Elise's first Christmas

Merry Christmas! This was Elise's first and we used that excuse to celebrate it as heartily as possible.

We began early, not only with aforementioned Christmas decoration viewing and Christmas cookie baking, but with a visit from Grandpa Les, Grandma, and Uncle Brian.

Both girls loved having extra family members to play with them (as did Mommy and Daddy). Elise zeroed in on Grandpa Les and astounded audiences with her brilliant (and adorable) conversations with him, consisting of exhuberant gurgles and coos. So popular was her performance that she went on to regale other family members in a similar fashion.

"Finally, I found a way to get some attention around here," she was later heard gurgling good-naturedly.

And for her part, Kalina greeted Uncle Brian like a long-lost friend. He patiently followed her around the house as she made all the preparations to feed forest animals, rubber snakes, and others, narrating her every move.

Of course, Grandma was equally popular, particularly for her upside-down watercolor artistry, which allowed Kalina to create a happy scene of cats, birds, butterflies and more.

And then the 2nd-biggest day of the year arrived: Christmas Eve. Elise was passed from one set of arms to the next as preparations were made for the big day itself.

When both girls were prodded/bribed into their Christmas dresses (colored marshmallows: special for Christmas!) and we were out the door to Christmas Eve church, the fun officially began. Not only was the service lovely and my girls adorable, but Kalina tuned in like never before. A simple dance caught her attention and she watched the whole thing, wide eyed and grinning ear to ear, seeming to hope everyone else on the stage would break into dance as well. Afterward, she said she wanted to twist and turn like the dancer. She will likely take ballet at some point.

On the way home, we ignored Elise's annoyed grunts and took a detour to check out Christmas lights. They were lovely and we all had fun trying to get Kalina to look out the correct car window to see the lights.

Shortly after our late supper of soup and Matt's amazing rye bread, we began putting the girls down for bed. To Elise, it was just another night, but we had fun building suspense for Kalina.

Yes, it was probably stupid of us to give Kalina an excuse not to sleep that night. We did, however, have good reason: it's Christmas! So I read her The Night Before Christmas by the Christmas tree, and carefully explained the Santa part of the Christmas story (having appropriately drilled into her the Jesus part), with emphasis on the "fact" that flying reindeer would land on her roof. I told her Santa would put presents in her stocking, and that Mommy and Daddy had a big gift for her. The girl could hardly believe her lucky stars. What a great idea for a holiday! Family, good food, presents, a Christmas tree, and reindeer!

As Matt tucked Kalina into bed, the toddler mentioned that she's excited. She also told him that her stuffed cats were excited, and would be meowing from excitement. As he closed the door, he heard soft meows coming from her crib. Precious.

I wish I could say we all slept peacefully dreaming of sugar plums, but I cannot (Santa may not visit next year if I tell untruths!). Elise, for her part, didn't do too poorly--she did so well, in fact, that Mommy got a 4-hour stretch! However, after an additional 2-hour stretch, my brain decided I'd had more than enough sleep for one night and pretty much kept me up after 3:52. Kalina didn't help, waking at 5:30 and needing to be settled back to sleep. Only the adrenaline of Christmas morning saved the day, and it took a while to get the full amount I needed.

When Kalina woke for real, our first order of business was to get her as wound up in anticipation as possible before heading downstairs to open the big present Matt and I had draped in wrapping paper the night before.

We realize we were a bit crazy for buying Kalina (and Elise--we're making Kalina share) the large Calico Critters dollhouse, plus play table, plus lots of animals and furniture for Christmas (and her next birthday). But we got a Craigslist deal we couldn't refuse, about 3 days before Elise was born.

Our purchase proved justified when Kalina, open-mouthed, ripped off the wrapping paper on Christmas morning. What a delighted little girl! She was even happier when we had her open a cat family and a living room set complete with books. I think she played a full half hour before asking to put the cats down for naps and we had her open a third present: a bunk bed set. And that's all she needed to keep her content for another 2 hours (it helped that Grandma, Grandpa Les and Uncle Brian arrived).

When Elise woke up from her long morning nap, she got to open a few presents as well (or, rather, sit watching as Kalina tore into them for her, "showing her how to open" the gifts). She seemed happy with her presents, and I'm determined to rescue them from Kalina's eager clutches so that she actually gets to enjoy them more as she gets older. Then we all headed out the door to Grandpa Tom's for Christmas dinner and general festivities.

I love big Christmases, and this certainly lived up to my expectations, with Matt's family, my family and a family friend celebrating together. Christmas miracle after Christmas miracle, though, made the day run smoothly, if not joyfully much of the time.

Christmas miracle #1: Elise napped in the pack-and-play! Not great, and not without some work, but enough that we could all enjoy Christmas.

Christmas miracle #2: No toddler meltdowns. As we were headed out the door, I warily informed Kalina that today would be a no-nap day. If we were to gauge it by her smile, this may have been the best gift of all. However, I knew that could come with a price: would she have to leave Christmas early for bad behavior? No she did not. Good girl.

The food was good, the house was festive and the company was jolly--we all had a nice day. Kalina got a bit tired of posing for "a picture in front of the tree with your sister!" but did enjoy being chased around as we tried to wrestle her into one anyway.

On the way home, Kalina caught a quick nap in the car, but Elise did not. And once we were home, both kids were soundly sleeping in their beds within 45 minutes, while the rest of us completely and utterly collapsed. Or maybe that was just me? I have no memory of the evening--I think my brain was finally asleep even if my body wasn't immediately.

Christmas miracle #3? Snow! It snowed overnight, covering every surface in white fluffiness perfect for making a giant snowman and cancelling flights. And so the celebration continued, as Grandpa, Grandma and Uncle Brian all stayed a couple extra days.

We also made it to the Hanks family gift-opening, during which we all ate as many sweets as we possibly could without alerting Kalina to our activities (although she was allowed a Christmas cookie, which she kindly shared with Uncle Tom).

And now, we think we have enough toys to pass the cold winter away.

We all loved Elise's first Christmas. Let's all do it again next year! But no sooner: Mommy needs a long winter's nap (Christmas miracle #4? Please?).

Elise's "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament: a festive little giraffe (that matches Kalina's festive little teddy bear).

