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| This was the main image on Elise's Nature Club flier. Who could say no? |
1.) Things that she'll forget about
2.) Things that she won't forget about, that are somewhat achievable, and that she'll politely bring up every chance she gets
3.) Things that are impossible, but she still thinks can or should happen and so she'll bring them up every chance she gets
As her mom, it's my job to figure out which kind of idea we're talking about in each case. For instance, when she was 3 or 4, Elise wanted to go to the beach so she could swim out to a reef, capture a clownfish and seahorse, and bring them home as pets. Never mind that the promise of an ice-cream sundae didn't reliably get her to even put her face in the water (and this is a girl highly motivated by treats...). This was a #3 type of idea, so she didn't really let it go and we did eventually get her to a beach, at least. She can swim now, but fortunately has realized that you don't just paddle out to coral reefs and collect new pets, and she enjoys chuckling about this idea when we discuss it. Outgrown (at least for now), so we can check it off the list, until she becomes a marine biologist or something and actually gets to go collect reef life for real, legally, as "study animals" (pets). Or worse, until she becomes a teenager and begins begging to enlist in a SCUBA course and spend her summer on a boat or island somewhere in a legitimate program that costs a fortune and raises a lot of parenting eyebrows.
She also tried really hard to actually fly, and believed for a while that she has. The idea still comes up every so often (most recently, as she spent Saturday developing "Plane-o-Shoots" for her smaller stuffed animals, and tested them off the balcony).
[Kalina, on the other hand, traditionally has two types of ideas: The impossible and the strangely convoluted. For instance, she's dreamed of a world in which everyone walks on the ceilings ("It's so clear and uncluttered!") and she wants her house when she grows up to have a bunny room with a ledge all around that the bunnies can't jump over. So people could come visit, and there would be little spots to put lettuce and treats, and, and, and...but I digress and so, generally, does Kalina. If she can do it the difficult, complicated way, she will. This occasionally makes life really interesting and complex and difficult, but most of the time her ideas last only for the moment. They're just fun to think about and build on, but there's no need to actuate them. Thank. Goodness. Naomi's ideas are still often based in imagination--for instance the idea that she's adopting her stuffed animals as real bunnies--but even then, she's often the most practical of the three.]
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| November-ish |
But I digress. Judging by the fact that every conversation within earshot of the 8-year-old eventually veered off in the direction of nature club, and it didn't involve capturing live clownfish with just a net and no permission from any wildlife regulation agency, this idea was probably the second type.
Actually, I liked the idea of a nature club. We've struggled--a lot--to get anyone much older than Naomi to come play, and the older girls, who'd enjoyed a vibrant social life a year and a half ago, were pretty bummed. And so was I, honestly. Plus, there's nothing better for kids than trekking through (safe) woods with a pack of peers and the illusion of freedom, independence and mystery. But if we planned it, would they come?
As with every one of the kids' relatively realistic ideas, I gave it the true test: making them exert at least as much effort as I would have to. Rather than wave my magic wand and start making things happen, I immediately adopted a support role and guided Elise (and eventually Kalina as she hopped on board) to realize that if a nature club were going to happen, lots of other things would have to happen first. Worky things.
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| Naomi insisted she was fine with just shorts. |
So I tried to make sure lots of other things happened--and as it turned out, Elise persisted. She and Kalina discussed survival skills and plans and first aid. We studied edible plants. Elise convinced me to swap out her regular spelling words for nature-themed words. (Sometimes loosely nature-themed, but as long as I used each word in a nature-themed sentence, she didn't much notice.) The girls spent time in the woods devising schemes for a fort of some sort. They were inspired by the Native American lifestyles we were studying in school, and passed the time nicely.
Every so often, though, Elise needed more meat. So I handed down the assignment to make a flier I could send out to the moms. We set a date and time based on my memory that sometimes the weather briefly gets warm in mid-January. We also talked about audience, and how it'd be easy to get her friends excited, but tougher to convince the moms to make time in their schedules, and especially on any kind of a regular basis (as I'd well learned in the past year and a half). But I figured that a cute, non-threatening poster made by an adorable and enthusiastic 8-year-old might send the message better than any run-of-the-mill text from me.
