Potty Training: Round 1

The ironic part about the fact that I'm writing this post at this time, when Kalina is not yet 2 years old, is that I'm actually in no real hurry to potty train Kalina.

"But you have a new baby on the way! Shouldn't you be frantic? Besides, don't you want to escape your nasty cloth diapers that I always thought were a crazy idea?" you say.

Well, sure, I want Kalina to be potty trained someday. And as some of my mommy friends have encountered potty training success even at this tender age I've occasionally wondered if they might be onto something. I've noticed, by the way, that no matter how early your child does something, there's always some kid who can do it sooner. And yes, it is a race. Would you want to be the very last mom you know still dealing with diapers?

But, frankly, diapers are pretty easy. Even cloth ones. No dashing to find the restroom while picking out pineapples at the grocery store. No stopping the car anywhere, at anytime so the toddler can go do her business. No mopping up all kinds of accidents. Yup, diapers are just fine with me a while longer. Maybe I just don't know what I'm missing?

However, with Kalina asking to use the toilet every night before bed, as well as other occasional times during the day, and having some fairly consistent success, I decided I'd be a pretty bad/stupid mom if I didn't at least let her give it a shot.

A little background: Kalina first used the potty probably as many as 5 months ago. Since then, it's been intermittent, except for when I got a little crabby after Kalina had an accident on my bed an hour before I really, really, really wanted to be asleep in it at the end of my looonng week when Matt was out of town and I was still nauseated from pregnancy and I had a heavy freelance load: for the next month, any kind of toilet use, other than climbing on it with the lid down, was nonexistent. That was fine with me. And then we were back in business.

After deciding with Matt on Tuesday evening that we were going to wait a bit until our schedules slowed down, I rushed out with Kalina Wednesday afternoon, since she'd pottied twice that day, and bought underwear-like training pants in pretty pink. At the store, Kalina didn't want them but was happy to wander around in them later at home. Anything to get out of a diaper change.

And so today dawned and we officially kicked off Day 1 of potty training. Kalina and I smiled into each others' eyes with equal enthusiasm as the first signs of success were flushed triumphantly into our city's sewers (or wherever it goes), and I promised myself she'd mostly have the hang of it by the end of the day.

I almost convinced myself I was having fun. I reminded myself that there would probably be accidents.

I have, of course, heard much conflicting advice about potty training methods, including:
Reward/don't reward
Lavish praise/don't lavish praise
Use Pull-Ups/don't use Pull-Ups
Spend lots of time on the potty/don't spend lots of time on the potty
Make it a big deal/don't make it a big deal
And so forth.

Instead of garnering even more conflicting advice from an armful of potty-training books, I'm winging it. This is probably a bad idea, but I don't want to put Kalina in a diaper (or whatever) long enough to take her to the library. I do take advice from the Internet.

There is, I soon learned, a certain amount of tediousness to potty training. For one, we have to stay home. When we went outside, we had an accident. And it's a beautiful day. For another, I have to watch the child at all times for signs that she's ready for a trip to the bathroom. This means that my grandiose plans for cleaning the bathroom and getting other odd jobs done around the house are out the window. What's more, Kalina's been working on her alphabet and improving her fork/spoon eating skills at the same time--the girl clearly has a lot on her plate. She needs lots of hugs and lots of stories. I've basically been following her around a lot and spoiling her a little.

This didn't get me down, though, especially since the girl ate a lovely breakfast and her entire sandwich for lunch, and so it was a good morning.

As of naptime, we'd had plenty of success and only a couple accidents, but were both worn out (also from the fact that Kalina neglected to nap yesterday in favor of waiting up for another story). Kalina happily let me put a diaper on her for her nap and I happily fastened it and removed myself from potty-training worries for the next 2 hours.

It's amazing how fast the excitement and exhilaration of potty training dissipated after the too-short-for-both-of-us nap. We were united only in the fact that neither of us really wanted to see a toilet again for a good week, let alone read stories while sitting on the floor next to it (okay, maybe that part was just me). But we slogged through the afternoon, me trying to motivate both myself and a now-reluctant girl to keep going now that we've begun. Kalina solved her discontent with the situation by almost preferring to have accidents rather than face the porcelain beast; I solved it by counting down the minutes until Matt would be home with a fresh perspective for both of us. We were both thrilled to see him, and he and I spent most of the evening trying to hand off potty-training duties onto each other while the other did anything but.