Rudolph the white-tailed deer and other holiday happenings

We've been too busy celebrating Christmas for me to blog about what we've been up to, so here are some random pictures to tide you over until the big, massive family visit/Elise's First Christmas post that we all know is yet to come. Enjoy!

We managed to venture to the local Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree this year. By the skin of our teeth, though: not only did a "diaper incident" almost preclude the trip entirely, but we only had enough cash to pay for our white pine because I remembered there's a returning customer discount of $2.00. Upon arriving home, we discovered that the tree looked a lot smaller on the lot. However, we all love it--our Christmas miracle, I suppose.







Our household's first incident of sibling rivalry captured on film: you can see Kalina's hand trying to yank the beads away from Elise, as well as Elise's look of grim determination not to let her. And is that a kick?










Kalina decorating the tree. When asked what her favorite part about Christmas is, she will tell you the Christmas tree (and ornaments). Not quite as good as "Baby Jesus," but better than "PRESENTS!!!"

It snowed! Elise napped through the whole thing, but Kalina actually willingly suited up in her coat, snow pants and boots (even asking for the boots specifically, having been told in the preceding days/weeks that she'd have to wear them if she wanted to play in snow, and refusing to touch them with a 10-foot pole otherwise) and headed out with Daddy. Next thing I knew, every inch of snow from our yard had been rolled into a giant snowman, which is still there three weeks later.

While Kalina and Daddy were playing in the snow, I decided that as long as we were holing up inside, we might as well make Christmas cookies. Fortunately, I had help. Unfortunately, I ended up having to bribe the help to stop decorating, since although the cookies looked great, the sprinkles aren't quite as good of an adornment for the floor. The bribe? A Christmas cookie, of course.


We love our nativity set and we admittedly love letting Kalina play with it. First, she separated the people from the animals. Then, she carefully lined the animals up. Then she not-so-carefully piled the people up. Then she invited all of the animals into the stable, which was eventually inhabited by only the 3 cats. Everyone else got sent to her play kitchen sink. The next morning, the farm animals (but not the camel), as well as Mary, Baby Jesus, and the manger, were allowed back into the living room. All the animals got put down for naps in the stable.

Oh, and Rudolph the white-tailed deer? Just something we talk about every so often. Yes, we're still obsessed with white-tailed deer, and Kalina loves seeing them (and the occasional reindeer) all around town.

P.S. Sorry about the ridiculous formatting. I'm on a new computer and it doesn't seem to work well with blogging. I may have to explore other options.

Elise's sleep journey: Part 1

Every child is special. And so is every child's sleep. As most of you know by now, we're fairly obsessed with sleep here at the Odegaard household: possibly because we all do so much better when we get enough.

We're all (even Kalina) on a quest to help Elise get the best, most quantificous sleep possible. Here's a summary of the first step in her journey, as designated by the fact that I have the time to write this now.

When Elise was born, after all the ooohing and aaahhing, I began to eye the girl a bit suspiciously. After all, she was a newborn: not only are they notoriously rocky sleepers (asleep in the daytime, awake at night), but they all vary, just like bigger people do.

Just as some newborns grow up to be successful biologists or writers while other less fortunate newborns grow up to be clowns and politicians, some newborns are the rave of their mommies' blogs and Facebook statuses for their lengthy naps and nighttimes, while others' sleep habits are only bemoaned in the same venues.

How would Elise and I get along? I wondered. I'm positive we'll find some things in common (already have: we both enjoy a well-placed window), but until then, will be both be sleeping? Or not?

When anticipating this new baby, I counted on the fact that newbors sleep a lot during the day. I pictured playing with Kalina, helping my older child not feel quite so displaced in her new family, while Elise dozed happily by our sides despite tumbling blocks and toddler shrieks of delight. If this wasn't the case, I had no further strategies: all hope would be lost.

And true to newborn form, Elise slept just fine for the first couple weeks--even nighttimes weren't too bad. I breathed a sigh of relief and focused all my energy in smoothing sisterly relations while Elise dozed in her swing. But I knew from experience that teaching a baby to sleep after the first month is about as difficult as instructing a baby in the fine art of French cooking, so I sent Matt to the library and he came home with armfuls of our old favorite sleep books (and some new ones).

Elise's sleep deteriorated as I read up on ideal waketimes and newborn brain mechanisms, and by the time I felt the slightest bit equipped, I needed all the help I could get. Our philosophy of "she's a newborn, she'll sleep when she needs to," had been fun, but it had also produced a wildly overtired baby who wasn't sleeping much more than our toddler. Trouble. Fortunately, help was on the way.

The Baby Whisperer's book had struck a chord with me. A combination of no-nonsense and a soft heart who advocates understanding your baby, the author offered some concrete techniques for getting a good night--and day--of sleep. Perhaps I was thinking a bit too wistfully, but I also liked her promise that, if I timed put-down correctly, I could simply hold my baby swaddled in a dark room for five minutes, put the baby in the crib, and walk confidently away, anticipating that not only would the baby fall asleep on her own, but she would stay asleep for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Sign me up!

My initial problem was that, although I only skimmed certain sections of the Baby Whisperer's book, I never saw her mention what to do if you have a toddler trying to scale the side of your baby's crib while you put the baby down in it. Fortunately, after a week or so of trailing behind me into Elise's room, Kalina has decided that she has better things to do with her time while I put the baby down for endless naps. She also rarely attends diaper changes anymore.

I began first thing in the morning, having already noticed that Elise likes nothing better than a good nap almost exactly an hour after waking up. This is also convenient for me, as I can deal with the toddler whirlwind of: "Kalina wants a hardboiled egg to eat on the picnic table. Read a book. The cat is stuck behind the chair and Kalina can't get the cat out! Potty," without having to drag Elise through all of it, poor girl.

I followed instructions to the T, walking confidently away after I'd laid Elise in her crib. Then, at Elise's beckoning, I came back and put the pacifier back in her mouth about a million times, probably, and I might have rocked her a bit (to make sure she's drowsy), and finally she fell asleep. For 20 minutes.

What do you even do with a baby who only sleeps 20 minutes? Or 30? Or 5? First-time moms on the message boards I occasionally visit dreamily talked about holding their baby for all naps. Meanwhile, I did loads of laundry, kept the house clean-ish, baked and freelanced while managing a toddler, too. It's a world of difference.

