Waiting patiently

One thing I've been working on with Kalina is the concept of "waiting patiently." Patience is such a lovely virtue, and especially in a toddler, and especially, especially in a toddler who is expecting a new sibling any minute. I knew Kalina had mastered the technique today as she made her stuffed cow and donkey wait patiently as we built them fire trucks out of blocks (Cow had to wait even longer than Donkey, since we built Donkey's fire truck first). Eventually both animals were happily situated in their fire engines, but each had endured a patient wait.

Nowadays, it seems like we're all waiting patiently. Every night is like Christmas Eve, but we have no idea whether "Santa" will come or decide to hold off for another day, and whether we'll get the fun new toy we wanted, or will be stuck with coal. (I'm pretty sure we'll get the toy.)

It's hard to know what to tell Kalina:

"Sometime soon, when the baby decides to come, Mommy and Daddy will go to the doctor at the hospital. Mommy will have to stay a few days."
*Frown,* said Kalina. And then bravely, "And Kalina will stay back home with Grandpa."
I could've kissed her for making that connection, and I probably did. What a trooper.

But then, every day the poor girl reminds me that I'll be going to the doctor. Which I do once a week, but not necessarily to have the baby, and I'm back in an hour or so, and so you can see where there might be some confusion.

It's also always strange saying goodnight to Kalina every evening not knowing whether I'll see her in the morning. How do you explain that to an extremely attached 2-year-old? (I don't even try.) Or to an admittedly also very attached Mommy, for that matter?

We've also been reading "big sister" and "new baby" books, which Kalina seems to enjoy. Today she effectively fed Lamby a "bottle," which was actually a toy bowling pin. I think she's picking up on the whole idea of having a baby around the house.

As for me, the fact that we'll be embarking on more newborn adventures first hit a few months ago when I held one. A brand-new, 2-day-old, teeny-tiny, wobbly-headed little boy. The sweet little guy slept peacefully in my arms for almost an hour, and was easily calmed by his mommy when he decided to fuss a little. I kind of missed newborn Kalina.

The experience couldn't have been nicer, and yet it left me shaking in my flip-flops at the prospect of actually having one of my own. The memories pelted me like shrapnel, the middle-of-the-night feedings first and then the crying and then the middle-of-the-night feedings again. And the diaper changes, which are endless and complicated and always messy.

And perhaps most of all, the complete inability to just hand the baby off to someone else who can make all her problems go away, because I'm the end of the road.

Besides, newborn Kalina was nothing like the newborn I'd held. Calming her generally required the likes of patting my head while rubbing my stomach while riding a unicycle with a flat tire, as well as extensive amounts of paperwork and a clone of myself. At least that's what it seemed like at the time.

It just happens that Kalina and I get along so much better now than we did back then. And no wonder. Based on her preferences about music, wearing socks and where the cats are at any and all times, we were getting it all wrong when she was a newborn. Good thing she can (and does) tell us what's bugging her now.

And here I am starting over. And I know exactly what I'm getting myself into, except for the fact that now my 1 hour of sleep/free time each day will be eaten up by my voracious, albeit adorable, toddler, who I'm sometimes convinced is only a sweetheart because I can take her to the park anytime we want and I rarely withhold stories from her when asked.

Fortunately, Matt and I are mostly prepared. Our freezer is stocked with nutritious home-made meals. Our house and cars are clean and relatively clutter-free. We've talked many times about what we'll do differently with this baby (and have spent about 5 seconds addressing what we'll do the same). We've discussed our roles, including Kalina's. We've discussed labor. We have almost all the supplies, and almost all of them are clean and fresh and nice for Little Sister. Nursery pictures to come.

I think we're both looking forward to the challenge of seeing if we can get this one to sleep like a normal child, and whether all kids hate:
-changing clothes
-tummy time
-"after-bath"
-being set down anywhere, at anytime
as much as Kalina did. It will be nice, in a way, to have new issues.

I have not packed the hospital bag, but I've at least started a list of what needs to be in it. I realized this was very irresponsible last night as I was experiencing regular cramping while drifting off to sleep. Eh, I'll pack tomorrow.

