Who came first?

Anyone want this stick?
Naomi and her favorite
hedgehog toy.

Many times during the day, I'm glad that Naomi is a firstborn. Confident, somewhat adventurous, strong-willed, relational and smart, she'll be a great leader of her sisters. She knows what she wants and how to get it--and has a lot of wants. Always preferring to walk through her toys rather than around them, and monopolize as much of Mommy's attention as possible, she clearly takes the lead. Naomi loves to learn new things and play with others. Which is why it's a shame that the baby of the family wasn't actually born first.

Kalina and her very, very detailed zoo!
They then proceeded to let each of
their people take home pets from it.

Then there's Kalina, my middle child. She's often needed someone to go ahead of her to face the giants (preschool teachers and other adults), and let her know they're not actually ogres, someone to reassure her that the backyard and basement are unscary places to play, even without a grownup, and someone to bike and swim before she does so she knows it's totally doable. And yet she's so lovely with younger kids (when she's not chasing the neighbor boy with a baseball bat, that is), it'd be a loss if she didn't have a little sibling to dote on. Now if only she'd managed to wedge herself between her two sisters in birth order when she was born.

For breakfast on her
birthday, Pink Bear was
served cake and chocolate
ice cream. Yum!

And finally, my youngest child, Elise. Cheerful, easygoing, a little goofy and able to keep up with kids twice her age (yet still needing Mommy snuggles on occasion), she's the perfect caboose to our train. She makes her sisters laugh and keeps us all in high spirits, plus she's always happy to be the "kid" or "kitten" when playing "Mom/Kid" or "Owner/Kitten." She never holds grudges very long, and was the easiest baby. Clearly, she's the ideal youngest child--happy to go along with whatever her big sisters have dreamed up, and make it even more fun. Too bad she's stuck in the middle instead.

It would seem that mistakes have been made, but I'm sure it's all in order somehow. Still, the point remains: who messed up my kids' birth order? And what do we do now? Maximize strengths? Minimize difficulties? Merely survive?

Happy 34th, Matt!

As I've learned over my 3+ years of intense sleep deprivation (nearing an end! Really!), what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger--or at least able to endure more of it. Which means that it probably does Kalina good to have to forge her own way, and Naomi good to go with the flow and Elise good to...well...honestly, Elise could make anything work. Elise will, however, never consent to be the ignored middle child--or she would voice her concerns at a very high decibel level.

Seeing as this shakeup will mean our family's dynamics will be quite different from the way either Matt or I grew up, we'll be looking forward to seeing how everyone gets along. That's putting it rather mildly. For instance, take Kalina. A rules-following firstborn, she leads her sisters in All That's Right. Yes, she laughs when Elise says poop (a million times a day). She is, after all, only 6. But she warns Elise not to do so when I'm around (I overhear). Thanks--I think? And she exercises caution in all things, encouraging anyone within earshot to do the same. Plus, with Big Sister Kalina at the helm, her little sisters will always feel heard and appreciated. Kalina is also happy to occasionally let them take the lead, especially when deeply engrossed in imagining birthday parties for stuffed animals and whatnot.  I imagine she'll bring a combination of good sense and imagination to all their troubles over the years, too.

Uncle Brian visited! And
Naomi let him hold her!

And then there's Naomi. What if she actually were my oldest child? Case in point--here's how Naomi is learning to walk:

1. Grab Mommy's hands and contort my body such that I'm standing, and Mommy has no choice but to be pulled along behind. Whew, I'm on my feet.

2. Writhe, flail, scream, whatever, whenever Mommy sits me down. Whew, we're walking again.

3. Walk everywhere, all the time. With Mommy. Because I must.

4. Run everywhere, all, the time, with Mommy.

5. Run to Mommy and collapse in her arms. Then to Daddy. Keep doing this to practice.

6. Run, collapse, run, collapse. I'm walking!

7. Run, don't walk, everywhere I go. Have a Big Person near me at all times to make sure I don't splat on my face, or worse. 

It's tough to be on the inside
looking out!

Naomi will conquer the world, as long as someone's there to catch her when the world occasionally conquers her.