I repeated the nap routine (sometimes resorting to the swing or carseat when nothing was working) through the next day, and the next, and the next until it seemed that most of my time was spent in a dark room, and I'd blink whenever I saw sunlight. As you can imagine, the addition of darkness to my repeated failure did nothing to improve my frustration. Sometimes the baby would sleep an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, and sometimes not at all, despite hours of trying.

The sleep books told me to put her down earlier: I did. A small part of my brain told me to put her down later: I did. I put her down full and swaddled, I let her fuss a bit, or sat there holding the pacifier in. I ignored the Baby Whisperer and drove her around in the car. I rocked her until my arms were about to fall off. I ran up and down the stairs as I tended to her needs and the toddler's needs at the same time. I spent entire days focusing on naps while Matt and Kalina went out and had all kinds of fun. You name it, I tried it. I could not force the baby to sleep.

It wouldn't have grieved me so much had I hadn't seen Elise's frustration as well: here was a baby who wanted to nap, but couldn't, whether I helped her or left her alone, put her down early or late, etc.! What was I doing wrong? Why can I do all the right things and still not have a napping baby, while other people do nothing and have excellent sleepers? Poor Matt got very tired of having his deer hunting conversations interrupted as I bemoaned Elise's poor sleep. It was officially an obsession.

And then I gave myself a break, and went back to having an overtired baby, and reaching out for help on Facebook (thank you to all who responded, you cheered me up considerably!).

After wallowing in despair for the rest of the day, I decided that there's no budging around the crib nap: Elise hadn't had a good swing nap in days, and wasn't getting any less aware of the toddler bustling around her. I tried harder. Elise seemed to nap a million little times a day, but at least she was napping.

As I persisted, Elise matured, so that about the time I really needed to see progress, she instituted a long morning nap. The household breathed a sigh of relief.

Now, Elise eats once at night (and occasionally wakes up just to be settled one or two other times), and once usually in the 5 a.m. hour (night? morning? we haven't decided). Regardless of when she eats, I make sure she's awake "for the day" by 6:30. She naps an hour afterward (so, around 7:30, give or take), and usually sleeps until 9:30-ish. Yes, it's true!

On a good day, Elise will catnap in the car if we head out after that, and then take a long afternoon nap--but these days only happen maybe 2 times per week, usually on the weekends when Matt's babysitting. The rest of the day, she'll take 45-minute naps, or less if we're out and about. She's not always happy that she can't get back to sleep, but we all manage. And she seems to be dropping her late evening nap, although she still needs to sleep at that time so I'm not really sure what I'll do (probably move bedtime earlier or distract her with a bath).

And our routine is as simple as the Baby Whisperer promised it could be. Simpler, really--Elise doesn't really require rocking anymore, which I'm admittedly a tiny bit disappointed in.

I learned a little about Elise during this time: mostly, that she can't be awake for more than about an hour (sometimes a bit more if we're out) without getting overtired. She also hates being moved or messed with when she's sleepy. "Just give me a swaddle and a pacifier and a dark room and leave me alone!" she seems to say.

She also really can put herself to sleep, as long as the timing is right. Sometimes even without the pacifier, I'd guess.

And it also seems that she's willing to be a decent crib napper, or a decent on-the-go napper, but not both, so I can picture us having to limit our outings in the future. Sleep is important. We will maintain a balance, though--I refuse to stay inside the house for the entirety of the baby's first year just so I can put Elise down for all her naps. Kalina and I both have our sanity to maintain. So we will stay in only on the really cold or wet days.

I must admit that I'm a bit proud for having almost figured out this whole sleep thing, and proud of Elise for the same reason. However, I'm not ready to claim success quite yet: we still have the 4-month sleep regression in our path. I'm sure you'll hear from me again then. Let's hope it's good news.

Photo: Elise helps decorate the Christmas tree!

We love Christmas

I love Christmas. Love it. The whole month of it. And as fun as Christmas has been in the past, it's already gotten better: not only is Kalina as excited as I am (with a little nudging from me, of course), but it's Elise's first. We will be celebrating accordingly.

We began the holiday baking on Monday with cinnamon-sugar almonds. We made a triple batch so we'd have lots of holiday cheer to share.

We're also working on Christmas cards together. Kalina chooses the card (we have two options) and the address label, and I do the writing. So far, she's only chosen the "cardinal card" and the gingerbread man address labels, so I have to substitute occasionally. She's also happy to fold the photos we're sending as she puts them in the card, so if yours arrives creased, I do apologize.

I force Kalina to listen to a Christmas CD a day, even though she'd rather listen to the telling of the Three Little Pigs over and over and over. (Sometimes I suspect she doesn't really listen, but simply uses it as an excuse to not do what Mommy wants to do, but we take turns anyway.) Kalina's taste in music is extremely picky (so picky that she's been known to dance without it--apparenly no music is good enough for some of her moves), but she's admitted to liking Jingle Bells, We Need A Little Christmas and that Christmas song that's sung by children to the tune of Pachelbel's Canon. She also seems to like Rudolph (the white-tailed deer).

Elise, for her part, loves it when Mommy sings Christmas carols to her and moves her little arms in time to the music. The girl is very easy to please. I suspect she'll love a brightly lit Christmas tree as well.

I've also taken Kalina out to look at Christmas decorations, and we've spent some nice time in Target's Christmas section, at the display in the mall and passing Christmas lights in our neighborhood (thank you, kind people, for decorating your houses!). We both excitedly point out Christmas trees and reindeer whenever we see them.

I've tried to explain the real meaning of Christmas several times, but my attempts often end up fumbled, with me almost as confused as Kalina. I try not to focus on the presents, but my complex stories generally end in "and that's why we give presents to each other," as I strive to reconcile the traditions in my own mind. Finally, I turned it over to Veggie Tales, who have more experience in such things than I do. After watching the show about St. Nick, I asked Kalina if she'd learned anything. "No," she said. *sigh* I suppose at 2 1/2 it's still not too important for Kalina to understand the intricacies of theology in the context of mass culture.

And then we talk about what presents we're going to get for our family members. I won't spoil surprises, but Kalina is thinking various animals and fire trucks will be popular this year.