As for the book, all 72,000 words of the first draft are written and approved by the client, and I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be officially on maternity leave after this Friday as planned (having wrapped up a few additional loose ends).

And with most of our work complete, we've been able to have some fun as well (see the previous post). At the risk of utterly spoiling Kalina, we've been heading out to parks and on walks, reading lots of books and just goofing off. The other day, for instance, we all played in a giant sandpit and caught imaginary fish (made out of either Kalina-sized handfuls of sand or pure air) with imaginary rods (made out of the same materials), tossing them into the "livewell" (which was originally a "swimming pool" that Daddy dug in the sand) and finally eating them. Do you think Little Sister will fit in with our loony little family?

Matt thinks the baby will come any day, I'm thinking I have at least a week. What do you think? (Vote in the poll!)

Photo: Hanging out at the EPA lake, where Daddy works. (Having seen Daddy take a fishing pole to work recently--going in on a weekend--Kalina now seems to think that fishing is Daddy's job.)

Zoo visit! Doctor visit!

Today, Matt, Kalina and I went to the zoo. We really probably shouldn't have:

1.) I spent lots of yesterday achy and contracting (the fake kind, not the real kind), especially when I wasn't sitting down in air conditioning with my feet up. As a side note, are we bad parents for making a bet on whether or not I'd go into labor at the zoo? If I won (I said I wouldn't), I'd get a box of donuts (to share with a hungry hubby and a toddler who loves sprinkles). If Matt won, he'd get the new fishing pole he's had his eye on (we figured the odds were in my favor, but he was willing to risk a box of donuts on it).
2.) Matt has a cold (Kalina and I had it earlier in the week).
3.) Kalina skipped her nap yesterday (right on cue--she skips one every 6th day nowadays) and we knew she'd be likely to skip it today, too, resulting in a trip that might be more trouble than it's worth.

But we're glad we did!

It was a lovely day. The animals at the zoo far, far, far outnumbered the people, and the weather was downright comfortable, at least in the shade. We had fun.

We've finally gotten so we no longer dread a 1 1/2-hour car ride with Kalina with every inch of our beings (or maybe that's just me). We got to be those people I'd always envied who simply "just pack some snacks, books and toys" and hop in the car for a longish drive with their happy child. We saw several fire trucks, fire truck signs, bike signs and deer signs along the way, and those helped keep us all relatively content. We also practiced a few of our animal sounds. We didn't even have to sing a note (although Kalina made up a song or two for us), and we arrived right as the zoo was opening at 9:00.

The zoo is made for walking, and you can begin either at the North America entrance or the Africa entrance. It's quite the trek in between, but they have buses that can take weary/pregnant/toddling visitors back and forth. We started in North America, since the giraffe feeding station in Africa (the thing Kalina was most looking forward to) didn't open until 10:00.

Our first stop was the seals. They weren't home--until we went to an underwater viewing area, and Kalina was able to see the creatures soar past the window.

"A seal!" she'd exclaim proudly (we'd asked her to let us know if she saw any) every time any of them swam by. I think she could've stayed there all day, but Mommy and Daddy wanted to see more so we moved on.

Next came the polar bears (we got a side view of one--not too exciting) and then the puffins. We were fortunate enough to have timed our visit to the puffins to be during feeding time, so Kalina helped the birds find their breakfast by pointing out the small, dead fish as they were flung into the water. Irritated when a fish wasn't eaten before it reached the bottom, she nevertheless had a great time watching.


So great that the lowly puffins became the highlight of our zoo trip. Every five minutes we had to tell the poor girl "We can see the puffins again on the way out, Sweetie! Now, let's go see the lions!" And whatnot.

We finally managed to convince Kalina that there were, in fact, other animals at the zoo. We then boarded a bus (Kalina's first bus ride!) to take us to Africa, and the giraffes.

Kalina was "all done" with the bus about 5 seconds into the ride, but fortunately Daddy was able to distract her well enough that by the end, Lamby, at least, "liked the bus."

We high-tailed it to the giraffes, excited to see how Kalina would like feeding them.







Unfortunately, the giraffes took a distant second place to the puffins--especially since none of them felt particularly like getting handed bunches of lettuce leaves by a toddler (or anyone, for that matter--they had plenty of food elsewhere). Heartless creatures.