And so Kalina's on her way to becoming a big girl, and I'm having my first real experience of wanting her to stay a baby instead. Until now, each big advance has made life easier, but I have my doubts about this one in light of the treacherous path we both have to tread in getting there. I feel like I've been rocketed back to the newborn days, when my life seemed to be ruled almost completely by my child's bodily functions, I was trapped in the house and everything was just messy.

Round 1 is now over because tomorrow we're leaving for a beach vacation. Although progress was made, I still have my doubts and questions about the whole potty training thing. Is Kalina really, truly ready? How many more days will revolve around visits to our boring old bathrooms? Will Kalina begin to refuse to use it altogether, setting us back months or years? Will it spoil our vacation (perish the thought)? Will we be able to pick up where we left off once we get back home? Stay tuned. If you hear nothing, it's because nothing is happening. And that's probably okay for both of us.

Photo: Kalina and her tall block tower. It ended up being 2 very unsteady blocks higher than in this picture, which made it almost exactly as tall as her. After each block beyond the midway point, by the way, she did her signature "Olympic dismount" move (step back, arms wide in a "look-at-me" fashion), which meant that she was really, really proud of herself.

Baby's Big Ultrasound!

Today was Baby #2's big ultrasound! Yay!

Let me expand. For about a week, I've been able to think of nothing else.
1. You get cute pictures. And Kalina ended up looking a lot like her pictures, only even cuter.
2. You get to find out whether you're having a boy or a girl.
3. Who knows? The baby may wave at you!
4. You get to make sure the baby is healthy and happy.

Numbers 1-3 have made me extremely excited this entire week. Who isn't excited about getting a sneak-peek of their anticipated bundle of joy!

And as with Kalina, Number 4 sunk on ultrasound eve, leaving me a bundle of nerves and almost wanting to send just Matt and Kalina to the ultrasound while I stayed home.

Not to mention the fact that I might have a boy! And what in the world would I do with a boy? Babyproof, for one.

Needless to say, I was awake far earlier than I needed to be (a trend lately with a form of early-morning pregnancy insomnia that I'm not liking) and could do nothing but a routine of fret-pray-fret-pray until 8:15 rolled around and I was in the ultrasound chair and Matt and Kalina and Lamby and Mountain Lion and Blue Bear were in another chair, rooting Baby 2 and I on.

The first glimpse we had zeroed in on the baby's spine, and I admit I breathed an initial sigh of relief. You need a spine. The baby's looked good. Check that off the list.

We soon found the brain (sigh of relief), four-chambered heart beating at 148 beats per minute (sigh of relief) and other major organs (sigh of relief).

And our kind ultrasonographer spent lots of time trying to get a cute profile shot, and a cute face shot, and cute shots of the arms and legs. Once she had zeroed in on the baby's cute face, she switched on the 3D/4D function and commented that this baby looks a lot like Big Sister. We agree, so far! And are pleased that Baby 2 is likely to be as cute as Kalina. Not that there was much doubt.

We also chatted about Kalina's ultrasounds, which were done by the same ultrasonographer, which I think is cool.

We noted that this baby seems fairly active, and was moving hands and arms and feet all over in cute ways. Another early walker?

And then came the end of the ultrasound, when the ultrasonographer told us the baby weighs approximately 10 ounces (good) and is right on schedule, maybe about 3 days small, but I think that's right where Kalina was at this time.

But wait!!! What are we forgetting??? Pregnancy brain did not make me overlook one big thing: I asked the ultrasonographer if she could tell whether the baby's a boy or a girl.

We took a peek. This baby being as uncooperative as Kalina was during hers, we couldn't quite tell for sure, however based on all of her looking around, and a few quick glimpses, she was pretty sure the baby's a GIRL!!!

Of course, no ultrasound is certain, but we're taking her word for it: she has tons of experience and she sounded as sure as she was with Kalina. And if there's a surprise at the end of this, that's fine too!

We're both very excited for our new little girl, and Kalina (who did spectacularly well during the ultrasound, by the way) seemed pretty excited, too.

Actually, I have to admit to being ecstatic. I'm 100% confident I would be just as ecstatic if the baby had turned out to be a boy in the ultrasound, so I think it's a combination of relief from seeing a healthy baby and enjoying knowing a bit more about our little family.

What's more, I still don't have to delve into the mysteries of raising a boy. Kalina's sweet dresses and other outfits will hopefully make their appearances again (although being born in a different season will force us to buy some new things, too :) ), and we'll all sit around having tea parties and staying relatively clean. Can't wait!

Most of all, as you can imagine, we feel so grateful and blessed that it looks like we'll have another healthy little baby!