Perhaps best of all, though, is our advent calendar. Bought on a whim after I'd completed an unexpected freelance assignment, it's a Playmobil forest scene that grows with each day before Christmas. Worth every penny. What sold me is that it contains a whole family of white-tailed deer, and foxes, to boot. Just by seeing the picture, Kalina has already determined that the deer and foxes will all be friends. (Side note: whenever I ask Kalina who her friends are, animals top the list. A few family members occasionally are mentioned.) Every day she wonders if she'll get a deer.

We love the calendar. Both of us. It's all I can do not to tear into each box and set up the entire scene right now. Kalina seems to have more patience than I do, but maybe just because she's reliant on my willpower and not her own (little does she know how fragile my willpower is on this matter!). Every morning when we open a box her face absolutely lights up as she pulls out the toy (as does mine, I'm sure)--even though the first day was just a tree and some grass, and the second day was just another tree and a little plant. She eats it up. Today some birds came to visit, complete with a bird feeder. I've peeked ahead and I know that the deer family will show up, fawn, then buck, then doe, on the 5th, 6th and 7th. If we had to wait any longer I'd be switching them out for the foliage.

And so, we'll keep counting down until the big day, at which point we'll have to find something new to do. At least we'll have new toys then. (Kidding--Christmas is not about toys, for heaven's sake! It only seems that way to small children and tired parents. :) )

Tinier than a turkey, and cuter, too

Elise's first Thanksgiving has come and gone. I think she enjoyed it (it's hard to tell, though, she actually slept through most of it). Here's the rundown of our family's day:

The day began, as most of our days do, with a night. It was a pretty good one--Elise made it to 4:30 before needing to eat, and with only two briefs wakeups prior to that.

Matt and Elise were both still sleeping when Kalina first started chanting "Mama, Mama" for the day, around 6:15. She often chants it (and never Daddy, Daddy), with more and more vehemence, until one of us opens her door, so I rushed out of bed (no small feat on a cold morning) and to her cribside hoping to keep at least half the family asleep. Of course she didn't want out of her crib, just to have an audience while she played. I didn't mind--I get so little quality time with her nowadays and she's so cute playing with her "friends, the animals" that I soaked it all in.

Soon, I informed the girl that it was, in fact, Thanksgiving Day--a day we'd been looking forward to with much anticipation thanks to several turkey crafts, a flurry of cooking the day before and some rather awkward explanations on my part ("well, the pilgrims and the Native Americans were friends at the time, although that ended eventually, but at this point they still wanted to share a meal together. They ate turkey. Now, what are you thankful for?"). Kalina, by the way, has expressed thankfulness for the fall leaves, which we'd been talking a lot about.

Elise soon woke up and Matt and I divied up the kids. We were out the door to Aunt Nancy's house by 11:00, Elise having taken a giant nap, and Kalina having goodnaturedly looked for parade footage online with me since we don't get a TV signal. We managed to find some of a panda balloon and were both somewhat satisfied.

I think Kalina was starting to wonder what the big deal was about Thanksgiving (after all, she had to get a bit dressed up and didn't like the cinnamon roll as much as if Daddy had put frosting on it for her), but then we arrived at Aunt Nancy's and saw her favorite people, and dog, there. As we finished preparations, Grandpa managed to rock Elise to sleep.

We were thrilled to welcome Angela to our table. She's been a staple at various family holidays for years now--so much so that we demanded she bake some rolls for us. Thank goodness she's goodnatured, but I suppose that's what it takes to put up with some of the more challenging members of our little family.

However, Elise did not make it to dinner, as she was again taking a giant nap. And poor Daddy was only an observer for the first 10 minutes as he was still finalizing pacifier negotiations with Elise regarding the nap (Elise is clearly a pacifist, hahaha). Thank you, Matt, for letting me eat a hot Thanksgiving dinner!

After dinner and dishes, we inducted Kalina into a Hanks family tradition: takeaway bingo. Of course, no one was allowed to take the gift we'd specifically picked out for Kalina away from her: a Play-Doh fun factory that she probably loves more than Elise at this point, and has sent many a Play-Doh critter through (much to Matt's delight). Kalina was done playing the game as soon as she unwrapped it--she now had Play-Doh to smash instead.

Then everyone but Elise had some pie, and we all headed up to Grandpa's house for a change of scenery.

By this time it was dark, and the toddler, who has been skipping lots of naps lately including, of course, Thanksgiving Day's (we didn't even try), needed some downtime. Much to our surprise when we opened the cardoors at Grandpa's, only one of our girls was bright-eyed--and not the one you'd expect! Elise may have dozed during the 25-minute trip, but Kalina definitely slept. She initially did not want to wake up, but fortunately was back to being her happy self once she was safely inside and surrounded by toys.

We enjoyed some leftovers, a quick game and some conversation before turning around and heading back home again so we could get both girls to bed at a decent time. We crossed our fingers that the night wouldn't punish us for a really fun day. It didn't!

The next day, the girls and I made it out for some really low-key, child-friendly 10:00 a.m. Black Friday shopping since Matt was working (yes, I was up in the 4:00 hour and I'm sure I could've scored some great deals, but chose to stay mostly in bed). It was almost a disaster--I didn't exactly run the girls into the ground, but the day before had taken care of that for me. Both girls melted down at once, and I was the talk of the bookstore as strangers either wondered aloud whether Elise was hungry or held doors for me to pave my way out (hint hint?). Kalina was asking for naptime on our way home.

I was glad I went, though--not only did I run into the mom that I've become friends with only by running into each other randomly (true story!), but I managed to find a nice Christmas book that actually told the real story of Christmas in words a toddler can at least follow (with Jesus and everything!). Kalina snapped up a Veggie Tales Christmas DVD that was on a great doorbuster sale. What a little shopper! Even Elise was too wowed to sleep in her stroller. No matter--in a few years they'll be the ones dragging me out the door.

We were all too tired to set up a Christmas tree this weekend, but that's probably for the best. Next week we will start celebrating Christmas in earnest. This weekend, we will content ourselves with being thankful for what we have.

Photos:
1: Elise sleeping!

2: Thanksgiving dinner.

3: Instead of naptime, we had storytime. At least it was downtime.
4: Kalina playing in the leaves a few days ago.

Pediatrician visit!

Today, all three of us ventured to the pediatrician. Elise needed her 2-month checkup and Kalina needed a flu shot.