We moved on to elephants, lions, baboons and the rest before realizing that 2 out of 3 of us needed to rest and eat. Kalina was close to falling asleep in her stroller, it seemed like (although that would never happen, her enthusiasm, even when the elephant splashed in some water National Geographic style, was waning fast), and I was getting quite dizzy from heat and lack of food.

The respite helped, and although Kalina, our little homebody, probably would've been fine heading home then and there (with one more stop "back to the puffins," of course), we pushed on for quite a while longer.

Some of the biggest hits were the statues, large and small, scattered throughout the park. I'm not quite sure why they have animal statues at a zoo, except maybe they know little kids like them. At any rate, Kalina had a blast scaling them. Even though the rhino (pictured) was a little high and scary, Kalina knew the photo would be worth a little worry, and bravely asked to climb onto its back with Daddy's help. "Down!" she demanded as soon as the shutter clicked, and then she immediately wanted to see the photo of that time she was so brave.

Three identical baby elephant statues were also a huge hit. Although only one is pictured here, we do, indeed, have a photo of Kalina on each, by her request. I'm really glad cameras have gone digital.

Smaller pedestal-top statues all warranted a nice petting by Kalina--she takes care of all the animals she sees, it seems.


We saw snakes, otters (sleeping, unfortunately), gorillas, chimpanzees, bobcats (which Kalina tried to feed a rock--fortunately the cats were behind glass), and plenty more cool animals, in addition to plenty of random caterpillars and frogs and such along the path, before we decided that it really was, for real, time to call it quits. At which point we headed to the aviary, where Kalina worriedly watched a Victoria Crowned Pigeon ("peacock," to Kalina) strut within 2 feet of us as Daddy reassured her that everything was okay. One stop at the flamingos later (flamingos sleep standing up! Can you imagine? And Kalina obliged our funny sense of humor by standing up and deciding "Kalina's sleeping!"), and we were off to a final viewing of the puffins (what luck--feeding time again!) before heading back to the car.

We were hoping (and planning, really), that Kalina would sleep on the way home, but her response to anyone, even Mommy, napping was a firm "no, no, no, no!" Oh well.

We stopped and got Mommy's box of donuts, which Kalina related later as one of her favorite parts of the trip.

Puffins, sprinkles--what a day! Early bedtimes for all.

Doctor Visit:

I visited the doctor on Tuesday for my 36-week appointment. I also had an ultrasound to check the baby's size and make sure she's growing.

She is! The baby is now supposedly 5 lbs. 11 oz. I wouldn't put too much stock in that estimate, though. The ultrasound was fun, it's cute to see the baby.

The doctor was happy to see that the irregular heartbeat had cleared up, and also that we now know in advance about the little hole. No worries whatsoever.

The baby is sitting pretty low, and signs point to me delivering early again. Of course, there's no scientific way to tell, but from what I know about myself, and the fact that I spent a lot of yesterday having fake-yet-uncomfortable contractions, I'm pretty sure Little Sister will be out in the world to greet her due date.

And we're almost ready! Except for packing the hospital bag, writing Kalina Kare instructions, pre-registering at the hospital, another load or two of baby laundry, another trip to Babies R Us, cleaning the house, wrapping a present for the baby to give to Kalina, finishing the book and other freelance projects, and a few other minor details, we're good to go!

All about Little Sister

It's high time we all got to know Baby #2 a little better. So, let's begin. We'll start with what we can surmise based on the world around her.

Perhaps most intriguing is the comment made to me by an acquaintance recently. He told me that whatever the first one is like, the next one will be the opposite. His theory was that God does it that way to maintain a happy balance in the home.

Don't get me wrong--I don't want to base my personality prediction of #2 solely on #1, but the man has a point. In this case, Little Sister will be:
-Outgoing
-Independent
-Strong-willed
-A good sleeper (*cheers*)
-A bad eater
-Whatever the opposite of sensitive is
-A Daddy's girl
-Destructive and disorderly

Hmm. I may have my work cut out for me, but at least I'll be relatively well rested.