Photos:
1. Does she have Kalina's nose? We're so grateful for this sweet picture!
2. Another nice one.
3. Profile. Is she smiling?
4. The ultrasonographer managed to catch the baby yawning! Did you know that unborn babies yawn? Crazy! I guess she'd had a big morning.

Uh-oh. Trash fell down. Fountain broke.

Most toddlers would agree that riding in the car is no fun, and Kalina would certainly agree. Fortunately, with the advent of two-way communication that does not necessarily include crying (for either of us), car trips have become more bearable as Kalina gains more experience with the English language.

For one, I can incentivise almost every trip, whether it's a jaunt to the park (easy) an expedition to the grocery store (trickier: "Will you help me find eggs? And bananas? And milk?" Three of her favorite things to find), or a visit to the doctor (nearly impossible if I didn't plan a visit to Aunt Nancy or a park or even the grocery store afterward, if at all possible).

But mostly, it helps that we're able to converse as we go. I find our conversations cute, if redundant, and Kalina finds them vastly useful in conveying to me the vital knowledge that a green bus is in our vicinity, and that she would like to see another green bus as soon as possible.

To which I reply, "We'll look for another green bus, will you help me find one?" and bank on her being content in anticipation until she forgets the search 45 seconds later on her discovery of a dump truck, at which point we'll begin looking for another dump truck. And so on.

It should be noted that Lamby, or Cow, or White Doggie, or Mountain Lion, or White Cat, or whichever companion she's chosen for the trip will generally aid our search by being held up by the neck to be able to see out the front window (and also directly into my rearview mirror) better. Cute, cute, cute.

Over a month ago, while we were driving to the grocery store on trash day, Kalina noticed that one of the blue trash cans along our route had tipped over.

"Uh-oh, trash fell down!" she worriedly informed me.
"You're right, the trash can did fall down!"
"Uh-oh, trash fell down!" she said more emphatically, frowning and tearing up a little.
"That's okay, someone will pick it up again!" I brightly reassured her. The girl was clearly distressed and I was hoping to smooth it over.
"Uh-oh!" She reaffirmed.

And with a combination of sympathy and a positive outlook for the future of the garbage can, we repeated this exchange several times until we got to the store. And on the way back (despite the fact that I clearly noted that someone must have picked it up, because there were no fallen trash cans anywhere). And then every time we took that route. And now about 5 times a day.

Not only that, we've added a broken fountain to the conversation. It used to spew water. Now it doesn't, so it's broken.

Poor Kalina. She does worry about things, and so her sweet little mind needed to figure out a solution. Which she did, without any prompting from me. Now the conversation goes something like this:

"Uh-oh. Trash fell down. Fountain broke."
"Yes, Sweetie, that's right."
"Uh-oh. Trash fell down. Fountain broke."
"Yes, but someone will take care of them!"
"Di-dah" (this means Daddy. She reverses the syllables because it's cuter that way.)
"Sure, Sweetie, Daddy will take care of them!"
Smiles.

And we still have the conversation several times a day. Daddy must be busy!

We told Matt that his official job now is trash-can-picker-upper and fountain-fixer, and so he mounted a re-branding effort to teach Kalina that really, he's a Scientist. Here's how that went:

"Kalina, Daddy's job is a Scientist!"
"Scientist."
"That's right! What does Daddy do?"
"Trash fell down! Fountain broke!" Triumphantly.

Photo: Kalina in her car.

A family weekend in pictures

Last weekend, members of neither the Hanks nor Odegaard sides of our family could resist Kalina's cuteness any longer: she had visits from her Great Uncle Alan and Great Aunt Diane (my uncle and aunt on my dad's side) as well as her Grandpa Les (Matt's dad).

Here are our best photos, in chronological order:

A quick picture before dinner on Friday night at Aunt Nancy's place, with my Uncle Alan and Aunt Diane. Kalina was not quite confident enough for me to be out of the picture. Cousin Poky also wanted her moment of fame. (Actually, we were using Poky and anything else we could find--like a super-cool tennis ball--as bait to get Kalina up on the couch. It turned out that Mommy was the best bait.)


Feeding the geese with Daddy and Grandpa Les at "Goose Park," one of Kalina's favorite activities. She's quite good at it, and can hit a goose point-blank in the face with a handful of Cheerios before we can (or choose to) remind her to be gentle.








