What's in yours?

What do you do with all of Baby's stuff when you're on the go? Some choose to leave the baby at home rather than drag half of the nursery's contents out and about. For the rest of us, there's the diaper bag. Everyone's got one, and nobody really likes them.

Before the baby is even born, moms-to-be are asked if they have the diaper bag packed. Of course they do, they have all the time in the world. The diaper bag has, in fact, been packed and repacked and repacked, in such a way that everything actually fits, and quite cutely. However, no one who actually has a baby will be able to put it all back together, and from its very first use it will be doomed to be a catch-all cesspool of baby gear, of which generally only the top two inches' worth is ever accessed.

The irony here is that everything you actually need for the baby in the first few months can fit on your person. A diaper in your back pocket, wipes in the other one and your shirt doubles as a burp rag anyway.

The first several times you leave the house with the baby you forget the diaper bag. After that, every time you leave the house even without the baby you instinctively reach for it. I usually have to give it a good, long look just to remind it and myself that its value to me only applies when the baby is along.

As an aside, it seems that every mom goes through the "I'll just use my purse as a diaper bag" phase. At its worst, this phase sees Mom venturing out to buy the biggest purse possible with pockets on every surface, and then spilling pacifiers all over the table when she finally gets to go to dinner with a friend. At its best, Mom is back to lugging around a diaper bag the next day. Sometimes there's even a complete reversal, which has Mom triumphantly vowing "I'll use my diaper bag as a purse." This is just sad, and usually ends the first time her wallet is left behind on a trip to the grocery store.

Of course, once the baby has started solid food and takes an interest in toys the diaper bag probably needs its own room in the house. There's no end to the stuff you can pack in it, because it's always helpful to have an extra toy or snack. It spills over into the car, which is never the same again. The bag does, however, double as a warehouse you can easily visit in the middle of the night if you run out of diapers on the changing table.

It's acceptable diaper-bag etiquette, by the way, to forget one baby-related item as long as you're out with another friend who has a diaper bag. You just have to hope that both of you didn't forget the same thing, and you must gracefully compliment her diaper bag on its cuteness as you borrow the needed item.

Must you have a boy-themed diaper bag if you have a boy? Not unless the boy carries the bag around for you and changes his own diapers.

Without further adieu, here's a short quiz to help you determine your diaper-bag personality:

What does your diaper bag say about you?

Question 1: How many diaper bags do you own?
a.) One. Duh.
b.) One suitcase.
c.) Several, so I can choose one depending on the occasion and the duration of the outing.
d.) Zero. I put anything I need into my purse or work bag.

Question 2: What does Daddy carry when he's out with the baby?
a.) The diaper bag.
b.) A baseball glove, an iPod, a sandwich, an umbrella, tools, a flashlight, and a good book or two.
c.) Whatever I put in his hands on the way out the door.
d.) Nothing. There's a diaper in the glove compartment if he really needs it.

Question 3: What does your diaper bag look like?
a.) Brown.
b.) Lots of pockets. Lots of stuff hanging out of lots of pockets.
c.) Cute and clean. Like something you'd see in a magazine about how to put together your diaper bag.
d.) A Gucci bag.

Question 4: What item do you use most from your diaper bag?
a.) Diapers.
b.) The entire front pocket.
c.) Hand sanitizer.
d.) My iPod.

Question 5: What item do you forget at home most often?
a.) My lipstick.
b.) My wallet.
c.) Accessories that match the baby's outfit.
d.) Diapers.

Results:

Mostly a's: The well-balanced mommy
You're one of the lucky few: only about 1% of mommies fit into this category. And for good reason--by the time most mommies are this put-together they are no longer carrying a diaper bag. You have your priorities straight and even if you don't always get it right all the time, you have a good time trying.

Mostly b's: The out-of-control mommy
The bad news is that you may need to reign in your mommy-ing a bit. It's starting to scare Junior. The good news? You have a lot of friends. And you're always prepared, for everything from a little baby congestion to a natural disaster. However, you may want to take some time to organize your life--your diaper bag doesn't need to solve world hunger.

Mostly c's: The neurotic mommy
Your hair is always clean. As are the dishes. You host playdates in heels. You lost your pregnancy weight by the time you got home from the hospital. And your diaper bag? It's always cute, always packed and always perfect for the occasion. The downside? You may be a bit controlling. Ease up a bit. Forget the wipes once, we dare you.

Most d's: The in-denial minimalist mommy
Self-absorbed much? Admit it: you carry only a purse because you hate the thought of a diaper bag. But you stock it, right? With an extra little packet of Kleenex and a thing of Tic-Tacs, because they double baby snacks and a toy (you buy your breath mints from Starbucks). There's nothing wrong with that (well, except the Tic-Tacs), just fill your iPod with toddler tunes once in a while and get a reality check.

Photo: A picture I was saving for the next time Kalina blogs. She's too busy to type nowadays, so I decided to use it anyway.