As far as family dynamics are concerned, my family has been discussing lately how Little Sister will be very well managed--and also very well taken care of--by Big Sis. And yet, I'm also expecting that Little Sister, with her outgoing, extroverted personality (because we desperately, desperately need an extrovert in this family!), will draw Kalina out of her shell a bit.

"Don't be silly," she'll say. "8-month-olds aren't scary, even if they can crawl. You could totally take 'em. Let's go say hi." And Kalina will get dragged into all kinds of terrifying social situations by her tiny sister, and will be better off for it.

But maybe, with Little Sister's strong will, she won't want to be "managed" by her older sister? After all, most kids don't like to be told "You can use the green shovel and the red shovel. Now, dig. I want to see that bucket getting filled." Or will she put up with it because she'll be social and will want to play with her bigger sister? Maybe she'll happily humor Kalina because anything to an extrovert is better than playing alone? Only time will tell.

Judging by Little Sister's kicks and rolls and bounces, she'll walk a bit later and therefore, I assume, talk earlier. But I betcha when she does start walking, we'll finally have to put away our fireplace tools and potentially our cats (if we haven't already done so). And I bet when she starts talking, she won't ever stop (not that her big sister won't give her a run for her money!).

Based on the baby's relative lack of hiccups, she won't cry as much as Kalina did. I don't know if the two are related, but Kalina sure did hiccup a lot and then she sure did cry a lot. And both require lots of lung action, I believe. Little Sister has gotten the hiccups only maybe 14-ish times, as far as I can tell, so maybe she'll be a bit quieter (read: happier) in the early months, anyway.

And from my relatively normal pregnancy (i.e., the morning sickness actually ended), I bet Little Sister will be developmentally right on track. Which will have her eating far more sand than Kalina ever did, but probably also occasionally allowing me to leave the room without an entourage. I'm guardedly, guardedly optimistic that we may even be able to leave her in the church nursery at some point. A mommy can dream, right?

A future career path? Well, Kalina seems to be the straight-and-narrow type so it's likely that Little Sister, as a second child, will be a bit more out there. Which for our family, would probably mean something like law or social work, or possibly politics (heaven forbid).

And how will she manage life as an Odegaard? I bet she'll think we're all a bit boring, and will go through a phase in which she thinks she's adopted. Extroverts never understand introverts, after all.

Whatever form Little Sister's personality takes, we'll be so excited to meet her!

The value of sleep (plus, a Doctor Visit!)

As I'm sure you remember (who can forget?), I basically didn't get much of anything you could call sleep between late April of 2008 (thank you, pregnancy) and March of 2009.

Matt sympathetically referred to this time period as sleep torture. "Even criminals and war prisoners of civilized nations are allowed a full night of sleep," he'd remind me. "That's one of the ways they torture people--they wake you up every hour." I did appreciate his comments, they made a lovely excuse for why I felt less than human for most of a year. Ugh.

When you endure sleep torture for almost a year, you don't forget it. Which is why we've unabashedly shushed houseguests, married a schedule, refused to travel for 6 months after Kalina started sleeping through the night, and still occasionally whisper out of habit even if Kalina's sleeping upstairs and we're in the kitchen. We realize we're a bit ridiculous, but neither of us has the heart to change anything. Imagine being locked in an isolation cell for 11 months. How long would it take for you to willingly walk into a closet and shut the door?

And thanks in part to our efforts (and probably in part to prayer and general maturity as well), our little girl now more-or-less happily helps gather all her animals and then heads up the stairs whenever we mention the fact that "it's naptime" or "it's nighttime." After a 20-minute-or-less routine, she sleeps at least 10 hours for one and generally at least 2 hours for the other, falling asleep on her own (along with Lamby, Mountain Lion, Farm Animals, Cats and Frog, of course) and generally doesn't wake up in the middle, and we're all quite content.

But what can be more disruptive to a good nap and a good night of sleep than a newborn? We have yet to find out what damage, exactly, our new addition will do to our well-laid plans, let alone our psyches (and what damage we all will do to hers), but at least our past experiences have taught us a few things.