Yesterday, I let Kalina know that she'd be getting a shot. We practiced with her doctor kit and I assured her she'd get a treat afterward. Possibly thanks to this preparation, Kalina was surprisingly calm heading out the door this morning. I thought I'd have to drag her kicking and screaming, but she was actually more cooperative than usual.

We made it there on time and were called back, much to Kalina's aggravation, as we were in the middle of the first waiting-room book she'd picked up. Elise, for her part, was wide-eyed--not taking the nap I'd hoped she'd get before her appointment.

In the exam room, I chatted with the nurse, and then got Elise out of her carseat. As I was preparing to undress Elise for the weighing, I heard quiet sobbing coming from the chair behind me. The reality of an impending shot had finally sunken in for the poor 2-year-old. Fortunately, the nurse agreed we could take pity on her and do Kalina's vaccination first. She headed out to get the shot ready as I tried my hardest to pull Kalina's jacket off and roll up her sleeve. Not easy, least of all on Kalina's nerves and my protective instinct.

I was finally able to relax her a bit by convincing her to sing "Sing a Song of Sixpence" with me--her favorite song.

And then it was over. The nurse obliged my request to not put on a band-aid, and instead let Kalina play with it like a sticker. Kalina proudly wore it on the back of her hand. The tears were soon over, and she played contentedly and quietly with Lamby for the rest of the appointment (I think I even saw her poke her finger into Lamby's stomach like she was giving the poor animal a shot). Maybe she thought she'd get another shot if she misbehaved.

And finally, onto Elise! My littlest girl weight 9 lbs., 12 1/2 oz.--I believe just half an ounce mor than what Kalina weighed at this age. She's in the 25th percentile for weight, and 40th for height, at 22 inches long. Her head is a nice, normal 36 1/2 inches around--the 50th percentile.

I brought up my concerns about sleep: is it okay if Elise still sleeps on Daddy in the recliner at night? How about if for naps she only sleeps in 5-minute increments a few times a day, occasionally? How hard should I work at getting her to nap? Which of the sleep books is best? Really, I was asking "when am I going to be able to carry on a conversation without mixing up all the words again?"

I like our doctor. His philosophy is: the sleep books each work for different kids. If you want to prioritize sleep now (like having your child sleep on your husband at night), that's completely fine, just realize you'll have to undo it somehow later. All you can do is all you can do--you can't force a kid to sleep. And balance and perspective are important. These are all things I knew, but was glad to hear from a professional.

We then moved on to other matters such as Elise's heart murmur. It's still there, very localized and very small. Nobody's worried.

Kalina watched as the doctor checked Elise's eyes, hips and everything else--all is well. We also chatted about grad school and such. It was a very laid-back visit.

And finally it was time for poor Elise's shots. I wished I could bribe Elise with a treat, as I had Kalina. I also wished she only had to get a tiny flu shot. But no, she needed three shots and there wasn't much I could do to make her feel better.

It's clear that Elise is tuned into pain--the poor baby did not calm down well, and really was only quiet after the experience overwhelmed her with sleep. I was admittedly glad she was getting the nap that she needed, and also that she'd probably sleep for a while, and that she can now have Tylenol.

After finishing the half-read waiting-room book, we returned home via Dunkin' Donuts, where Kalina persuaded me to get her a donut hole for in the car and a chocolate sprinkle donut for at home (where it was soon lunchtime). In my defense, I only gave her half of the sprinkle donut and ate the rest myself just now.

Elise has slept for most of the day, and I've used the time to get her used to crib-sleeping, catch up on quality playtime with Kalina and do some light housework (including cooking dinner!). I was really, really, really hoping to use the time to get a nap in myself (my day having started at 4:53), but Kalina threw a wrench into that plan by utterly refusing hers.

I hope Elise feels better tomorrow--I can tell she's still hurting a bit and needing to sleep it off.

I am incredibly proud of both of my girls, by the way. Kalina for being such a trooper, even though she was so scared, and Elise for smiling a few times today despite everything. They both deserve far more donuts than I can provide.

*This post is thanks to Aunt Nancy for letting me borrow her computer. My laptop got milk spit on it. Yes, spit, not spilt. Only half of the keyboard works.

A world of play

Elise isn't the only one growing and changing lately. Not only is Kalina now too tall for some of her intended winter/spring pants, but she's developed a new skill that I've been waiting a good two years for.

The girl can play on her own. Even with Mommy around.

Has the addition of Elise rocketed her toward this independence? Was there a switch that flipped in her brain? All I know is that Kalina is now dragging out old toys I was practically ready to donate to Goodwill to play for an hour or two at a time, dwarfing the previous record of about 12 minutes of independent play that was probably induced only by a new toy.

She's even been known to play downstairs while Mommy casually heads upstairs, or vice versa. So it turns out that if Elise happens to be napping, and Kalina is in the mood to play, I temporarily end up with more free time than I did with only one child. (This has probably only happened once or twice, though.)

Kalina has always had a dubious history with toys. After all, from the very first time we dangled a bright object from her carseat or stuck her under a playgym, she's seemed to see through them as an attempt to divert her attention away from Mommy for just a few seconds, please, for heaven's sake. Smart girl.

Toys would entertain momentarily, but pretty soon she's demanding Mommy (or, in desperate times, Daddy) to play with her. Which Mommy doesn't do nearly enough to her liking, so the situation results in a child sticking to me like glue as I perform such fascinating tasks as loading the dishwasher or folding laundry.

"You're welcome to go play," I'd remind Kalina every so often up until about a week ago.

"No," she'd reply.

And then one day, everything changed. Although Kalina's been a bit more independent since Elise came along, her 2-hour-playfests that include complicated "plots" and constant running dialogue ("Kalina's Friend, The Turtle [as her wheeled turtle is now referred to] wants to get a suitcase and a ticket and fly on an airplane to Grandma's house and come back home and take a bath and Kalina will feed Kalina's Friend, The Turtle, eggs, and break the eggs into a bowl and mix them up and bake them. And I need some pretend flour.) came on all of a sudden.

At first I just stood and watched, open mouthed, as my child entertained herself (and me, really), purely with her imagination and a happy spirit (and about 8 dozen toys ranging in size from tiny to ride-able, each of which I was thrilled we'd hung on to). Soon I jumped into action to make the best use of the time and probably cleaned something, being careful not to be too loud, or two quiet, and in so doing, distract her.

