First Day of Big Girl Preschool

Kalina picked her whole
outfit by herself!

 First there was gentle-separation preschool. Then there was "big kid" gentle-separation preschool. And on Tuesday, Kalina began preschool for real--no mommies, lots of crafts.

We'd been talking about it for a long time. I wasn't sure whether to break the news slowly months ahead of time, or to bring it up on the way. Parenting lore will tell you it's much better to prepare the child, but for Kalina that often equates to pre-event hysterical anxiety, and sometimes she swims better when tossed into the ice-cold pool without too much time to worry about how to kick and paddle at the same time (theoretically, of course). So we talked about it a little, but not too much.

Despite the fact that Kalina can already compose rhyming poetry, find several states on a map and tie knots, we'll be keeping her from kindergarten until she's 6, just to give her a better start. That means two years of preschool, so this year we're taking it easy. Kalina will be attending twice a week, for 2 1/2 hours each day. That's plenty for all of us, plus we'll still be able to make appearances at library storytime and all the rest. Besides, we'll miss her, and she'll miss us.

The backpack.

Kalina's mood leading up to her first day has been:
1. Denial ("I'm not going to preschool.")
2. Anger ("I'm stressed but don't understand why, so I'll take it out on my little sister and/or Mommy.")
3. Bargaining ("I will only go to Magic House preschool.")
4. Depression ("I'm sad but I don't understand why, so I'll take it out on my little sister and/or Mommy.")
5. Acceptance? ("Lamby is going to big-kid preschool without me because I got a new job and I have to be at work all day.")

On the Thursday prior, we attended a visitation day. I'm not sure who was more nervous in the days and hours before: me or Kalina. Elise was pure excitement--as long as I promised to be by her side. Kalina would rather have stayed home.

We entered the room and found it a zoo--lots of parents and siblings, and a handful of actual preschoolers. The kids were:
1. Happily playing with toys and other kids
2. Quietly passing the time with toys
3. Being introduced, sometimes against their will, to other kids

On a visit to Des Moines
for Matt's work trip, staying
with friends Allison and James

We met one girl who seemed about as enthusiastic as Kalina (not very), and another who eyed her as a potential playmate. I was glad to see that the class was divided about 50/50, unlike her previous class, which contained exactly 1 other girl. It was cute to see how many of the boys gravitated toward the blocks and cars, whereas most of the girls spent significant time with the dolls (no boys came close to that corner of the room). We saw the circle time rug, and the playground from the classroom window, plus several books that we also have at home.

Much to my relief, the teacher was warm, friendly and a self-proclaimed goofball. I think Kalina will like her quite a bit--the girl even politely said "hi" when prompted (I anticipated the cold shoulder). Overall, the visit was a success--but would the first day be?


Kalina's animals, too, have been attending school on occasion, as have Kalina and Elise during playtime. It goes fine when we pretend. They're always a little nervous at first, but are soon put to rights by circle time and playground time.

Inside a teepee framework
at Living History Farms!

With all this preparation,I started to get a bit more optimistic about how Kalina's first day would go, but couldn't shake the memories of kicking and screaming and prying from summer camp.

Kalina couldn't have been in a better mood the morning of her first day. We'd packed her backpack and laid out an outfit the day before, and she got dressed with little or no fuss (remarkable). She accessorized herself--also a rarity.

The girl regularly mentioned that she was nervous, but we were able to talk through her fears with a greater amount of logic than I would've expected from a 4-year-old. She was thrilled to know that God would be going to preschool with her.

The pioneer cabin. Notice
that Elise is letting Allison
hold her!

Kalina's cheer lasted all the way into her classroom, at which point she burst into a flood of anxious tears. But she was soon calmed by some markers, then a box of stuffed animals and finally a light table. We were still playing with the light table when I looked up and realized I was just about the only parent in the room and it really was time to say goodbye. It was one of those, "This is as hard for me as it is for you" parenting moments, but the kind teacher saved the day by guiding Kalina back to the animals as I guided Elise out the door. I listened in the hallway until I was sure I couldn't hear crying anymore (so, all of 2-3 minutes). All the other parents smiled sympathetically, and I knew I was in a good place.

And then? Elise and I had a little too much fun at Target and the shoe store. Shortly after I'd gotten everything unloaded at home, it was time to go get Kalina.

Petting a calf!

"Some parts were kind of okay!!!" Kalina told me ecstatically when I'd pushed through the crowd of parents to her side. Then she hugged me about a dozen times. While we'll never know everything that happened at preschool, I do know that:
-She thought there was a centipede in the "fun house," and that it was going to pinch her, so she had a conversation with her teacher about it.
-She made two friends. She doesn't know their names, and she didn't play with them, but one found her bracelet after it had been missing, and they had a little conversation about it. Not sure why the other one is her friend, other than the fact that she's a girl who happened to be standing in close proximity to us when I picked Kalina up.
-The playground was a little bit boring, but it also cheered her up.
-They had shark cookies for snack (it was one boy's birthday today).
-Best of all, she wants to go back!