Going out

One of the major milestones of new motherhood is going grocery shopping alone with the new baby for the first time. Going out anywhere alone with the new baby is terrifying, and the grocery store in particular. Even veteran moms grimace when you mention taking children to the grocery store (I've heard it doesn't get easier as they get older). The reason is unclear, but it's a combination of the bathrooms not being particularly savory and the fact that grocery stores rank somewhere around the drivers license place as receptacles for "crazies."

My goal was to make the trip as fast and easy as possible. However, my first step was a risky one. I left before the baby was completely asleep. Really, it was foolish of me. The second rule of newborndynamics clearly states that newborns break down into chaos and disorder in their natural state unless something prompts them to reverse the flow. I was hoping that the car ride would do just that.

It did. Kalina seems to like her carseat (we discovered recently that she loves staring at the underside of the canopy. Of all the boring things to stare at...), and she only made a few peeps on the way over. I rationalized that if worse came to worse, I could turn around and drive the car right home. But she nodded off to semi-sleep, eyes only opening wide as we entered the store. She seemed scared, but was a trooper and soon went back to sleep. Apparently whatever was scaring her wasn't worth missing a good nap to worry about. Oh, to be young.

Speaking of the cart, that was obstacle number two. I've never figured out if it's chance or planning that has formed carseats to fit easily into carts (or for carts to fit perfectly under carseats). Before I left, I checked my carseat to see if it looked like it, too, would fit on a grocery cart. It was hard to tell, so I had no choice but to risk it.

As we arrived at the parking lot, I found myself wishing I'd watched my mom friends more carefully as they expertly removed their children and carseats from their cars, placed them on carts and wheeled them in. Why do they make it look so easy? Do I stand out as a newbie? At least my baby is tiny and therefore I understandably couldn't have had much practice. It took a couple tries, but I wrestled the carseat onto the cart. No one called social services, as far as I know.

Uh-oh, it's tipped pretty far back. Is that okay? I lifted the blanket covering Kalina to see if it looked like her feet were above her head, and therefore uncomfortable. They were about even. However, I realized that many lawn chairs and such are made with similar designs, so it must be okay. Right? No one was around to tell me, so once again I guessed and wheeled her into the store. She didn't scream, which means I must be doing something right. Right? I still don't know.

I found the food at the speed of light. I checked out (I patted myself on the back that I hadn't chosen to grocery shop on Saturday afternoon). We went home. Anticlimatic. There was some question when I was returning the cart as to whether it's better to wheel the baby with the cart to the cart return and then carry the baby in her carrier back to the car, or put the baby in the car (in the parking space one away from the cart return) and then return the cart. Unfortunately, I didn't ask myself this until I was in the middle of returning the cart, with Baby in the car. I felt like a bad mother for ditching my child, but it worked out.

The best part about taking Kalina places with me is seeing strangers crane their necks to get a look at my adorable child. Their conversations went something like: "Look at that sweet little girl! What a cutie!" and "If only my children were that cute!" or even "That beautiful girl takes after her mom." Okay, maybe not that last one.

Of course, I can't help but think that every conversation in the store must, in fact, revolve around my baby. Security cameras must be following us around, for instance, and it's all I can do to not answer "Thank you, we think she's amazing, too!" to anyone who so much as says "Paper or plastic?" to me. Because she's just that cute.

Anyway, I DID IT! I accomplished the feat of grocery shopping with my baby, with no screams from either of us! I feel like I should get a sticker somewhat akin to the "I voted" stickers they pass out at the polls. Instead, I got a cold reception from the cats (even the bad, yet friendly cat barely blinked at me) and the opportunity to now put all the groceries away.