The next day, it happened again. I rearranged my schedule and didn't make Kalina change out of her pajamas until close to lunchtime just so that she could continue to play uninterrupted.

The day after that was rainy and nasty and I needed to get out of the house, but Elise had a cold so I didn't want to really go anywhere. I proposed the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru and a short drive past some of Kalina's favorite landmarks. The poor conflicted girl, albeit enthusiastic about the prospect of a donut hole,was drawn more powerfully toward her favorite new hobby, playing. When she looked up 45 minutes later and still wanted donuts (but it was now too close to lunch), she happily took the yogurt raisins I offered her and went back to playing.

And the next few days I happily ignored my 2-year-old as she happily played, all by herself, with the occasional request for a story or a snack thrown in (okay, sometimes more than occasional). It became a sort of experiment to see how much Kalina actually could, and would, play on her own. After all, we'd hardly seen it happen before, and were curious as to what it'd be like to have a child that played.

And then I realized that I missed my girl and didn't actually want to ignore her. Although at times I feel like a bit of a third wheel around Kalina's Friend, The Turtle, I try to join in occasionally, slicing pretend cheese onto pretend bread to make a pretend sandwich, or simply untangling Doggie's leash. As it turns out, play can be fun!

Truth be told, we love Kalina's playtime not only because it's really, really convenient for us, but also because it's just plain adorable. You can't make this stuff up: "and then, Kalina's Friend, The Turtle, wants to go to the grocery store and buy ice cream and mail it to the pig to eat..." and so forth. For an hour or more sometimes.

Our house now looks like even more of a disaster area, as Kalina stocks my empty canisters with toy silverware and fish, and decides to bring every single item from her toy kitchen into the living room to feed Kalina's Friend, The Turtle, but I care not.

We do, however, clean up every so often because Kalina needs a new canvas to create from.

Photo: At the EPA lake.

7 Weeks

According to the experts, lots of things are supposed to happen in your newborn's life at around 6-7 weeks. Let's take stock:

1. At 6-8 weeks, the baby's immune system should finish developing.
At the potential expense of being rude, Matt and I closed our house to toddlers for the first 6-ish weeks of Elise's life. We also disallowed Kalina from playing at her friends' houses or in close quarters with other kids (and frankly, our little introvert seemed glad of the excuse). We wanted to give Elise the best start in life possible.

Instead, between the 4 of us we've managed 5 bouts of illness in the past couple weeks, including a cold that Elise came down with a full week after the rest of us were mostly recovered. Oops. Poor Elise is currently congested and coughing, but is weathering the inconvenience in stride. I have plugged in a humidifier to help, but she seems to be doing okay on her own.

2. At 6 weeks, the baby will go through a growth spurt.
Yup. Not only did Elise eat all the time, but she tried hard to stay awake during all daytime hours so that she'd know the exact instant she became hungry. Fortunately, she only added one feeding to her night sleep, so we all survived. It's officially over, I believe. For at least a few weeks.

3. Around 6 weeks, or 7 weeks if the baby was born a week early, the baby should begin to have a long stretch of sleep at night.
Yes, she does, as of late. Except when she was growth-spurting (so, all of 4 times already), Elise has slept from 9:00-ish to 2:00 or 2:30-ish. Which means that Matt and I both try to be asleep as close to 9:01 as possible. Then we hope that after her middle-of-the-night feed, Elise can make it until at least 6:00 a.m., which she sometimes can.

I'll note that Kalina did this too, by the way--and then regressed into her newborn-esque patterns around 3 1/2 or 4 months. So my hopes are not up yet.

We all feel mostly human in the mornings (once we've showered, anyway), although this could change once Elise starts actually sleeping in her crib (or, more likely, not sleeping).

4. Crying peaks at 6 weeks.
Here's a rundown of Elise's crying:
"Waaa!" Translation: Something's not right here.
*silence* Translation: Oooh, cool, a stripe pattern!
"Waaa!" Translation: Hmmm, somethings still not right.
*silence* Translation: Well, I guess it's not that bad.
"Waaa!" Translation: Although maybe it needs some attention.
And so forth.

Suffice it to say, the peak of Elise's crying is quite manageable. Yes, she has her moments, but they're predictable and easy to remedy. Did you hear that? We have an easy baby!

The rest of the time, she simply grunts to let us know if she needs something. We much prefer grunting, not only because it's more easily ignored, but because it hurts our ears less. We do, by the way, jump to her rescue in the event of panicked grunts.

5. By 6 weeks, your baby will most likely be honoring you with grins.
Matt and I have both been smiled at, and I believe Kalina was once, too. Elise is more likely to light up at Kalina's egg shaker toys, though, or a crinkly plastic Gap bag.

Elise has also managed to roll over several times from front to back, and she's become very aware of the world around her as she stares at her sister's brightly colored toys. She's also already getting used to being a second child, as Kalina loves to pile stuff on top of her (sharing her toys!), bring her all the pacifiers in the vicinity whether she wants them or not, and pet her like she pets the cat.

And although I'm already missing the teeny tiny newborn days, I'm remembering that each stage seems to be more fun than the last. Looking forward to each one of them.

Photo: An attempt to get Elise to smile for the camera.

Tricks and treats!

Yesterday Elise celebrated two firsts: her first trip to church and her first Halloween. We'll discuss the weekend chronologically:

On Saturday, we carved pumpkins. Although this project can constitute a lot of work, it was entirely worth it just to hear Kalina say "goop," emphasis on the "oo." Precious.

The goop, of course, came from the inside of the pumpkin. Kalina delicately helped scoop some of it with a spoon, and then declined to have anything to do with it the rest of the time. Just like her Mommy! Good thing Daddy was around or the project would've come to an abrupt halt: "No you scoop the goop," "No you scoop the goop!" Kalina and I would've fired back and forth at each other.

We carved Kalina's pumpkin first. Kalina chose circle eyes, a circle nose and a happy mouth. And then onto Elise's pumpkin, which Kalina also chose circle eyes, a circle nose and a happy mouth for, except then Daddy persuaded her that what she really wanted was a cat pumpkin. Elise, by the way, watched from her carseat and Mommy's arms, as it was one of her myriad naptimes of the day.