Elise decided that the goal of the Girls Nature Club would be to "equip your child to survive in the woods in case they got lost. They should be able to make shelter, find food and live in the woods." This sounded ambitious to me, but really perfect as well.
Bursting at the seams, Elise started spreading the word among her friends and I'd heard a lot of sincere-sounding "that sounds fun!" from the moms. By Christmas, I'd texted out two fliers, knowing I'd have to re-text in January. And by mid-January, we had a lot of yeses!
In the week leading up to the day, we all washed our hands a lot to avoid spoiling all the fun with germs. And there was weather to watch, too, as a potential Friday afternoon ice storm made its way towards our house. We stocked up on supplies to make survival bracelets (Kalina had given Elise some supplies for Christmas that Elise was happy to share with her friends), discussed snack options and rules, learned how to teach survival-bracelet making and kept the house clean. Elise made me text everyone's mom to have them bring/wear muddy-weather clothes, due to the cold, rainy forecast. Elise spent a good deal of time fretting about whether everyone else would be adventurous as she is. I assured her they probably wouldn't, but that's part of organizing a group.
I'm not sure Matt or I actually expected Nature Club to happen, but sure enough, the day arrived, the hour arrived, and people started showing up--including a friend for Naomi, whom I'm pretty sure Naomi scared with her wild exuberance at having so many people around.
Elise's original idea was to hold Nature Club entirely outdoors. I'm a huge fan of this idea (as long as I can reasonably well supervise without literally having to stand outside the entire two hours) but the cold, wet, muddy, snowy landscape prevented this. Elise was disappointed, but consented to setting up in the basement. So after a visit to the bunny's cage (which apparently everyone got into at some time or another), the girls holed up in the basement and begin cranking out survival bracelets from paracord. Naomi and her friend bounced around the house, and Naomi's friend's mom and I didn't hear much from the older girls for like an hour--or not until they needed help finishing their bracelets.
Then the girls dove into the trail mix ingredients, nearly annihilating the M&Ms before I even noticed--and put a stop to--half a dozen hands reaching directly into bags of ingredients. Yikes. They each eventually assembled a baggie and then headed outdoors in their various boots or old tennis shoes. Or, unfortunately, new tennis shoes.
Many of which turned out to not be sufficient for actually keeping out the stream as the girls trekked directly through, as I soon found out. Elise, later: "I just thought everyone would all enjoy adventuring through the stream the same way I do." She proudly led them to the peninsula, to the log and to other favorite landmarks, and to her credit, when I called, back home (although she sent back one girl's brother who'd been sent to fetch them). By then, several girls were "freezing," and at least three had thoroughly wet feet, socks and shoes (including Kalina).
The moms had mostly arrived by the time the girls were coming in the door, along with several siblings whose shoes were also wet. With no chance at fitting on our 3x5 doormat, our entryway soon became one big muddy puddle as girls attempted to round up their belongings (a large portion of which got left behind), say goodbye and head out, with me apologizing profusely to the girls' moms for the wet footwear.
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| 10+ inches of snow in January! Matt, Kalina and Elise get all the credit for building these snowmen: Naomi and I were warm inside. |
1. I learned to be very specific about the rules regarding each and every questionable activity Elise and others could possibly dream up. Even the ones that I thought were obvious. Laughingly saying, "and don't go in the stream!" a week before the event apparently isn't going to cut it. But no one in their right mind would go through a cold stream on a cold, wet day in January, would they? Except a whole pack of girls following Elise.
2. Elise learned that visitors can occasionally be difficult and leave large messes in bunny cages, on floors, and elsewhere.
3. Elise also learned that it takes time and patience to teach something new to a group.
4. Yes, people do respond more favorably to an adorable flier made by a sweet and enthusiastic 8-year-old than they do to an everyday text.
Everyone assured everyone else that it was a great time, and we hope they're telling the truth. After all, Elise already has the next one on the calendar.
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