For one, that good sleep is worth more than money. To that end, we're shelling out the big bucks to protect every night of sleep we possibly can. This has ranged from buying a new crib and mattress so we don't have to transition Kalina to a big-girl bed and risk a sleep fiasco until she's older (not to mention the fact that cribs fit better in our house than twin-sized beds, and it didn't cost us quite a fortune since we're savvy shoppers), to purchasing a window air conditioner on a whim when our air conditioning went out. It'd be hard to place a real number on how much sleep is worth to us, but I think if given the chance, we'd gladly trade a check with 3 zeros on it for the knowledge that our baby would sleep through the night by 8 weeks of age. (We've heard of these types of children--they're the same ones who are entertained by handing them a toy and aren't terrified of everyone over 6 months of age.)

Other things we've learned: We must have some sort of sound machine at least in Kalina's room, we must have a routine, and we must not travel just when we've finally made some progress with sleeping through the night. And one day, maybe within the next year, the sun will come up and we won't be there to greet it.

It's funny, but you'd think that with all our past experience, we'd have discussed the sleep issue more thoroughly. In truth, there hasn't been much to say--we know and agree to everything above instinctively, as the only options that will allow us to survive this whole newborn business. The new crib/mattress and air conditioner decisions were no-brainers. And one time I openly wondered "will you still help me at night, even though you have a real job now?" and Matt said he'd do what he could, and we left it at that. After all, what more is there to discuss? Inwardly, though, I know we're both resolved that it has to be better than last time. Or else the Odegaard species will go extinct.

I do want to make sure I'm prepared, though. I've heard that you can figure out your newborn's natural schedule by keeping track of when she's active in utero. I liked this idea until I realized that while Little Sister's on a fairly pleasant schedule during the day (read: sleeping a lot), she rivals Big Sister's toddler dancing/twirling between the hours of 11 pm and 5 am. We're all in trouble. And yes, Kalina is already waking her sister up--the occasional elbow to the belly will do that, even to a child who hasn't even been born yet!

Pregnancy sleep has, unfortunately, been much ruder to me this time than last time. With Kalina, I remember that once week 33 hit, we were all done sleeping. I think this time it's been very hit-and-miss since maybe week 25? It's all a bit of a fog. Fortunately, I'm also used to managing with less. I've also noticed that when I sleep particularly poorly, I take it really easy on myself and Kalina the next day (if at all possible) and we end up having a lovely day together.

"Do you nap when Kalina naps?" I was asked yesterday. "No, I'm writing a book," I managed to laugh. Who has time to nap? Even Kalina doesn't at times, busy girl. I'm just hoping that her naps last through the first draft. Lamby, for her part, takes the occasional adorable catnap in Kalina's arms. At least one family member is well-rested.

Doctor Visit!

I think this doctor visit was the easiest yet. I'll admit that I was so relieved not to have a really long wait with a toddler, or bad news once I got to talk to the doctor, that I forgot to ask how I'm measuring and how much weight I've gained (which I think is a perfect 2 pounds).

Grandpa babysat Kalina again, and Kalina took the news in stride. "Daddy's at work. Mommy's off to the doctor. Kalina stays home with Grandpa," she recited throughout the morning, without crying or even frowning. The situation was complicated ever so slightly by a 100-degree fever, but Kalina if anything just mellows out when she's sick, and loses her appetite, so it was a non-issue after all. Whew.

The parking lot was empty when I arrived. Despite being 7 minutes early, I was shooed into an exam room immediately and assured the doctor was already ready for me. With the recent baby boom, I'm not used to this treatment. It was lovely, although I wouldn't have minded a 10-minute wait, seeing as I like reading pregnancy magazines and sipping water. And sitting down.

I did end up with a wait, and I'm not sure why except the doctor must have been finishing some paperwork. I got to browse pregnancy magazines after all, where I read that sometimes newborns don't sleep well, and you can help the situation by keeping the lights dim at night.

I assume I'm still measuring small and was glad that the doctor found no cause for concern. The heartbeat sounded just fine to both of us. The several contractions I've had are nothing to worry about. Nor is labor: everything is faster, easier and less stressful the second time. I should "breeze through it," and my nurse had no business telling me that she had me "pegged for a c-section" last time. Hmph. Baby is positioned just fine.

And so, that was it! I got to leave without scheduling any more worrisome appointments (although my next one is an ultrasound to check the baby's growth--it had already been scheduled), and I felt very good about everything.