As the oldest child, the baby could teach her sisters a thing or two about "taking the plunge" if she'd let them (I'm thinking of swim lessons...). Naomi would certainly be a fun big sister to Kalina and Elise, and Kalina need never fear even the darkest corner of the basement with Naomi in the lead, but who knows where the three of them would end up, or how far they could get at a run under Naomi's direction? 

Elise as an oldest child would also be lots of fun, but maybe a little too much, unless her position brought out rules-following capabilities that I'm as yet unaware of. Actually, considering her sense of humor, Elise does a good job of going along with the rules, which may be partially attributable to her positive nature and positive role model. But she loves mischief (fortunately, only mischief and not actually trouble) a bit too much for my sanity, and if she were at the lead, I would never be able to find my shoes.

We had a pre-bedtime "sleepover!"

And it's probably a good thing that Kalina isn't "stuck" in the middle, as her ability to lose herself to other worlds (in daydreaming-meets-dawdling style) could get her lost between her sisters, too. We would miss our Kalina! 

Naomi in the middle, as the strongest willed of the three (as far as I can tell) could overrule both her sisters, unless she settled down a bit in toddlerhood (and she may). It might take her big sisters as a united front, in fact, to not get plowed over. 

Elise is no slouch to play with either, though, and her usually cheerful disposition, emotional intuition and relational nature will smooth over a myriad of troubled emotions over the years, whether they come from her big sister or her little one. And as our guaranteed extrovert (the jury is still out on Naomi), she'll find it a relief to virtually always have someone around to talk to.

At Grandpa's house.

As youngest child, however, Elise would easily get babied and fussed over, and with two older sisters to follow might never come into her own. But wouldn't she be adorable? She'd enjoy the attention and would happily go along with whatever games and ideas her sisters could dream up. "Let's dress Elise up like a Christmas tree and then decorate her!" Sure! "Let's pretend Elise is a baby bird and sit on her until she hatches!" Why not?

Kalina as youngest would never, ever, ever get her way, save through major threats from me directed at her elders. She'd be very well protected, however, and that may be worth it to her in the end.

Staying up late for fireworks!

But who could survive the "youngest" role better than Naomi? Babyhood aside, she has a need to learn--and a talent for study, too. Most content when she's "working" on something, she'll enjoy the endless parade of newness her big sisters present to her. And rest assured, she will find a way to have her say, even overruling the two "bigs," being the strongest willed and a very shrill, loud screamer to boot (and mighty cute!). She's also charismatic and engaging, coercing us to play with her even from across the room. "Here's a toy for you, and a giant smile to go with it! But you'll have to come to me to get it, I won't come to you!" And we virtually always do. Because, after all, she's our baby.

A Fairy Happy Birthday After All!

The other day, as Kalina and I were talking about the fact that she would soon be six years old (something we've discussed a lot lately), I told her that a lot of times, people act all the different ages at different times. So a 100-year-old might act like a 0-year-old if she screams and whines and fusses like a baby, or a 5-year-old might act like a 100-year-old if she shows wisdom and patience. And everything in between. (Never mind that Mommy sometimes acts much closer to 0 than 100. But I am closer to 0 than 100!)


And on Kalina's birthday, she not only turned six, but also 100 if you take into account her positive attitude when the big fairy birthday party we had planned for the day had to get postponed due to a particularly virulent stomach virus that visited her mom overnight. If there's anything worse than missing your oldest's sixth birthday and causing her party to be rescheduled, it's being that six-year-old. Poor Kalina! We'd worked on it, planned for it and looked forward to it all month and in a broader sense, since Christmas! But I saw nothing but smiles on my sweet girl's face as she celebrated anyway and made the best of her day.

Thank goodness Kalina had Elise to
help her celebrate! Elise put a lot of
thought into the gift, wrapping and
card. But I'm pretty sure that Elise,
herself, is the best gift.

I think when you're six, having it be your own special day might be all you need to put a smile on your face, but we came up with a few special things that helped. Gifts, for one! By the end of the day, Kalina was surrounded by plenty of new favorites: an enchanting Lego castle and an adorable Lego puppy, the Playmobil penguins she'd been asking for for months, a lovely fairy set from Elise, a Kirsten American Girl doll she adores and plenty more. Sometimes we wonder if she's spoiled (probably) but judging by her sincere, ecstatic, unprompted thank-yous all around, for everything from beautiful, sparkly cards to every gift, she's not so spoiled that she takes it for granted. Kalina even went the extra step to ask who each gift was from so she could say thank-you to that person. Par for the course if you're 100, I imagine, but above-and-beyond the six-year-old crowd.