Chasing after a family of baby ducklings (because who wouldn't want to catch a baby duckling?). Fortunately, it's not hard to escape a land-bound toddler whose mommy doesn't want her close to the lake (although if it hadn't been right near a lake, I probably wouldn't have been able to resist seeing how close she could get). That's my girl!







Demonstrating a pull-up for Grandpa Les. She's pretty good at that, too.












No trip to the park would be complete without the chance to sit on a bench, another of Kalina's favorite activities.








Breakfast with the Hanks family on Monday morning. Kalina once again wowed the group by eating Lima beans. Still not sure about the newcomers, but decided they'd be okay as long as Aunt Nancy was there.





Checking out the bamboo at the local giant garden, where everyone patiently followed pretty much wherever Kalina wanted to go. Apparently they all thought she was as cute as I did.






At the 11th hour, Kalina, with some prodding, allows herself to be held.









We even got a smile!








Thanks for the lovely weekend, everyone!

Anticipating Baby #2

Some women really do glow when they're pregnant. They glow not because of the extra blood rushing through their facial vessels, but because they're in their element--safely harboring and nurturing a new life even while they continue their everyday plans (which usually include elaborately decorating nurseries and playing Mozart to their unborn child).

I make it no secret that I do not glow while pregnant (nor do I show, apparently, but that's probably another post). And I'll make it no secret that it's even more challenging to glow the second time around.

Why? You ask. When I already know the extreme thrill of bringing a new bundle of joy home and raising it into a bubbly cherub of a toddler? I'd argue that it's because I know the work that goes into producing an angelic little girl (which mine generally is nowadays, I must confess). And if the bundle of joy were truly joyful, so would I be (side note: I've never seen a Hallmark card that celebrates a bundle of cries, have you?). Besides, I'm too busy to glow.

That's not to say I'm not excited. After all, with the practice child nearing age 2, I have a few tricks and ideas up my sleeve for perfecting the second one. Here are my main expectations for Baby #2:

1. Baby #2 will sleep better.
2. Baby #2 will not present any new parenting challenges, especially colic, acid reflux, eczema or a strong will. Let alone anything even more challenging.
3. Baby #2 will have his or her own endearing personality and individual cuteness that's different from, yet equal to Kalina's.

And we will get along just fine.

Naturally, Kalina and the new baby will be best of friends, too, happily sharing toys and fixing themselves peanut butter sandwiches while I take pictures and cook lavish dinners.

In short, the next child will not only be just as adorable and sweet as Kalina, but easier as well! Can you believe my good luck?

And this is how I get through my days: regularly lying to myself as I ignore the advice that I should be lifting no more than 25 pounds, taking it easy, eating lots of small meals, nesting, spending all of my time dreaming about the perfect new baby, and sitting down.

I've also made a few pregnancy resolutions to ensure this experience is more enjoyable for me than the last.

1. I will milk it for all it's worth.
2. I will milkshake it for all it's worth (this balances out because I so rarely have time for milkshakes that I think I'm drinking less of them than I did with Kalina).
3. I will wear my regular clothes for as long as possible.
4. I will buy at least 1 silly new thing for the baby, even if it's a girl and she already has everything she needs from Kalina.
5. In my third trimester, I will sleep in every weekend since it's rare to get any good nighttime sleep at this point or for months afterward (Matt doesn't know this yet).
6. I will try not to forget that I'm pregnant, unless that's what's most convenient for me at the time.
7. I will not let the nurse decide when I get the epidural. I will decide when I get the epidural. I will not wait long.

In this way, I will have a shot at beginning my new life with the energy to make it through at least the first few months, possibly longer. I suspect m&ms (for both Kalina and myself) and possibly even the occasional educational DVD will come into play as well.

Baby update:
On Monday I had another doctor's appointment, and we once again heard the heartbeat loud and clear, coming in at 156 beats per minute. The doctor speculated with me on the old wives tales predicting girl or boy. The relatively fast heartbeat points to girl, while my lack of nausea points to boy. So it's a 50/50 shot, we reckoned. I'll hopefully find out on May 7th. By May 8th, the new nursery/former guestroom will be adorably decorated, so if you come to stay with us you may be sleeping in a crib.

I've only gained 4 pounds over my whole pregnancy (and I'm almost halfway through it, yes I'm proud). While this is good news, I was disappointed in the fact that the doctor didn't encourage me in eating more milkshakes, a practice I had to resort to last time to produce any kind of a baby bump. So I'll continue to focus on veggies and trust in her reassurance that the baby's just fine even though he or she isn't making much of an outward impression.

Photo: See why Kalina will be a great big sister?

