Fair game



Caught! Elise munching on
one of Kalina's sacred stuffed
animals when she wasn't
looking.



I've found that nine-month-olds and nearly three-year-olds have one (and only one, it seems) thing in common: a insatiable desire to play. This is as it should be: not only are my youngsters learning about the world around them, but they're developing their own forms of creativity. Good.

The only problem is that at times, Kalina's world and Elise's world overlap and collide, so while one was planning to cuddle the stuffed kittens and then send them into the kitchen sink for their baths, the other really wanted to give them all a good shake. Both would agree, through their tears of frustration or roars of rage, that these activities are mutually exclusive.

In other words, Elise is now mobile so Kalina has to learn to share. And I'm not talking about the "we'll hide Lamby away for the playdate until your friend goes home but share everything else" kind of sharing--this is the real thing.

The other problem being that Mommy really has no idea what's fair, and the kids are too young to work it out on their own. Is Elise really allowed to hand a sopping-wet, gnawed-on kitten over to Kalina when her turn is up? Yuck. Can Kalina really monopolize all of Elise's stuffed animals simply because "Elise isn't playing with it right now?" I don't think so, but I'm not sure.

So for the time being, I allow Kalina to pile her toys on couches and other high places in an effort to thwart Elise's insatiable curiousity. This is my best strategy, other than forcing the taking of turns to everyone's annoyance, which we do plenty of.

I've also recently designated Kalina's crib as sacred, so all the stuffed animals in there are off limits to Elise's jaws. Except the several stuffies of Elise's that Kalina likes to keep in there, and that I remind her daily belong to the baby.

This sharing thing would be less complicated if Kalina didn't run shrieking from the room, terrified, every time she decided Elise was after the toy she was currently playing with. Even if Elise is happily across the room paying no attention whatsoever to Kalina. Even though Kalina is twice Elise's size.

Fortunately, there are still plenty of ways to have fun at our house. We play a lot of games, sometimes from sunup to sundown, as we navigate our busy lives.

Thanks possibly to endless repetitions months ago, Elise has recently learned the classic game of peekaboo. She's utterly adorable playing it, however, she cheats: careful not to obstruct her view of you looking for her ("wheeerrreee's Elise?!"), the baby holds her hands in the vicinity, but not covering, her eyes. To cover them completely, I suppose, would render the game a bit boring. Even Kalina likes this game, although she doesn't seem to understand that a baby's attention span for searching for her big sister is about two seconds, not five minutes.

We also do races, mostly to get Kalina into her carseat without too much dawdling. She has not yet caught on to my ulterior motives. Poor Elise is a very good loser in these races almost every time.

We also do cleanup games, and teeth-brushing games, and singing games, and anything that helps our day inch its way forward.

Then there are the classics, like rocketship, buzzing bees, tickling fingers, a mouse running up and down the baby, and eating the baby like a cob of corn. Kalina likes them repeated even beyond the amusement of Elise, so by the time we're done, one child is on to other things, tired of being the victim of an imaginary stinging insect, while the other is left thinking it's still hilarious, when, really, it's just not anymore.

For the most part, Kalina is content as a spectator for baby games, but at other times, she wants to join in. Which is all fine and good for tickles, but not when I'm required to blast my nearly three-year-old off to the moon in the same spry fashion as I can my half-as-heavy nine-month-old. I do my best, and then promise that Daddy will pick up my slack when he gets home from work (fortunately, the promise is usually long forgotten by then).

Elise and Kalina both seem to be good at following rules, although even at her tender age, Elise tests them. The baby learns fast, however, and still seems to seek my approval, so she did eventually get the message to avoid the fireplace and the garbage can (but not the elusive cat dish). Kalina, for her part, can be an incredibly gracious sharer at times with her little sister, and when she's in a good mood will happily make sure Elise has plenty of nice things to play with, even at times sacrificing the toy in her own hand to the baby's pleasure.

For instance, in a move that I'm not really sure what to think about, Kalina has designated one of her own stuffed animals as a peace offering to Elise. Upon entering Kalina's room in the morning, the first thing we hear is, "Give Elise the white dog and Kalina wants the brown one."

As you'd guess, Elise is now bored by the white dog and desperately wants the brown one. While it's a shaky peace, then, I'll take it.