material that the baby's gifts were packed in. And of course, the rare moments when Kalina's busily throwing imaginary hot dogs for Elise to eat are nothing short of precious (I think she got the idea from throwing bread to the ducks at the park, and then one-upped the bread).

7. We have much less adrenaline than we did last time. We could both really use some adrenaline right now.

8. Yes, there is enough love to go around.

Pediatrician visit!

Elise had her 1-week appointment yesterday afternoon. Matt and I both went while Kalina stayed home and, fortunately, napped (a rare occurrence nowadays). It was fun!

The appointment was at the north end of the city--for some reason they're making us trek up to that location for her first two visits. Elise slept the whole way, and then some.

The visit was rather routine--we were grilled on safety and feedings before we had to wake our poor child and subject her to the exam.

Everything looked good. The doctor said her heart sounded different than it did at the previous visit, which could mean the hole is on its way to closing up. She reassured us that there's a good chance when we see the cardiologist everything will be completely closed, and even if not, the problem will be so minor they'll simply send us on our way.

That appointment, by the way, is scheduled for October 21. We won't know much more before then.

And then we went off to weigh the baby. I couldn't help but cheer as the scale noted 6 lbs. 3 oz.--Elise is back at her birth weight at only 6 days old! Being experienced parents, Matt and I both know that means we don't have to wake her at night to eat anymore. We might just survive this after all.

The doctor had us schedule Elise's next appointment for 1 month. While Kalina had an extra weight check and then a 2-week checkup since she was growing a bit more slowly, Elise has done so well there's no need for them to see us before then. Poor Kalina, no wonder she's always hated the doctor's office scale.

As a final note, I'd like to brag that I think I got close to 7 hours of sleep last night, in 3 stretches (and by the way, I did end up waking Elise for them--she was making noises at optimal feeding intervals and I figured if I wasn't sleeping I might as well be feeding the baby)! Thanks, Elise! Even if it doesn't last, it's been nice. Post-baby sleep is officially better than late pregnancy sleep.

Lulling the baby

Once, when Kalina was still very brand new (as opposed to now, when she's practically old hat), I decided to join the age-old ranks of parents who sing their babies to sleep with peaceful lullabies. [side note: has that ever worked?] I sang the first stanza of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Coincidentally, her eyes drooped slightly. I decided to pull out the big guns (to use a phrase of Matt's) and try Braham's Lullaby.

I opened my mouth, and...wait, how does that go again? I was stumped. However, I soon remembered the words went something like this:

Lullaby, and good night,
You're a cute little baby.
It's time to rest, now, go to sleep.
Mommy really wants a shower.
Lullaby, and good night, please sleep right now.

Lullaby, and goodnight,
You still are not sleeping.
Close your eyes, and go to sleep,
So your mommy can shower.
Lullaby, and good night, please sleep right now.

Or at least, that's how the words went that particular day. I've found it's a very adaptable lullaby.

Then there's the very pretty All Through the Night. I found the lyrics, and have translated them into modern words as follows:

Sleep my child and peace attend thee,
[Baby, go to sleep and stay quietly asleep]
All through the night
[All night]
Guardian angels God will send thee,
[Maybe someone else can take care of you for once]
All through the night;
[All night]
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
[It's getting really late]
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
[Everyone else gets to sleep]
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
[But I'm still awake jiggling you until my arms fall off so you can sleep]
All through the night.
[All night]

What a pretty song.

Fortunately, and likely not related at all to lullabies, Kalina is a good sleeper. This means we can keep the lullabies to a minimum, which probably saves both of us some embarrassment.

We also have a CD of Toddler Tunes we sing to occasionally, usually out of sheer boredom (she's systematically rejected all her toys and can't be bothered to sit on Mommy's lap for a story, and Mommy feels like she must stimulate her baby somehow). For a while, Little Bunny Foo Foo was guaranteed to get rave reviews from my critical audience.

The worst part of all these songs is that they're just so great, the toddler who apparently lives in my head just can't resist singing them all day long. Which means that, every night as Kalina sleeps rather peacefully in her crib, I drift off to the lulling sounds of London Bridge.