Photo: Matt's 3 girls at 34 1/2 weeks! Yes, Kalina and I like to dress alike nowadays. We both think it's fun. I don't care what anyone else thinks--it helps facilitate dressing the toddler in the morning. And we only have a few clothes that "match," anyway, so it's not like we do it every day.

The echocardiogram

Yesterday was Little Sister's fetal echocardiogram. I'll admit that this whole time, I've been more worried about getting lost on the way than I was about finding anything wrong. After all, from everything I'd heard, it was all going to be just fine. There was no sense in worrying about something I couldn't change, anyway. Getting lost was much more likely.

However, getting lost (which happened, as anticipated) does not preclude heart problems, and as it turns out, you can not only have to pull over and consult a map on the way to a fetal echocardiogram, but you might also hear bad news once you're there.

I'll tell the rest of the story, but in the interest of not driving all of you crazy, I'll start with the end: the baby's heart has a small hole in it that will cause a heart murmur when she's born. It'll very likely heal on its own within a few months. It's a relatively common problem, and if you're going to have a heart defect, this is probably the one you'd want to have. Should really be no big deal and, on the plus side, it didn't look like anything else was wrong, and it's unrelated to the arrhythmia we heard last time, which had disappeared. So it's kind of good news and bad news, right?

And please don't freak out on me. If you freak out, I will too, and that's the last thing any of us need right now. I want you all to remain level-headed. We wouldn't have even known about this for another month and a half if it hadn't been for the completely unrelated arrhythmia, so no one's allowed to worry, openly, around me, anyway at least until 2-3 days after the baby's birth, which is when it would've showed up. And it's not a tragedy, just a little thing we have to face. In the meantime, you are allowed (and encouraged) to pray--that's the best thing for all of us right now, anyway.

Onto the story.

I got lost on the way to the appointment, and I blame it on the fact that the area I was driving to was cut off on the map and continued on a completely different page, as are most of the unknown places I drive to. I had looked up directions in advance, but that made no difference. I can get lost in a tent.

Fortunately, I had allowed plenty of time and made it to the gorgeous lobby of the Duke Children's Health Center with minutes to spare. I opened the book I'd brought, and kind of hoped the wait would be longer rather than shorter.

It wasn't: within 15 minutes or so they'd come to get me. The ultrasonographer was a far cry from the brisk, businesslike professional I'd convinced myself to expect. We chatted like old friends as she began the ultrasound.

"Wow, your little girl takes great pictures!" she enthusiastically commented.
"My girl at home does, too!" I enthusiastically responded.

This became a common theme through the ultrasound--apparently, Little Sister was cooperating so well that the images we got were pretty much textbook quality.

"I could look at these all day," the ultrasonographer often said. I had my answer for why this was taking so long (not that I minded).

I, myself, enjoyed watching the baby's heart pump away--it was very rhythmic and calming. We could see the blood flowing around, and hear how each section of the heart had its own unique sound. Amazing. I think in another life I would become an ultrasonographer.

She also noticed at one time that Little Sister seemed to be exercising her lungs. The baby of course doesn't have any air in there yet, but she was kind of moving her abdomen where they are. Keep up the good work, Sweetie! You'll need those! Cute.

And then it was time for the doctor to come in, to take another look and answer all my questions. I tried to doze as I waited, relieved that the ultrasonographer was still upbeat and happy. Nothing could be too wrong, right?

I again expected a brisk, businesslike doctor and was instead met with a nice, friendly guy who had a great rapport with the ultrasonographer. We discussed our Norwegian spouses (the name is always a dead giveaway) and nuances of the Norwegian culture. I was impressed by his ability to make interesting smalltalk while potentially diagnosing heart issues in my unborn child.

And diagnose he did. After the scanning was over, he sat down for a chat with me:
"The arrhythmia has entirely disappeared," he said, just as I expected. But he wasn't smiling as he continued, "However, there is something we need to talk about."

Sometimes sentences take entirely too long to say. And the pause between sentences can be even longer, and then the sentences that follow, until you get to the part that states, "but the hole in the baby's heart will most likely heal on its own and cause no problems," can be excruciating.

