Who came first?

Anyone want this stick?
Naomi and her favorite
hedgehog toy.

Many times during the day, I'm glad that Naomi is a firstborn. Confident, somewhat adventurous, strong-willed, relational and smart, she'll be a great leader of her sisters. She knows what she wants and how to get it--and has a lot of wants. Always preferring to walk through her toys rather than around them, and monopolize as much of Mommy's attention as possible, she clearly takes the lead. Naomi loves to learn new things and play with others. Which is why it's a shame that the baby of the family wasn't actually born first.

Kalina and her very, very detailed zoo!
They then proceeded to let each of
their people take home pets from it.

Then there's Kalina, my middle child. She's often needed someone to go ahead of her to face the giants (preschool teachers and other adults), and let her know they're not actually ogres, someone to reassure her that the backyard and basement are unscary places to play, even without a grownup, and someone to bike and swim before she does so she knows it's totally doable. And yet she's so lovely with younger kids (when she's not chasing the neighbor boy with a baseball bat, that is), it'd be a loss if she didn't have a little sibling to dote on. Now if only she'd managed to wedge herself between her two sisters in birth order when she was born.

For breakfast on her
birthday, Pink Bear was
served cake and chocolate
ice cream. Yum!

And finally, my youngest child, Elise. Cheerful, easygoing, a little goofy and able to keep up with kids twice her age (yet still needing Mommy snuggles on occasion), she's the perfect caboose to our train. She makes her sisters laugh and keeps us all in high spirits, plus she's always happy to be the "kid" or "kitten" when playing "Mom/Kid" or "Owner/Kitten." She never holds grudges very long, and was the easiest baby. Clearly, she's the ideal youngest child--happy to go along with whatever her big sisters have dreamed up, and make it even more fun. Too bad she's stuck in the middle instead.

It would seem that mistakes have been made, but I'm sure it's all in order somehow. Still, the point remains: who messed up my kids' birth order? And what do we do now? Maximize strengths? Minimize difficulties? Merely survive?

Happy 34th, Matt!

As I've learned over my 3+ years of intense sleep deprivation (nearing an end! Really!), what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger--or at least able to endure more of it. Which means that it probably does Kalina good to have to forge her own way, and Naomi good to go with the flow and Elise good to...well...honestly, Elise could make anything work. Elise will, however, never consent to be the ignored middle child--or she would voice her concerns at a very high decibel level.

Seeing as this shakeup will mean our family's dynamics will be quite different from the way either Matt or I grew up, we'll be looking forward to seeing how everyone gets along. That's putting it rather mildly. For instance, take Kalina. A rules-following firstborn, she leads her sisters in All That's Right. Yes, she laughs when Elise says poop (a million times a day). She is, after all, only 6. But she warns Elise not to do so when I'm around (I overhear). Thanks--I think? And she exercises caution in all things, encouraging anyone within earshot to do the same. Plus, with Big Sister Kalina at the helm, her little sisters will always feel heard and appreciated. Kalina is also happy to occasionally let them take the lead, especially when deeply engrossed in imagining birthday parties for stuffed animals and whatnot.  I imagine she'll bring a combination of good sense and imagination to all their troubles over the years, too.

Uncle Brian visited! And
Naomi let him hold her!

And then there's Naomi. What if she actually were my oldest child? Case in point--here's how Naomi is learning to walk:

1. Grab Mommy's hands and contort my body such that I'm standing, and Mommy has no choice but to be pulled along behind. Whew, I'm on my feet.

2. Writhe, flail, scream, whatever, whenever Mommy sits me down. Whew, we're walking again.

3. Walk everywhere, all the time. With Mommy. Because I must.

4. Run everywhere, all, the time, with Mommy.

5. Run to Mommy and collapse in her arms. Then to Daddy. Keep doing this to practice.

6. Run, collapse, run, collapse. I'm walking!

7. Run, don't walk, everywhere I go. Have a Big Person near me at all times to make sure I don't splat on my face, or worse. 

It's tough to be on the inside
looking out!

Naomi will conquer the world, as long as someone's there to catch her when the world occasionally conquers her.

As the oldest child, the baby could teach her sisters a thing or two about "taking the plunge" if she'd let them (I'm thinking of swim lessons...). Naomi would certainly be a fun big sister to Kalina and Elise, and Kalina need never fear even the darkest corner of the basement with Naomi in the lead, but who knows where the three of them would end up, or how far they could get at a run under Naomi's direction? 

Elise as an oldest child would also be lots of fun, but maybe a little too much, unless her position brought out rules-following capabilities that I'm as yet unaware of. Actually, considering her sense of humor, Elise does a good job of going along with the rules, which may be partially attributable to her positive nature and positive role model. But she loves mischief (fortunately, only mischief and not actually trouble) a bit too much for my sanity, and if she were at the lead, I would never be able to find my shoes.

We had a pre-bedtime "sleepover!"

And it's probably a good thing that Kalina isn't "stuck" in the middle, as her ability to lose herself to other worlds (in daydreaming-meets-dawdling style) could get her lost between her sisters, too. We would miss our Kalina! 

Naomi in the middle, as the strongest willed of the three (as far as I can tell) could overrule both her sisters, unless she settled down a bit in toddlerhood (and she may). It might take her big sisters as a united front, in fact, to not get plowed over. 

Elise is no slouch to play with either, though, and her usually cheerful disposition, emotional intuition and relational nature will smooth over a myriad of troubled emotions over the years, whether they come from her big sister or her little one. And as our guaranteed extrovert (the jury is still out on Naomi), she'll find it a relief to virtually always have someone around to talk to.

At Grandpa's house.

As youngest child, however, Elise would easily get babied and fussed over, and with two older sisters to follow might never come into her own. But wouldn't she be adorable? She'd enjoy the attention and would happily go along with whatever games and ideas her sisters could dream up. "Let's dress Elise up like a Christmas tree and then decorate her!" Sure! "Let's pretend Elise is a baby bird and sit on her until she hatches!" Why not?

Kalina as youngest would never, ever, ever get her way, save through major threats from me directed at her elders. She'd be very well protected, however, and that may be worth it to her in the end.

Staying up late for fireworks!

But who could survive the "youngest" role better than Naomi? Babyhood aside, she has a need to learn--and a talent for study, too. Most content when she's "working" on something, she'll enjoy the endless parade of newness her big sisters present to her. And rest assured, she will find a way to have her say, even overruling the two "bigs," being the strongest willed and a very shrill, loud screamer to boot (and mighty cute!). She's also charismatic and engaging, coercing us to play with her even from across the room. "Here's a toy for you, and a giant smile to go with it! But you'll have to come to me to get it, I won't come to you!" And we virtually always do. Because, after all, she's our baby.