There are several options for telling your toddler that there's going to be a newborn in the house. They are:1. Include the toddler in every detail of welcoming the new baby, for the full 9 months.
2. Wait until she asks why Mommy's bigger than Daddy nowadays.
3. Let the newborn do it.
We've leaned most closely toward #1. We waffle between making a big deal of expecting a baby, so that Kalina is prepared for the huge change, and trying not to make a big deal out of it, so that Kalina's not freaked. But is there really anything we can do to prepare her?
I've read the following tips for easing the transition:
1. Have the toddler and the newborn exchange gifts.
2. Spend plenty of quality one-on-one time with the toddler after the baby is born.
3. Let the toddler "help" with the baby as much as possible.
We will be doing all of these. What we still need advice on is:
1. How do you get one child to sleep while the other is screaming?
2. How will I open doors, use the bathroom, or cook dinner, assuming Little Sister is as needy as Big Sister was/still is at times?
3. If Big Sister is riding in the basket of the grocery cart, and Little Sister is on the seat, what's the point of even going grocery shopping? Do we have to go twice a day to stock enough food?
Despite my misgivings, I don't think the transition will be 100% painful, after labor and delivery, anyway. Here's why there's hope:
1. It doesn't seem to bother Kalina when I hold other babies, as long as I still pay attention to her.
2. Kalina seems to think babies are cute, mostly because they're little (or "teeny tiny," as she says in her cutest little voice). She likes to wave at them, and she would potentially even let one hold her hand (however, anyone between the ages of 6 months and Mommy is not to be trusted).
3. Kalina is generally content as long as she's within 3 feet of me and I can half-focus on her. I think that fits most of the parameters of caring for a newborn.
4. Kalina is a caretaker. She makes sure Lamby gets to enjoy the same privileges she gets, and also that Lamby naps, is hugged, eats, drinks, potties and helps pick up. She also is a rule-follower, and an orderly little soul. If anyone tries to feed the newborn Cheerios, for instance, I'm sure to hear about it.
5. Kalina is a big help. She enjoys contributing. I take advantage of this whenever and wherever I can, and am hoping to pass diaper duty off on her entirely by her 3rd birthday (hah!).
And so, while preparing Kalina for a newborn is still probably like preparing a sea squid for the Sahara, I'm usually able to convince myself to remain optimistic. For Kalina's part, she probably thinks a baby is something we'll keep in the closet and bring out for exercise and to eat from a bowl on the floor, but I'm satisfied that she seems to think it's okay for her little sister to live under the same roof.
And really, maybe the less we all know, the better off we'll be?
Photo: Eat the red part, Sweetie, red. (In a friend's backyard a few months ago, enjoying some summer fun, including the fruit Kalina has affectionately named "la-la," before this horrid humidity set in.)
Baby Update: I have a fetal echocardiogram scheduled for Friday at 2:30. I'm not really worried about it, at this point, but I'm sure I will be by then. Please pray!
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