But fortunately we did, eventually, get to this final sentence fragment (or something like it--I wasn't thinking clearly at the time), and then the doctor used as many words as it took to reassure me that everything really, truly, for real should be just fine.

Little Sister has a birth defect called Ventricular Septum Defect. It's a small hole between the two ventricular chambers that is allowing blood to flow back and forth between them (more or less). The septum is a muscle, with lots of muscle fibers, and what happened is that some didn't seal up completely as the heart was being formed. As the heart grows, the hole should naturally seal. The only thing that's a tiny bit worrisome is that the hole is close to the very bottom of the heart, where there's less muscle that can join together. Still, the doctor wasn't worried.

This shouldn't become a problem, but if it does, it'll manifest itself in difficulty feeding and gaining weight. However, the baby will be monitored with extra appointments and such, so we'll make sure she's okay. And even then, there are "things we can do." I didn't ask what those were.

He added that the only way he could even determine there's a hole was because the pictures were so clear that he could see the blood flow rushing back into the ventricle it'd come from. This is what produces the murmur, which should be audible by 2-3 days after birth. He said that it's nice we'd caught it before birth (even though normally we wouldn't have), because once anyone hears it on a stethoscope, they'll start freaking out--but we'll already know it's just a small hole, and we'll already be planning follow-up care.

The follow-up care will include an echocardiogram before Little Sister leaves the hospital, as well as a visit with him probably 2-4 weeks after birth, and another probably 3 months after birth. It's nice to live so close to a respected health system, and to already be under the care of an expert.

And even though I didn't ask, the doctor also made sure that I understood (and practically had me repeat it back) that there's nothing I did to cause this--not even a genetic factor. It happens. It's fairly common--one of the top 2 conditions they see. It's really no big deal.

He also stressed that we're not allowed to Google this--VSD can be associated with lots of scary things that he's confirmed Little Sister does not have. I will take his advice and I'd strongly encourage you to do the same.

Finally, the doctor said that this won't affect the rest of my pregnancy or my delivery. I think I have his leave to continue to celebrate a mostly healthy baby, or one that should be completely fine by the time she's solidly into 6-month onesies. That's my plan, anyway.

And the arrythmia? It's completely gone, and was probably caused either by my stress at the time or the fact that I'd overdosed on M&Ms in the week or so before my last doctor appointment. But the M&Ms have been out of the picture for a while now, and I've been working to keep my stress levels low (is that an oxymoron?), so we likely won't have to worry about that again.

It was a strange evening last night as the news sunk in for all of us, but there was a toddler to care for and supper to make and my sister's dog to walk as happy distraction. For some reason, we decided we'd all feel better if we had hot fudge sundaes at McDonald's, even at the expense of Kalina's timely bedtime. It worked, at least in the short term, and now the only things left to do are wait and pray that this doesn't turn into a bigger deal than the doctor promised it would.

Preparing a toddler for a baby

There are several options for telling your toddler that there's going to be a newborn in the house. They are:

1. Include the toddler in every detail of welcoming the new baby, for the full 9 months.
2. Wait until she asks why Mommy's bigger than Daddy nowadays.
3. Let the newborn do it.

We've leaned most closely toward #1. We waffle between making a big deal of expecting a baby, so that Kalina is prepared for the huge change, and trying not to make a big deal out of it, so that Kalina's not freaked. But is there really anything we can do to prepare her?

I've read the following tips for easing the transition:
1. Have the toddler and the newborn exchange gifts.
2. Spend plenty of quality one-on-one time with the toddler after the baby is born.
3. Let the toddler "help" with the baby as much as possible.

We will be doing all of these. What we still need advice on is:
1. How do you get one child to sleep while the other is screaming?
2. How will I open doors, use the bathroom, or cook dinner, assuming Little Sister is as needy as Big Sister was/still is at times?
3. If Big Sister is riding in the basket of the grocery cart, and Little Sister is on the seat, what's the point of even going grocery shopping? Do we have to go twice a day to stock enough food?

