2 freakouts in 2 days

It's been a stressful couple of days.

In the very wee hours of Thursday morning, I was, of course, awake. I was also in pain, something I'm getting used to by now but still don't enjoy, despite all my lamaze instructor's best efforts. So what could the pain be this time? Was I going to have yet another baby? I chalked it up to the Bojangles potato salad I'd had the night before and decided it really needed to be gone by morning.

I woke up for the next feeding--the pain was all gone! Until I actually moved, at which point it felt as if someone had filled my insides with gravel.

By morning it had lessened to more of a dull, yet very painful when I moved, ache, but it was still there. I also felt crummy. My temperature was 99.6, and I had extra bleeding. Google told me I should've already called the doctor and I might have an infection. Oh joy. I called and began the long process of getting them to actually call me back.

Meanwhile, I was trying to take care of a newborn--not an easy task on the best of days. Morale was low.

When Matt got home, he, too, turned to Google. What I heard from him: "You may have endometritis. It should clear up just fine with antibiotics, but there's a chance you might have to stay in the hospital. Don't worry, it's fine."

What he told me later he actually read: "Endometritis can be fatal." On the way to the doctor's appointment he asked me what brand of formula we would use if we needed to.

The pain got worse as soon as what I might have had a name, and freaking out ensued. Which probably caused more pain and thus more freaking out.

My day was made a bit easier by the fact that my doctor's appointment (they finally called back) was scheduled directly between feedings--it really couldn't have been more perfect. Kalina and Matt came with me, just in case and because I wasn't really up to driving, and Kalina charmed everyone in the waiting area by her cuteness and angelic behavior. She was wide-eyed most of the time, even in the car on the way. Hopefully Matt, for his part, didn't charm too many people by his cuteness.

The doctor seemed a bit puzzled by me, but fortunately not in a "you're crazy, go home" kind of way. I mentioned endometritis (although I know I didn't pronounce it right) and he immediately ruled it out, a fact that concerned Matt (and me, too, to be honest). I also mentioned the Bojangles potato salad, which he also ruled out. I guess I'm not meant to be a doctor. After lots of questions and examining, he decided that there really was some sort of a problem (we don't know exactly what) and prescribed 2 drugs to take care of it. Whew. No hospital stay for me!

One of the prescriptions needs to be taken every 6 hours for 10 days. No problem--I'm up all the time anyway so it's not like I'll be losing any sleep. Until I read the fine print, which says I can't lay down for 30 minutes after taking each dose, meaning I have to take this at the beginning of a feeding or else I'll lose out on 30 precious minutes of sleep--which is sometimes a full 20% of what I get for the night. The timing worked out well enough last night (Matt agreed that I can fluctuate an hour either way) but I'm not optimistic. The other drug could give me contractions, although I just finished the last dose and haven't felt much.

I'm feeling much better this morning, thank goodness. It's either the medications or the fact that Matt and I both slept through one of Kalina's feedings (Kalina slept through it, too). Oops. She seemed quite content, though (she'd spent about 4 hours of the previous evening grazing), so we're pretty sure we're not the worst parents ever.

The second freakout involved the umbilical cord stump, which Matt had informed me was hanging by a thread. This is all very normal, but that hadn't prepared me for actually seeing the thread this morning. It, unfortunately, looked like real umbilical cord, and was accompanied by dried blood. Yikes!!!

It didn't help that Kalina was screaming for no apparent reason. I convinced myself that she was not only in physical pain, but in emotional turmoil as well, seeing this little piece of her falling off. Remember: she has yet to even lose a tooth. Even as I tried to be calm, I started screaming also, and we both had a mother-daughter freakout session. As precious as that sounds, I was glad when it was over. She quieted a bit and I held her a little while (while Google told me that blood is normal, as is having the stump fall off on day 13, and when it does come off I should clean the area well with alcohol, and by the way it doesn't hurt the baby) before deciding to change her diaper.

I carefully lifted her so as not to rip the chunk off by mishandling, but saw, more to my relief than disgust, that it had come off on its own and had nestled down into the diaper. Good, I didn't even have to touch it.

The raw cord-ness of the final string had folded over, or something, into the baby so I was left with relatively healed skin and a little dried blood. That I could deal with. Kalina was being sweet and quiet (I guess she was over the mental anguish), so cleaning the area was relatively mentally painless for me, and physically painless for her. Whew. Crisis overcome.

I'm looking forward to a relatively calm weekend, please.