Yummy, delicious sleep

When a baby enters the world, she has four basic needs:

1.) Food

2.) Sleep

3.) Cuddling
4.) Lots of cute outfits and soft toys

The baby will continue to need these things her entire life, although they will change in substance as she grows and matures. For instance, in the future, the only milk Elise drinks may be in her double mocha espresso, with extra whipped cream. One day, she may be shutting out her light for the night mere hours before nowadays she's waking up. The family dog will likely get more hugs from her than I will, and her closet may at some point contain no pink whatsoever. Only time will tell.

In fact, this weekend it became apparent that Elise was ready to make a few shifts in several of these areas. Or, at least, we were ready for her to.

To our dismay, Matt and I had noticed a strikingly downward trend in Elise's overnight sleep. Hunger called at every hour, it seemed, and we were both exhausted. Especially me, as feeding the baby in a cold recliner at all hours is much less cozy than just going back to sleep in a soft, warm bed. (Although I recognize that Daddy's several screamy pacifier attempts were no fun, either.)

Most professional sources will tell you that solid food has nothing to do with a baby's sleep patterns, but every time I face extra night feedings, I disagree, desperate for any kind of "fix." That, and some new findings suggesting that early exposure to foods may help ward off allergies convinced me that 5 months was a great time to start Elise on solids. (She also responded favorably when I let her lick a banana I was eating a few days ago.)

Accordingly, I set up Elise's high chair (which Kalina gleefully noted is right next to her booster seat), mashed up a banana and carefully mixed up some free-sample formula to swirl in with the banana. I also found a fresh, new bib (none of Kalina's crusty hand-me-downs for Elise's first meal!) and chose a cute purple spoon. All set.

I did not let Kalina feed Elise, despite the older girl's request. I wanted to make sure things would go smoothly first.

With Daddy snapping away on the camera, I pulled Elise's mouth away from the high chair strap she was gnawing and set a bite of mushy banana on her tongue.

And I have never seen anyone make such a sad look of disgust as my baby did at that moment.

Seriously, child? You don't like banana? That's as good as it's going to get for a while, I'm afraid. You can have cake on your first birthday.

I tried again with an even squishier bite. Maybe she just didn't like the texture. Nope--the same look. And again--sometimes you have to try a food 10 times before the baby knows whether or not she likes it. Same result.

And that was the end of Elise's first feeding. In her defense, she was rather tired at the time.

I did, of course, try again this morning. I skipped the formula (it didn't mix well anyway) and put a miniature bite of banana on Elise's tongue. Utter disgust.

But...by about the 6th bite of banana, the baby only seemed a bit confused on what to do with the stuff (am I supposed to hold it in my mouth, send it down, or push it out?). And after that, she seemed to begin catch on to the whole concept, almost eating about 3 more bites before losing interest.

I think I'm glad we're starting relatively early. At this rate, Elise may be ready for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by the time she's packing a lunch for kindergarten.

Along with "big-girl food," as well told Kalina, it was time for Elise to embark on the first steps of "big-girl sleep." Essentially, sleep without the pacifier and swaddle (which she has been struggling out of some nights, anyway, raising plenty of worried eyebrows in our household). This would not be easy for any of us, I imagined.

The first night was rough for a while, and then Elise learned to suck her thumb and we've all had a lot more sleep since then. The end.

Epilogue:

Elise now talks to herself a bit and then just fusses just a bit each night before she falls asleep, thumb in mouth, I assume. She still wakes up once or twice to eat, plus once or twice to settle herself, which has never taken too long and is sometimes instantaneous and always gets some reassurance from Daddy if needed. Tiring? Not at all, compared to previous nights when she had to be settled 10+ times.

After a particularly disastrous nap, we've decided to allow Elise the swaddle and paci for naptimes and hope it doesn't confuse her. So far, it hasn't.

Mommy reports getting 7 hours of sleep total last night, and Daddy may have gotten a nice 5-hour stretch, and then some. Everyone slept until 7:00 this morning. And they lived happily ever after, or at least until the next sleep crisis.