Daddy also picked up McDonald's for lunch and made his special pancakes for supper. He allowed lots of sweets for both big girls, and let them help him construct a praying mantis cage for all his baby praying mantises that magically hatched on Kalina's special day (seriously, everything natural Matt touches turns to gold!). The true hero, he did this while managing the baby and doing the dishes, seeing as I was completely, painfully useless and napped on and off for several hours--probably my first nap in years.

Opening penguins from
Aunt Nancy

A true picture of graciousness, Kalina let her little sisters help with her presents (and play with them), even downplaying her own new Littlest Pet Shop set so that Elise would feel better about her own, and not be so jealous. I never heard a word about rescheduling the party, or about how I could only make a short appearances throughout the day, even when Kalina blew out six candles on her celebratory ice-cream sundae (having had a cupcake earlier in the day).

Six!!! How did it happen? As all good things, very slowly. At times I'm astounded at the sweet, smart, confident, imaginative, patient, attentive and responsible person Kalina has become. She's utterly devoted to her little sisters (although she can barely keep herself from tickling them to pieces), she builds Lego creations far more creative than anything I've ever put together and all last week she walked happily into VBS without looking back--no anxiety, no problems. She follows rules (often) and is still able to be quite silly, just as a six-year-old should. Kalina tries new things with more confidence than she's ever had, makes new friends, and  is beginning to really think beyond herself to help out and do the right thing. Case in point:

Kalina and the newest
member of our family.

At the library the other day:
Kalina: Mommy, can one of us hold the DVD on the way home?
Me, while holding my breath: If you two can reach an agreement about who gets to hold it, then sure. If not, I'll hold it. (Knowing that stakes are high--last time someone wanted to hold a DVD the results were disastrous, albeit very educational for both girls.)
Kalina and Elise square off, and I can sense Elise tensing (I am, too).
Kalina: Elise, you can hold the DVD on the way home. I want to do the nice thing.
Librarian, whispering to me: Is she for real?
And after that, I of course let them watch some of it while I made lunch.

In fact, I've noticed that when Kalina is in a good mood--and I'd say that's most of the time, unless she's sick or stressed--the whole household is sunnier. She can, and usually does, make our whole day.

Kalina wanted an ice-cream sundae
for her birthday treat. Thank goodness
she's "only" turning six or it would've
been ice-cream soup!

At six, Kalina is reading simple easy readers (and birthday cards!), manipulating numbers in her head, telling time to the half hour, counting small amounts of change and identifying all the coins, very knowledgeable about the world around her (the other day the girls were discussing the difference between a damselfly and a dragonfly), beginning to understand her place in history and asking great questions to learn more. She can mostly recite Psalm 23 and she knows the details many Bible stories better than I do. Her memory is astounding--she can remember events from her toddlerhood, and remembers details I don't about events that happened years ago. And she does not feel six yet, but I imagine she will by this time next year.

Kalina still adores crafts, drawing without hesitation (this was a long time coming, but we are there!), cutting, gluing and generally creating whatever her heart desires. She can sew buttons, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and feed the baby. She's proud of the fact that she can climb a tree on the golf course, she'll happily perform on the piano for you (a song she's made up or one from her music books) and she's really good at digging for, and finding, worms and other critters, showing little fear except toward bees (and she's been stung twice, so I can't really blame her). She is still much, much, much more likely to pretend that a soccer ball is an egg about to hatch than to kick it back and forth, but she does enjoy her scooter.

Lisa (a.k.a. Lamby) is still Kalina's best friend, and now usually gets to wear clothes, which are changed for all the big occasions and especially the lamb's own birthday, which is celebrated at least weekly. And so Kalina, as with most kids at this age, thrives on keeping one foot firmly in the imaginary even while taking on more of the "real." May it ever be so.