Despite my misgivings, I don't think the transition will be 100% painful, after labor and delivery, anyway. Here's why there's hope:

1. It doesn't seem to bother Kalina when I hold other babies, as long as I still pay attention to her.
2. Kalina seems to think babies are cute, mostly because they're little (or "teeny tiny," as she says in her cutest little voice). She likes to wave at them, and she would potentially even let one hold her hand (however, anyone between the ages of 6 months and Mommy is not to be trusted).
3. Kalina is generally content as long as she's within 3 feet of me and I can half-focus on her. I think that fits most of the parameters of caring for a newborn.
4. Kalina is a caretaker. She makes sure Lamby gets to enjoy the same privileges she gets, and also that Lamby naps, is hugged, eats, drinks, potties and helps pick up. She also is a rule-follower, and an orderly little soul. If anyone tries to feed the newborn Cheerios, for instance, I'm sure to hear about it.
5. Kalina is a big help. She enjoys contributing. I take advantage of this whenever and wherever I can, and am hoping to pass diaper duty off on her entirely by her 3rd birthday (hah!).

And so, while preparing Kalina for a newborn is still probably like preparing a sea squid for the Sahara, I'm usually able to convince myself to remain optimistic. For Kalina's part, she probably thinks a baby is something we'll keep in the closet and bring out for exercise and to eat from a bowl on the floor, but I'm satisfied that she seems to think it's okay for her little sister to live under the same roof.

And really, maybe the less we all know, the better off we'll be?

Photo: Eat the red part, Sweetie, red. (In a friend's backyard a few months ago, enjoying some summer fun, including the fruit Kalina has affectionately named "la-la," before this horrid humidity set in.)

Baby Update: I have a fetal echocardiogram scheduled for Friday at 2:30. I'm not really worried about it, at this point, but I'm sure I will be by then. Please pray!

A tough doctor visit

Yesterday morning as Matt and I were both getting ready for the day, I mentioned I had a doctor appointment later. He wondered how far along I was, and I proudly told him I'm 32 1/2 weeks, and that a baby born now would likely do very well. We both discussed this fact and our relief.

And then I wandered off to my appointment, leaving Kalina with her Grandpa this time (yay!) and happily read pregnancy magazines until becoming mildly irritated about how long the appointment was taking, and wondering if Kalina would be getting hungry for her lunch.

The doctor finally came in and asked if everything was going well, and I said yes, just measuring a little small (I'm at a group practice so I don't see the same doctor every time). He agreed I was measuring small and said I'd be having another ultrasound just to make sure the baby was continuing to grow. I replied that I'd look forward to it.

He decided that approximately 4 weeks from now would be a good time for an ultrasound, although he almost upped the date due to the fact that I hadn't gained any weight these past two weeks. "Are you eating well?" he wondered. "I'm pigging out!" I informed him, mentally making plans to add more ice cream into my diet.

And then we listened to the heartbeat.
"Did you hear that?" the doctor asked. "It sounded like it skipped a beat."
I'd heard it, as had the new doctor who was shadowing the one with the heartbeat-listener-gadget.
And a dozen or so beats later, "there it is again."
By this time, my heart was making up for any and all missed beats as I tried to figure out what to think. Wasn't listening to the heartbeat something we did just for fun, to make my 45-minute wait worth it? Could it instead show me something may actually be wrong?

The doctor kindly informed me that the heart wasn't actually skipping a beat, it was adding one in just before--which made it sound like it'd skipped a beat. I took his word for it. He also said that this isn't common, but it's also not rare. We'll have to do an ultrasound to look more closely, but the baby is fine, he told me.

Really? Fine? A little internet research later on confirmed for Matt and I that the baby is most likely just fine. Most likely.

In fact, she's fine as long as she's growing fine, according to one website. But what if she's not? Does that make me the world's worst mommy for not eating enough ice cream prior to this? Should I lay off my daily green salad and replace it with cheap pizza?

I am encouraged by the fact that her first two ultrasounds by our favorite experienced ultrasonographer showed absolutely no problems. And this is the first time we've heard anything strange in the heartbeat. Everything should really be just fine.

The doctor said that I'll need to get a Level 2 ultrasound at Duke Hospital so they can take a closer look at the baby's heart, and that they'll call me with a time. They haven't yet.

As if I could be sleeping any worse.

Please pray for the health of Little Sister!