Photos:

1. I just love baby profiles. Don't you? (And I'm letting Elise play with one of Kalina's toys during Kalina's one nap of the week--don't tell Kalina or she'll never nap again!)

2. The highchair strap tastes better than banana.

3. Giving it her best shot.

4. A mere shadow of Elise's look of disgust. Note that she prefers wearing the food on her chin to eating it.

Being a second child

There are many times every day when I find myself saying or thinking, "Poor Elise." For lots of different babyish reasons (you can't have a bite of this delicious cake, or yes, you have to wear a hat even though no one else is, etc.), but most of them involve Kalina in some way: the toddler may have just shrieked into her ear, or is dawdling in a parking lot on a particularly cold and windy day, thus exposing the rest of us to more chill than we generally enjoy.

I find myself thinking, "These things would never have happened to Kalina!" Which my healthy amount of Mommy Guilt distorts into "I'm a bad mommy for having another child before Elise."

The problem is, I'm a second child, too, so for better or worse, I'm bound and determined to make sure Elise plays second fiddle to no one as far as her upbringing is concerned. (Not that I did, no matter how much my big brother may have wanted me to believe it at the time. :) )

The other problem is that I can't clone myself so I can be a "perfect" mommy for two kids at once, no matter how much Internet research I put into that process.

So instead, I'm forced to downplay the negative and accentuate the positive when it comes to my second child, Elise.

Aside from never getting to choose her own naptime story and being in constant bodily peril due to a toddler whose exuberance occasionally exceeds her abilities, many of the "Poor Elise's" come from the fact that she's often asked to show patience far beyond what was (and sometime still is) required of Kalina. "Poor Elise," I bemoan. "That amazingly intriguing toy is just out of reach, but I can't get it for you until Kalina's broken plastic egg is all taped up because she'll complain louder and won't forgive me nearly as quickly as you will!"

Don't tell her, but Elise's downfall is that she handles the inevitable waits incredibly well.

(And in Kalina's defense, when you've gone from owning 100% of Mommy's time, or so it seems, down to 50%, it's a bigger shift than most adults would be comfortable with, let alone a 2-year-old mommy's girl. Kalina's actually done great overall.)

Additionally, Elise occasionally has her work cut out for her to capture her fair share of my attention. Not yet old enough to pull a lamp down on herself or pour water all over the floor, she must rely on coos, cries and overall cuteness as she constantly competes with her older sister (who is indeed old enough to have done the aforementioned things).

Worse, the baby sometimes just has to be okay on her own. Which is sad, until I realize that she'll be much better off in the long run if she doesn't constantly require an entire other person to make her smile and kiss her owies.

Sometimes I try to make all this up to Elise in sneaky ways. I hoard any toy or book of Kalina's that the older girl seems to have forgotten about, plotting to "disappear" it for a while before letting it just show up in Elise's room--an unspoken golden rule of toddlerdom being that if it came from your room, it unquestionably belongs to you. Or I tell Kalina I'm going upstairs to change Elise's diaper and spend an extra couple of minutes pretending to munch on one of the baby's feet while she chews the other (it's a game we like to play).

But then, there are also times when I think Elise has the better end of the deal, coming second. Not only are her days a lot more interesting than Kalina's were (because as hard as I try, I really don't think I'm as entertaining to have around as a goofy toddler is), but I'm pretty sure she sleeps better since I kind of know what I'm doing now, except for the last few nights when she's done an incredible job of following exactly in her sister's footsteps in that arena. *yawn*

Elise also has the advantage of hearing a constant stream of basic English language. "Yes, there is an orange cat rolling around in the street." "Yes, the cat is taking a bath by licking himself." "Yes, the cat is crossing the street to follow us." And so forth. She will probably be able to respond with, "Let's feed the cat hot dogs!" by her first birthday.

Of course, as she grows there will be other benefits and drawbacks. But for now, when being second becomes a bit too much for poor Elise, I simply try to give her an extra tickle or smile to let her know that she's the cutest and sweetest girl in the whole world. Along with her big sister, of course.