_______

Julia, Lilly, Lily, Madeline, Lydia,
Molly, Kalina, Hayley, Elise, Choe.
Not pictured: Lucy, Anna

The fairy party finally happened, and it was everything we'd hoped it would be! Kalina and I had spent several really fun late bedtimes (her bedtime, not mine) creating paper mushrooms, a giant sunflower and "fairy bread" together, in addition to invitations I wish I'd taken pictures of because they garnered more compliments than I'd ever heard of an invitation receiving. Kalina stenciled a fairy on the front of each, and we filled in the information on the back. According to several moms at different times and places, the guests thought Kalina's stenciled fairies were very inspiring. And I have to agree.

Sometimes I do wonder if
they're for real. Other times,
not so much.

Despite all of Kalina's help, or possibly because of it, I wanted to be sure the party had some magic in store for her. And it did! First, the fairies arrived: Kalina got her own set of six pretty plastic fairies to live in the fairy house she would be painting. Meanwhile, the guests got to each search for their own fairy in the front yard on their way in. Elise, being the Birthday Girl's Sister (and mostly since I didn't want to try to monitor her outside and finish the party setup inside at the same time), got to search ahead of time and, to her utter delight, managed to find one of the fairy queens. Yay for Elise, who held up relatively well considering the peculiar combination of activity and jealousy that meet at an older sibling's birthday party.

Everybody arrived at the same time, pretty much, about 15 seconds after I deemed myself "ready enough for a party." That was a close one, possibly because Miss Naomi decided it'd be a great day to have trouble falling asleep for afternoon nap, and then short-napping (in all fairness, she's had an otherwise easy week).

We dove right in to painting fairy houses, which Matt had crafted out of wood weeks before. They were every bit as much of a hit as he'd hoped--the fairies fit in perfectly (each girl tested) and they painted up beautifully.

Next, we had face painting, a fairy dress-up, a photo booth, and a mini "fairyland" for the kids to play in, with and around. Which pretty much resulted in a constant stream of high-decibel, high-volume chatter for the next 30-ish minutes, and girls with various combinations of wings, tutus, wands and flowery crowns running back and forth. Cute.

Can fairies grant their own
wishes or do they need
candles?

 Then it was time for food. Our little fairies had worked up quite an appetite, and wolfed down "fruit wands," "fairy bread" and "magic mushrooms" in a matter of minutes. Maybe they were just excited about the cupcakes--which truly were something to be excited about, as they were fancy and from a store since I just didn't have a fresh batch of cupcakes in me (after all, I was recovering from a nasty stomach virus).

Being fancy and from a store, the cupcakes were stacked with purple icing, much to Elise's delight. What was not so great, however, is that shortly after her first bite, her icing managed to slide off the rest of her cupcake, taking the top portion of the cake itself with it. Not cool to a tired, jealous Birthday Girl Sister who had been fixated on birthday treats all day long. Not cool at all. In a quick, easy solution, the broken cupcake became mine and a new treat was dished up to the nearly hysterical child. Whew, solved that problem!

Elise's best fairy face.

Until her second cupcake somehow landed top-down on the chair next to her. Another mom was already kindly handing the again hysterical child a third cupcake (and who knows how that one would have met its demise?) when I managed to convince Elise that a spoon would, in fact, be a good idea. I also somehow managed to get her back onto the first cupcake, and she ate up every bite. Poor girl.

And finally, it was time for presents! A huddle of girls watched in rapt attention as Kalina opened everything from real fabric butterfly wings she could wear, to various craft activities, to a kitty purse. Kalina, nearly beside herself with delight at each gift, managed lots of unprompted, enthusiastic thank-yous. The difference a year makes!

After a little playtime with the new gifts, it was time for all the fairies to fly home. Kalina spent the next full 24 hours not quite sure what she wanted to do next, faced with so many options she even remarked at one point, "I'm bored" (she actually wasn't, just crippled by indecision).

Elise's ego is healing up nicely, aided by the generosity of Big Sister, who would often rather make new craft and Lego projects for her little sister than for herself, and who gave her a baby fairy left over from the party.

Naomi, by the way, spent the duration of the party safely with Grandpa, who worked his darndest to make sure she never felt the need for Mommy the entire time. In support of Big Sister, however, she wore her tutu and matching rainbow shirt.

The "behind-the-scenes" work
that made this party possible!