"I'm possibly the slightest bit hungry," and other loud screams

When assessing Kalina's vocal expressions of displeasure, Matt and I like to rank them on a scale of 1 to 5, not unlike the hurricane scale. Perhaps they are, therefore, more accurately referred to as squalls.

Level 1 crying is what you hear on TV. People without kids start to look concerned, whereas people who have small children barely raise their voices to continue their conversations. This crying will escalate within a minute, but is easily consoled by shifting the baby's position, offering a pacifier, burping her or feeding her.

Level 2 crying is like Level 1, but louder and Kalina's face starts to turn pinker than it already is. It's mildly annoying and we move fast to fix it lest she hold a grudge.

Level 3 crying is when things really start to get serious. Kalina's demands are obviously not being met and she's severely displeased. These are some of the loudest cries, and most disharmonious. They can cause hearing loss, and they make Kalina turn bright red like a sunburn. The good cat runs for cover and the bad one tries to nip Matt on the leg so he'll make it stop (I'm not kidding--she's never threatened the baby, only Matt).

Level 4 crying is truly a feat, because this is when she starts to scream without making any noise. At this point, friends without kids are politely excusing themselves to go home and friends with kids are mentally making notes to never let us babysit. Kalina is now purple.

Level 5 screaming involves sounds apparently only a baby can make. I tried, with no success. Some are almost like a fast clicking, others are Level 4 silent screams that are so intense they've added some noise back in. This type of crying takes at least 15 minutes to calm down from, and then we really have to take it easy the rest of the day (no carseats or onesie changes, for example).

Truthfully, though, Kalina is a benevolent dictator. She is very clear in her demands, as long as they're met immediately and entirely she's good-natured. This means occasionally Mommy gets to use the bathroom during the day and only has borderline carpal tunnel. Kalina's wishes are as follows, in this order:

1. Do I have the munchies? Could I possibly manage to eat a little something? If I'm busting at the seams,
2. Am I held upright, facing out, and is the person holding me walking around so I don't get bored? If I'm held by a human, positioned correctly and well entertained,
3. Do I need a pacifier, even if you have to hold it in the whole time because I only kind of want it and only part of the time? If I'm plugged,
4. Do we need to start counting some sheep (I think there are at least 38 in my nursery)? If I'm well rested,
5. Could I possibly be gassy? If my only bubbles are made of spit,
6. How long has it been since I've been held by my mommy? If I've had plenty of mommy time,
7. I'm not having my onesie changed or fresh out of the tub, am I? If so, make it stop immediately.

I do have a favorite cry. It's when she sticks out her bottom lip, pouts and kind of whimpers, and it, admittedly, makes me chuckle because it's so cute and I know nothing is really wrong. This doesn't even register on the cry scale, kind of like how a lawn sprinkler doesn't make national weather news or even get its own name. I certainly don't inflict anything on Kalina to produce this cry, but it might tempt me to linger a split second before calming her, just to watch. (Truthfully, the cry only lasts a split second before it escalates anyway; otherwise, I'd post a picture for you.)

Even though I often complain that Kalina is fussy and on the bad days nickname her Fusspot, she's really not that bad (once again, if her demands are met). I'd estimate she cries no more than a total of 15-20 minutes a day. The truth is, I might be the one more aptly described as fussy, because what I really mean is that I'm short on patience and was really hoping to be able to change out of my pajamas and perhaps eat lunch. The problem I face is that taking care of Kalina and taking care of myself are usually mutually exclusive, and doing something such as brushing my teeth breaks at least one of Kalina's cardinal rules. Sorry, Baby, but I really do tend to blame my trivial problems on you. Hence, Fusspot.

Whenever Kalina's screams reach a Level 3 or higher, Matt and I both have noticed we get a bit edgy. In fact, we've heard that recorded baby cries have been used as weapons during wartime. We wonder if the attackers even had to lift a finger to destroy their enemy or if, spurred by the horrid sounds, the defenders just gave up on themselves and each other.

Fortunately, we're not at the point of giving up. Just ranking.