Build-A-Cat

The other day, Grandpa was over for a visit. As we were walking outside, Kalina was chatting about something or other and happened to mention her "friends."

"Wow," my dad commented, "she's talking about her friends! She's really come around, hasn't she?" He knows how reserved Kalina has been around anyone who's not a blood relation ever since, um, birth.

"What do you mean?" I asked. And then I realized: he was thinking she was talking about human friends! Hah!

I soon filled him in: Kalina's friends are her stuffed animals. All 16 or so of them (I've lost count). We both had a good laugh at the idea that Kalina would call any of the 2 -year-olds she sometimes hangs out with "friends." Even though they're all really sweet and she does have fun with them sometimes. (And she really is doing better in that arena: blog post to come.)

Kalina's been drawn to animals for as long as I can remember, squealing at dogs and cats ever since she realized they're not human. She's also been asking for clothes to dress her stuffed cats in. And not knowing quite how to sew outfits for Beanie Babies, I've put off that project for the short term (I'm not very good at miniscule stitchery).

And then one time we were visiting the mall and walked past the Build-A-Bear store. Neither of us could resist going in for a look. The first time, Kalina had Lamby along and nobody much minded her plopping her stuffed lamb into the pretend bathtub and giving her a good scrubbing. By the second time, it dawned on me that the whole idea is pretty much right up Kalina's alley.

And the third time we visited was today. Having known that Kalina and I were due a "Kalina and Mommy date" (something we instituted when Elise was born), I put out a plea on Facebook for coupons a while back. I received one--and a gift card, too--and so I got ready to indulge my sweet girl (thanks, friends, for sending these--you know who you are!!!). After all, Kalina and I needed a really special Valentine's Day date, didn't we?

Ahd that's how we found ourselves in the mall this morning, and heading toward Build-A-Bear. Kalina was strangely quiet--I think she knew what a big deal this was. Personally, I could hardly contain my excitement.

When Kalina entered the store, she first started wandering around. I steered her toward the wall full of stuffed animal choices. I told her she could pick any one, but as she started heading straight toward the really expensive ones I quickly changed my mind and pointed her back toward the entry-level critters. I needn't have worried: As soon as I said the words "Here's a cat, Kalina!" (from the cheap section) she was in love.

"This one!" she proclaimed as she pointed toward the grey kitty. I happily assented and got an unstuffed one out of the bin. Yes, I would've tried to dissuade her from the camo-colored bear or the somewhat ugly monkey if necessary.

I handed the limp cat to Kalina, who held it by the back of the neck (presumably so the cat could look around) and began wandering again. All three of us went to scope out the clothing choices while we waited for the line at the stuffing machine to cycle through. "The cat will look at clothes," Kalina mentioned.

Finally, it was Kalina's cat's turn to be brought to life. The friendly saleswoman, who had probably seen lots of shy kids before, did a great job of not scaring Kalina too much and of guiding her through the stuffing steps. First, Kalina chose a little heart out of a bin chock-full of identical little hearts (she was encouraged to choose whichever one she wanted). Then she gave it a sweet little kiss. Then she slid it into the back of the cat. Next she clung to me as the loud machine stuffed her new friend. And finally she received the cat back after it was all sewn up and gave it a big hug after some encouragement. All without saying any more words than absolutely necessary, or anything louder than a whisper.

Now, it was time to give the cat a "bath," to get all the fuzzies off, as the saleswoman told us. I'm not sure if the fuzzies are real or just for fun, but Kalina gave the cat a serious scrubbing with the little brush just in case.

And then it was time to dress the cat. I led Kalina over to the clothing wall, where she immediately chose a garish bright blue satin prom dress for her sweet little cat. Thinking that maybe Kalina hadn't actually considered all of her options, I suggested she look at a few other clothing options. She selected a pink skirt, some jeans, a shirt and hoodie/pink pants outfit to consider along with the dress, and very quickly decided she liked the hoodie/pink pants best. Whew! Yes, I would've let her have the dress if she still wanted it. But she clearly didn't.