Later, we took a nighttime walk and lit candles inside our pumpkins. Kalina thought it was all pretty magical, especially since she got to carry a flashlight.


Today, the whole house was up by 6:30, and yet we still barely had enough time to make it to 9:30 church. In our defense, we all managed to take our requisite baths/showers, and everyone had at least 1 breakfast (Elise had several).

Last weekend, I'd had the good fortune to find matching dresses for my girls. I was elated, and was quoted as saying, "Matching dresses is why you even have two girls!" Matt declined to comment on that.

I knew I'd have my work cut out of me to get both girls in their dresses at the same time, and also get a picture (which is why the picture in this post of the girls isn't really all that great). Elise was the easy one--Kalina needed more convincing.

Problem being that Kalina hates dresses and hates tights (she also has hated jeans and any pants that aren't cotton knit lately). I sometimes indulge her sensitivities, having hated tights, too, in my day, but this time I wasn't backing down. I tried everything, from a weak "Don't you want to match your sister?" to "When you're in your dress you can have a marshmallow." Guess which one she finally responded to.

With a bit more "convincing" (me cornering the girl and pulling the dress over her head), we finally managed. One marshmallow down the hatch.

Somehow Daddy managed to get tights on Kalina (a few more marshmallows to the rescue), as well as a new pair of shoes, and we were finally off to church!

Forty-five minutes later I discovered Elise's horrid disposable diaper had leaked onto her outfit. As I changed her out of her dress, that no one had even seen her in yet, to put on her ugly bottom-of-the-diaper-bag sleeper, anger welled up within me. What's the point of even going to church if the girls aren't going to be adorably matched in their dresses? We might as well go home now!

Okay, I wasn't quite that shallow, but we all have our dark moments. I got over it. Back at home, Kalina indulged me by posing by the pumpkins so I could immortalize her cute outfit, which I probably will never have the energy to convince her to wear again. *sigh*

Speaking of convincing my daughter to wear an outfit, the time soon came for Kalina to don her cow costume. Acquiring a costume for a toddler is tricky business--you want to do it soon enough that ebay will still have plenty of options (plus time enough for a redo if need be), but not so soon that she'll change her mind before Halloween.

Kalina decided in early October that she wanted to be a cow for Halloween. And I have to admit, she does a pretty amazing "moo." So I ordered the costume, carefully told Kalina that it was on its way, and helped her open the package when it arrived. She was ecstatic, and would occasionally come pet her cow costume, which was biding its time in Mommy and Daddy's room.

I did not offer to let her try it on early: either she'd get tired of it before Halloween, or become afraid of it before Halloween, and would not wear it on the big day, no matter how much candy we bribed her with.

One preliminary "are you ready to put on your cow costume?" yielded poor results ("No."), but when the final moment of truth arrived the girl was willing. Even more amazing: she allowed me to put up the cow-head hood for pictures!

Yes, by the way, I would've taken her trick-or-treating even without a costume.

And then we were off, along with Cousin Poky in her squirrel costume, Aunt Nancy, Uncle Tom and Grandpa. Elise and Daddy were taking a giant, much-needed nap at home.

We'd practiced trick-or-treating at home, so Kalina was ready. Out of habit, I found myself saying trick-or-treat before Kalina did a little too often, but she'd usually chime in eventually in a microscopic shy voice. I had to assure our neighbors that she had, in fact, said the words.

We proceeded around the neighborhood, Kalina wide-eyed with awe at the fact that people would hand her candy (a word she just learned a few days ago), simply at the turn of a phrase. She was so wide-eyed, in fact, that we wondered if she were having a good time:

"Kalina, are you having fun, or would you like to go back home?" I asked her.
"Fun," she replied with a smile. "More treats." The girl caught on remarkably fast.
And so we kept going, with samples for everyone along the way.

Eventually, we woke Daddy up and hauled him out as well. We all had a lovely time and I'm pretty sure she'll be asking to do it again sometime. Will our neighbors oblige the girl?

I'm also happy to say that Kalina seems to have forgotten her plastic pumpkin full of treats as of this morning. I will not remind her.

Grandparent visit: picture post!

I generally think my kids are just the greatest. Thank goodness I can count on grandparents to agree. We had a fun-filled, action-packed visit with Matt's parents this past weekend so that they could meet Elise and help out a couple of weary parents (and a bored toddler).

Here's what they found their new granddaughter doing:


5-week-old Elise enjoys lights and bright colors, and the occasional wall, all of which we at times stare at and thoroughly discuss together. She's managed a 1-hour crib nap, plus a few shorter ones, but greatly prefers to be held for all of her sleep. We generally indulge her (especially with grandparents around!), but I generally try to downplay that fact to Kalina lest the big sister get any ideas. The baby will sleep long-ish stretches at night, but grunts the whole time.

Elise is a pro at tummy time--not only does she weather it without complaint, but she's been bobbing her head all over the place lately.

Best of all, we've caught traces of a few smiles! But mostly just traces, and pretty much exclusively for Mommy (sorry, everyone, this privilege comes along with the late-night feedings and countless diaper changes!).


Meanwhile, the grandparents thoroughly spoiled Matt and I with lovely home-cooked meals and free babysitting. Kalina also made good use of Grandpa and Grandma by showing off her spinning capabilities and all her animals. She was glad to have a constant audience, plus new stickers and doll accessories. What fun!

We're all already looking forward to their return at Christmas. Just one more reason to count the days!

Photo 1: The proud grandparents. And rightly so! :)
Photo 2: Kalina showing off her new baby sister.
Photo 3: Grandpa got Elise to go to sleep! A huge accomplishment at times.
Photo 4: Kalina and Grandma baking brownies. There was lots of tasting.
Photo 5: Grandma often became the resident baby holder. Elise was thrilled.
Photo 6: Fishing at the EPA at sunset.
Photo 7: Grandma caught a fish!

The heart murmur (and random pictures)

Yesterday, Elise had her big cardiology appointment! This was the one that would tell us a few more specifics about her heart murmur, as well as whether or not it had closed.

Matt and I both attended, leaving Kalina with Grandpa. I was so grateful he could be there--not only would it have been nearly impossible to get out the door without him, but then he could pay attention to the doctor while I paid attention to Elise. My 3-hours-of-sleep/head cold brain was fried and I wouldn't have understood, let alone remembered, a word he said.