Ham and eggs

Today was a fun day for Kalina. In fact, the shallow side of the Easter holiday seems to have been made for the girl. Lambs, bunnies, chicks, ducklings and eggs--Kalina was in her sweet little version of Heaven.

We kicked off the holiday yesterday by dying eggs with Aunt Nancy. Kalina, who loves anything having to do with eggs (except, often, eating them), excitedly assumed her place at the table in her booster seat while Aunt Nancy and I got everything ready to go. "Eyah!" Kalina said happily, over and over. Yes, "egg" is a 2-syllable word in our house (as is "trash" and "more," to which somehow an "n" is also added after the "m").

We had thought some things through, but not others, and once the initial thrill of seeing white eggs magically turn various shades of blue, pink and yellow had worn off, and Kalina learned that we weren't comfortable with letting her hold eggs nor drink the dye, she was ready to be done. Aunt Nancy and I contentedly finished the job.

Easter Eve presented me with the joy of putting together Kalina's Easter basket and hiding it. But what do you put in a 21-month-old's Easter basket? A giant chocolate bunny? A couple of live baby chicks? A pony? All were tempting ideas, but I kept it simple, with a couple cheap-but-quality toys and books this year, as well as a toy carrot I finished for her far past my bedtime last night. I just can't bring myself to feed my little girl candy (yet).

As predicted, Kalina's favorite part of the Easter basket was the basket itself, which will soon find a use in training her to be the best flower girl there ever was at her Aunt Laura's upcoming wedding (stay tuned in June for that post, which my fingers are already itching to write!).

I hid the basket in the place Kalina hides, just for fun, after every meal: behind the dining room curtain.

The morning dawned and the time came to explain to Kalina that downstairs a basket filled with toys and good things was hiding, waiting for her to find it. "What? A basket? Full of fun stuff? For me? Just like that? Downstairs? Well let's go!" She was all smiles as her posse of Daddy, Lamby and Mountain Lion accompanied us down the steps.

We had to remind Kalina several times that we were looking for a basket as she got distracted by other things, but it took a very appropriate amount of time for her to find it, dismantle it and shoo the nosy cats away from it.

One princess dress (garage sale! $3! not ashamed to admit it!) later and we were off to church, where we bounced along to celebratory songs about the fact that Jesus is risen (unfortunately not as exciting to a toddler as the palm branches we all got to wave last week) and a kind stranger in the cry room gave Kalina a blue bear to play with and then let her keep it, despite the fact that Kalina of her own accord handed it back to her when she had to leave the room. A proud mommy rewarded Kalina's politeness with hugs and kisses (not to mention the blue bear).

And then to the destination Kalina was admittedly most excited about: Grandpa's house! We hurried out of our nice clothes (after a few pictures) and sought a dozen Easter eggs Aunt Nancy had hidden around the yard.

Which went something like this:

"Kalina, we're going outside to find Easter eggs!"
"But I'm playing with my wagon!"
"But there are Easter eggs!"
"Fine, but I'm bringing my wagon with me."
"Kalina, can you find the Easter eggs out here?"
"Only if I can tow my wagon behind me and carry some rocks, too."
"Kalina, are there any Easter eggs over here somewhere?" (standing directly beside an egg in plain view)
"Maybe."
"Kalina, why don't you look in this bush for an Easter egg?"
"Wow, cool, guys, there's a colored egg in this bush! Good thing I have my wagon to put it in!"

And from then on, it was a very easy sell. Kalina eventually caught on to the idea as a whole, and as long as the eggs were "hidden" within plain sight and she didn't get too distracted, she would seek them out. The green one was the clear favorite--only the truly special were allowed to hold it. Would she trade it to Uncle Tom for a yellow and orange egg? Only for a split second, at which point she found a stick in the yard to trade to Uncle Tom for her green egg back. He took the bait and ended up with no eggs whatsoever. Yup, Kalina can play his games. And beat him.

Daddy was busy at this time, too. He found: a couple small lizards (including one he caught and carried around for a while, trying with only marginal luck to pull Kalina away from the third Easter egg hunt of the day), a tree frog, a giant woolly bear caterpillar and at least five four-leaf clovers.

Dinner was also a success, and especially the ham, which Kalina wolfed down more of than Grandpa did if you calculate it according to their size. As you would guess, she was also a fan of deviled eggs. "Eyah!" she exclaimed, for the umpteenth time today.

Fortunately, the holiday isn't quite over. We will undoubtedly be holding Easter egg hunts for weeks to come, and eating ham for days.