1...2...3!

Starting to smile a couple
weeks ago!

There were a lot of things I fully anticipated when expecting my third child. I knew that Elise might feel more displaced than Kalina (and to adjust my parenting style accordingly), that I would be likely to allow snacking in front of the television out of desperation, and that there would be no naps whatsoever for me.

And there were things I didn't know: that many times when I left the room for a second Kalina would quietly assume the role of baby-watcher, that Elise makes up lovely lullabies and that Naomi would not be able to function without being swaddled until she was a month old.

But one of the very most surprising things about having a third child is this:

It's not that hard.

Some of Naomi's biggest smiles have
been for her sisters. Kalina noticed/
decided that Naomi likes to be
patted on her tummy.

I should probably only whisper that rather than shout it from the mountaintops, as I don't want to make the mommies of one or two children cry. To them, I would say that it's actually harder to have just one or two, at least at first.

I should probably also qualify my statement: it's not that hard because I have plenty of help. We're unashamedly living off frozen (homecooked) meals and the kindness of others. If that weren't the case, I probably wouldn't even have time to write this blog in the first place, so you'd all be left wondering. Probably for years.

Here's why mommying three isn't nearly as stressful as mommying one or two:

Sisters enjoying their blankies
together.

As a new mommy with one child, you have no clue what you're doing. Every new development throws you for a loop, plus you really don't know whether they'll ever sleep through the night (or speak in more than one syllable, or quit being terrified of lint, or wear more than one specific pair of shoes, or say "thank you" without being prompted, or whatever the current struggle is). You also feel like you should be able to parent perfectly. Hah! The jokes on you, and you spend your first year or so learning that.

As a veteran mommy with a new baby, you are torn completely in two as you try to balance the immediate needs of two demanding little people. Your older child instantly has to learn patience, sharing and all those other tough things that stymie even grownups (and mommies themselves), while you effectively grow an extra arm (or the nearest you can possibly come to that). You just feel bad for everyone all the time.

More smiles! We can't get enough!

As a mommy of three, I watch my older children play cutely together while I try to get the sweet new baby to smile. Then they come over and help me, and the baby smiles on all of us. It's not so bad. I also have no grandiose ideas of good sleep (nor need of it in my old age), and everyone's well used to waiting patiently, or at least waiting.

(It's also not always quite so good, although I've only faced tears from all three at once, once.)

With three small children, the days are as interesting as they are long. With one, I can now see that life was a bit...quiet? Now, I'm constantly entertained--even if some days are more drama than comedy.

One of our biggest challenges is the drive to and from preschool. Getting out the door on time? No biggie. Keeping the baby from squalling the entire trip, so we don't have to yell to each other to be heard? Nearly impossible for most of the first eight weeks of the baby's life.

One of Kalina's new
favorite hobbies: baby
holding.

Things have improved on that front, however. Naomi doesn't yell quite as loudly if she's swaddled (or is at least more likely to go to sleep), and for an easy $12 a swaddle blanket that works in the car was delivered to my doorstep. (This is one of many reasons Target and I are good friends.) I've also very recently learned one trick of keeping her happy in her carseat--if I hold the carseat and swing or jiggle it gently, she calms right down and often goes to sleep. This is not possible, of course, in a moving car, nor is it good for my back. But I've learned that the condition of your back inversely correlates to the quality of your mothering.

We also get just plain bored. The baby's young age, plus the stress she endures every car trip, keep us home except when absolutely necessary. Even on preschool days we can pretty much only stare at each other after about 4:00, as Mommy is out of ideas that only require one hand and won't create a giant mess (having used up all the really good ones weeks ago), and the kids resist my brightly marketed but still lame attempts of, "Let's make a block city!" or, "Who wants a coloring page?"

I would be much more fun if I weren't trying to soothe a baby who has never really liked the hours between 4:30 and 10:00, but then, so would a lot of things. Not that she's colicky--she just isn't a late afternoon/evening kind of a girl. My current best strategy is to lure the children to the front yard with snacks, and then hope the neighbor kids can play, or at least that one of the girls will turn up a new pet pillbug, which can keep us busy for a 30 minutes, if it survives that long (or even if it doesn't--our pillbugs are often quite "sleepy").

But really, these are very minor things. Babies are now a piece of cake (still confusing at times--I just give up sooner), and preschoolers can be tamed. While we aren't usually (ever?) able to complete Pinterest-worthy crafts and take Pinterest-worthy photographs of them, make our own flax seed-based meatballs for the freezer or spend a full day at the zoo, we can make hedgehog pictures out of leaves, add flax seed to the ultra-easy muffins we were making anyway and walk to the park on a nice morning. Not too hard at all.

In fact, some would even say we're having fun.