Long story short, Elise has one small hole and one tiny hole. They're near the apex (which is the bottom, yes, it's messed up), which is a good thing--the holes are more likely to close correctly there.

And they really should close, probably within her first year. As they're causing no problems, we'll simply return around Elise's first birthday to get her checked out again.

We actually find it strange we have to go back at all--she'll be fine either way and there's nothing they'd do even if the holes don't close.

And that's it! Enjoy the pics.

Photo 1: I love baby profiles
Photo 2: a couple weeks ago, at the park. Not sure why Kalina decided it'd be a good day to stick out her tongue for every picture. :-P
Photo 3: At the pumpkin patch. Silly Kalina!

Adventures With Two: Good Mommy-Bad Mommy

There are lots of times in a mommy's life when she's presented with two choices. Do you change the baby's diaper after she's simultaneously pooped and drifted off to sleep, or let her be? Do you let the toddler have ice cream and a donut, both in the same day, because, well, look how happy she is, or do you deprive her because two treats in one day would be crazy?

Although in my sane moments I realize that in some challenges of mommydom there actually aren't right answers, at the time there's often no way to escape the choice without at least a little mommy guilt. "I left my baby in a dirty diaper because it took 2 hours of rocking to get her to finally sleep!" Or, "I let the toddler have both treats, now her teeth will rot and fall out and it'll be all my fault, plus she'll be spoiled!"

However, this particular Wednesday morning I had no doubt about how to be a good mommy. Kalina's playgroup was planning to tour the fire station, and with Kalina's ongoing fascination about fire trucks, we had to be there. At 10:00 a.m., as a matter of fact.

The fire station being one goal of the morning, the other goal was to get poor Elise, whose sleep even at this tender age is always at the mercy of her older sister, to take a decent nap. Anywhere, but preferably in her crib. Or if not in her crib, in her bouncy seat. Or if not in her bouncy seat, in my arms, which is increasingly difficult for her with all the distractions that come along with getting a toddler ready for the day (have you ever tried to dress an unwilling 2-year-old while holding a floppy newborn you're trying to rock into dreamland? It's fun for no one.).

Those were my only goals, and it shows: The house is a mess, I'm wearing no makeup (not unusual these days) and was neither fed well nor particularly hydrated this morning. We also watched TV first thing. For all this, I cared not. I had my goals.

An hour and 20 minutes after embarking on goal #2 (the nap), Elise had finally drifted off in her bouncy seat. I silently cheered and ushered Kalina around the house, finalizing snacks and all our luggage for the 30-minute fire station visit.

At times, in mommyhood, you can cross your fingers and be lucky in even the riskiest of your endeavors. Sometimes you actually can distract your toddler from the fact that you forgot her snack cup at home, or leave your baby in a diaper that probably doesn't have any poop in it, and you come out ahead. So when the time came to unswaddle Elise and transfer her to her carseat, I banked on the hope that she'd fall back asleep instead of waking hungry and screaming. It just had to work out, right? Kalina needed to get to the fire station, and it was high time for us to be going!

It did not work out. Elise wasn't even mellow-hungry, she was starving-hungry, and, really, I couldn't blame her.

I hate moments like this--when you have to choose between two kids. Does one child miss the fire station trip? Or does the other child go hungry for 15 minutes, and possibly cry all the way to the fire station?

Both kids were in the car by now. I wondered if I could tide Elise over with a few sips from her bottle.

Nope. This was no "I could just snack a little bit" baby--her hunger was the real thing. I writhed inwardly. And then, with a personality that strives to disappoint no one, I resolved to drive while holding the bottle for the baby, even though I would need to dislocate at least one arm to do so.

And this is when I became a bad mommy--probably the worst in my social circle. In order to transfer myself to the driver's seat, I had to prop the bottle up for Elise for a minute. And lookee here, the baby is happy, the toddler is happy and I'm happy--all in the same second.

And so I did the unthinkable--I left it propped, and started to drive. There we were: Kalina munching on her snack cup, me driving via the view in the backseat mirror as I watched for any signs of choking, and the 1-month-old contentedly gulping her bottle with no one to hold it or her. I was glad the drive to the station was only 10 minutes, with plenty of possible stops along the way.

I hadn't heard anything about this practice being illegal, but I couldn't help but imagine that if social services heard about it they'd cart my kids away. I figured that anything that makes Mommy's life easier must be illegal, like leaving your baby in the swing too much or letting your toddler eat raw cookie dough, and lots of it, because while she cleans off the beater you can tackle the mess in the kitchen. I hoped we wouldn't pass any police cars on the way.

Then I realized Elise needed a diaper change, too. We stopped a mile down the road at a park for me to check on Elise and change her. She was mostly done with the bottle, and let out a little burp when I unbuckled her seat belt. Fastest feeding ever.

But it gets worse. It soon became apparent that I'd forgotten to restock the diaper bag after our last outing. Although I was prepared with crackers for Kalina and a clean outfit for Elise, there was not a single diaper in the large bag. Worst. Mommy. Ever.

Fortunately, I was once a good mommy, and had stocked some of Kalina's diapers in the seat pocket. I pulled one out. It was probably a size 3, which says two things. First, it was realistically too big for Elise, reaffirming my original incompetence. What's more, it's probably been almost a year since Kalina has worn a size 3. The diaper would fit neither child well. *sigh*

But it would have to do.

And then, out of sheer desperation (I knew we were running late, and also had realized my changing pad was at the bottom of Kalina's laundry hamper), and following the basic principle mentioned earlier that sometimes just work out, I decided it'd be a good idea to try to change the diaper while Elise was still in the carseat. It was not.

I breathed a sigh of relief, though, when I saw that the diaper wasn't actually too bad of a fit for Elise, and that we had 3 minutes left to be at the fire station on time .

Once there (late, of course), Good Mommy prevailed. Kalina had a lovely time and Elise took a nice nap in her cozy wrap. Worth all the trouble. (see pictures)

The super-friendly and patient firefighters let our toddlers explore an entire fire truck, and wander at will around the garage. It was great fun, and although most were a bit too timid to actually "drive" the truck, they all appreciated the opportunity.

Photo 1: Kalina "riding" a fire truck.
Photo 2: We all made it!
Photo 3: The "boys" playgroup that Kalina is an honorary member of. I like how she's the only one smiling.