One the cat was dressed, Kalina had her try out all the little chairs they have for the animals to sit in. We also chose some "ear" accessories--little flowers (not pictured).

Lastly, we created a birth certificate for the cat, which Kalina, very predictably, named "Gray." The saleslady put Gray into a cardboard house, stuck some sweetheart candy in and sent us on our way.

Finally, Gray was ours to take home!

It wasn't until we stepped out of the store that Kalina smiled. Now that the serious business of constructing a cat friend was finished, we could have fun! "The cat will live in the cat's house," Kalina said as we wandered over to a bench to regroup. (I'm pretty sure she actually did enjoy the experience, by the way--it was just a very new thing for this girl, and a weighty matter to bring a new friend into the world.)

Opening the door of the cardboard house, the little bag of candy fell out. I smiled--I supposed she could have them. However, Kalina, who only recognizes M&M's as candy, piped up, "Treats for the cat! Cat treats!" before I could say anything. We fed the cat several times before heading home.

Once at home, we gave Gray a tour and introduced her to all of Kalina's friends. Being furry herself, she appears to fit in just fine.

Fun with Elise

Elise is such a happy and content baby. She's also cute, smart and resourceful. We've been over this. However, the problem with having a happy and content baby is that it's all too easy to leave the baby on any safe surface, walk out of the room, cajole the toddler into a better mood, clean up a little mess the toddler made, clean up a little mess you made, feed the ravenously hungry cat, wash up breakfast dishes and transfer some of yesterday's laundry into the dryer since it's been sitting there almost 24 hours, for heaven's sake, before realizing that your second child might need a change of scenery.

Fortunately, the above situation has never happened, but occasionally things trend a little bit too far in that direction for my comfort level. Babies should be cuddled and bounced, not left to their own devices, whether they seem to mind it or not!

We've tried lots of ways to get Elise into the action a little more. We'll move her from playmat, to swing, to exersaucer depending on which room we're in. We'll scoop her up to join in on storytime or dinnertime for as long as her baby squirminess will allow (oftentimes Elise really does prefer her playmat). We'll carry her around during household tasks. And even if we're rushing around putting out fires for an entire morning, we'll stop every time we pass the baby to at least say hi and tickle her tummy a bit. But the funny (and, admittedly, wonderful) thing about Elise is that she's quite happy and content no matter where she finds herself. All the more reason she deserves to be cuddled.

For this reason, Matt and I both consider it a treat to get to spend quality one-on-one time with little Elise. And I'm pretty sure our happy, content little 4 1/2-month-old would agree.

Matt and I each have our favorite activities with the baby. Matt enjoys storytime (from "The Curious Little Kitten" to "The Greatest Hunting Stories Ever Told") and carrying her in the Baby Bjorn. And I like dangling toys in front of Elise to help her practice rolling (she can now roll back to front, but is not getting the hang of front to back at all) and making her laugh.

Even Kalina has fun with Elise. Too grown up for tickling games herself (or so she would have us believe), she loves making Elise the target of any antics of Daddy's. "Do it to Elise again!" she screams ecstatically after Daddy tickles Elise. "Not Kalina!" We're just glad she's not jealous.

One of Elise's all-time favorite activities, as I've recently discovered, is what I call "blanket time." When I was still pregnant, I decided Elise needed a super-soft blanket as a present from her mommy. As it turns out, she really does. Before each of her baths, I place an undressed, undiapered Elise on the blanket, and she squirms and wriggles to her heart's content. Despite the fact that I get squeals of delight right from the beginning, I soon found their true emotion is almost impossible to capture on film. I had a little more luck when we were playing with her teddy bear (see above photos).

Another new activity for Elise is the exersaucer. While Kalina enjoyed the idea of standing up when she used her exersaucer, I think Elise, in her week or two of wobbly employment of the toy, has already gotten more out of it than her older sister ever did. The baby is so busy in there we hate to take her out of it--but we do. After all, who can resist such a happy baby?