What to do with two

Before Elise was born, I thought that being the caretaker for two small children would be impossible. How would any of us get anything to eat? Could we all manage to get clean every day? And most worrisome, how was any of us going to get any sleep at all, ever? I decided it was hopeless. Part of me wasn't looking forward to the challenge of proving myself wrong.

And then Elise came along and nothing mattered except the fact that the four of us were nice and cozy in our little house and there were moments when all of us were happy at once.

And then Matt went back to work, and I've had to face that which can reduce even the boldest and strongest among us to tears: managing a toddler and a newborn. You've heard about the best of the worst of my first day. Since then, things have improved (you haven't heard the worst of the worst of the first day, and you won't). I've learned a few things. At one point I thought it was easy, and that lasted at most 10 minutes.

This post is dedicated to all my mommy friends who are facing life with two. Here's how to survive the first few weeks:

1. If someone offers to make you a meal, shout "yes" at the top of your lungs, and then sign them up for a specific day before they can change their minds. No matter how much you love to cook, you will not love to cook while holding a floppy newborn and denying your toddler the privilege of eating the eggshells she's grabbed from the counter.

2. Shower courageously. Got 5 minutes before one is supposed to wake up from her nap and the other is supposed to eat? That means you can take a 4-minute shower! It's okay to assume it's going to work out, because we all need a little hope. Go forth. Shower. Be clean.

3. Get organized and find a system. I have 3 diaper-changing stations that I stock every night. I hate that I have 3 diaper-changing stations, but it works right now. Hopefully I can work my way down to 2 in the next few weeks.

4. Subscribe to a magazine that has nothing to do with kids. Read it occasionally. Talk about what you've learned. Try not to think about your kids for 5 minutes a day. It's hard, but it's one of those things that reminds you you're human, and not a domestic robot like your kids would occasionally like you to believe.

5. Track your accomplishments. It might be "I got the baby to nap in the crib today for 30 minutes!" or "I prevented the toddler from squeezing her entire juice box onto the dining room floor!" instead of "I wrote a book chapter this weekend!" but it matters.

6. When all else fails, sing. You may appease at least one child and if not, at least it'll give you something to concentrate on and drown out the crying.

7. If you feel yourself bouncing back and forth between needy kids like a ping pong ball, just count your blessings that you're not pregnant anymore, because that would make it a lot harder to reach the pacifier that bounced behind the recliner while removing a spray bottle from your toddler's deathgrip.

8. Come up with a strategy each day for what you'll do if your toddler doesn't nap. It could be a special outing, a craft or baking project or a heap of stories that you'll plan to read because that way you'll at least get to sit down.

9. Spoil everyone a little. Bribe your toddler once in a while when you really, really need her to just let you brush your teeth, for goodness sake, so you can get out the door and because she had juice this morning. Hold your baby during your toddler's entire nap, if you enjoy it. Sneak an extra Oreo. You can undo all the bad when you're getting more sleep (or before your children leaves for college, whichever comes first).

10. It's okay to count the minutes until Daddy gets home. Even neurosurgeons and air traffic controllers have easier days than mommies of two, sometimes.

11. Let the electronic babysitters take over occasionally. You're not a bad mommy if every so often one child is sitting in front of the TV while the other is sitting in her swing while you run around like crazy doing laundry and dishes between popping the pacifier back into the baby's mouth. Or so I tell myself.

12. Remember that lots of successful, happy people have two children. Maybe it'll work for us, too.

Photo 1: Kalina helping Elise with tummy time.
Photo 2: Cute!
Photo 3: 3 months later, Kalina is finally riding her birthday tricycle! Parents won the helmet war.